# X

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To be confused with the X Window System.

X (from the Latin "X", meaning "ten"), is the twenty-fourth, and most dangerous, letter of the alphabet.

## People named X

Throughout history, there have been quite a number of people have either used "X" as their name, or changed their name to "X", because they were illiterate. Examples:

“Excuse me sir, but if you're going to say "quite a number," I suggest you provide more than four examples.”

~ Fucking nerd

“Is four a number? Yes. Is it quiet? Sometimes. So I suggest you shut the fuck up, you fucking nerd.”

~ Cool guy

“There is no need for such hostility, sir, but I believe we both said QUITE before and you just said QUIET. There's a difference.”

~ There's that fucking nerd again!!

“I said get the fuck outta here, you fucking nerd. I will kick your ass.”

~ That cool guy

## Death

The letter X passed away last weekend due to complications from AIDS because it was gay. X made frequent appearances on Sesame Street and was Malcom X's last name. It is survived by its neighbors W and Y. X was 2,832.

## X can be substituted

Don't feel like going to school? Too tired to do the laundry? Who needs to mow the grass? Don't know what added to five equals seven? Well, now it doesn't matter because you have X!

X can be substituted anywhere in the world for amazing results (this offer void in Canada and Wales). Try it one day. Summon an X.

for example:

5 + 2 = 7
5 + X = 7

Which one is true? Both are! conditions apply: results may vary for certain values of x, 2, 5 and 7.

## Finding X

What is X? Mathematicians have been trying to figure out what X is. Many studies have been conducted, only to find out that 2<X<15. In return, Y (X's whore) is yet to be found. But why does X need to be solved? Why do we need to go through the trouble of looking for X when we could just get on with our lives? Why can't X just find itself? Because X is lazy. X and it's whore Y have been deluding mankind for centuries like an algebraic Bonny & Clyde. Well we've found Clyde but Bonny is still to be found.

Another route to X, first identified by pirates

.

Finding X is a frequently asked question in the primary education phase of children's lives. Before pirates ruled the high seas, often the letter "A" was used as a substitute. Once pirates began to rule the world (and Johnny Depp and Blackbeard provided us with a love child that would later become Deputy Director of Education), the letter "X" was substituted for "A." Although many believe this as a method for tempting children to search for gold, the honest truth is that "X" was the only letter the pirates knew. As time passed and pirates became more and more extinct (see Pastafarianism) a premium was placed on preserving the noble deeds of the pirates. This reverence for pirates in the circles running the New World Order (in addition to Pastafarianism, see Discordianism, Pirates, Slavery, and Nazis) an attempt to brainwash students of Algebra was devised. By substituting the sacred pirate "X" for a letter, the New World Order hoped to brainwash students into searching for all the treasure hidden at the "X" that marks the spot. For those students who are unable to draw the quick conclusion illustrated (and leading them to Pythagorean gold) the finding X problem is often quite consternating. The concept of finding X is generally introduced in the early primary years. Until this point, children are often asked to solve difficult equations such as 2+2=__. In these cases, the student is simply asked to fill in the blank (2+2=__). Often, in classrooms led by young, blonde, unwed, female teachers who are recent college graduates, students are asked to fill in the: square, star, circle, snowman, frog, tree, diamond, hat, pentagon, butterfly, flower, ring, bird, cloud, engagement ring, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, wedding dress, tear drop, frustrated scribbles at yet another dead-end date, etc. When the format of 2+X=5 is introduced, many students are confused at the introduction of something that lacks froufrou feminine qualities. Regardless of their early math experiences, the conversion from __ to X is a revolutionary moment in a child's life. Generally the student is thrown into the deep end of the algebraic pool; students are never shown 2+2=X to "ease" the transition from __ to X. Instead, students are expected to make the jump from a blank in the result to an X in one of the summands. This is often a moment where children get left behind. Students who easily grasp the new algebraic aspect to their maths education are labelled such names as: boy/girl genius, showoff, smartass, teacher's pet. At about two weeks, such name calling will subside. At this point, the average student will have either copied off their more intelligent neighbors enough to grasp the topic, or their overachieving parents will have conferenced with the teacher enough to have the teacher reveal the answers as often as possible. So, the average students begin to shift away from their less intelligent peers towards their more intelligent ones. Approximately one week after the average students grasp the transition, they students who have yet to grasp the concept are even more harshly ridiculed. Names such as: dumbass, lardhead, shit for brains, cunt-licker, retard, and the heinous label of "stupid" are used to describe the students who have been left behind. It should be noted that during George Bush's presidency (and the No Child Left Behind Act) that X was always defined as "U.S.A." Answering a question with U.S.A. would always be correct, but only real Americans were aware of this.

## Symbolism

X is the international symbol for the lowest quality porn imaginable. X-marked grumble is suitable for grandmas and people recovering from major surgery. Even Clark Gable saying "damn" at the end of "Gone With The Wind" is more arousing than X-marked pr0n.

## Fun Facts

• X is never Y.
• Ten.
• Eggs.
• Operation X
• א is the same as x. Don't believe all that crap Wikipedia shoves at you.
• X actually ate 9, not 7.