Dragon Age: Origins
Dragon Age: Origins is a gay sex simulator developed by HomoWare and released for Microsoft Windows, Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. It has been called the spiritual successor to the acclaimed Baldur's Backgate series.
The story follows the last of an ancient militia, the Gay Wardens, as they travel the world of Ferelden trying to unite the various races against both a dark evil and a repressive social structure.
Ideas for the game arose after a question-and-answer session on another HomoWare game, the highly successful Mass Effect. The developers found that the most common question they faced from fans of the game was: "how do you access the lesbian scene?"
At first the team was annoyed, and lead programmer Buster Hymen complained on his blog: "I can't believe these fans! After all the blood, sweat and tears we put into that story, all those nights we stayed up to work on models and code, all that stupid technobabble I had to write... and all they care about the bit where you kiss a fucking blue woman! Get a life you nerds! Have you never seen a lesbian before? Do you even have a computer?"
Ultimately however, HomoWare realised the sexploitative potential of the role-playing genre. They reasoned that if one barely titillating display of homosexuality can garner so much publicity, imagine what they could do with a steamy, no-holds-barred anal scene between a man and an elf. Or a threesome of dwarven women (complete with beards). It was a goldmine of good ideas. Hence, HomoWare began developing Dragon Age: Origins, the first Dungeons & Dragons-style sex simulator.
The aim of Dragon Age: Origins is to bed as many people as possible. Players can accomplish this by continuously selecting the correct dialogue options, until your companions approve enough to allow you into their tent. Much like real life courting, this can take 10+ hours to achieve. The seduction process can be accelerated by simply showering your allies with gifts, although the developers do warn that any sex you receive through such shallow actions will be ultimately ungratifying. There is a large pool of recruitable and bangable characters spread across Ferelden, and as a Gay Warden it is your sacred duty to bring them together under one banner.
There is also the task of vanquishing an invading demonic army, however this is really just an optional sidequest for you to do in between nailing other party members.
Story & Characters
All aspects of the story were praised by the gaming press, although curiously very few of them elaborated on what it was they liked about it. Most simply mentioned it as an afterthought after praising the character design, dialogue and cut-scenes. Fans were less ambiguous, indicating that they felt the story just got in the way of their obsessive pursuit for sex.
There are many NPCs available to the player.
|Image||Name||Character class||More info|
|Morrigan||Heterosexual (but can shapeshift into a gay)||Morrigan is a shapeshifter and is able to transform into various animals, including tits, peckers and bullocks to name a few. For most of the game she takes the form of a busty goth chick, notable for her almost complete lack of clothing. Due to bizarre censorship laws she actually wears more clothes during sex than at any other time during the game.|
|Alistair||Heterosexual (on the cusp)||Alistair belongs to an order of knights who specialise in capturing evil mages and living a life of chastity. This immediately puts him in opposition of Morrigan, who is not only an evil mage but also a total ho. It transpires that Alistair is the heir to the throne, meaning that by romancing him, players can transcend their status as Queen beyond the figurative.|
|Leliana||Bisexual||The bard Leliana uses her beautiful singing voice to motivate the party and raise their morale. However, players will find they are much more motivated by the noises she makes at night. She is one of the most sought-after lays due to her pure, virginal nature. The developers hinted at this by giving her a name which is also a command to have sex with her.|
|Sten||Probable homosexual||Sten's people, the Qunari, are based on early Nordic warriors. He is stoic and practical, and lives by a strict code of honour. Unsurprisingly, Sten is not a romance option in the game, but if players are lucky he might enter their tent at night and seduce them Viking style.|
|Zevran||Pansexual||Zevran the Elf is an assassin who is hired to kill the player but ends up falling in love with them instead (as tends to happen). He is charming, muscular, well-groomed and European. Or to put it simply: homosexual.|
|Wynne||Bisexual (in her younger days)||Wynne is an elderly sorceress who specialises in healing spells and generally being motherly. Her old age means she is not a popular romance option. However, players who do manage to get her naked will be relieved to find the developers lazily used the same standard model for all the female characters, meaning Wynne is as supple and perky as the rest of them.|
The strategy arises from figuring out what makes them tick so ultimately they will give it up. This isn't as simple as it sounds however, as what works for one character may not work for another. Players can usually find success by exaggerating their feelings for their companions and agreeing with their bizarre opinions. To anyone who's had sex in real life this will be familiar territory.
Dragon Age: Origins was released to generally favourable reviews from critics, and was one of the strongest sellers over the Hanukkah period. Craven Moorhead of GameZone rated it 9.9/10, saying: "Never has a game made my hands so calloused. You know... from pressing the buttons." GameSpot reviewer Moe Lester made similar sentiments, claiming: "I couldn't put it down... the game, I mean."
The game's relaxed approach to homosexuality has caused much controversy in the press. Conservative MP Gabe Asher was among the most disparaging, stating: "Having played the game on my own and in my room - for several hours - I can say with some confidence that it is thoroughly reprehensible."
The Daily Mail's review was also critical, and voiced intense fears of the copycat crimes the game could potentially inspire. Fans of the game were quick to defend it however, and one letter written in response pointed out that: "Super Mario never inspired anyone to go round jumping on people's heads, why would Dragon Age encourage people to have gay sex?" Another simply replied: "Would it be so terrible if it did?"
HomoWare have since tried to downplay the homoerotic aspects of the game, with CEO Benjamin Dover issuing the statement: "It's not all about gay sex you know, you can just cuddle if you want."