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What Are Freaks?[edit | edit source]

Freaks are not people - well, they are but they just forget that they were once human and could be once again with a little less pretending not to be and a little more collaboration with the others at their receiving end of their heels.

Geeks[edit | edit source]

Geeks, though freaky, can be of much valuable use. Especially in movies, like Spiderman, Good Will Hunting, or Win a Date With Tad Hamilton because we as compassionate human beings can learn from their unnatural paths. Geeks can also be employed for our entertainment, although they are usually just hired to train new employees and then get fired when they show up late. But who cares? They are way overqualified, anyways.

Geeky[edit | edit source]

What makes a freak a geek? Here are some good examples:

After Bush's Uniter Backfired[edit | edit source]

By the By – Anyone else in here ever notice how much RUSH's head and profile resembles one of the concealed cheeks in the general area of the protruding butt-crack almost identically? And then when he starts ranting; doesn’t it smell like that area as well? (Fair Warning Here: Once someone tells you this sub-conscious truth about Rush Humbug's 'better half' you can't look away).

Rush Humbug's View From the 'Treasure Bath' Peanut Gallery: "To Hooey With His Hopes! - IMHO Failure IS My Far More Profitable Option Here!" Incidentally Folks, feel free to write, call or e-mail any of my $63,000,000 dollar a year Fox News / Clear Channel Sponsors[1] I mean if you don't like it: Who Cares, really? - By all means waste their time - it's not on my dime! (After all, if I'm not bothered by it they likely won't be either!) Sure, they're my meal ticket but heck, they'll probably wind up apologizing to me for the bother; just like everyone else does!

The Great Geek Insurrection[edit | edit source]

Back in the 1960's and 70's, being a freak was becoming more accepted, and the population of freaks was growing rapidly. Eventually, they thought they had enough power to take over. Two years before the deadly 1969 Rock Massacre in Bethel, NY, the geeks began their campaign. They started with San Francisco, thus beginning the Battle of the Summer of Love, which led to the complete destruction of that city.

With their first victory accomplished, the geeks spread out, storming city after city, and spreading their anti-war ideologies while at the same time assaulting the populace with loud rock music, propaganda, and cannabis fumes. The Insurrection lasted for about 8 years, having spread to many countries, and ending with nearly 121,850,000 casualties worldwide (half being in the US). The siege was finally stopped by mass malnourishment.

Recently, freaks have banded together and proclaimed that being called a freak "Isn't-not unkind", and that all the teasing is "less-than-quasi-humane". Their group, called People for the Ethical Treatment of Abnormals, has begun suing many other organizations and companies for "unfair and anti-nice" accusations and supporting groups that frequently make jokes about freaks. Some freaks have even gone to new measures by spraying pro-freak graffiti on public buildings (such as "Abnormals Are People Too" and "In Soviet Russia, freaks tease YOU"), torching the vehicles of people who "oppress", and capturing and humiliating those who they see as a threat to their cause.

The geeks smartly decided to stay out of that whole mess by shacking up and playing video games.

Should An Encounter Arise[edit | edit source]

Don't panic. Act completely normal, because if you behave nervously, they'll take that as an insult and probably make a spectacle of it. If you are caught talking to one, treat them as a regular human being, and always keep eye-contact. They can sense prejudice and fear.

See also[edit | edit source]