Mel Gibson
| Next Joker | |
|---|---|
 Mel Gibson (second to left, non-clockwise) among the other candidates to direct the next Joker. | |
| Directed by | Mel Gibson |
| Written by | Todd Phillips |
| Starring | Morbidly Obese Penguin |
Release date | See article punchline |
Running time | Mel for Pres 22 |
| Language | Dead |
Melvin Cucumber Gibson LW (1270 - ∞) is a drunk American film director who is about to direct the upcoming unnamed sequel to Joker, and also all the rest of the sequels. Among those sequels will probably be titles such as JJ84, The Naked Joker 666.67, etc. Gibson is also a famed actor and drunk person, and the director of Apocalypto and Braveheart. As mentioned before, Gibson is also a drunk director with the ability to get away with anything using the fact that he is drunk. For this reason, Gibson has been chosen to direct the sequel to Joker, which is the most unnecessary movie of all time. The movie tells the story of the Joker during the period between the movie Joker and the movie The Dark Knight, and mostly explains how the Joker has received his iconic Joker lips. Besides that, the movie explains absolutely nothing, and it might as well be a sequel to Passion of the Christ, the cinema equivalent of the band Creed.
Gibson's movies are known for bizarre scenes such as cutting off people's balls while small children are watching, eating raw animal balls, and basically anything balls-related which isn't James Bond getting hit in the balls.
Which was awesome.
...comes a journey into a lost world, like you've never experienced.
For a hundred years now, Hollywood has been our beloved home. We've been drinking, eating and farting in it, while watching great flicks such as The Gold Rush, Airplane! and Joker. But now, the Aflickaplypse is upon us. Nothing seems to be the same, as awful shit manufactured for Chinese viewers is created by American filmmakers every year, and almost no bat is getting sick by it. And so our favorite LA neighborhood has decided to turn to its ultimate superhero, Mel Gibson, to save the day. No more sacrificial cunts making garbage movies for people who don't even give a shit about their own cinema. All they care about is making a third baby! Two babies aren't enough for the Chinese, apPARENTly. They need exactly three babies so that each kid could watch 30 minutes of the new Fast & Furious and have time to do their homework with one of their siblings. Because their parents don't have time to see them, they are too busy watching some other shit.
Who is Mel Gibson really? He only directed like four movies, for Christ's sake. And the Passion was really fucking missionary, but The Ten Commandments was just as missionary and it's considered to be one of Hollywood's best. If you think about it, making a movie about Muhammad would be a much more courageous move. Maybe that should be Mel's next project. So who is Mel Gibson really?
As a civilization comes to an end...
During most of his acting career, Gibson has been in an action-hero contest with Bruce Willis, in which he lost. Signs was kind of good. As a director, he has made 2.5 decent movies and one awful one. According to Wikipedia, he likes to moon his actors while directing and make them wear red noses while stoning Jesus Christ's balls.
Contrary to what non-Wikipedia readers think, Danny Glover's first movie was Lethal Weapon and not Saw. Amazing, right?
...an epic journey home...
So Joker is sitting in his prison cell and he's waiting for Batman to grow up and become a superhero, right? Suddenly, someone gets into the prison cell and places a reverse bear trap on Joker's head. Joker is all like WTF I HAVE REVERSE BEAR TRAP ON MY HEAD and this other penguin tells Joker that he wants to play a game. Joker is all like WTF DO YOU WANT and the other person tells him that he wants to know if the Joker scars are real or a fake in 60 seconds, or he will operate the trap and Joker gets real scars anyway. Joker is all like WTF THIS IS A MEL GIBSON ARTICLE COULDN'T YOU JUST PUT A RED NOSE ON ME OR SOMETHING and the other person doesn't say anything and just responds by mooning Joker and getting out of the cell. Joker is all like COMEBACK YOU FUCKING BITCH I CAN'T EVEN SPEAK and waits for 60 seconds.
...will begin.
And then Joker 2 comes out and Hollywood is destroyed. No more Avatars, EVER. That's it. It's over, man. No more movies, just Family Guy and Fox News. Combined to one show, probably.
AFLE☾KALYPTO
April 1, 2,000,000,022, hopefully.
 |  |
|
This article is part of UnfilM The preferred oeuvre of Drive-Ins everywhere. |
