Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Inland Empire
Inland Empire[edit source]
This is about the region in SoCal, not (generally) the Lynch movie. If you know the region, great. If you don't, I hope you heed the article's gist and never bother.
Globaltourniquet - (was TPLN) 22:55, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
- I was so excited that this was the movie...but it isn't...and now I'm sad. --Guildensternenstein 02:29, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 7 | Pretty funny. Not great, but pretty funny. Some things I would improve, though.
For the important historical facts, instead of just writing "none," I would go on for a great deal of time on how there aren't any. Something along the lines of:
And then go on and on with that. I think this would fit the tone you've taken in a rest of the article a lot better. Also, I think a section about the Lynch film would be awesome. You could go on about how the film is "true to life," and how it explains Inland Empire and it's residents as they really are, because that would be hilarious. I think you should play on the "we want to be Hollywood!" thing just a bit more. Hammering home a joke a bit never hurts. Unless you hit yourself in the thumb. Or if your joke sucks. Anyway... Finally, either loose your one footnote, or add about a three or four more. If you're going to use something, you might as well make the most of it. It could also become a pretty funny running joke if done correctly, methinks. |
| Concept: | 8 | Giving various reasons why a real-life locations sucks ass is pretty funny, as well as surprisingly original. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7.5 | I really like the tone you take; I think it's one of this articles strongpoints. However, I'd like to see the respective sections expanded just a bit, as well as a section about the Lynch movie, because that would be awesome. |
| Images: | 5 | Ehh. The first picture is good and fitting, as is the traffic picture. The Inland Empire pic. is really small and out-of-place-looking, and should be included in a section about the films because that would be awesome and I said so.
You should also throw in a couple more images for good measure. One of Hollywood, and how it's the exact opposite of Inland Empire would be pretty funny. Perhaps you could juxtapose the two in the introduction or shortly thereafter. Furthermore, I think any mention of the Zodiac killer requires either A) his watch from which he derived his name or B) Jake Gyllenhaal. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6 | A bit below average, as I think this still needs some work. It has a lot of potential, though, so long as it's fleshed out a bit. |
| Final Score: | 33.5 | Could be a damn good article with some work. |
| Reviewer: | --Guildensternenstein 14:15, 6 March 2009 (UTC) | |