User:Nikau/Poop throwing monkeys

It remains unclear whether poop throwing monkeys are Old or New World Monkeys, as taxonomic differences are difficult to notice when you are being bombarded by shit.

Primates are an order of mammals. Monkeys are a sub-group of primates distinguished by their long tails, opposeable thumbs and a look of complete seriousness when scratching. Finally, Poop throwing monkeys are a sub-group of monkeys distinguished by their ability to throw poop towards the things a monkey, who throws poop, may wish to throw poop towards.

If you have successfully untwisted your tongue, that is good for you, because the matter is hotly debated.

Discussion is not so much centered on the process, as the poop generally moves in an arc from hand to target and the monkey typically remains a monkey throughout. Instead, the monkeys, their poop and the time it takes to go *splat* have formed the center of continued division over what exactly compels this behavior.

Observation has given rise to a number of theses, from "monkey see, monkey do" to the writings made by Freud in between removing lice from his beard.

Poop-throwing monkeys tend to have arms, unless they're monkey amputees with neurally-connected bionic arms, which would make aerial feces the last of the world's problems.

Monkey steals the peach.

The observation "never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room," is attributed to Winston Churchill, following Prime Minister Chamberlain's peace negotiations with a rhesus monkey and the monkey's a particularly accurate right arm.

The higher the monkey climbs, the more you see of its ass.

What two or more monkeys do in the privacy of their own habitat is their business and their business only.