Spacebar

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“Whatdoesthatbiglongthingatthebottomofthekeyboarddo?”

 SomeGuy on Spacebar

“Whoooa!Thislongthingatthebottomofthekeyboard'ssurenice!”

 Anotherguy on Spacebar

“That'swhatshesaid”

~ SomeGuy on thepreviousquotation

“That'swhereIwenttocelebratetheApolloMissions.”

~ NeilArmstrong on Spacebar?Oh,it'sa u--Igetit.
“ ”

 Spacebar on Spacebar

“Help!Myspacebarisbroken!”

~ SomeGuy

“Hey!_A_new_use_for_the_underscore_key!”

~ SomeGuy, five seconds later

“Ohno!Thatbroketoo!”

~ SomeGuy, five minutes later

“Hey!AAAnewAuseAforAeveryAkey!”

~ SomeGuy, five hours later

“”

~ SomeGuy, five days later

TheSpaceBar[edit | edit source]

T h e S p a c e b a r , a . k . a . t h e C o s m i c p u b i s a s o r t   o f   i n t e r   g a l a c t i c pub.    It'swherethescumofthegalaxycomeand drink.TheSpacebarislocatedattheotherendoftheuniverseastheRestaurantattheEndoftheUniverse.Theoddmistakentravelbrochuretothecontrary,th isdoesnotmeanthattheSpacebarislocatedatthebeginningoftheuniverse,since, Guy walks into a spacebar and sitsdown bartendersays whatll ya have guy says control-alt-delete please bartender gives him a dirty look and says we dont serve carpaltunnel here. eithertemporallyorspatially.Theyareownedbythesamecompany,Intergalac ticHospitalityGroup,(whoalsoownthePlutoHilton).

Gettingdrunkatthespacebar!

EverybodyknowsyournametherebecauseeveryonewhogoestheremustchangetheirnametoSusan.

SpacebarisaletteroftheEnglishAlphabet.Spacebarispronunciationofthe28letterofthealphabet,#####.Itisalsooneofthemostusefulkeysonthekeyboard Itislocatednexttothetimebar.

SomepeopleareunabletousethespacebarastheysufferfromBrokenSpaceBarDisorder.

Thespacebarwasdesignedtobethelongestpubinthegalaxy,farfarlongerthanyouraveragepunykey,toattractmoreclientelle.Itisasadfactthatpeople stillmissitswhereaboutsandendupdrinkinginlowerqualitydrinkingholes,liketheescapekey.

SpaceBarisalsoacandybar.Itconsistsmainlyofemptyspaceanddoesn'toffermuchsatisfactiontothetastebuds.3/10.

TheSpacebarisalsoauniversalsemencollectorandmarketingployformicrosoft,asitoftengetsstuckbetweenthekeysandyouhavetobuyanewkeyboardbe causetheoldoneistoogummedup.

PresidentSpaceBar[edit | edit source]

SpaceBar,bornBackspaceBarrShiftkey,wastheVice-Presidentfortheever-controversialEscapeKey,whowasthe5thand20thpresidentoftheUnitedStates.Aftertheconclusionofhisterm,BarspentsometimeattheBettyFordRehab CenterandtheHalliburtonBoardofDirectors,arecreationalcomplexforex-vice-presidents.

TheLife,Times,andDividesofSpaceBar

Barworkedhardonthefieldoftransmogrification,specializinginthetransformationoffooditemsintoanimalswithspecifictemperaturesandtheconversionof mildlyentertainingrockbandsintoelectronicdevicesandbodyparts,aswellastheatricalpieces,againwithcustomizedtemperatureconditions.Mostnotab lyinhiscareerwerehisworksonhotdogs,RadioheadsandColdplays.

SeveralcompanieslobbiedagainsttheworksofSpaceBar,includingMicroSoft,AltaVista,BlauPunktandHoneyWell.Duringhistermasvice-president,healsoenduredadiplomaticcrisiswiththeGermangoverment,knownforitsabuseoftermssuchasdieRidikulouslongwortanddasWirdontlikensp acen.

FunfactsaboutSpaceBar[edit | edit source]

  • Hisfavoritenumberis42.
  • Middlesonoffourbrothers:Alt,Space,AltGrandEpsteinBar.
  • BrotherofBeatlesdrummer,RingoShift(néeRichardShiftkey)
  • SpaceBaralwaysbinds'Shoot'-actiontotheSpaceBar,andnotthemorecommon'Jump'-action.
  • InSovietRussia,barspacesYOU!!
  • OneofthreepeopleinAmericabelievesthat'Spacebar'isachocolatebar,INSPACE.
  • Spacebarispronouncedspa-SEE-bah(specialthankstoMicrosoftSam)
  • providesapleasurablefeelingwhenyoupressit
  • InventedbyWilliamWordsworth
  • Itisthelongestkeybecauseithasasuperioritycomplex
Hejustcan'ttypeproperly.

Computerspacebar[edit | edit source]

Thespacebarisakeyonacomputerkeyboardthatstopswordsfromcrashingtogether. Whenthishappensitcanbeveryawkwardtoreadthetextandcausesdiscomforttotheviewer. Thespacebaristraditionallyplacedsothatitcanbeeasilyaccessedbyeitherhand,orbyeitherthumbinthecaseoftouchtyping. Itisuniqueinbeingtheonlykeyonthekeyboardthatcanbereliablyoperatedbycats-theirpawsaremuchtoolargeforeveryotherkeyandusuallyenduptypingthingslike

uoikj

or

erd5f

a


Manypeoplesuggestthatopposoblethumbsmakepressingthespacebareasier,thoughmanystudieshaveshownthatthisissimplynottrue. Thisisnotparticularlysurprisingasthistheoryismainlystipulatedbycats,thebastards.

Now,pleasehammeronthespacebartocontinue.Spacebarabuseispunishablebylawandyourlogicalsentincewilllooklikea10yearoldtypedit.

SpaceBarIsNotSpaCebar[edit | edit source]

ManyhaverumoredthatSpaceBarisinfactSpaCebarbutthosepeopleareprettydrunkmostofthetimeandalsothinkDouglasAdamswroteHamlet.

Seealso[edit | edit source]