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From today's featured article 

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The Final Destination (or God Doesn't Love You: the Movie) films are a series of three four five horror films about the illegal yet hilarious antics of the Grim Reaper. Originally released as a means of making money, the Final Destination films have evolved into something more: a horror franchise with countless sequels. Since entering this waste-paper basket of broken dreams, the Final Destination films have slowly begun to go down in terms of quality and humor. But they will always be available as a last resort for boobs and blood rolled into one, so their considerable fan base of nerds and drunken people will always be satisfied.

Each film is loosely based upon the premise of not dying when you're supposed to. This generally happens to teenagers in the films (after all, what other age group delivers such fun and sexy antics?), therefore the Grim Reaper must extract his revenge immediately. He does so by stalking the teens, watching the females shower and then killing them, hopefully with as much disembowelment as possible. Now, with such a fun concept to use, it could never get stale, right?
__ Right?
(Full article...)

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One simply cannot piss until he scans this.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.

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Upcoming deaths: DEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career and freedom • Coral reefs

On this day 

William, the King of Shatner and five-time recipient of the coveted Shatner Award

October 21: William Shatner Appreciation Day

Picture of the day

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Eugene Krabs stands in awe before his establishment as Donald Trump enacts his wonderful tariffs.

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