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the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
166 active editors • 40,185 articles in English

From today's featured article 

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Sexual harassment ("HAIR-iss-mint") is harassment or unwelcome attention of a sexual nature. It includes a range of behavior from mild transgressions and annoyances to serious abuses which can even involve forced sexual activity – but honestly, why don't we relax a little bit? Jiggle for me, baby. Yeah. Yeah, that's great.

Eighty percent of men are drawn to your tits, but I'm an ass man and, honest to God, I think Michelangelo sculpted your rear end. Ninety percent of me wants to lie down on that back porch right here, right now. Man, if these walls weren't glass, I'd have to chain myself to the desk. Oh, come on. Don't get so uptight, honey. My bark's a lot worse than my bite. But don't take my word for it. If you catch my drift. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
  • ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
  • ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
  • ... that I am Batman?
  • ...that you just lost the Game?
  • ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
  • ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?

In the news 

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Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's social media feud • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley CupAaron Rodgers finally signing with a team

Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1Rick DerringerCarolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom QueenJohn RedcornBrian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for himSly Stallone Stone Brian Wilson

Upcoming deaths: DEIDiddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screenNew York Knicks' future success and ego • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. KellyLos Angeles, again

On this day 

LONG LONG MAN

June 14: Really Long Events Day

  • 1882 - Longest breath holding contest starts in Aberdeen, Scotland. Contestants have still refused to breathe, on account of being dead.
  • 1939 - German engineers unveil longest train in the world. As of 2025, giant line of old men are still waiting to fuck a skeleton.
  • 2001 - Scientists find a very long worm, not by any means a world record breaker, but still very long.
  • 2009 - Experimental artist creates world's most tortuously long song, it is just "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train, with no modifications whatsoever.
  • 2012 - Man discovered to have the longest penis, but since it starts way up in the clavicle it's only two inches on the outside.
  • 2019 - You wait for a package from Amazon, it takes two days to get here! What the fuck?

Picture of the day

The Last Supper
Something seems to be missing, but everyone is too stoned to care.

Image credit: Volte
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,185 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.