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From today's featured article 

TAFKAGprince.jpg

God (born God Cohen in 4004 BC in Liverpool, England) is one of the most famous and prolific musicians in the Western world. Though he recorded under the name God during his early career, a contractual dispute with his former label led him to change his recording name to YHVH. Due to YHVH being an unpronounceable set of consonants, he is most often referred to as "The Artist Formerly Known as God," "TAFKAG," or simply "The Artist." Throughout his career he has embraced many styles of music and is cited as an influence by a wide array of current artists. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that 9/11 (Pictured) was an outside job?
  • ... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
  • ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
  • ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
  • ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
  • ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?

In the news 

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Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 3 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement • Bills Mafia shitting themselves after losing the division to the Patsies due to a terrible kicker

Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions' and Indianapolis Colts' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' backup's ACL

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Pittsburgh Steelers' season • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard • Dick van Dyke, eventually • 2025 • Stranger Things

On this day 

Always Kills Governments, Always!

December 30: Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day

  • 4004 BC - God remembers to create the Earth. Oh, and everything else, too. Except for sliced bread.
  • 4 BC - Emperor Augustus remembers he was gonna have a census this year! Having missed his opportunity, he proclaims, "Let there be a day upon which all things previously contemplated throughout the last year finally be at once accomplished! Except for tomorrow. But shhhh!" Thus, the "Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day" was inaugurated.
  • 1037 - King Arthur loses the holy grail to Nigerian timeshare scammers, crusades ensue.
  • 1999 - Procrastinators think about preparing for the Y2K bug, but put it off until December 31.
  • 2002 - Saddam Hussein realises he forgot to send George Bush a Christmas card.
  • 2004 - Weren't we gonna start a parady of wickerpedialyte? Yeah? Shit! Better luck next year.
  • 2005 - Forget it! If it ain't done, wait 'til next year.
  • 2006 - Saddam Hussein executed for forgetting to send Bush a Christmas card. Again.
  • 2012 - The Mayans remember to end the world with a BANG!

Picture of the day

Insert image title here, without link
 That's gonna leave a mark!

Image credit: Bizzeebeever
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,141 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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