Code

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A code is a sophisticated security device that aims to protect property or information by making it impossible for anyone lacking the "key" to the code to access the material. Codes are used by individuals, companies, and federal agencies alike to safeguard their most prized possessions and data.

To understand all code, including the following: 1001010011010121101, A+, A++, A# .NET, ABC, ActionScript, Alphabet, Assembly, Binary, C#, C++, ColdFusion, CSS, Delfi, Delphi, "EASY", Gibberish, Google, Hex, HTML, Internet, Java, JavaScript, Lynx, Numbers, Pascal, Pawn, PEARL, PHP, Porn, Python, Pokemon Ruby, Techno, XHTML, XML and many more (duh).

To understand these languages, all you need to know is this:

010110010 110111101 000001100
110101001 001110111 100011011
001001100 101001000 110110111
000110000 100100000 101100110
011100100 110010101 011101010
100001011 011000010 111001100
000000110 000101110 010011001
010110111 000100111 011101000

Congratulations! You are now ready to write code for Microsoft.

Riddle Code[edit | edit source]

Codes can take many forms, but a typical code relies on some sort of wordplay. An example of this is the Riddle Code: in order to access material a person must give the correct answer to a riddle. Popular riddle codes include "How many animals did Moses take on the Ark?" and "A pirate comes into a bar with a ship's wheel in his pants. What does he say?" also, "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck was Chuck Norris?"

Cipher[edit | edit source]

Another type of code is the Cipher, in which a text message is garbled according to some sort of pattern. Only by ascertaining the pattern can one unscramble the message. The most popular cipher, which was used by the United States government for nearly two hundred years, is the A=1 cipher, whereby each letter of the alphabet is assigned to a number; hence A=1, B=2, et cetera. This code was finally cracked in AIGB, an event that is generally regarded as the downfall of Richard Nixon.

A cipher that is still in use today is Pig Latin, an immensely complex and arcane code that has roots in the ancient Roman world. Expert code breakers have expressed certainty that there is a way to crack the code, but the method of redistribution of letters is so complex and seemingly random that no discernible pattern has ever been found. An example of Pig Latinised text, found inscribed on one of the daggers that killed Julius Caesar:

Nordfay

What does it mean? No one can say for sure.

Konami Code[edit | edit source]

A final mysterious code, the Konami Code, is a tightly guarded Japanese military secret. There are rumours that, when uploaded onto a jet fighter's computer system, the code bestows an extra life upon the pilot of the ship. Japan's possession of this code is the primary reason the country has been so dominant in all six World Wars.

Khmer[edit | edit source]

ថ្ដថុដហុហដុហុឹហដុសហាសិនដដនសនាិសនិនថិនិសនដិនដុនរុងនដុិនាស្នដស្នចិ្នសថុវុនដសចុវថសិន្កខនច្។​និ្ដនិនោមថិនម!!!!្នច្ន្នដ្ន​្សន្សនិដនចិ្នវ្ិនដថ្កសដ្​ច្ន្ន​ដហបដនថ្ចមវ្ដ​ថនដ្ិនស​ស្ដម​!

Quantum cryptography[edit | edit source]

Quantum cryptography is a method of encrypting information that results in the code being theoretically impossible for anyone else to crack. The method is quite complicated, and the American government has tried their best to prevent it from reaching the public, but nevertheless Uncyclopedia has access to the process. Here's how to encode information using quantum cryptography:

  1. Translate into l33t.
  2. Convert to binary.
  3. Translate out of l33t.
  4. Translate into german.
  5. Translate into chinese.
  6. Convert to binary.
  7. Remove every second digit and add them all to the end in the opposite order.
  8. Convert out of binary.
  9. Translate into l33t.
  10. Translate into russian.
  11. Remove every third digit and add them all to the beginning in the opposite order.
  12. Convert to hexadecimal.
  13. Translate into l33t.
  14. Change all the |s except the last one to Bs.
  15. Change all the even-numbered Bs to 7s.
  16. Convert all non-hexadecimal digits to binary.
  17. Convert out of hexadecimal.
  18. Copy it to an Uncyclopedia edit page, add an Oscar Wilde quote, save the page and copy the result.
  19. Translate into jive.
  20. Add 2 to all its numerical digits (8s convert to 0s and 9s to 1s).
  21. Convert all paired-up hexadecimal digits out of hexadecimal.
  22. Remove all the spaces, 6s, Js and /s and put them at both ends in the opposite order.
  23. Translate out of l33t.
  24. Convert from .bmp format to .jpg format.
  25. Translate into l33t.
  26. Change all the 3s to |s and vice versa.
  27. Convert to binary.
  28. Take the binary string formed by light shining through vertical slits arranged according to the binary code from step 27.
  29. Convert out of binary.
  30. Translate into french.
  31. Translate out of jive.
  32. Translate into l33t.
  33. Convert to Hexatridecimal

Through this 33-step process, one can encrypt any string of information into a form which it is impossible, as dictated by the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, to decode. However, there is one problem with quantum cryptography which prevents it from being used to protect computer systems and top-secret military information.

Unfortunately, this problem was encrypted by Quantum Cryptography, and no-one has been able to decipher it yet.

Technically of all the most difficult code the 1 186 921. is the worst. Once cracked it generally means. Karin. I win. end of.

Encryption[edit | edit source]