Reverse racism

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“Reverse racism, racism only backwards.”

~ Captain Obvious on Reverse Racism

“We hate you!”

~ Reverse Racists in unison

“You hate me?”

~ Clueless victim of Reverse Racism

Reverse racism is just like racism, but in reverse. That is, instead of one person hating an entire race, an entire race hates one person. It was popularized during the time of Christ, when Christ was hated by those Romans. In circles of Reverse Racists they refer to it simply as R&R. This may be related to the pleasure Reverse Racists get from their duty. In some groups of Reverse Racists the term rest and relaxation is synonymous with the act of racing reversely.

History of R&R[edit | edit source]

In India[edit | edit source]

The red is the route Columbus actually took, the blue is his intended route.

With a bag full of diseases, an incompetent Spaniard set sail East from Spain to find a land route for spices from the Orient and find a quick sea route to get fast food faster from America. He also tried to find the square route of two, but he was not a good mathematician.

In the year 1492 A.D. Christopher Columbus discovered India. Thinking he was in America he called the natives "American Indians" and sometimes he called one or two "Native Americans", but these were the ones he disliked most. After a week or two, Columbus ran out of his diseases to hand to the kids of India. Little did he know the the waters of the Ganges (which Indians use to brush their teeth) had certain heeling powers. Without an easy way to kill the Indians, Columbus decided, because he was a decider, that him and his men should go on a killing spree. Unsuccessful because his weapons were not advanced enough for Sanskrit knowing Indians, Columbus was seen as an annoyance to the entire sub-continent.

Columbus and his men resorted to just begging for the 12 original herbs and spices. Since he was already seen as an annoyance, this was the straw the broke the leg of the table. The Indians began to riot in both the Indus and the Brahmaputra rivers. This was the time before peaceful demonstrations, pioneered by Martin Luther. The government of India, the first of its kind, was forced by its citizens to lock Columbus in a cage. In this confinement Columbus was spit on and ridiculed and then sent to America, which was his initial destination.

The Indian people never felt better after they got rid of Christopher Columbus. Even though he was a nuisance, he did bring the not really organized people of India together to work for one cause. This unity is what lead the Indians to invent numbers.

In The Middle East[edit | edit source]

Nearly 1500(MD in Roman Numerals) years after the events in India, the unifying activity of Reverse Racism was catching on in the Middle East. At this time a special little boy was born on a farm, the man giving birth to this child was Jesus.

"Wait, you're a guy?" the doctor in the delivery room was shocked and quickly informed the Roman scouts near by. They quickly rushed to Rome, or where ever to tell their leader Pontius Pilate to see if he thought it was cool that a guy was giving birth. Needless to say he was not pleased. The Jews always wanting to be popular, simply followed whatever Pontius said.

Being hated by both the Romans and the Jews, Jesus was the first person and deity to be a victim of Reverse Multi-racism. He was truly a pioneer.

Jesus, being the cool guy that he was, didn't want to hurt anyone (even though he had awesome powers).So, he let the Romans capture him. While Jesus did frame his friend in the process, it was only to make it seem plausible that he got caught, and did not just hand himself over.

Jesus then was put into a parade, something that over time has become something enjoyable, but back then they were torture. The different people from the same race threw rocks at Jesus. The people began to work together to throw large rocks at Jesus. Even though everybody from those two races hated Jesus, Jesus knew that the hate towards him generated love and peace between those two races. Also, Jesus knew that the Jews had it coming in about 1900 years.

In America[edit | edit source]

A touching tale about a family that comes to America and become reverse racist against a black man with AIDS

Perhaps the best reverse racists in history were the Americans. Many people immigrate to America, and they emigrate from many countries as well. People of the same race would usually live in the same neighborhood, this was all well and good until someone of a different race moved in. The African neighborhood hated the new Korean guy in the 'hood, the Mexicans hated the Italian who open a pizzeria on the block. The most common case was the Black man with AIDS moving to the Irish neighborhood.

The first Black man with AIDS to move to an Irish neighborhood happen in 1806, and since then it has been a trend continuing to this day. It became so popular the in the 1950's a film was made about it entitled "In America".

Another common American form of reverse racism is hating the celebrity. Since American culture revolves around the lives of famous people it is easy for Americans to watch them make mistakes. One example of this is the Kramer case.

Popular Events of Reverse Racism[edit | edit source]

Victims of R&R[edit | edit source]

The most popular victim of Reverse Racism is Kramer from Seinfeld, and for no good reason. Another, less famous, victim of Reverse Racism was Jesus as mentioned above.

Reverse Racists( in order of appearance)[edit | edit source]