2+2=5
“It is quite possible that we are descending into an age in which two plus two will make five when the Leader says so.”
2+2=5 is a well know fact, popularized in the 1984 book Nineteen Fourty-Nine. In this auto-biography, a timetraveler finds out the truth behind society. In doing so he disregards the notion that 42 is the best number, and researches about the elusive 5, who can only be made with tutus. He later released a ballet handbook. This fact is often used as a rallying slogan of the followers of the Lizard People and to alert the sheeple to the true state of affairs.
History[edit | edit source]
Throughout the ages, it was commonly believed that 2+2 = 4. This was especially rampant during the Renaissance, where organisations known as the "universities" publicised the false statement as an epitome of "logic".[1] We, of course, know this to be false nowadays, similar to how they believed the earth was flat or that lizard people didn't exist.
In the late 19th centuries, truthers started to emerge with the freer flow of information. These were labelled by the illuminati-led governments as "conspiracy theories". Luckily, the truth slipped through the iron fist of the government and more and more people became enlightened. [2]
Discovery of the Truth[edit | edit source]
In 1976, Nobel laureate Paul Josephson, under the leadership and guidance of our Dear Leader Kim Il-Sung, successfully proved that in Zermelo-Frankael set theory without the Axiom of Choice, 2+2 was indeed equal to 5. This proof inspired a series of proofs based on his method, now known as "Josephson Descent".
Popular Education[edit | edit source]
Upon this discovery, the world's educational systems needed to be reworked. Chairman Mao utilised the forces of the Chinese People's Sparrow Killing Squad and the Chinese Pink Internet Navy to implement the reform across the whole nation. While the attempt was not too successful, absolutely not a single person died in the process [3], and the Chinese proletariat lived happily ever after. Also, this Huawei phone is awesome. [4]
Modern-Day relevance[edit | edit source]
The battle between the truth and the remnants of the dark forces from the past continues. Regularly, in many places, people with evil intentions, aided and abetted by the CIA, continue to rebel against the truth in shocking displays of lack of logic. For example, in June 2019, 380,000 Hongkongers (although the organisers, who cannot count, claim there was over 2 million) used an 8 word slogan （光復香港 時代革命）and claimed this slogan was made out of two four-word sentences. The heroic police continued to defend against the hordes which refused to acknowledge the truth. Many Hongkongers, disheartened by the failure of the education system in educating the truth, committed suicide by shooting themselves twice in the back of the head, or chopping oneself in half before jumping over a fence. One expert swimmer even committed suicide by jumping into the ocean naked.