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The Third Epistle to the Thessalonians, also known as the The Third Letter to the Thessalonians, is a purported letter from St. Paul to the community at Thessalonika. Unlike the first two epistles to the church, in which Paul expressed love and support to the Christians in the city while attempting to answer their questions, the apostle completely loses it in the third letter, and liberally sprinkles his escathology with insults like "doofus" and "morons".
Debates over the authenticity of 3 Thessalonians have raged since at least the second century. Origen apparently knew of it, but was too busy writing Contra Celsum (Against Celsus) and Contra Testicles (It is not a tragedy to lose one's balls) to prepare a commentary. Eusebius mentions the letter in his Historia Ecclesia, but the work was thought lost until it was found in a leather-bound manuscript in Cairo in 1993. Modern scholars tend to reject the epistle's authenticity outright. A small but influential group of dissidents argue that the frustration in the letter, as well as the "Copyright: Tentmaker Productions, Just Before Jesus' Return in Glory" notice at the end of the letter, suggest Pauline authorship. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?
- ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
- ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
- ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
- ... that school is an asylum where they mentally and physically abuse you for seven cruel hours, all with your parents' approval?
- ... that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
In the news
- Trump given yet another Nobel Peace Prize for ending war he started 3 hours ago (Pictured)
- Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs
- UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday
- Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches!
- ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America
- North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
- 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement • Bills Mafia shitting themselves after losing the division to the Patsies due to a terrible kicker • Nanny state officials breaching people's right to privacy via enforcing social media bans and digital ID on their respective countries under the pretext of "think of the children!"
Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions' and Indianapolis Colts' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once again • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix •
On this day
January 4: International Schadenfreude Day
- 1666 - The Great Fire of London begins as the Christmas decorations are taken down too close to a naked flame.
- 1974 - The Second Coming of Christ faces serious setbacks almost a year after the Supreme Court rules on Roe v. Wade.
- 1995 - Neil Diamond is kidnapped and forced to listen to his own music for seven consecutive days by his captors.
- 2009 - California Adventure and UC Irvine sign a treaty, but because Irvine was too busy playing Pokemon during negations, no one is sure exactly what the agreement is about.
- 2017 - God or aliens or lizard people must have lots of fun watching our misfortune.
- 4581 - The first Twinkie expires, mutant Octopeople everywhere worry about their food supply.
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NEW! Individual wrappings prevent Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Image credit: MoneySign |
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