User talk:Kippy/5

Awww Shit

Why you get blocked again while I only got blocked 12 times? I liked it when I had the more recent block. Damn it! —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Sawblade5 (talk • contribs) 10:07, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

It's because you aren't as gobshitey ...yet. Hang in there and keep trying, man. The earth's inner core is the limit. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 12:44, Feb. 2, 2010

Seriously though, it does suck that my over 2 month streak was broken, am I right? Considering FFS will probably be closing soon, we should to have a little contest on who gets the next ban. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 12:53, Feb. 2, 2010

Is this an unspoiled talk page I see before me?

Well, no, because you've done that "partial archive" thing. But this, therefore, still counts as a despoil. Consider yourself ruined. --UU - natter 13:01, Feb 2

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 13:04, Feb. 2, 2010

Blue Ball Factory

Thanks for your reformatting; the article has been saved from deletion (that is, saved from me). But the fact remains that the author has absolutely nothing to say about the subject, and he babbles for a few moments until it degenerates into bitching out the reader. Any ideas for this? Spıke ¬  11:46 8-Feb-10

I'm thinking a history of the Blue Ball Factory. How the factory was founded (by Rube Goldberg, no doubt), some huge scandals leaked to the press, how the company saved it self from the brink of failure. Perhaps there should be an explaination for why there's a demand for blue balls in the small town where it's located? The different types of blue ball manufacturing machines section should be greatly expanded as well. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 15:54, Feb. 8, 2010

I've taken a first cut at it--mostly more babble about the possible uses of blue balls, but a higher quality of babble than it had before, and I've cut out the tiny final sections where the author bitched out the reader.

On the manufacturing machines, I'd have the two side illustrations just say "Creation of blue balls" and "Deletion of blue balls"--The sales pitches now associated with the illustrations are sort of apropos of nothing. Did you know that there is a Category:Blue Ball Factory? And there are a dozen more illustrations, mostly animated GIFs. Go wild! Spıke ¬  16:36 8-Feb-10

UnNews:Obama no longer seems special due to New Orleans Saints

Took another pass over it, mostly to fit the illustrations around the text with less blank space. It could still use additional text if you see a theme. By the way, I enjoyed your UnNews article; I've been doing one a day for a little while. It seemed sort of like an editorial, but I am sure the Rev. Zim, who writes some opinion pieces there, has never written that Obama no longer seems special! Spıke ¬  00:07 9-Feb-10

Thanks! I was worried the UnNews article was boring and didn't fully capture the essence of the premise. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 00:11, Feb. 9, 2010

Could be worse! There was an article about being in Arabia during wartime; it was essentially song lyrics, and I think it got deleted. (I deleted a remnant, with red link, from {{RecentUnNews}}. And another article, about Obama making #8 on the Google list of people acquiring "Fucking" as their middle name by exasperated citizens, got an {{ICU}}.

I'm rereading yours. It stays in the "newspaper" frame and does a good job juggling two stories, the game result and the effect on Obama. It's odd, but perhaps necessary because of the double theme, that you have buried the lead (judging from the headline) in the second paragraph after a lengthy first one. Fourth paragraph (Can't trust expert opinions) made me stop and wonder whether the goal was news or opinion. The rest of the piece is straight news--but there is a way to interview the drunk brothers on their couch without inserting the reporter into the story so much.

I was ready to write a follow-up article about New Orleans and its persecution complex, citing Kanye West and the Cheney/Halliburton hurricane machine. But the Saints blew it. Spıke ¬  00:24 9-Feb-10

Yes, the Saints were the ones that blew it! Ha ha. Actually, I was going to write this before the Super Bowl, since I didn't think they would win, but my keyboard malfunctioned. Although I might try to convert it to an editorial after your points. Occasionally, I like to make references to "this reporter" when I write UnNewses for comedic effect. As for waiting for the second paragraph before mentioning Obama, that was for comedic effect too. You're reading about the game, and then out of no where it states that one blunt sentence all by itself. It'll probably work better if I changed the title. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 00:34, Feb. 9, 2010

No, "this reporter" is the customary way to avoid writing "I"--but neither is needed in this case. Let me take a hack at that one paragraph, which you can revert if you like. Spıke ¬  00:40 9-Feb-10 PS--I see "this reporter" returns two paragraphs later and breaks up a family fight. Stet. Spıke ¬  00:44 9-Feb-10

I appreciate your help, but I'm going to go the editorial route. It makes more sense when reporting from someone's living room. I really don't want to lose the Bud Light joke. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 00:50, Feb. 9, 2010

I didn't touch that paragraph! (Stet="It stands") Spıke ¬  00:55 9-Feb-10

DON'T YOUR CONTRADICT ME. *breaks bottle on own head* -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 00:59, Feb. 9, 2010

Well, it's your article, but I don't like the change. Anyone can write a "This is how I feel" essay; but it is a lot more challenging to sneak forward a subversive opinion while wearing the straitjacket of an UnNews reporter. Spıke ¬  01:55 9-Feb-10

Good point. Let met lick me chops and tackle this again. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 02:06, Feb. 9, 2010

The Reverend is in there too, fixing typos. Spıke ¬  02:14 9-Feb-10

Okay, I'm about to go on an editing sabbatical for a few days. I really appreciate all your help. I only ask you add the article to your watchlist in case someone adds stupid things to it during the next few days. If you need me, I'll be in the chatroom. Peace out! -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 04:55, Feb. 9, 2010

Forget all that. I changed my mind. XD -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 07:08, Feb. 9, 2010

Now this version, I like. It is firmly back in the Reporter point-of-view, but the reporter in question is demented, obsessed with interpreting every single angle of his story with a throw-away politics analogy (which is, of course, the point). Spıke ¬  13:18 9-Feb-10

UnNews:...Freemasons disgruntled

Good story! odd that it's the first big one on the capital's four feet of snow. Aleister fixed some typoes and I fixed some hyphens. I thought that the sentence about the guy shitting himself took the joke too far (namely, into Junior High School). I wrote the one about investigative reporters shifting from Wasilla to the Scott Brown trail. And tried my first UnNews audio (regarding the PC encryption chip). It advances the state of the art with a Teletype background. Spıke ¬  19:35 10-Feb-10

Thanks! The idea came to me while I was watching the news last night while the Tea Party protestors were on my mind. Tip: The sole difference between your average Conservative/Libertarian and a far-right radical is their polar opposite views of the government's competence. The thing about Frosty and Ron Paul was simply a throwaway joke I wanted to use. Ends the article on a high note, IMO. Meanwhile, your article is a good read. Mocks media's obsession with Sarah Palin and Scott Brown, who I could honestly not care less about, and the inconsequential psuedo-dirt uncovered on them. A little slow in some places, but wraps up nicely. For some reason the rented house made me chuckle. Reminds me of the low-income houses my family members and I have lived in. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 20:20, Feb. 10, 2010

Regarding "slow in some places," I tightened it up by another 3%. I was looking for a photo of the rows on rows of abandoned trailers that FEMA brought into New Orleans after Katrina, but all I got with Google was an abandoned house post-Rita. Just got a Ninja from the Reverend for the audio. Spıke ¬  20:47 10-Feb-10

Happy 3 years!

The first one to wish it to you. Am I awesome or what?—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 09:24, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! Happy 29 days to you! -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 21:35, Feb. 13, 2010

Heh, well I have my first month coming on soon. So, that's cool or something.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 00:58, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Tiger Woods kicks off Contrition Tour

This one's for you! An 18-hole course of hypocrisy and insincerity. Spıke ¬  16:28 19-Feb-10

If you accept the challenge, don't forget:

• Musing about Buddhist concepts of Stoicism and frugality from the deck of the yacht Privacy
• Stone-faced businessmen surrounding him, hoping this is all it will take to repair their lucrative franchise. Spıke ¬  16:41 19-Feb-10

Wow, thanks! I'd love to write this article, but my weekend is absolutely swamped. You can go ahead and take this one. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 19:19, Feb. 20, 2010

By the way, I did see that Tiger Woods apology. His phoniness made it painful to watch. I had the exact same thoughts when he mentioned Buddhist philosophy. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 19:22, Feb. 20, 2010

Romartus went first--unfortunately making the focus of his article the fact that Woods's first name resembles a kiddie cartoon character. I've now taken a shot, taking advantage of Uncyclopedia's proud tradition of allowing multiple, incompatible views of the same reality. Spıke ¬  13:21 21-Feb-10

Thanks, ya vote appreciated

Ya know, ya vote gave me a good push to go to dat front page yas guys control, and when I was dere da wonders I saw! tell ya dat. An' I saw how ya put dat no vote guy in his place, he's lucky da guys or myself didn't find him before ya did, no tellin' when he'd get home to cry ta his mamma then, caphice? Let me tell ya a quick story and den I'm outta here. My own fadda, bless his soul in hell, he used ta teach me ta say some prayers before goin' to sleep. got me dere better than countin' sheep. So I was prayin' one night and a bird flew in da window, a sparrow or some such, and landed on my bed. Next thing I looked it was gone, thought it was da fuckin' holy ghost or somephin before my dad reminded me dat I'd left a bunch of my seeds I was usin' ta stuff my sister's doll to make it look pregnant all over the bedsheet, and da fuckin' bird just came in ta steal some. Last time I prayed, tell ya dat. Fadda Murphy, dictated to and transcribed on fancy Vatican parchment by his lackey secretary Al de'chain, tell ya dat

Thanks!

Matfen thanks you for your vote! His article could not have been featured without you...

--Matfen 11:38, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

I helped!

That one article I pee'd on became a featured HowTo!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 02:22, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

A toast to good pees. (You'll notice this champagne tastes a little salty.) -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 02:57, Mar. 16, 2010

Poop throwing monkeys reach out their paws

The plight, or journey as it may, of the Poop throwing monkeys continues as they seek support of the few and the proud at Votes for Good. Many high tree limbs to you and yours, Al de'chain 1:48 19 3 mmx

UnNews:RecentNews

You? WTF? That wasn't humor! Spıke ¬ 10:08 20-Mar-10

I thought it was a good parody of the Rick Roll meme. The funny thing is, at Wikinews they're arguing that the story "isn't news"! -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 15:33, Mar. 20, 2010

I moved to joke to here, since it's a more appropriate place. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 15:37, Mar. 20, 2010

Yes, but it's not an appropriate thing. If you want to do an UnNews, you have to write a funny UnNews, not just write a funny headline and point to someone else's work. I see that got taken care of today. Your opinion piece, on the other hand, is excellent. Spıke ¬ 02:19 21-Mar-10

It was supposed to be an unconventional gag. You might not be familiar with Rickrolling. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 03:11, Mar. 21, 2010

Premature burial

Hi. Have you gotten a pee review of burial? Please nom it for VFH if you have, I'm edgy to vote for it (maybe because it happened to me, and it wasn't fun, take my word for it! Damn quick talking undertakers got me to sign a contract and next thing I know, buried!). Bury them once, that's my new motto. Aleister in Chains 20:49 20 3 mmx

I pee reviewed that, and technically, it was reviewed once before I did.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 21:14, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

thx

thx for feed back. im just really new here so... it was a learning exPEEriance

• smirks at bad pun

Ynis 21:12, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Poop throwing monkeys

Yay, poop throwing monkeys. No problem at all on VFG, I put the page up there so it will have been everywhere it could (check out its talk page). If it got 7 votes it would have been "Good", but eye of the beholder and all that. I'm just glad to whore it around so VFG gets more exposure, that's a great page and a depository of some really good articles which made "Good", some really funny stuff in that list. Al en'chain 21:14 22 3 mmx

No problem. I think VFG has potential. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 21:16, Mar. 22, 2010

Ah, maybe the something extra has been added. Mn-z has written a companion piece to PTM, and it is linked at the bottom of the article, which adds value to the Poop throwing monkeys page. Also a new link has been added on one of the sounds on the page. And, the categories, a story in itself! The monkeys have asked me to appeal to your better angels (they've thrown poop at my better angels, and chased them all to hell). Al in Chains 12:48 26 3 mmx

I Peed On Your Article, The Smell Won't Go Away For A While

Here. You did vote for my article on VFH, so I owe you a little. --M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 02:16, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

I just noticed..

You're not on Order of Uncyclopedia. You should be a CUN, because you have a featured image. (And technically a featured article by now, I think)—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 02:50, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you

Here is a painting left over from the garage sale. Please trade it for sex. Your vote was appreciated, thank you. Al en'chain 23:11 28 3 mmx

Thanks for your vote on In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, appreciated. Three of us got credit for it (PF4Eva and Funnybony) so I won't write anything funny here, just thanks. ---And congrats on your fine Premature Burial feature, now the whole world will see it and fear their own premature burials. Yay. Al in Chains 18:34 25 3 mmx

Congrats!

Great job on the feature. Isn't it great to see your writing on the front page? (spoiler: it is) Anyway, congrats again! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 23:21, Mar 28 2010

UnNews:Obama to America: "April Fools!"

Your article, which in the Chief's absence I made the feature story, has an illustration (suggesting the mutilation and death of the President) that is at least tasteless, and more tasteless than funny. (On the UnNews Front Page, I went with what you used in {{RecentUnNews}}.) Would you care to swap in something else? Spıke ¬ 11:02 1-Apr-10

I would never do something so disgusting as that. Are you refering to the "Why so Socialist?" picture? That's him as the Batman character the Joker! It's from the recent movie The Dark Night, in which the Joker's catchphrase is "Why so serious?" See here. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 11:21, Apr. 1, 2010

Very well.... Spıke ¬ 11:28 1-Apr-10

Gay Pubs

Noel Coward would like to buy you a pint

'Ello, Noel Coward 'ere. You voted for my article on gay pubs in VFH, and in my estimation
that means I owe yer a pint.
You may be wonderin' why I ain't buyin' yer some naff cocktail wiv a funny name - troof is, I can't stand the
poxy fings. You may also be wonderin' why I'm talkin' like this - well my son, I'll tell yer. I just put that posh-nosh
gayboy stuff on fer the public, yer see. A man's gotta make a living.
Nah, let's get dahn the boozer and get pissed.

From "Big" Noel Coward.

---

Award from UN:REQ

This user created Candlejack, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

Wow...

This young babe asked me to deliver her here for you hard (earned) enjoyment. Thanks for your vote on Sideboob, appreciated. Al sand chains

My crew and I thank you for your vote to get Giant Jew Band hoisted onto the front page. We want to come play at your house, on your lawn, for free except we'll put a hat out so your neighbors can donate. Word. Al des chain 21 4

It took you three years to get one feature. Then, you got another one after less than a month.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 20:44, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Rumor has it the Mordillo house actually used my features to mark the beginning and end of Passover. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 20:54, Apr. 9, 2010

Check out the Obama stories' talk page, at my latest comment to UnLaw. Hee hee hee. Al des chains 20:29 25 4

XD -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 22:34, Apr. 25, 2010