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From today's featured article
Sexual harassment ("HAIR-iss-mint") is harassment or unwelcome attention of a sexual nature. It includes a range of behavior from mild transgressions and annoyances to serious abuses which can even involve forced sexual activity – but honestly, why don't we relax a little bit? Jiggle for me, baby. Yeah. Yeah, that's great.
Eighty percent of men are drawn to your tits, but I'm an ass man and, honest to God, I think Michelangelo sculpted your rear end. Ninety percent of me wants to lie down on that back porch right here, right now. Man, if these walls weren't glass, I'd have to chain myself to the desk. Oh, come on. Don't get so uptight, honey. My bark's a lot worse than my bite. But don't take my word for it. If you catch my drift. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... if you are right brained or left brained? (Pictured)
- ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
- ... that I am Batman?
- ...that you just lost the Game?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
In the news
- Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
- Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" (Pictured)
- Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
- THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
- Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
- New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing the NBA Finals
- Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
- Taylor Swift buys back her masters
- "Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard
- Qatar personally gifts Trump a plane
- Austria wins Eurovision
- MLB welcomes cheaters and pedophiles into HOF
- New cast and plotlines announced for longest running Filipino sitcom
- BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!!
- Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big."
- Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank
- PBS and NPR to lose funding
- Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout
- Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's social media feud • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley Cup • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team
Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • Carolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly Stallone Stone • Brian Wilson
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success and ego • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Los Angeles, again
On this day
June 14: Really Long Events Day
- 1882 - Longest breath holding contest starts in Aberdeen, Scotland. Contestants have still refused to breathe, on account of being dead.
- 1939 - German engineers unveil longest train in the world. As of 2025, giant line of old men are still waiting to fuck a skeleton.
- 2001 - Scientists find a very long worm, not by any means a world record breaker, but still very long.
- 2009 - Experimental artist creates world's most tortuously long song, it is just "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train, with no modifications whatsoever.
- 2012 - Man discovered to have the longest penis, but since it starts way up in the clavicle it's only two inches on the outside.
- 2019 - You wait for a package from Amazon, it takes two days to get here! What the fuck?
Picture of the day
Something seems to be missing, but everyone is too stoned to care. Image credit: Volte |
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