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From today's featured article
The Final Destination (or God Doesn't Love You: the Movie) films are a series of three four five horror films about the illegal yet hilarious antics of the Grim Reaper. Originally released as a means of making money, the Final Destination films have evolved into something more: a horror franchise with countless sequels. Since entering this waste-paper basket of broken dreams, the Final Destination films have slowly begun to go down in terms of quality and humor. But they will always be available as a last resort for boobs and blood rolled into one, so their considerable fan base of nerds and drunken people will always be satisfied.
Each film is loosely based upon the premise of not dying when you're supposed to. This generally happens to teenagers in the films (after all, what other age group delivers such fun and sexy antics?), therefore the Grim Reaper must extract his revenge immediately. He does so by stalking the teens, watching the females shower and then killing them, hopefully with as much disembowelment as possible. Now, with such a fun concept to use, it could never get stale, right?
__ Right?
(Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that I'm coming to get you? (Pictured)
- ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
- ...that if you say peacock, no one bats an eye, but if you say poopcock, everyone blows their minds?
- ... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class?
- ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
- ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
- ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?
- ... that the butler did it?
In the news
- Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life
- Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
- The US government continues to shit itself
- Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake (Pictured)
- BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children
- Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
- Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
- Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland
- Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK
- Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year
- Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
- NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.
Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley • Any hopes for a KISS reunion
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career and freedom • Coral reefs
On this day
October 21: William Shatner Appreciation Day
- 1989 - The gateway to Hell opened up for the eleventh time since Britney Spears got out, but it was only to let Mr. Flufferkins go tinkle. Mr. Rogers' neighborhood never recovered.
- 1992 - Rachael Ray's chicken gains intelligent life
- 1997 - Frogger crossed the road for the very first time
- 1998 - The $5 bill was invented
- 2007 - Buster Keaton is slowly forgotten once again.
- 2008 - Klingon made the official language of the United States.
- 2009 - You read this.
- 2015 - Marty McFly and Dr. Emmett Brown arrive to Hill Valley from the year 1985.
- 2024 - A fly travels to Nova Scotia to drink some sodas.
Picture of the day
Eugene Krabs stands in awe before his establishment as Donald Trump enacts his wonderful tariffs. Image credit: SystemPhantom |
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