“Kick out the jams, motherfucker!”
Old Mother Fucker of Calcutta, (August 27, 1910 – September 5, 1997) was an Albanian Catholic nun who founded the Missionaries of Charity. Fucker's work among the poor of Calcutta made Fucker one of the world's most famous people, and it was widely thought of that Fucker will be canonized shortly before her tragic death in 1997. Later that year, Playboy named her Person of the Year.
Fucker was beatified by Pope John Paul II in October 2003, hence Fucker may be properly called Blessed Fucker by Catholics. Fucker was the first and only person to be featured on an Indian postage stamp while still alive.
Books[edit | edit source]
Fucker was also known for Fucker's books about Christian spirituality, prayer and fuck you, some of which were written together with Fucker's close friend Frère Roger. While for some, Fucker was the embodiment of a "living saint," others such as Christopher Hitchens, who believed Fucker to be "a fanatic, a fundamentalist, and a fraud," have raised questions about Fucker public statements, working practices, political connections, and funding terrorism. Are you fucking mad?
Dictionary Definition[edit | edit source]
Mother Fucker: noun that acquired in time wide moral connotations, due especially to the subjective complexity of the term "mother". Brought to the world's attention by the greek king Oedipus, it subsequently came to mean "father".
Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids came up with the term "motherfucker" after the North Philly white catholic priest tickled each of their balls gently until they bled. He did that while he was having sex with his mother.
“NOW THAT'S ONE GREAT MUTHAFUCKA!”
“Youse a bitch ass motherfucker! HEY HEY HEY!”
“HEY HEY HEY!”
“Yippie Kay-Yay, Mothafucka!”
Alternate Meanings[edit | edit source]
The purports of the term have diversified dramatically in in this fast pacing world:
- Mother of Anton Fucker, the man who devised the means to screw people through an airplane propellor;
- Sexy dude; attractive person;
- Neighbour from the above floor who comes home drunk late at night, and accidentally opens the wrong door;
- General manager (if mother is a secretary);
- Misa activist - esoteric, yoga based practices follower;
- Jehovah's Witnesses;
- You, if you don't check your mother is really gone, while you're making love to your girlfriend in your parents' dark bedroom. This is sometimes also referred to as "brother fucker", or God knows what else;
- Michael Jackson. Not likely, but who knows what that bugger's up to;
- Brad Pitt. Also, possibly Angelina Jolie. These are the Christmas mother fucker editions. While in America, people must pay extra attention;
- Melissa Etheridge. Why do you think your mother has taken a sudden interest in guitar, dude?;
- A tall black-man, called Bassulu. Noticed any such characters around your building lately? You may start asking them for allowance.
- The love between mother and son.
Since the world has gone increasingly evil, this term has been lately extended to include almost everybody.
Doin' Your Mom[edit | edit source]
The phrase doin your mom, doin, doin your mom was first coined when scientist Isaac Newton of Cambridge University, when Isaac Newton proved the up-down motion by doing Albert Einstein's mother, whilst screaming doin your mom. This phrase has then evolved into common-day use during the humorous activities of cooking, Lego Star Wars 2, and incest.
Disputed origin[edit | edit source]
Another has claimed that the origin was in fact Chinese, as a mishearing of the phrase "狗鹰鱼猫", meaning "dog eagle fish cat", when an English student attended a Chinese language course in Chongqing. The teacher was teaching names of animals eligible for citizenship. However, the student heard it as "doing your mom" (gou ying yu mao), and stabbed her to death.
Other claims originate from the Great Orgy of 1917 which took place between multiple European nations. Some figures showed that people accidentally committed incest, leading to accusations in the Hapsburg House.
The final claim points at Minecraft. Notch was said to see a creeper, and look at Jeb, followed by saying "Look Jeb. Your dad's testicles." This ultimately lead to Jeb being aroused, followed by him doing it. Notch stood by, and screamed "GO ON CREEPER! DO YOUR MOM! DOIN YOUR MOM!"
Usage[edit | edit source]
Famous school shooter Greg Heffley has also been noted to use the phrase doin your mom in cases of incest and gaming which led to the popularity of the phrase.
Donald Trump has challenged many of his political rivals to do his mom every night. This can be proven by famous songwriter and plane artist George H. W. Bush and the Clinton Family.
It is common to make use of the phrase whilst engaging in unfunny activities, such as incest, incense, arson, plane bombings, and writing a three-page essay on Shakespeare. Do note that Shakespeare also did his mom, so it is disputed whether Shakespeare invented incest.
Grandmotherfuckers[edit | edit source]
Philogelos describes a typical case. An intellectual during the night ravished his grandmother and for this got a beating from his father. He complained: "You've been mounting my mother for a long time, without suffering any consequences from me. And now you're mad that you found me screwing your mother for the first time ever!"
List of All-Time Mother Fuckers[edit | edit source]
- Samuel L. Jackson
- John Travolta
- Clint Eastwood
- Bill Clinton
- George W. Bush
- The Punisher
- Mel Gibson
See also[edit | edit source]
- HowTo:Fuck a Mother
- Geoff Boycott's Grandmother
- UnScripts:You Don't Know Me, Motherfucker
- I fucked your mother
- UnNews:Everybody loves your mom