User talk:Nachlader

I could archive this. But I don't care if you're interested in reading other people's talkpages for some moronic reason. Enjoy your laggy scrolling.

Welkum!

Hello, Nachlader, and welkom to Uncyclopedia! Pleez exkuuz my pore spelling, I'm only three and sumtimes haf diffikulty with this srort of thing. Thank yew for your kontribootions. I hope you lieke the place and deside to stay, but if yew don't liek it...the dore's rite over there...a litttltle more to the leftf...yeah. Anyway, heer ar a few gud links for noblets:

• The Begginners's Guyde
• How to be funny and not just stoopid

If you reed anythingn at all, make it the abuv too links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need sum help with sumthing, try theez:

• Abowt Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• Everthhing you ever watned to no, but wer afrayd to ask
• Help Pages - if yew kneed hlep with a specifik issew

i hop yew enjoy editing here and beingn an Uncyclopedian! Please sine yore name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or uze the "sign" buton () abuv the edit bocks. This will awtomatikally produse yore name and the date.

If yew need help, ask mee on my talk pag, or ask at the Dump. Agen, welcome! --THE 17:41, 18 July 2007 (UTC)

Pompey?

OHNOES....another Portsmouth fan. We thought we'd already met our quota with Codeine. :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

When I join stuff, the first thing I get is stick for being a Pompey fan. WHY!? Also, AK47 against Reading. Lulz --Nachlader 18:42, 14 October 2007 (UTC)

Reviews

Hi there Nachlader! First up: thanks for the enthusiastic review of Fish Puns! Nice to see you enjoyed it so much.

Can I just raise two points about reviews in general though?

Firstly - if there's a template on the review page saying it's under review by someone else, you may want to review something else. The template tends to mean someone else is already working on a review, and while of course you're still welcome to review it as well, while there are so many more articles waiting to be reviewed, it may be more helpful to pick another one and not waste someone's time.

Secondly - I keep an eye on reviews in general, and I'd like to say thanks for pitching in and helping out - nothing we like more than another user happy to help others with their articles. New reviewers are always welcome. I should mention, though, that as well as mentioning what you think of an article, you might want to add a few more comments on how to improve it. Some of the reviews you've done so far give a good impression of your opinion of the article, which is cool, but very little in the way if ideas for improving it - the Castlevania one being a good case in point. People often appreciate a few suggestions, as an article appearing on the review queue tends to indicate they're running out of ideas and think it's done.

This is not to say you've done a bad job - you're doing a fine job, thanks and please continue! It's just to try and help you help other people more effectively. Hope you take it as such.

Oh, and have a look at PEEING as well, if you want to stick around. --UU - natter 09:57, Oct 20

I will do such things in future! I realise I should've paid attention to offering advice on how to improve the article (After all, Uncyclopedia won't improve with scalding reviews and no suggestions). However, I'm only too happy to help out, I'm interested in reviewing things for a living anyway! --Nachlader~ 13:11, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

Nice one, cheers! Also, have a cookie. --UU - natter 13:18, Oct 20

UU has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Join the Revolution, Comrade!

YOU HAVE BEEN INVITED TO REGISTER FOR THE WORKERS' PARTY!

REGISTER TODAY!

Dear Nachlader

Workers' Party Member Necropaxx has invited you to join the Workers' Party and help the revolution be the best it can be! Without many members being of helping the site, we cannot be of big helpings to site and users, such as the have of unfree that are of need of negotiations with admins for unbanning and such. We are also of giving free hats to all members, amnesty coverage, healthcare, and if you makeway into Inner Party, you get face on Valjuta. Valjuta allow purchasing of great products on Uncyclopedia from the Worker's Party and the Uncyc Store, and you are of getting them when you are joining. You can even deposit Valjuta for Yoinxx and help party drive Valjuta inflation down so that you can buy more.

Stop rebellion. Help the newcomers. Fix the site. Negotiate your Uncyclopedia friends. Buy stuff. Kill the brotherhood. Don't forget Miss Unsoc!

WRITERS' OF UNCYCLOPEDIA, UNITE! PLEASE JOIN UNSOC TODAY!

Sincerely,

Necropaxx

Hey, I saw that you are doing a good job reviewing, and I liked Golf War, so I think that you would be good for UNSOC. Check it out! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 16:26, Oct 22

Sounds like a great idea! I will request registration imminently! (And thanks for your vote, comrade!) --Nachlader 17:00, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

Sorry for the (very) late acceptance, but you're in! 97.93.37.182

Your review

Well, most of it is contributed by User:Bonaparte69, so that's why it ended up laced with swearing (I stole it from different articles that have that), anti-Japanese sentiments and "Bush is a retard" lines. Will you improve it? For the sake of my other spare articles. | King Joseph | Talk | 06:53, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

I will give it a thought. To be honest though, as was the essence of the review, it's not a concept I'd think would work in any way. Still, there are always random articles then and there. It just has to be handled well, no random animosity, heffalumps of images, piles of templates, and the like. But as I said, I'll think about how it could possibly be improved. Meanwhile, the point of calling for a review on your part would be to garner suggestions and advice from someone else, of which I understand I wasn't fruitful in (but with heavy reason), and then improve the article yourself before someone else. However, that just may be a needless technicality. Don't just offer it to others, see what you can come up with as well. --Nachlader 04:46, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

And to add more problems, the HTBFANJS guidelines say put lots of images. And I wanted it to be funny with lots of images. Does it work that way? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Giratina CUN|IC Kill | 08:38, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

P.S. Improve my UTA article please!

The HTBFANJS guide, whilst brilliantly essential for the education of new contributers, still carries over the joke theme of Uncyclopedia at some parts (for example, the endless repeatition of the redundancy humour format, as well as the format of being repeatitive, yet funny). It suggests the use of a lot of images, just to exemplify on the necessity of using at least three images in a good-length article. The guide isn't to be taken completely seriously after all. I don't prefer to use the reversal joke format as often as it suggests, for example. I'm currently helping someone else with a rewrite, trying to work on an article of my own stem, as well as concentrating on PEE. It would be cool if the author, IE. you could see what you could do yourself before asking for help. Even so, I'm not really up for contributing to UTA. Sorry. --Nachlader 10:58, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

A little annoyed here

With the way you worded your against vote on the Irish thingy. Don't have anything against the actual against vote, but I'd assume that when someone goes all around Ireland, taking pictures specifically for an article, and put loads of effort of it, the least you can do is word your against vote in a bit more of a friendly manner. As fas as I'm concerned (and that's with any article not just mine) there is no such thing as "not VFH worthy", we are all worthy writers. Thers is - I didn't think it was funny, which more than a legitimate claim. I asked for a for or against vote, not a pee review on VFH. I just hope that next time you vote for someone's articles you'll keep in mind that people around put genuine effort in what they create. There, my two bloody cents.~ 11:21, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

I appreciate the work you put into the Irish Atlas article and I've enjoyed the articles you have started in the past. The fact that you created an article just from a holiday in Ireland is commendable and shows how easy-going you are with producing fresh concepts from your surroundings, and above all, I liked the article, it did make me laugh. I do agree that we are all worthy writers, hence why the Uncyclopedia project (and everything else Wikia related, of course) attracts me with it's "everybody can edit" pseudo-motto. However, as confident I am around people like vandalisers getting into a Wikia, I am more than certain about what I think is VFH material in it's current state. That's not to say I would abandon all hope of an article ever acheiving such a lofty status. I know that things, whatever it is, a Uncyclopedia artcle, a corrupt African nation, a failed GCSE student, an alcoholic, ANYTHING, can still improve. If I am asked what is VFH worthy or not, and there is the chance of offering my own opinion, I won't miss the chance if I have something to say. I understand why you think it's harsh, but I had a lot to say about my vote. Not to sound like a snotty twat, I wouldn't call it a "pee review", it didn't even have any helpful suggestions, which would've been against PEE Guidelines. Again, I appreciate the effort you put into the article, but to be (brutally) honest I don't see why I need to care about that sort of thing, it's all the same to me. AAAAAA seems effortless, yet I find it funnier than some articles that shows how much the author was thinking about the concept, even if they did take pictures of half an entire nation for it. I am very sorry you feel agonised towards my actions, but that's how one person (ie. me) thinks. Other opinions are available, it just depends on who you think will give a thorough response.

Meanwhile, I am looking forward to your next project. --Nachlader 22:33, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

Thanks!

Reindeer thanks you for voting! Personnally I don't know what that guy was so worked up about. I just wanted to correct his mistake...

Also thanks for the review! :D SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:11 17 November 2008

No problem! The article was a pleasure to read! --Nachlader 13:57, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the review!

Hey, just had to say thanks for the review on my article, How to Be Emo :). I have to confess though, I just left the images that were there from before. I was actually thinking about removing the Picasso one, but it seemed like someone had put a lot of time into it so I left it there. (Or is it an original?! I don't know...)

Yeah, anyway, it was a good review and I'll try to put in your suggestions when I can (be bothered). Oh, and I put in a vote for you in Reviewer of the Month or whatever it's called.

Thanks again! --Sakrotac 20:46, 23 November 2008 (UTC)

Thank you for the pleasant read (as well as the vote!). Reviewing it (and maintaining laziness towards actual contributions) is the least I can do! Good job you left the images in then, the Picasso image (probably was an original, everyone was jolly back then) is only found in this article (unless it has another name in Uncyclopedia), but there is no hint to whether it was created by the person who uploaded it. If not, then really the antagonism of someone removing the image from anything would be much amiss, as it wasn't even produced by the uploader in the first place. The image doesn't deserve total removal however, I should think, as it has relevance towards... something I guess. Anyway, I wish you luck with any future rewrites on the article and if you should want my help, I'll see what I can do! --Nachlader 11:01, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

Rejoice, Nachlader! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

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I'll add to this: thanks for the feedback on Heat Magazine. I knew it was missing something, but needed some thoughts on what I was doing wrong. I am in your debt for at least the next 17 hours. -- Guybles _CUN 13:52, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

Only too happy to help out and thank you for the award! Good luck with the article and future projects. --Nachlader 15:58, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

I'm very Sorry...

that I had forgotton about your article:( I've had a hectic few weeks, I think UU or one of the other reviewers will sort it out for you:)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:23, 29 November 2008 (UTC)

That's understandable. Thanks for your time anyway! --Nachlader 09:34, 29 November 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for reviewing

Thanks for reviewing this. Even though you gave it a lower mark, it was a much better review than the first one. I think opinion could be fairly split on whether or not the article is any good because of how it is written. I've got a few positive comments and a few bad reviews. So yeah I don't know how it'll go. I capitalised unnecessarily where something was important because I imagined an eight-year-old might do the same. It meant I didn't have to introduce terrible gimmicks like wrong spellings, or backwards Es? Lame. Edit: Also, the humour was mostly one-liners because I thought an eight-year-old would write down things as they came to mind. I'm italicising I Spy now, but I'm not changing much else as it's on VFH. Thanks again. -- IronLung 05:47, 3 December 2008 (UTC)

Good Review

Cheers for the review, did better than I thought it would! Incidentally, the Hitler lark in there is actually referring to the fact that Nuneaton was bombed in the war, and that the Camp Hill suburb elected the BNP, rather than anything else, although to those not in the know about the town, I can see why it comes accross as overused crap. Work shall be done on it, and I will post it for re-review, once it is complete. I think the main weakness is the fact that it is very much local humour, so may not make a lot of sense to those who aren't familiar with the town. Nice one! Dogshead 23:30, 3 December 2008 (UTC)

Can't think

I can't think of anything that isn't overused. There are too many things here that is already being used. As a person with Autism, I couldn't think of any funny articles for me to create. Otherwise, I'll be going to Wikipedia, never to go to Uncyc again. Can you help me? I don't know what the word "ponder" means! |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Giratina CUN|IC Kill | 05:10, 8 December 2008 (UTC)

Forgive me, I did not know you were autistic. I'm hearing impaired myself, so I've worked with some people with autism at my school. Anyway, I will help you any way I can. I am always willing to listen to any calls for help, but I can't totally garuantee any useful responses. In any case, I often find myself giving an idea plenty of time to think about it before executing the idea. Even now, I have a few ideas, but some factors, work and laziness mostly, force me to give those ideas some thinking through first. As time passes, I'll develop a more natural understanding of the topic, I'd even learn a thing or two. When I was in the process of developing Golf War, I found out a few things about the conflict in Iraq I never knew before. And when I wrote the article, I forced myself to read up about golf, a sport I knew nothing about. And now the aforementioned article somehow ended up on VFH. A good article requires research, concentration and professionalism within the structure. God is in the detail. Anyway, in the future, whenever you've struck gold on a new article idea and you're looking for help before you starting thinking about it, you can always ask me for some input, what areas of the subject could be parodied, what humour tools could be used, any image ideas, anything, and I'll see what I can do. But I must underline th fact that I can't be relied on all the time. Incidently, "ponder" just means "thinking". --Nachlader 15:43, 8 December 2008 (UTC)

Quarter Century up!

Golden Urinal

You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depth pee reviews. Thanks for the hard work.
Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing – there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit!

---

This is much merited. Use it with pride - but don't let it stop the flow! --UU - natter 12:54, Dec 8

Many thanks!

Whether or not it was allowed, it was a great review and I appreciate it. It doesn't look like I'm going to be disqualified, since the rules are not specific about getting reviews, but whatever. Fuck Uncyc drama. Thanks again. sirsysrq @ 15:21 Dec 9 --Nachlader 18:44, 20 December 2008 (UTC)== Thanks But Go Ahead== Thanks a lot for reading the article. Your comments have been valuable to me. But I want you to go ahead and give it points. You don't need to have a knowledge of cricket for it. Basically the article deals with the rivarly and not so much with the cricket. Can a non-cricket fan laugh at the article? Is the humour( wherever it exists ) is laughable or sounds bit offending ? Believe me your review would be required as the this website has large non-cricket viewers. --Avantika sharma17 07:42, 13 December 2008 (UTC)

Alright, dude. Expect a review tomorrow. --Nachlader 20:18, 14 December 2008 (UTC)

Definately not a "Dude"! Avantika. Thank You so much.

Listen Mister review the article when you are free. Next year ,2010 whenever! I don't know why I am insisting but my intinct tells me to.Alright. Don't disappoint again.

I am very sorry I cannot review your article at this time. When I do get the chance, I will try and complete the review.

Congrats!

...On your first featured article! "You have taken your first step into a larger world." 97.93.37.182

I don't understand why I feel so inclined to say: thank you. --Nachlader 20:12, 15 December 2008 (UTC)

Happy Hanukkah

PARTY LIKE IT'S 5769

if you're not Jewish, party anyway

Happy Hanukkah from Rabbi Techno
NOW START DRINKING

---

Happy Holidays from all of us at SysRq Waste Disposal and Grinder Co.

Happy Giftmas. ~Sissie

sirsysrq @ 23:46 Dec 21

Tis' The Season

PARTY LIKE IT'S SATURNALIA!

Io, Saturnalia!- Eat, Drink and treat your masters with disrespect!

Happy Hedonism from the Saturnalicius Princeps
NOW START DRINKING JAGERMEISTER WHILE WEARING UGLY SWEATERS AND SILLY HATS

---

During this season...

Yeah Happy/Merry whatever you believe/ride off to get presents from us at the Church of Assholes Who Make Fun of Churches of Assholes. Also, hi. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:02, 24 December 2008 (UTC)

A FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTOFUS!

	Happy Festivus, from The Led Balloon and Jerry Stiller. Put up your Festivus Pole, air your grievances, and prepare for the feats of strength, for festivus cannot continue until I am pinned! Oh, and merry Christmas if you're into that sort of thing.
	It's a Festivus miracle!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:48, Dec 24

MerryChristmas!

	Merry Christmas, dudes!
	Santa "Metallica" Claus and Necropaxx want to wish you a very merry Christmas, and to always rock around the Christmas tree.
	Don't forget the egg nog!

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 19:50, Dec 24

Here's Your Christmas Tree

Merry Christmas 2008 From Sawblade5

Here's a Potato Christmas Tree For You!
Caution the Grue protecting this tree!

---

----Pleb- Sawblade5 ^{( yell | FAQ | I did this )} 09:54, 25 December 2008 (UTC)

Thankies

Yeah, normally you only get thanks from winners, but I'm a chuffed runner-up, so here's thanks anyway: I was surprised and pleased to finish runner-up to Mordillo in UotY, and am extremely grateful for the votes. Thanks man. Now, you gonna write anything soon? --UU - natter 17:25, Feb 1

Totally my pleasure. For me, you were the Uncyclopedia of the Year anyway, since you have a gathering influence on the site. In the few areas I dabbled in (writing, reveiwing, UnBooks, VFH and each of the nominations I received), you were to be found in every one of them, either giving me complete encouragement and pointers, guidance and the lowdown, reinforcing or strengthening my resol... and so on. I believe there were several other users who can lay claim to such support from you, even in the last quarter of 2008. And yet you were still able to scrape out a few VFH articles yourself. If only there were a Uncyclopedian of the Last Quarter of 2008 award.

In answer to your question, I realise I haven't been to the site much since Golf War got featured (I thought it could make it in the top three of Dec, but oh well), either reviewing or writing in general. It has to be said that that my mind runs on a vidjagame-style bar of inspiration and care. All of a sudden, I can get keenly involved within the confines of literature. Maybe I'll be deeply interested in a book, or lost admist a stage of writing, be it stories or poems. Eventually, I'd discover that such intrigue was only exclusive, there is no inspiration left, or any care at all for the sequel to the book, or a continuation of my writing frivolities. It'll last a month, three if it happens to be special. Uncyclopedia was a special example, as I've known the site since early 2005. In the time onwards, I had some ideas, but never decided to register. Then, as you can tell, I wrote UnBooks:Hot Japanese Girls - Colourblind or Unable to Speak English? (more on this at 10) late in 2008. I got the bug and sauntered on, leaving more articles and even reviews in my wake.

And then, needless to say, 2009 arrived. My inspiration bar left devoid as any other drunk person on that New Year's Eve. I stopped going to Uncyclopedia, not even to read the latest stuff. I was actually only ever bothered to visit the site once every now and then rather than the more convenient day-today routine. I've already moved onto the next 'fad'; drawing. Manga to be precise, I'm still bent on improving my skill, which is why I'm stuck to drawing tsunderes and su-cools in school book margins. I'm even rememberising Hiragana and Katakana symbols (although, Kanji's a bitch). I even expect this fad to last longer since I've had the idea of living in Japan (in five years time, but I want to holiday there first) in my head for some time.

Even beside that, I've still got the "get involved in music" fad, further my interest in classical music and acquire more rock albums, learn how to play electric guitar, piano and the synthesiser... And then driving lessons, and then wonder how I can become a game producer and a filmaker... And an actor... And football... As well as writing novels and reviews for numerous pieces of media... Establish my ultimate political opinion, contend to nature's order and other weird stuff... Ach...

Creative excuses are defeated by an unfortunate reluctance. I still have to write an English essay on Wuthering Heights tomorrow too, and go to work. Anyway, IF I did find myself attracted to Uncyclopedia once again, these are the closest projects that bounce around in my head whenever Uncyc is mentioned:

• New article: Metaphor or Sayings or even Wisdom (whatever title is appropiate). Anyway, I am unsure if this has been done already, but basically this is a pun article (which right up your alley, down the back passage, until you get to the climax and you're there), using mostly sayings in such ways like "Don't put all your eggs in one basket, metaphors are to be used sparingly", there would be sections such as How to use metaphors, Mixed metaphors ("Anyway, if you can avoid doing this, there may a carrot at the end of the tunnel for you"). It'd need to involve football managers somehow ("The game's easier when you have the ball" -Le Magnifique, Kevin Keegan), and a lot of work in general. I can't immediately name as much sayings on the spot.
• Rewrite: UnBooks:Hot Japanese Girls - Colourblind or Unable to Speak English?. Note: You were confused by how he came to the colourblind conclusion. I wanted to create an alternative ending to the Engrish stereotype. Also, the Japanese word for "green" is, quite coincidently, "gurin". This will need to be explained of course.
• Rewrite: Retreat. Definately has potential, and the review it received seem ignorant of the fact that it was in progress and not finished, so it's suffered a bit on the wrong end of justice. Hard not to resist to talk about France here, but I am twisting the meaning here: "Retreat: A military tactic that evolved into the 100 metres running event".
• New article: UnBooks:The Diary of Anne Prank. Needs a better title. Anyway, this is another pun, as well as a sick joke, but nobody likes them more than I do. This would involve excerpts from a "diary" where Anne Prank is depicted as a Beano comic character, playing tricks on the Nazis at a concentration camp: tripping them up, impersonating the commandant to make the guards do silly things, turn the armoury of MP40 submachine guns into pea-shooters, foil an escape plan which was very, very close to succeeding, with much mirth and merriment on Anne Prank's behalf. It ends when she is grounded to the gas chambers. Needs more thought, I thought of this today actually.

I'm pretty sure there are a few more rewrites, as well as ideas that have slipped my mind.

Anyway, sorry to take up your time if you read this hole wall of text. Once again, it was my pleasure to vote for you as UotY. Until then. --Nachlader 21:15, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Wow, now that's what I call a response! If it helps, I go through cycles of writing, not writing, having no inspiration, wondering if I should leave the place for a while, then suddenly writing something that turns out OK - UnScripts:Average Cop and Bubble Wrap being cases in point. This is the kind of place you can dip in and out of if you feel like it - look at Cap'n Ben, for instance, almost disappeared for a while, then came back on the kind of hot streak most of us dream of - he's on a mission, it seems!

For what it's worth, I think you're a talented writer, and I'd like to see you make something of some of those ideas you mention, particularly the last one (and I like the title, but I am such a sucker for puns), although I love the metaphor one too (you've already mentioned one of my favourites, Stuart Pearce's carrot/tunnel classic). If you have other stuff to do, then cool - never let this place get in the way of what's really important, but if you find yourself in front of a PC with some time to kill, this is as good a place as any to kill it! --UU - natter 21:52, Feb 2

I'll try and focus on either of the new ideas then. Anne Prank might be more convenient if there were some wartime style drawings for children that show a girl laughing at some Nazi troops or something. Even if they were surrendering, I could come up with a caption to twist the image with. I don't actually know much about Anne Frank's life either (Dutch Jew writes a diary, gets caught, dies in camp. I don't know). The other idea is very hard, the only way for it to work would be if it has a constant onslaught of metaphors and sayings and whatnot. I suppose I could take the Wikipedia article on metaphors and use that as a base, replacing the words with metaphors. I'll come up with something either way. Meanwhile, if you can suggest anything, the help would be greatly appreciated! --Nachlader 18:53, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

Football War

Is there any way you could help with Football War? I'm not well versed with soccer. I found the article and smoothed out the language but it needs the touches that you've suggested on VFH that I can't deliver. Have at it!--    22:02, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

If I may say so myself, you've asked the right person, seeing as I'm responsible for Golf War. There are a few areas I can suggest right now, I may implement them myself, I don't know. I've had a bit of a break from Uncyc recently and I'm more interested in producing an article good enough for VFH, before I restart my hibernation trying to learn a foreign language or something. Anyway, I don't have long so I'll make a couple of comments:

• Images. Unusually for most articles, I can see a lot of image potential for this article: normal images, edited images, caption images and the like. Normal images would include the picture the article has at the top. There are millions of these found on the net (eg. [1] [2] [3]), I suppose the main tactic would be to find images that definately may not have been seen before (the first example I showed, I know a lot of people have seen that). Edited pictures needen't be that hard. I'd suggest taking an image of a cannon with a crew loading it, but the cannonballs are replaced with footballs. For captions, I could suggest using lines such as "The opposition have given him a free kick" or "Oh, his head's just gone off the post!" or suchlike.
• Content. A trifle unsure on this point. The article has provided a backdrop of the 'conflict' as well as several matches. An extra match could be added which ends in a draw after the two sides resort to trench warfare and end in a stalemate.

I'm not sure if me being a lazy bastard and leaving these notes will change anything, but unfortunately this is all I can offer. Gracias on restoring the article, it deserves the VFH hotspot. --Nachlader 18:35, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 12th February 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

February 12, 2009 • Issue 34 • Mainlining news direct to your talk page artery

Worrying influx of n00bs a threat to Uncyc's "worst" status By UU How can you resist my n00b power of cuteness? After the flow of n00bs slowed to a trickle at the tail end of 2008, 2009 has seen the site experiencing a veritable tidal wave of new editors, enthusiastically bounding around the site like wide-eyed puppies that have yet to meet Olipro, tramping mud into the carpet, and leaving half-eaten IPs on the floor of the Village Dump. Worse still, many of these new arrivals show early signs of being dangerously competent: writing funny articles; giving in-depth pee reviews; voting on stuff; helping folks out - generally making the kind of contributions that could, if the community is not careful, lead to the site losing its coveted "worst" status. Experienced editors queued up to condemn the invasion - "Very happy to see the influx in good new editors coming in, we've been devoid of that extra boost for far too long it seems" said RAHB, the bile seething from his every pore, while MrN spoke scathingly about "great additions to Uncyc". But is it too late? With competition for the NOTM award at its most fierce for months (4 noms and none of them Rcmurphy at the last count), it looks like it may be too late to reject this transfusion of new blood. Is there any hope for the long-term future of the proud traditions of the wiki under this relentless onslaught of new talent? A comment on Bullshit from MrN As a well known protagonist of the noble and honourable art of bullshitting I felt it my place to speak out regarding this most tricky of issues. Much has been said of late regarding the consistency, and texture of what we at Uncyc consider to be suitable for our beloved wiki. As you know, normal traditional (un-specified) crap we don't want, but there must always be room for more bullshit on Uncyclopedia. Some will no doubt consider my last comment to be horse shit, which (as you may know) has a slightly thicker consistency. The dilemma we must then face is how do we categorise and specify the fine (if rather smelly) line between what is crap and what is bullshit. The study of bull-crap may also been of concern to some readers, but I feel it not my place to enter that arena. This article stinks enough as it is. However... When considering bullshit, I feel it important to point out our rigorously defined guidelines regarding the use of bollocks as I feel many of the important principles apply. If I may quote: “Sometimes articles arrive at Articles for deletion which have only the most tenuous connection to reality: they are, to use a British term, Complete Bollocks. This is not always a bad thing.” ~ Uncyclopedia:Complete Bollocks I think that speaks for itself. Got it? So basically, we want more bullshit, some horse shit, and a liberal helping of complete bollocks. But NO CRAP. Unless it's crap which adds to the general stench of the article in question (assuming that stinking is what we want). Got it now? Well, look at it this way... There was a man who had three wives. No, that was Moses. Oh, so Moses comes down from Mount Sinai and says: "Well, lads. I got him down to ten, but adultery is still in." No wait. Sorry, that was complete bollocks. I'm drifting into the realms of pointless excrement, and what does this have to do with anything? Don't tell them that! So what was it I was talking about again? Oh, yea... Does anyone know where I left my slippers?

Check out these pages! Apparently, we had a "golden era" Only the Lonely Oh, it's nothing to do with marriage. I'm disappointed Random suggestion If we weren't on the internets, I'd say this was getting geeky From our logs: 13:25, 9 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.71.123.168 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (1 day for blanking, 1 week for blanking a featured, 2 weeks for blanking a top 10 and the rest is a bonus!) 02:46, 8 February 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 97.83.236.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fer the love of Christ, you make me think I actually have a life. You've been doing the same God damn thing since the summer. Just fuck off already.) 16:41, 7 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Luvvy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a purrr ‎ (And that's for flirting with another admin. Shame on you.) Biopic of the Week DrStrange is one of these here stellar n00bs that we're wittering on about in that there main article. He's been here for a bit over 2 months, and in that time has won NotM and already been nommed for WotM. At this rate, he'll be WotY by about June. Good job he's funny and good at writing things really, otherwise we'd be obliged to hate his precocious guts. Gender confirmation of the Week YesTimeToEdit astonished the Uncyclopedia community by admitting to being male. Orian57 continued in whale raping Yettie. SysRq consequently "won teh penis", granting him this most prized life-time achievement award. In the ensuing chaos, Sockpuppet of an unregistered user cut off Yettie's penis and went on a raping spree with it. Mnbvcxz still believed that Yettie was a girl and the latter declared his love and desire to be raped towards the former. SoaUU AKA Sockie admitted having a vagina, or did (s)he?... Mnbvcxz refused to give his/her gender... Will Yettie get his penis back? Who is pretending to be male and who is pretending to be female? Tune in next week! Same penis-time. Same penis-channel. Cajek ban smackdown of the week 02:53, 10 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a voyage made in less than twelve parsecs ‎ (You want a ban-off, RAHB!? BRING IT!) 00:46, 7 February 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a Kessel run ‎ (I shall not allow TheLedBalloon to dethrone my weekly Cajek-banning title!)

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9001(bot)  20:45, Feb 11

Thanks for voting

And now, a special message from the President *pff...hehe* of the United States My fellow Uncyclopedians, This past vote on VFH has been an emotional one for our wiki. The people have spoken, and I am honorated to accept the privilegitude to servify the Uncyclopedia front page for another eight years. What do you mean, articles are only featured for one day? Thank you for voting. Much love, —Sir SysRq (talk)

Review!

Thanks for the review! It was helpful, however regarding a few of your points: the prose and grammar were intended to feel somewhat "unprofessional" to make the central first person character a sort of n00by feeling (and same with the fuzziness you mention). The excessive use of swearing is also intended to be a "swearing makes you cool and funny, it really does" joke. But if this isn't too obvious, I probably should eitgher make it so or change. If you don't think it works, fair enough. I'm prepared to defuzzify. I was thinking UnBook, possibly (most of my articles are never really normal mainspace articles).

Cheers. - [14:35 15 February 2009] YYettie

Ah, I understand. It wasn't obvious to me, of course, so if you want to carry that unprofessional image forward, then it would certainly need exemplifying. The only disadvantage is that some dull readers, me especially, can often misinterpret the intended style and language as the norm of the author and then rubbish off the article. If you ask me, I'd try and write it in the style of a paranoid person with impossibly irretrievable disregard for authority, perhaps suggesting that s/he has been drink-driving beforehand.

As for UnBook, I could've tried to suggest how it could be implemented. After all, I'd be in the doldrums over how I could transform the article into something that people would read as a book, but I should've at least racked my brains about it. Anyway, whatever which way you choose to complete it, I'll certainly be looking forward to it. --Nachlader 14:43, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 19th February2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

I love it when the news comes together

February 19, 2009 • Issue 35 • Sifting the flour of news into the soufflé of your talk page

Uncyclopedia shuns ads in favor of product placement By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedia admins today announced that there would most definitely never be advertisements placed in the hallowed halls of yon humor wiki. However, it seems in order to rake in the cash that would have resulted from these ads, similar to raking in the flavor from KFC's new Turkey-Flavored ChickenTM, we will instead be treated to subtle product placement in every facet of Uncyclopedia. The driving force behind this decision is undoubtedly greed. The driving force behind the new Ford ExplorerTM is Jack Bauer. Catch 24 this Sunday on FOX! Jack Bauer drives a Ford! When asked for Uncyclopedia's official political stance on the matter, sysop TheLedBalloon said, "You can't fool me Jimmy Carter! I voted for Gerald Ford in the last election and I'm DAMN PROUD OF IT! You can't intimidate me with your 'pretending to be the newspaper reporter but actually being Jimmy Carter in disguise who will then detain me for several months of waterboarding hell' routine--fool me once, shame on you; fool my twice, shame on me...", which only added more fuel to the fire of speculation surrounding this occurence. For the best value fuel, visit Egan's SunocoTM. The mood in the Uncyclopedia break room was sombre today. Several users expressed their concern about not having ads placed on the wiki. "What? No ads? But how will we make money?" asked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user. It seems the secret of product placement has been kept under wraps by the non-existant Cabal. For the best quality cling-wrap, choose Crestfield Wax PaperTM. When asked for the reason behind the secrecy, TheLedBalloon further elaborated on his earlier statement, saying, "FORD WAS RIGHT TO PARDON NIXON, DAMMIT! So take your goddamn liberal hippy goddamn elitist goddamn tax-raisings somewhere else!" Readers are reminded that Williams BrandTM is the preferred brand of hippy elitist tax-raisings by a 2-to-1 margin. Please stay tuned to the UnSignpost for further updates on the ad situation, the product placement situation, and how really, really terrible all of our articles are going to look with trademark tags mucking up the line spacing. Sonic Fever Hits Uncyclopedia By Joe9320 For the first time in 18 years - in fact, since the first Sonic game came to the USA in 1991 - Sonic Fever has again spread far and wide, and the age of Sonic is back! (Among several users on Uncyclopedia, at least). The first Golden Age of Sonic ran from 1993-1998. By 2001, Sonic was way past his prime, grumbling about how he "used to be a contender" and trying to hock his large collection of gold rings and emeralds for beer money. People no longer cared about Sonic. Then in 2008, a surge in Sonic Mania started again, but this time on the internet! It reached Uncyclopedia in 2009. Uncyclopedia Experts have determined that the mania will be short lived, and be replaced by Mario Fever, and then a resurgence in Pokémon Fever all within the next 3 years. Meanwhile, Twilight mania among teenage girls will continue to outstrip it. Enzo Aquarius declined to comment, for he was too busy for an interview. The UnSignpost imagines he'd probably have said something about Rouge The Bat being "hawt".

Check out these pages! Suffering voting withdrawal? This'll keep you happy for ages! So, do we collaborate... ...Or colonize? Decisions, decisions From our logs: 21:29, 15 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Thebigj2 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (1. blanker. 2. I live 10 minutes from Anna Frank's house, ergo - you're trashing my neighbourhood) 17:55, 15 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Flyingwombatperson (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (If Britain no longer exists, why can I still buy British Breakfast tea? HUH? ANSWER ME THAT, SMART GUY! (also don't blank pages, please)) 13:21, 13 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Gettgett (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Do I know you? No. Do I know your butt ugly friends? No. Do I CARE about you and your friends? NO. Do I think you are all bored and butt ugly. YES. Get the point? Get some good looking friends) Biopic of the Week What do you look for in an amphibian? Long hind legs, a short body, webbed digits (fingers or toes), protruding eyes and the absence of a tail? Or a large banstick, supercool admin powers, awesome writing skills, gratuitous profanity and minor homicidal tendencies? If you chose the first option, you need a regular frog. If you chose the second, you need TKF. (Just don't call him TFK). If you chose the third option, you aren't playing properly. The continuing saga of Cajek block of the week 15:09, Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours (Can you believe I haven't blocked you yet in 2009? Yeah, I know!) 07:40, Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 hours (Thou shalt not be Cajek, though I suppose thou must, so I shall cut thou some slack) 17:50, 15 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 11 minutes ‎ ([edit/QuickEdit] Cajek (Talk • Contribs (del) • Editcount • BLOCK (rem-lst-all) • Logs • Groups • Checkuser) -- how Cajek on VFS looks to the sysops) 21:30, 11 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1000 seconds ‎ (Right you two - sod off, the chap had enough!) 21:06, 11 February 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 672 seconds ‎ (Oh that just fuckin' tears it Led. You hear me?! That fucking TEARS it! It's ON!)

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9001(bot)  18:08, Feb 19

Random...?

I removed the "Random" categorization from Running of the Bulls which you applied. Unless, you have a reason for it? It seemed like a mistake. It certainly is not random, per Uncyc culture (or any other...?).

I haven't sent it to Pee Review, I'm still considering the actual humor value of it (it might be one of those "seemed funny" things at first, but I'm giving it time). But it is certainly not random.

Don't worry! There are a number of reasons not to worry. In short: don't worry! 1. You have every reason to criticise me for adding the "Random" categorisation, as your article was pretty much the first one I've come across that desired to be filed in a category or other. So really, if there is any mistake, it's a noobish mistake on my behalf. 2. "Random" doesn't mean the article is bad in any way, it just means it has a very general topic. 3. I thought it was an appropriate category for your article because I couldn't think of anything else other than Spain. 4. Don't worry!

By the way, sign your posts, dude. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 01:15, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Crap! I always sign my posts! How did I let that one slip past me? Crap! (that's my take-away from this message) --TPLN 07:47, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

My darling,

Please subst:nosubst thine sig. It is spitting code onto yonder talk pages and is most unsightly. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:20, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Hi! My name's Huey Lewis, the boys behind me are the News, and now we're gonna perform: "I'm Not Sure What You Mean" followed by "I Know Shit About Coding", topped off with "The Power of Love".

I DUN TEH THING IN PREFERECENES BUT KNOW IM CONFUUSED!!!!!!{{subst:nosubst:User:Nachlader/sig}} 11:17, 24 February 2009 (UTC) . PLS HLP IM A NOOB? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:17, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

It should be "{{subst:nosubst|User:Nachlader/sig}}". -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 12:11, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Boo! Get to Power of Love! These new songs are boring and no-one here came to listen to them! --UU - natter 12:14, Feb 24

Huh? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 12:16, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Hot Japanese Girls

I'm doing a slow crawl over the article for you. Mind if I do any minor grammar/word choice edits while I'm there?--    18:54, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

If you can point them out here first, then we could totally talk them over with some all-American malts! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 18:56, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Done! I'll just paste over some sentences that look rough here.--    18:58, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Excellent, dude! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 18:59, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Better idea, head over to Doc Strange's practice page. I've started a section on the bottom for your "virtual rewrite". I'm going through it section by section, rewording and making comments. Use what you want or maybe just get some ideas on tweaking yourself. It's a pee experiment! Section one is done, just keep looking for updates.--    19:30, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Had a look and you've made some very good suggestions. Especially regarding the structure and the strategy of the text, as well as the issue of the word flow (my only excuse? When I wrote this article in October last year, I hadn't set about writing nine English essays yet). If you still have suggestions, then keep at it! Meanwhile, I'll pick the revisions from your page that I feel suit the article best and do away with the article. I'll be updating, thanks! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 19:48, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Well I'll be damned. Just took a look at your past work and noticed you wrote Golf War. I loved that article. Simply hilarious! =) Just took a sneak peak at your latest creation (Japanese Hot Girls) - it too is great; although I do agree with most of the wise comments DrStrange made. Oh, and the notepad drawing is a fitting, well-placed little joke. It really had me laughing! Cheers and good luck with the updating! --Kit talk 20:37 24 February

Thank you indeed! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:09, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

I'll leave the last section be. My only other thought was the potential for a small section on the aftermath of the book alluded to in the introduction. Beyond that, It's a good article. I'm not sure it's a 50 but I wouldn't give it less than a 35 or more than 40 in my fallible opinion.--    23:21, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Haha, I understood that the reviewer was vastly over-generous. Thanks again. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:24, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 26th February 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Free Newspaper Only Two People Started Out Editing, But Now They Want Nothing To Do With!

February 26, 2009 • Issue 36 • Picking the poppy seeds of truth from the teeth of the news

Imperial Coloni(s|z)ation For Glorification of Motherwiki By Gerrycheevers Imperial Colonization made yet another triumphant return this week, after several months of languishing, inactivity, and Richard Nixon. Upon a general query from an annoying masked UnSignpost writer, another anonymous user stepped up and took control. That anonymous user is SysRq. Forums were created, ideas were exchanged, and the Cajek search party was sent out again. Only the last one was in vain, as an all-new Colonisation page was rolled out last week. Uncyclopedians wasted no time in signing up and nominating their first target: the utter garbage pile that was Al Gore. Previously containing banal tripe such as Manbearpig references, internet invention claims, lockbox bollocks, and other assorted drivel, the article is now, according to an official Colonization spokesman, "well on its way to not sucking." Future Colonisations have been lined up as well, leading this reporter to believe that this time around, Colonization is here to stay, even moreso that Manforman or the Poison Pee template. It looks as if the article on Jews is next on the Colonisation docket, since all articles relating to that topic are "utter bilge, consumed with hateful pointlessness and also secretly controlled by Jews." British Infiltration of Non-Existent Cabal Continues at VFS by UU Talking of organisations secretly controlled by Jews, the non-existent Uncyclopedia Cabal was expanded ahead of schedule to the tune of two brand new British admins at the weekend. The early opping was due to two factors, firstly, an unprecedented landslide, with two candidates polling so many votes that the final round was rendered an irrelevance, and secondly, new 'crat Mordillo being impatient to use his whizzy new powers to op the new admins before Codeine or Mhaille beat him to it. The most votes were polled by MrN9000, and your USP can't think of a more deserving recipient of a shiny new banstick. He's already thrown himself into his new role with gusto, banning, deleting, featuring and the like with gusto, and proudly declaring "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing", thus showing he has as much grasp of the role already as any other admin. The numbers were made up by fellow limey Under user, who has been keen to get started using his whizzy new powers, but has been limited to mainly joke bans so far by MrN's astounding competence and annoying habit of doing all the work. UU was unavailable for comment (which is odd, seeing as he's writing this), but his wife had this to say: "you bastards! Do you have any idea what you've done? I'll be lucky to see him for more than about half an hour a week now!" She wasn't joking.

Check out these pages! Is this something to do with us being the worst? I want candy No pain, no gain From our logs new admins bumper special: 05:09, 24 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 142.207.115.132 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blocking you for a day because I feel like it (and also because you blanked California)) 19:44, 21 February 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a slightly torn pair of pants ‎ (Happy adminship, fucker <3) 16:40, 21 February 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a brand new pair of admin pants ‎ (let's see, who to ban first... Cajek? Too obvious. Mordillo? See last comment. MrN? Yeah! Oh, and about damn time you got this - how come they gave it to me too?) 10:58, 21 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) resurrected Mordillo (Talk | contribs) ‎ (his first ban is the crat who gave him powers. my sort of chap) 10:54, 21 February 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Rogue Admin) 10:15, 21 February 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.184.94.78 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Ne habla gibberish) Biopic of the Week Sockpuppetry is normally frowned on here at Uncyclopedia, with bans routinely handed out to those who transgress. There are no exceptions. The exception, of course, is Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, a sock who seems to have its head sewn on the right way, or at least drawn on with permanent marker in the right way. He makes his presence felt by fighting vandalism wherever it rears its ugly head, and generally making himself helpful around the wiki. A helpful sockpuppet? Got to be one of the signs of an impending apocalypse! Explanation of the week This week, there will be no Cajek ban of the week. This is because Manticore decided to ban him in the hope of making it into your UnSignpost, and we're not gonna give that big ol' whore the satisfaction. You hear me, Manty? YOU'RE NEVER GETTING IN THIS... Oh shit.

Judges Wanted! The next PLS is impending, and the are still judging slots unfilled. Hv is looking for users who are opinionated, who think that those opinions matter, and who want to give the benefit of those opinions to many in the form of passing judgement on articles. Enjoy the temporary sensation of power! Impress your friends! Alienate those whose articles you don't favour! Sign up now! UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  11:23, Feb 26

Ooops, I think I called you Nachlander!

Thanks For Being Groovy! I am both deeply humbled and appreciative of your vote to promote me to Knight Grand Cross of the Order and shall send the magic van round to your flat with virtual contraband

Kind of sounds like a movie, doesn't it? "....and only one shall remain" OK, I'm being silly. Thanks for your kind words on my talkie page and your gratuitous whoring for my WOTM promotion. You get free virtual rewrites as long as I'm still unemployed!--    15:26, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Looks like I'm getting free virtual rewrites for some time yet! Congratulations on the award, thoroughly deserved it. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 15:29, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Guide to the American Roadside Attraction

OK, it's now been transferred to its own proper page and the clipboard discussions are on the new talk page as well.--    12:52, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

/me charges at the enemy in a naive fashion ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:16, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Template

You're welcome but it was me who nominated it, I wouldnt have done so if I didn't think it would be featured.--—The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 16:38, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 5th March 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!

March 5, 2009 • Issue 37 • The News, Smelted to 93% Purity!

New parser causes havoc by requiring Uncyclopedians to get things right by UU The latest Mediawiki update imposed on Uncyclopedia by its despotic overlords, Wikia, has had a catastrophic effect. The new parser, described by UnSignpost technical expert Gerrycheevers as "little gnomes in your browser that run between HTML tags to produce the proper effect in between" has thrown the formatting of quite literally some Uncyclopedia pages completely out of kilter. Resident tame Wikia staffer Sannse tried to explain: "bad HTML is the most likely cause of errors. But there are some other changes that might cause errors. For example, the way that some complex parser tags work has changed. The best thing to do is to look for HTML problems first (not forgetting that the errors are often in templates used on the page). Then, if you can't find it, hassle anyone you know who knows HTML and wikimarkup better than you (nah, not going to link some poor guy). Then, if you can't find it, hassle me to find help (Uberfuzzy is on standby to assist where needed). Again I'd suggest that the template author should be the person who knows how to make it work!" Most Uncyclopedians had already gone cross-eyed by this point, but she gamely continued: "Don't forget that you can use Special:ParserDiffTest as a help in finding exactly what's different on a page. A lot of the changes don't mean anything. For example, on this page the only differences are to class and section titles. But this one shows problems with center and div tags (the last two green sections on the div)". Your USP offers the following, less confusing advice: if you open any kind of tag in html like <this>, you have to close it again, like </this> before the end of your page. And if you open more then one tag, be sure to close them in the right order <like><this></this></like>. Then shit should not get fucked up. The gnomes were unavailable for comment. February '... of the Month' Awards Hoedown by Gerrycheevers Well, February is over, and that means it's time to look back at the shortest month of the year and make fun of people who won awards during that month, for they have only won 90.32% as much recognition as those who won the award during a robust 31-day month. Let's get started with... DrStrange, our newest Writer of the Month, fresh off his NotM victory in December, is a welcome addition to our close, close family of editors who have never had any physical contact with each other. Since joining, the good doctor has written several featured articles, and is well on his way to another. He has enjoyed perhaps the quickest transition ever from NotM to WotM, but don't expect us to go looking things up to confirm that. February's Uncyclopedian of the Month was our lovable Wikia dictator, Sannse. Donning her staff hat and Wikia mystic power staff, Sannse always manages to be polite and cheery, even when sending vandal IPs to their doom, tacking notices to the corkboard in the Uncyc break room that incite site-wide user rebellion, and crushing the earlier mentioned site-wide user rebellions. Our N00b of the Month was a chap by the name of Guildensternenstein, which we have come to believe is some sort of undead monster from a Shakespeare play. His impressive work in his short time here, along with his other helpful contributions such as dropping by Pee Review and Imperial Colonisation from time to time, should quiet up those doomsayers who say "we don't have any good n00bs anymore" for quite some time.

Check out these pages! Masturbating Monkey Hang on, someone really tried it? {{username}} strikes again again From our logs: 09:02, 5 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.160.35.16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (thanks for your thoughtful and insightful additions, and your considerate removing of content, you win a free day off! (don't blank)) 13:36, 3 March 2009 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a torah, two bagels and a large blue yamulke ‎ (Unblocked too early. I suspect a Jewish conspiracy!) 19:28, 2 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked MTTB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (possibly one day people will start reading messages I leave for them on the talk page. YOU. DO. NOT. REVERT. ME. WITHOUT. TALKING. WITH. ME.) 06:44, 2 March 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.225.120.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (And I'm going to rape you if you don't shut up. *takes his first ever swig of Jack Daniels, throws up*) Biopic of the Week Optimuschris ~ "Having been around for a while now, Opty deserves some recognition," said the newest UnSignpost intern, pictured at the right. He went on in his monotonous, metallic voice: "He has a featured article and another in the works. He contributes to bettering the site via Pee Review and Imperial Colonization." We were going to agree with the robot-ish fellow, but when we turned back, he was gone. But there was a refrigerator there we hadn't noticed before... Old-School Featured Article of the Week The Keep Your Finger In The Box Game has been a smash hit among the rainy-day crowd since its introduction to America in 1954. Despite the title of the game, the object is to not take your finger out of the box before your opponent does. The article contains a rich history of the game, as well as a detailed strategy list involving cats, seduction, and urine-filled projectiles. Cajek ban of the week None. Seriously, it hasn't happened. Not banning Cajek is the new banning Cajek. New poopsmith of the week RabbiTechno has taken up his new position as co-processor of shit on the wiki alongside some scrote whose name escapes us briefly - perhaps because he hinted he wanted a story about himself in this edition. The good Rabbi has so far been diligently watching his sidekick do all the donkey work, while conducting the far harder task of making sure it has all been done properly. He exclusively didn't tell the Signpost: "yup, looks good enough to me".

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9001(bot)  13:55, Mar 6

Excellent!

I Told Her Thanks For Voting To Feature Private Eye But she looked at me like I was wearing orange in the St Patrick's Day parade. I wasn't sure if that was fog behind me or if my favorite place for take-out Chinese food had just went up in flames but I knew that I'd better make this quick either way. "You were great, kid" I told her but her facial expression never changed. She kicked off her heels and put on a pair of roller skates but she looked about as comfortable in them as a woodpecker in the petrified forest. She took one last drag off her cigarette, blew the smoke in my face, flicked the butt at my feet and rolled away into the night - leaving me standing there like a wide screen TV on layaway. I took another sniff of the air and now I was sure, Chang's Wok Inn was definitely on fire and it looked like it was going to be another night of hamburger helper and "Juggs" magazine..............................

Of course, I have to go overboard with the template too.--    11:30, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

BTW, I've pretty much set the plate for you on the guide to American roadside attractions. I want you to take the lead on creating the tone for this one and I'll follow/add/edit. I have this feeling that you're OK with that. --    17:31, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

That's absolutely cool with me. Hopefully we can finish this during the week. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:39, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Damn, why didn't I think of that?

When I was in the running for WotM, I never thought to tell people visiting my userpage to leave me alone, even if I was playing Final Fantasy. See, you're always one step ahead of me. You gotta help me run my campaigns in the future. —Sir SysRq (talk) 20:03, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Well you know, if you're tussling with Golbez over some crystals, some path to the moon, Cecil's beloved Rosa, and the very fate of the planet as we know it, you know some motherfucker from some part of Uncyclopedia is going to disturb you. Just entered Eblan Cave, so no spoilers please. btw: playing FF, FUCK OFF ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 20:20, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Purim

Mad Mike "Moishe" Tyson does it, so you should too!

Yes - it's Purim already, so be like
Mike and eat some ears today!

It's the only time of year when being a Jew is fun!
Chag Purim Sameach from Rabbi Techno

---

OK, so you're not Jewish. Who cares? This is a great excuse to get drunk.

Happy... holocaust day!? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 15:41, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Don't you go tellin' me...

...that muh maths ain't no good! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:14, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

oh god oh god my legs they really hurt god my legs they hurt they hurt oh god my legs what happened to my legs oh god ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 20:18, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Walk it off, lad. Walk it off. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:19, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 12th March 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now Delivered Trendily Late!

March 10th, 2009 • Issue 38 • Mucking up your talk page, one issue at a time

CONSPIRACY!!! By Gerrycheevers WE ARE DOOMED! Head for the hills, Uncyclopedia users, there's nothing that can save us now! As of this morning, we NO LONGER EXIST!!! Now, if you are reading this, you may be thinking to yourself, "why, that Gerry fellow is quite mad. Since I am reading the UnSignpost now, then both I and Uncyclopedia must still exist." To this i say to you: THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK. Furthermore, it is also WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK THEY THINK YOU THINK. Reactions were mixed today at the wiki. Some theorized that uncyclopedia.wikia.com was, in fact, sinking. In response to this, the women (all 3 of them) and children were loaded onto lifeboats and fired out of the lifeboat-cannon, in hopes that they would land far away enough from the landlocked Uncyc as to find a body of water. Other preparations included the Cajek string quartet playing rousing versions of traditional ship-sinking music. While it might seem rash for an official non-cabal-run periodical to endorse panic, the UnSignpost urges all Uncyclopedia users to abandon all reason and logic in an attempt to save themselves. The best course of action is most likely the one that involves the maximum amount of screaming, arm-flailing, and general insanity. The Uncyclopedia Store is likely to be looted quickly, so be sure to stop by early to maximize you chances at getting the best stuff. Count to a Million: Update By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedians have continued their brave foray into the dangerous world of numbers, today reaching the long-awaited benchmark of 3,239. The constitutes nearly 1/300th of the total goal, meaning we are 0.32% of the way there! Users were overjoyed, confused, and generally apathetic about the achievement. Since its inception on February 20th, 2008, many different counters, or 'c-ters' as they refer to themselves, have contributed to the project. The content of the countup has varied greatly, from battleships to cartoon characters to road signs, and yet never deviating very far away from pornography. At any rate, it seems Uncyclopedia admin and Chair of the Committee to Investigate and Eliminate Needless Committees Spang's experiment to destroy the internet has not succeeded...yet. The project has advanced at a rate of 8.39 numbers per day, a respectable clip considering the enormous effort involved in adding the next number in the sequence. At this brisk clip, the project will reach completion at 18:45 UT on June 24, 2334. Until that day, Uncyclopedians can only hope, dream, and continue in the increasingly difficult task of adding one to a moderately large number.

Check out these pages! Silliness Pointlessness Eyerapeness From our logs: 23:47, 9 March 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.23.110.230 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanking 'please don't delete this page'--my favorite part about that idea was how original it was.) 04:39, 10 March 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked CS SHITTY (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (HOLY SHIT WHERE ARE YOU MONGOLOIDS COMING FROM?!?!?!?!?!!?!) 16:08, 10 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 168.170.199.120 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ ("He who shall be an idiot shall be striked down with furious anger". Book of Mordillo, chapter one verse 3) 10:52, 11 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.89.227.16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (we apologise for taking so long to ban you, but we get there in the end. also, I think you'll find it is you who loves the cock.) Biopic of the Week Guildensternenstein ~ With one of the hardest usernames to spell correctly (and not one that's hard but fun, like some users), Guildie has splashed upon the Uncyc scene with a gusto. Displaying a knack for writing humor (the main prerequisite to be considered "ballin'" by fellow Uncyclopedians), he also takes part in the current trends of Pee Review and Imperial Colonization, making him popular and, thus, cooler than you. Old-School Featured Article of the Week This is it. The big one. The greatest article in Uncyclopedia history...Bears. Yes, these foraging lunatics are masters of cryogenics, and will stop at nothing in their quests for honey, human flesh, and pic-a-nic baskets. Cajek ban of the week 15:14, 6 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 24 seconds ‎ (I am very troubled by the fact you were not banned in a while. Has the community given up on you???)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  21:38, Mar 13

UnSignpost 19th March

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

March 19th, 2009 • Issue 39 • Committed to both Bringing You The News and The Happywood Insane Asylum

Forum topic created; Modusoperandi posts witty response By Gerrycheevers At a certain point this week, a relatively green uncyclopedian posed a rather ill-advised question on one of the Forums quaintly known to patrons of this silly wiki as the 'Village Dump'. A few seconds after the aforementioned certain point this week, resident cheek-tonguer Modusoperandi responded by intentionally misinterpreting the meaning of the question, twisting the querist's words, taking advantage of some sort of delicious pun, or otherwise causing mischief in the usually serious, informative Forum. Reactions were, as usual, mixed in the community. Several anonymous users were outraged at the lack of tact and formality displayed by the wily Modus. "Uncyclopedia is serious business," said one pitchfork-wielding mob participant. "We would descend into total anarchy if it weren't for the court system, the press, the boron smelting plant, and the sanctity of our information distribution system." Other users seemed to support the flashing of rapier wit, claiming "if we can't laugh a little, then what's the point? Without humor, we'd end up in hell like all those poor souls who lived before Jesus invented comedy in 23 A.D." Modusoperandi himself declined to comment on the situation, only offering this brief reply to a query seeking a comment: "She told me that she was eighteen. She also told me that she human and was not, in fact, a bonobo. If you have any other questions, please direct them to my law firm; Alan, Whitcomb, Silverstein & Bonobo." It seems the elusive Mr. Operandi is free to continue in his forum havoc-wreaking, as nobody has stepped up to officially denounce his actions. All bonobos involved were unavailable for comment. UnSignpost Editors Under Fire for Bonuses By Gerrycheevers This week the Uncyclopedia community was outraged to learn that the UnSignpost, which recently received a Wikia bailout, will be giving hefty bonuses to the very dunderheads responsible for driving the periodical into the ground in the first place. The extremely active Uncyclopedia Senate has vowed that action will be taken against the editors set to receive the lucrative bonuses. It may be possible that they will be blocked from editing or even exiled to another wiki. Uncyclopedians were, for the most part, outraged. Popular user Mnbvcxz had an unrelated statement quote-mined by an UnSignpost journalist to produce the following comment:"I[...]is[...]finished," a possible indication that he will leave the site in protest of the bonuses. The founders of the newspaper refused comment, as they want nothing to do with it anymore, and true to that mission this reporter was chased off the the grounds of the Cajek mansion by bunnies wearing bee costumes. The current editors were hounded, with Under user having this to say: "I don't think there have been any "comically large" bonuses paid out. There have simply been adequate contractual remunerations allocated to key staff to reward their loyalty and unstinting efforts. Every penny of these almost insignificant amounts is richly deserved. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to buy a large yacht and fill a swimming pool with cash to float it on." Gerrycheevers was absolutely unavailable at press time.

Check out these pages! Windows sucks The ratings system sucks You suck From our logs: 11:00, 15 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Slicktorine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Cyberbullying: We just don't care about you or your friends. Sorry. I suggest you ask him for a date. He's probably a really nice guy.) 11:10, 17 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.124.60.187 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Here is a sharp pointy thingy up your ass. My finger. Don't worry, I washed it) 11:43, 18 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) moved Jon snow to Jon Snow ‎ (capital punishment) 11:39, 19 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9001 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (insubordination) Biopic of the Week Savethemooses is one of the legends of Uncyc lore. Once the king of the featured article hill, his recent inactivity has allowed him to slip to seventh, despite having twenty-five features, which is more than you ever will. In fact, the only way you will ever come close to experiencing the glory that was STM's being is to go nominate several of his articles on VFH right now. Like, right now. Old-School Featured Article of the Week Pixellated Face Disease is a rare condition in which a person's face, caught on camera, will become blurred, or 'pixellated'. There is no known cure for the disease, and there are several associated conditions, such as Blurred Registration Plateism and Black Strip syndrome, the latter only affecting the eye region. Cajek Ban Joke of the Week In this week's uproariously funny UnSignpost issue, the second story misdirection-links the phrase "blocked from editing" to Cajek's userpage. Retraction of the Week The current editors of the UnSignpost have recently become aware of startling differences between the current Signposts and editions from early in the newspaper's history. We would therefore like to retract the following issues: #1, #3, #6-13, and #16.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MnbvcxzBot 05:22, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

What's that?

Are you calling me a TWAT??? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:52, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

YOU ARE A CANYONESQUE TWAT VYING FOR ALL THINGS DICK-LIKE TO ENTER YOU AND YOUR HELLISH ABYSS ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:17, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Meh. Twat. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:20, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

i know you aren't really british. i saw you getting out of a car in la. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:22, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

You got me. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:27, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Danke schön!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildensternenstein

---

The lesson learned

It's still rather early to give up hope for feature but we have the short-attention span contingent to deal with (those who regularly vote yes for small articles that read like childrens books while regularly discriminating against longer ones) as well as "homeland security" - which Is an added problem that I think we both didn't see coming but probably should have thought about. Apparently only Obama is "in" right now.

This old man may not do things in the most diplomatic fashion, which is something you should always strive to do (do as I say, not as I do) but you have to admit that I know people and I understand the difference between honest opinions and people who issue generic reasons to cover up the fact that their vote has "stink" on it (read between the lines). Frankly, between the PLS stuff and the history of "interesting" voting and political identity, I'd had enough and went on the offensive (and I'm probably inching closer to my first ban for that). Unfortunately, I chose to start something on the nom page which was a bad idea - undermined by my passions again. My apologies for that to you as a co-author and anyone else who didn't need to see that on the nom page - all other apologies are currently on layaway.

So, how does one diplomatically "interrogate" someone into coughing up the truth by intent (rarely) or by accident (most of the time)? I usually put on the full court press and see if the ball pops out. I'm just too damn good at it - maybe I should have worked at Gitmo. Of course, some people don't even have a ball to begin with and when you discover this - ignore them. The answer to the question? There is no good way to do it unless you're Modus. You can learn how to "verbally disarm" a person better from him. I just turn into The Incredible Hulk and start tossing vehicles.

The problem with the fear, loathing, jealousy and spite - which will always exist in a competitive environment and trust me, no matter what anyone says, this place is the fuckin' Indy 500 - is that it's just too easy to say NO to something or break something down. There are very few articles in the entire 24,000 piece catalog of Uncyclopedia that you couldn't absolutely shred with criticism and think of a good reason to not feature. Now that somebody has actually branded our article a "sockpuppet for someone with a vendetta against America" and "Unamerican", what do you think might be next? BTW, never be fooled when someone says they would have voted For but (insert excuse here). If you've ever had a girl that was prick-teasing you and, after calling her on it, she says "oh, well I was going to have sex with you but you had to go and be a jerk" - Trust me, you were never in contention to get some in the first place.--    10:14, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

This is ONE FINE MESS - I left a jaw-dropping lengthy comment on the VFH nom page. Meanwhile, I'm in a rather depressed mood at the moment, so I'll make this message sho ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 16:47, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Saw it. Relax, I think we'll be OK. Private eye went like this because of length. People will actually read it and hopefully we'll crack double digits but it's going to take at least a week - probably two. Sometimes you have to send a message. I wasn't about to let a handful of speed-reading punks send a message that the article is too long and not worth the read.....when they haven't even read it. See how the lengthists produce an environment hostile to anything but postcards? Coming soon in the village dump, I'm going to start a debate with the lengthists and rip this philosophy a new ass - comically of course, article style, in the dump.--    16:59, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Add pictures and multiple short paragraphs. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 21:13, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

By the way, thanks for the WotM nomination, sir. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 21:39, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

March Foolitzer Prize

A VALUABLE COLLECTOR'S ITEM

which is sure to be worth a very great deal of money in the near future.
An original recording of an interview between UNNEWS and
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
in which he reveals the truth about aliens.
Unfortunately, it's on Betamax so you can't watch it.
Many thanks for voting for me in last month's Foolitzer Prize.
Rabbi Techno

---

For your vote...

The Great Potato Massacre of March 2009 Thank you for supporting Sonje in her ruthless campaign for Potatochopper of the Month A baby potato shall be mercilessly sacrificed in your honour.

Especially since you inspired several of the pics leading to the award. Hope we can work together again in future. --^Dame 22:02, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

I'm South African but I live in Scotland, so I am patriotic to neither. You shall have to find other topics to mock me on Nach, :P --^Dame 13:50, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

How about your non-existent articles? =P ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 14:28, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

Ouch! Touché. --^Dame 14:35, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

Love you!!!

--MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:34, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

hello. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 10:52, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

So, got any plans for conservation week?--    11:55, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

nah. i'm going to stop visiting uncyc at some point soon though. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 13:37, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

[Insert begging not to leave here] --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 03:51, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Don't be a total stranger, drop in and say hi once in awhile.--    11:55, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

tits or gtfo faggot --CrabPope 17:19, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

I'm afraid the shop is shut and you're going to have to purchase your Magellan Strait from some other off-license. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:59, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Nachlader, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

---

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

---

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

---

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

---

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:41, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

UnNews talk:Ugly Scottish woman becomes a star!

Or maybe if you were bothered enough, you could check the reference? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:52, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

As always in such a situation, I did check the reference. You'll find I take my editing duties seriously. So, enough with the childish, "passive-aggresive" stuff. I was giving you a break, but now it's ICU'd.

I don't want to know what the story is about, I want to know why the story is funny. "Oh, look, a big, fat slob lady won a prize. Isn't she too fat? Isn't she a such a slob?" Not funny to sober adults.

Also, there's no links, there's some awful grammar, and it's kind of ugly. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:31, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

Not all articles have to be funny to you, you know. I found the article funny (not because of her being fat, but because of the surprise she generated in the UK), perhaps it is more UK-oriented, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that (lastly, I didn't write the article, just to make sure you know). ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:27, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

And thank you for the tips above this headline. I have a few more ideas for UnNews. It's also easier to write news articles because the length isn't always as demanding as standard articles, I'm bored of writing upward of 1000 words all the time. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 12:31, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

And lastly lastly, could you read what I thought of the rewrite of the Emperor's clothes article? I think it doesn't capture the joke as well as I put it out originally, so I'd like to be able to discuss the article so it's in the best state possible. Thanks, man. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 12:57, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah-fuckin-BLAH! Blolbloblaw. Blobbblobblobblaw. Don't piss on my back and tell me it's raining. --noamshouseparty 19:02, 22 April 2009 (UTC)

Tawdry and tawdry and tawdry. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 19:54, 22 April 2009 (UTC)

Hurray!

Greetings From Four Corners!! Thanks for sending us a copy of A Guide to the American Roadside Attraction. Look at us! We're in four states simultaneously! We're headed to Waco, Texas next and we'll be visiting The Branch Davidian Compound Site and The Dr Pepper Museum. I hear they used to call Dr Pepper "Waco" because you could only find the stuff within the city limits. They say it was originally sold in a drug store as a brain tonic! We'll send you another postcard when we get to Mammy's Cupboard for some biscuits and gravy!

See! It only took a month! Which seemed like a year.--    14:11, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

that's an awesome template. it was fun, man, maybe we'll think of an article idea again the next time we speak idly. meanwhile, i should be somewhere else! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 15:30, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

Dearest Nachy...

Thank you ... ... for supporting my recently featured picture. A baby potato shall be mercilessly sacrificed in your honour. - Sonje

PS: I also prefer shaving Ryan's privates. --^Dame 14:10, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

Then we should should arrange a militaristic themed shaving appointment, darling Sonje. I will role-play as the character of Private Parts. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:09, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

Hmmm... but who will be Ryan? Perhaps we can ask Orian. --^Dame 19:52, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey

It's that time again! YAY WHORING!!!-- Whore cHeDDaR 01:23,7May,2009

Go earn votes in a respectable way, such as bribery. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 01:32, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Free Stuff

While I was over at the Googleplex researching History of Google I managed to grab a load of these promotional t-shirts. Here's one for you because you voted for the article on VFH! Model not included. Thankyou from Rabbi Techno

Monkey Lovers

Hey you were the original reviewer for the article and said it was greatly improved and definite VFH. When it failed, I asked the help of a second person, Orian, and he made major changes mostly with sentence structure and expression (I think he is very good at that) and put it back on VFH. Do you think it is still good? Or do you think it has regressed from its definite VFH spot? If you don't want to reread it again thats cool though because it is a bit long. Thanks! ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 06:13, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Also, this page is a bit lengthy. Have you considered archiving? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 06:16, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Go me, yeah actually I would quite like to know what you thought of it too actually, considering it's now half my work. I don't think I changed content to much, like tags said it was mostly sentence structure/expression. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 06:29 8 May 2009

Also, I reviewed your article. But keep in mind I made an effort to put nothing of any constructive value into it. I am not sorry. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 06:58, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

I haven't reviewed in a while and, coincidently for one of your articles, the last time I tried taking out the reviewing hat, I had to throw in the reviewing towel because, these days, all I have time for on Uncyc is to talk shit on the Village Dump. Whenever I get to go on the PC, I mostly use it to add to my short story, which is in slow progress as it is. However, so as long people don't queue up by the dozens waving files in the air, I'm willing to reread anything for folks who think all of a sudden "hey that Nachlader might be worth something" and then proceed to slam the offending article on my desk. I'll see what I can say about your piece. By the way, thanks for the review. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 10:06, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey just comin by to thank you for the review! It was very informative. I will see what Orian and I can do about it. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 18:25, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Don't let the demons get you. They got me. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:25, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Thom Yorke

Info Templates... I have tons of crappy templates, here's one:

Thom Yorke

Born	(1968-10-07) 7 October 1968
Hometown	Wellingborough, Northamptonshire
Instruments	Vocals Guitar Piano Keyboards Percussion Bass guitar
Occupation	Radiohead Frontman
Years active	1991—present
Label	XL

And here's a link to my 'info' template mainpage. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:04, 11 May 2009

i was actually going to think about letting on with the article idea, but your coming here with the infobox solution (since spang probably assumed i knew at least a smidgen about current infoboxes that doesn't have "conflict info" at the top) has inspired me to at least make my own version of the article and pretend i have my own corner of this site. i will justify your actions accordingly, sir/madam[?] (confused both by the first name kristie on your userpage and by the variety of sexist titled articles on your tray). ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:05, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

I am a female, bisexual, and at your service (so to speak). ~Formerly Annoying Crap 22:21, 11 May 2009

well that's the best kind of female. i'm also the best kind of male. bisexual, hater of men, lover of females. both get what they want, provided they are up to it. are you up for it? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:29, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

As long as if by 'it' you don't mean taking a candle-lit bubble bath while listening to Barry Manilow... Or watching you with another guy (I'm not into that)... Sure, I'm up for 'it.'  ; ) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 22:33, 11 May 2009

lady, i'll drain the mediterranean sea and anger the volcanoes of hawaii to deliver the hot water just for you. i'm unsure about barry manilow though, maybe he does private performances or something. i'll figure that part out for you sooner or later. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:39, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

I'd much rather hear you sing. Can you sing? Sing for me even if you cannot. (Maybe just help me with an article sometime)? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 02:40, 12 May 2009

I'll sing and lead you by the hand into an endless trance, even if you can't hear me. I do have a nice vocal range though. I'll help you on whatever you want help on, tis my duty for you. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 09:39, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Thom Yorke
Thom Yorke in concert at Brixton.
Background information
Birth name	Thomas Edward Yorke
Genres	Alternative rock Electronic
Occupation(s)	Musician
Instruments	Vocals Guitar Piano Keyboards Percussion Bass guitar
Years active	1991—present
Labels	XL
Associated acts	Radiohead, UNKLE, Björk

Hey Nachlader, I got yer info template right here. Yeah, that's right. This took me a long time, so I expect a fitting reward. If you don't have any attractive sisters, your firstborn child will suffice. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 04:49, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

I had an infobox, but this one looks a tinge more clearer (it interprets the article as more of a person rather than a musician alone, if you know what I mean). Thanks for the help, Syndrome. You can have loan details of any one of my fourteen wives. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 09:35, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Well, gee I guess I could have adapted it for you. (If you asked) But this wikipedia spork is cool too. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 13:42, 12 May 2009

Apologies. I was actually happy enough with the infobox you gave me, to the point where my absolute attention went from the title of the infobox, to you. You'll know what I'm talking about, where there are better things that ought to be discussed, rather than the adaptation of a title... ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 16:10, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

It's here...

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. Thought you'd like to know. It's also on Pee, if you're interested. —Sir Guildensternenstein 18:11, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Aw, man. It's great (The camouflage system caption = <3). It's once again innovative and sticks completely to exclusive humour. I daresay it deserves to be featured once more. I don't do PEEs very much these days though. I am, however, interested in helping to set up your rewriters group, Unseik-Jugend, or whatever name you're going for (Jugend makes sense, since they are articles that need to be grown up the right way). I have a few ideas for how it could be organised too, as well as getting into the biz myself (not to mention that I recently set eyes on a possible rewrite, Technocracy). ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:59, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Awesome. If you have any ideas, just throw them out on the forum page, it's still very much in the works. And, if you like my article so much, feel free to nominate it for VFH. If it does well and gets featured, that's all the feedback I need haha. —Sir Guildensternenstein 00:26, 16 May 2009 (UTC)

Der Unwehr

Check this out, and join if you really want to: User:Guildensternenstein/Der Unwehr —Sir Guildensternenstein 21:25, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Yo

Hey, kinda new hear so i just thought i'd ask first, is this the kinda picture that should be on VFP? If it needs work, i can't really help as i dont have photoshop or anything like that. Ellemonopy 01:50, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

It's bang on the kind of humour that VFP is looking for, and given the "girlish" nature that some people associate with footballers, the image definitely works, not to mention it's been photoshopped with clear skill. However, it's not original. There is no way of telling if the user who added the image to Uncyclopedia was in fact the original creator of the image. Whether or not an image is funny, it has to be original to be featured. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 08:33, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Ok, thanks. Good to know. Ellemonopy 19:02, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

'FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN'

Thank you for supporting Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

To show my appreciation, I'd like to eat your snake.

—Guildensternenstein

---

(template courtesy of CheddarBBQ) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:45, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey

Well thanks for the nom, but I think that Todd is correct, I dont have a mainspace article yet. I had to abandon my last attempt because it was too short (there is only a limited amount of things you can say about remote islands). I have two questions: would me re-writing an article count... and would helping Multili's effort to create portal pages count if I created one without his help? - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 21:42, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

I became NotM sometime last year because I did some articles and reviews in PEE. But take it from me; any old decent antic on this site that is considered contributing, helpful or otherwise progressing in some other way. So do anything, write an article, draw a picture, save a kitten, argue the analytical contextualisation of the working classes that are deeply rooted within the constraints of the works of 90s Britpop band Blur - whatever, there should be no requirement of what you actually do that is good, other than you be of youthful registration. I nominated someone who had no articles to her name, other than a few decent images that went on to become featured images (also the fact that she is a she. I'll never pass up a chance to glorify the opposite sex). Some people said that the nomination should've been made irrelevant because she had no articles, but so what? New folks would assume that the UotM award would go to the best user who did anything in the bestest way possiblerest, but it's only about who did the best maintenance of the site.

But then she got the award anyway. She's still not written anything, but seriously, what does it matter? I suggest you try different things around the site first before fretting (right word?) about articles just now, find a groove, a comfort zone and get into it. If you're still sure you want to simply write, then anything will do. A rewrite, a collab, a postal thing (whatever it is), so long as it's good, you'll be commended one way or another. I may even send you roses (screw it; watch out for them soon!).

Also, I would've nominated you for NotM even if you have love for blanking. All I know is, I still have a love for the female sex. Always free to drop me line for anything you want - I'm never doing anything else on this site! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:14, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Haha you rock, I seem to have taken a liking to fix those damn redlink articles... ill stick with that for now.

And thanks for the template that you added to my space - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 23:24, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

No problem! I'd add a <3 related template too, but I find actions speak better than words. Have fun! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:48, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Ok my first (attempt at an) article is up... Antigua-Barbuda - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 20:30, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

It's good! It refrains from clichés and sticks with exclusive humour, and controls the amount of "random" humour, something that lacks in the majority of new articles. The comedy is also light-hearted and makes understandable referrals; that the grooms celebrate "independence" before marriage and the bride making a run for it during the ceremony. I can think of a few pitfalls though; it's short, which isn't really that much of a problem, but it's critical when a short article is mostly a list. The second and third sections could possibly be mistaken for my shopping list, t'were they not be lacking with food. The third section could be converted to prose and replaced as the section following the introduction (this'll give it a more Wiki-like feel, if you know what I mean. Most articles start with the origins or history of the subject). The facts could also be converted possibly, but at least having one list in an article is good on the wall-of-text dodging eyes. One more thing; try and focus on the islands a bit more, perhaps mention that the islands represent "the young, loving couple, that when married, they find themselves isolated in the sea. A sea of lies, mistrust, spying and "So, who's this Jasmine at work?"". A scope is always worth looking into all the way down to the end, and through the lens.

Keep it up! It's a good start and I hope you're happy with what you've kicked off with! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:00, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Also, your Politics portal is genius. The introduction is a little meaty, but has some good stuff. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:54, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Deutsch?

Spriechst du das Deutsch, ich sage diese weil deine namme ist auf deutsch? Иитжак константин тробоски 13:01, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Ich spreche kein Deutsch. =( 'Nachlader' bedeutet 'reloader', ich denke... ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 13:57, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Du bist korrekt! Je hebt het juist! Tu as raison! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:17, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Love is fleeting...

But Barry Manilow is forever!

~Formerly Annoying Crap 17:42, 30 May 2009

HAHAHAHHA, my favourite 80s song SUNG BY MANILOW. Oh Zana! <3 <3 <3 ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 20:05, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey

Seeing as how you're the #1 IC critic, I was wondering if you could give me your long winded rant opinion on Wikipedia. Cheers, and I hope you're having a nice day in Oceania the UK. Saberwolf116 01:57, 31 May 2009 (UTC)

Aw, fine. It's a really, really, really, really 00s subject and I dislike talking about things that exist on the internet. I'd rather talk about the rising electrosynth themes that will make the 2010s, I even dream of a new era of new wave, only blended with the modern day professionalism that snakes through music, amidst all the money that's being pumped to and fro and the capitalists publishing mostly the genuinely torrid media that buzzes about the place like flies attracted to shit. Another reason that I dislike talking about this subject is because it falls in the category of man-made products where my response is always the same. But I will associate it to the website in question as much as possible.

Anyway, to answer your question, Wikipedia is a site I frequent myself, but just like everything else I do (apart from the music I listen to), qualms ripple in my every page turning moment. One can approach the idea of an "encylopaediathateverybodycanedit" in the exact same way as you can view just about everything else on the interwebs; it's going to be biased or wrong however way you dress it up. Nothing on the internet can escape that prejudice. From day one, a lot of people (mostly old) claimed that next to 100% of the internet would be an unreliable source, simply due to the lack of restrictions of what you could display. You could write a book in a obsessed fashion about horrific road accident victims with gratuitous pictures that veer into the unacceptable for anyone to look at. Nobody would want to publish that book, however, upload it on the internet and nothing will stop you. The idea of anything being on the internet at all does not get off to the best of starts.

Wikipedia is a 00s product, reeking with an alternative assault on information. It is very much a now thing, considering this decade has been seriously full of shit being pumped with money just to rake in the gullible fanbase and their wallets. In the same way that new things sell, Wikipedia can trace it's popularity to certain factors:

1. A catchy name that is easy to remember and type into the browser. The suffix helps no end either.
2. Everyone can edit it, and will get their contributions published. That's including six billion people, and whatever foreign objects land on your computer.
3. It is a union of information. Before the widespread access of information in a single titbit of media, you would have a far, far longer line of enquiry for research. Want to learn about petrol engines? Go to the mechanic's garage. Want to learn about animals? Talk to the vet in town. Want to learn about cooking? Go to the restaurant and stare at the food. And then as time progressed, you would only have to go to the library to find out the info you needed. But now, it only takes a few mouse clicks and a keyboard to instantaneously behold a treasure trove of statistics, facts, figures and trivia regarding the subject you want to know about. In fact, Wikipedia has made me believe research is next to impossible if I found myself in the 1800s all of a sudden. I'm not even sure if every town had a vet anyway.
4. Brand new approach to the collection of information. Oxford supplies encyclopaedias in book form, but who contributes to them? A selected group of individuals regarded as 'experts'. Then Jimmy Wales comes along and decrees high atop his biblical rocks that if everyone had the right to contribute information, everyone else would get the best information possible. Socialism on a website! Your contributions will be published instantly! Nobody has had the power to do this before.
5. It's also an idea that's received immense criticism, but still amounts to something. Just like horrible UK TV show, Britain's Got Talent, I find it a dreadful cataclysm of cacophony and clichés. A lot of famous people have said the same thing to the media, and yet others flock to the horrid TV show. Wikipedia attracts criticism like weapons attract idiots. A lot of people want to know about the subject, and may find themselves sucked in as a fan anyway. Wikipedia also attracts people who'd rather vandalise as well. That's what I used to do initially, and what do I do now? I delete vandalism where I see it and read the articles in turn.
6. Again, anyone can edit it. The scale of people who'd want to do so cannot even be prophesied. My cat could wander carelessly over the keyboard like the nonchalant non-entity he is, and it will be published.

But my opinion in a nutshell, certainly not in case you skipped to all this way, Wikipedia is just like every other merchant of facts and figures in the world; scribes, books, magazines, gossip, radio, whatever. It doesn't matter if it happens to be on the internet, or that your three year old may have edited something that leads to a Masters degree student to fail his exam, it really depends on what you choose to think of the facts given out. Wikipedia is not an encyclopaedia in the most heartfelt sense; it is as much as an encyclopaedia as Conservapedia is an encyclopaedia. It goes with the Kierkegaardian way of thinking. I can always invent a name and tell someone that's my next door neighbour, but I know that person doesn't exist. But the person I tell may very well be willing to suck in the info as a genuine fact. The neighbour is a small thing worth remembering, but what of the Nazi's denying the Holocaust to their own people? The citizens of Germany still lived on without knowing of the genocide, and they were still human beings. Opinions are different, but at the same time, easy to manipulate.

I use Wikipedia, just as I listen and consider every other factfile in the world. But I choose to disbelieve certain things I am told on the very same scale. As far as I know, I'm still a human being.

I hope this more general (and rough, since it's late here in Airstrip 1) response satisfies your query. Keep up with the PEEing by the way. =) ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:55, 31 May 2009 (UTC)

While your opinion on the subject of Wikipedia is without any doubt very much appreciated, I'm pretty sure Saberwolf was asking your opinion on the article titled "Wikipedia" (which was recently colonized). On a side note, you bring up a lot of good ideas, which could be used to improve the current article some more. So that's definitely a positive thing. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:05, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Holy stick on a boat. Well, I suppose the above 20 minutes could be used in some form. I'll read the article this time tomorrow. Honestly, the things I misread these days... ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:08, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Epic Fail. Lol.

In all seriousness, that was an interesting read, but yes, I did come for your analyzation of the colonization. Saberwolf116 02:24, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Alright then, I'll try and get into Uncyclopedia again later on. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 13:00, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

It's spinning because you're the one that nominated me! =D —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:41, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Its washing time!

Hamboozoo Lawi Boozoo want to say sank you, ya otta!

You gived your voice to make za interfiew on za front page. So I want to say sank you... Want to see my brobelor? I also take you to za byramids and show you good time, and for you only 10 American dollars. No, wait! Come back! I want money! What do I tell to little Ahmad when he says ya baba, get food?...

Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:42 June 3 '09

Award

Rabbi Techno would like to honour you with the coveted

BLUE SCROTUM AWARD
Which is given to those who have demonstrated remarkably excellent judgement,
impeccable good taste and faultless, all-encompassing wisdom
(by doing something like voting for ME to win WotM).
Well done and thankyou, from Rabbi Techno.

---

Where art thou oh great reloading one?

You are missed. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:17, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

It's called Thou art missed or something Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 23:34 June 17 '09

I fuck consistency up the arse. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:11, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

MrN is back, you're back

And only minutes in between. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:42, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

how dare you read whatever i type into this here box and publish it, and presume i have returned to anything of a societal basis. i may not be signed yet, good sir, but good things come to those who wait! polydor will be next! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:45, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

Well, at the very least, you're back for the following few precious seconds. Hey Nach! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:47, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

hello. however, i only checked uncyc just to post that facebook quip. now i'm going to return to my adventure of multi-instrumentalism, songwriting and journalism course. it is the only way i can escape from the voices in my head asking why i haven't filled in any promises, and departing them to curse and slander the dust i leave behind. good day. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:52, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

Noooo! Come back... come back! I miss you Nachy. Why hast thou forsaken us? --^Dame 23:55, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

because sometimes doing the same thing over and over and over and (etc) can be quite depressing. and for someone who was damn near close to living out the rest of his life as a hikikomori, this is something i need to avoid now. i had to cut out what little time i spend browsing the internet, stop listening to most forms of alt rock (mostly 00s) and electronica, lessen the amount hours i play vidgeogames, save money for once and so on. this meant i had to stop listening to the alt rock i enjoyed (as well as coldplay), stop spending my money on albums so often, i have to use my ps3 only for music reasons, and, most crucially (as it would seem), stop checking up on uncyc so much. so far, the plan is working brilliantly, and i don't know why my therapist did not suggest "stop listening to radiohead" before. now, it's mostly only 80s synthpop, tackling my long awaited dreams of learning piano (prior to keyboards and synth), guitar and singing, waiting for my crisp, white-as-paper suit to arrive, and a place in peterborough college studying how to be a blood-sucking parasite writing about shit i don't care about. but then i still have larger dreams. meanwhile, i hope you are doing okay yourself. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:06, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

All of that made sense. Except the bit about not listening to Radiohead. That is inconceivable. But yes, very well, carry on then. I'm fine thanks, questioning my own existence slightly now... --^Dame 00:15, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

i did not witness the dispirited temperament that accompanied the muse of radiohead (see what i did there), until i found my desire to play ideoteque only when the room was pitch black and everyone else was sleeping. why are you quizzified of your existence if i may ask? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:18, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Because most of the things you have listed as having stopped doing is what I do (except 00s is 90s, PS3 is Xbox360, piano is guitar and there is no therapist, and no white suits or college). I've also mostly been less active due to songwriting responsibilities. So I congratulate you on prioritizing, I suck at it. --^Dame 00:26, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

90s alt rock - some of it i've added to the ear block list. however, since i am learning blur's tender and muse's unintended at the moment, i've made exceptions for them just so i can research the tempo and vocal arrangements of the latter songs. however, stuff like grunge, house and britpop are mostly out for the time being. i suppose i'll have to be rich in order to enjoy listening to alt rock without it using it's subtle means to make me feel unmotivated for the rest of the day. the first week in years without listening to that stuff - and all of a sudden i just want to spend every hour of the day sitting in front of a piano or with a guitar, and think enthusiastically about the new people i'll meet on september.

also, get a therapist. i'll be fucked if i can think of something decent she's suggested to me, but therapy works even if you don't routinely slip anti-depressants with your ritalin. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:35, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

It was nice seeing you around these parts again, Nach. Good luck with any of the stuff you're doing right now. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:48, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Please forgive me

It was a mere misunderstanding. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:55, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Charlie are waitin' in the trees, man. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:00, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Charlie? You mean that Charlie?! Radical, dude! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:05, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildensternenstein

---

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:08, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

np ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:39, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Mount&Blade

If you really liked the screenshots, you'll go nuts seeing it in motion, believe me. When I got this game in 2008 I dumped every other 2008 game and I didnt even bother getting 2009's stuff... The game is highly moddable, with a huge modding community and literally dozens of mods. No bullshit, see for yourself. You can download the game at the website I've given you, it's sort of a trial till your character reaches level 7, then you have to buy (or not ;)) a serial key to unlock the game. It's worth it, believe me. Cheers, Nach! Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 03:54 August 16 '09

I have to wait until my account is recharged again anyway (meaning my acquisition of Civ IV is knocked back a few places), so a free trial of anything is welcome to me. I'm DLing the demo of Mount&Blade now, hopefully I'll find something to cure my later-summer boredom. Thanks for the suggestion! Is it all restricted to fighting on a horse though? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:50, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

no, there are cavalry, infantry, archers, horse archers, spearmen, crossbowmen, javelinmen etc. And best of all, no fantasy Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 13:01 August 16 '09

Yeah, I noticed that the kingdoms of France and England were in the game, I thought there'd be no fantasy, lol. The wide choice of soldiers is mouthwatering. The demo has finished installing, so I'll update Uncyc and play M&B. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 19:42, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my motherfucking article.

You are clearly a badass motherfucker.

—Guildy

---

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:25, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Capitalism sucks

But not as much as YOUR FACE. 20:43, September 15, 2009 (UTC)--C:\syndrome\_ 20:43, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

i'm so electable, my bombs are undetectable, my statues are so erectable, i'm the president of north korea ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:37, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Can I see your license and vehicle registration, sir?

Sir, do you know how fast you were editing? In a no-Nachlader zone? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 03:13, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

I tried being gay for a few weeks, but I gave up because it made me thirsty. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 03:19, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

Well congratulations. I've heard it can be hard to quit fags. Personally, I wouldn't know because I'm not British. Welcome back, by the way. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 03:25, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

Because you wrote it?

Well, maybe. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:20, 28 January 2010

i'm a facetious cunt limited to work and work appeal. banned of society stricken, from much blundered converses. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:22, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

And just where have you been?!

Your soup's gone cold. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 01:00, Jan 28 2010

As the Pope Gregory VII said; "I have loved justice and hated inequity; and therefore I die in exile." Laid/laying low until my whitewash of local society washes off. And also got laid, I guess. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 01:05, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

I can attest to that last part. With pictures. And receipts. And a frozen sperm sample. And a slight baby bulge. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:55, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

Really? I just thought your mother was fat before I met her. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 15:22, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

Hey...

what's with you being all angry and ticked off all of a sudden? This isn't the Nachlader I remember. What's wrong, dude? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 01:27, Feb 4 2010

Angry, moi? I'm most likely getting my wires crossed. I don't go to Uncyc as much as most of the people I annoy (and I don't go on Uncyc IRC), so local opinion (if not, fact) most likely goes against me. --"MORDILLO IS FUCKING FASCIST" 01:37, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Award from UN:REQ

This user created Battle of the Bulge in my Pants, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

np --nldr - MrN9000 is not "looking for idiots", IC was perfectly fine and there's nothing wrong with how whatever you want to do here. THEY WERE CRAMMED WITH POOR VOCAB CHOICES, THAT'S ITTTT 21:52, February 9, 2010 (UTC)

Camera obscura

I'm noteven going to wait for the lag to catch up. long page. Made some new edits in the last 20 minutes, check out the description of the children's birthday party, that was the most fun. It's now a mix of wiki links and uncy links, to satisfy everyone, much like my girlfriend. Tried to keep the high-brow tone but with more jokes. Much like my girlfriend. Al 15:03 16 Feb. MMX

An easy comparison to acknowledge, sir. Anyway, yes, I think the edits you made were superb and they slip in with the rest of the article as if seasonably. I noticed the Blake and Newton name-drops and I wondered if a differing first name could be added to each of them, much like Hooke is miss-attributed to his Heinlein counterpart, then it would fit in with the article's total humbuggedary.

BTW, your effort to make this article VFH is as commendable as the article. Most people, who VFH an article they previously had little to do with, just dump the article there and do little about any cricitisms raised. You on the other hand have been blasting artillery day and night to get this article through. --nldr 15:22, February 16, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you, nice compliments. I figure if an old article is nommed, and the original writer is long gone, then the nominator should be active both in answering criticisms and improving the article from the nom feedback (to me one aspect of a nom is it turns into a wider-audience pee rerview, and if the article is good to start with then it only improves it). On the names, I had fun with the Heinlein link. I've linked Hooke on your suggestion. On Blake and Newton, uncy has good pages on those so that's why the internal links, and the Newton page was featured. Good to meet you during this. Got to get off now and spend time in the world of nature. Enjoy. Al 19:04 16 Feb. MMX

I meant like putting a first name in with the links, of which are currently based as a last name terms. So like Theo Newton, which still links to the featured article and that. --nldr 19:34, February 16, 2010 (UTC)

I like Theo Newton, the brother who supported Isaac, some people may get the Van Gogh reference. I'll go pop that one in and leave the other names real. Al 12:44 18.2.MMX

Look at the camera obscura page, a Festivus miracle. Now if only Ptok's Polish brigade would come by and vote for it! Al de'Chain

Oops!

Wink. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:52, 1 March 2010

Heart. --nldr 14:07, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

IC Archives

As the current Big Chief Mucky Muck of IC, I see your point in the naming of the IC archives. It was that way when I took over, and I left it as it was, not knowing that it might be a problem. Of course "incident" is not necessarily a negative: it's the name of a cultural festival in India, and in Scientology refers to a key event in Earth's prehistory. But I can sympathize with your feelings. The two sections have been changed to Before The Challenge and The Challenge. I believe you did put forth a challenge, which can certainly be a good thing. But if you have a suggestion for renaming, I'd be happy to consider it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:12, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

You are correct when you say that negativity is not necessarily a bad thing. It's what I had intended - applying a hot iron prong to what I had thought was a flesh wound. I had applied too much heat however, and my words were taken the wrong way. Thank you for your understanding, it is satisfactory to me now. A name is not permanent. --nldr 01:57, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Why not just go by chronological naming? Nominally Humane! some time 01:59, 2/03/2010

Fine. But I claim No. 1. But then he who settles for No. 2 shall display envy. No. 2 murders No. 1, and No. 2 becomes No. 1. Then No. 3 displays his envy. And he murders No. 2 for No. 1. Then No. 4 displays envy, and so on and so forth. When it comes to No. 1,000,000 displaying his envy, No. 1,000,001 will struggle to think why he would follow his ancestor's footsteps in claiming the name of a man who died years before. --nldr 02:04, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Your Pee is Ready, Sir

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Phrase just as you ordered it, with a spritz of lime. --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 08:22 EST 6 Mar, 2010

You have been saved from destruction by tag or nacht

The Godly People at Imperial Colonization thank you for voting for Creationism (rightly featured 8 March 2010), and thus supporting America as The Rightful World Power. May God George God and George bless you!

On behalf of IC, I thank you for voting your conscience. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:58, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Copyright Lawsuit for Battle of the Bulge in my Pants and my User:Unknown user/Battle of the Bulge in my Pants This shit isn't funny!

Congrats on getting a nom for that article-you truly deserved it. However, for your own edification know that I came up with the same exact article and eerily similar content at least 2 years ago User:Unknown user/Battle of the Bulge in my Pants. Check the edit history if you want. I am not mad, nor do I want anything in return, just know that I came up with this article way before you did. I will be contacting my E-lawyers and will sue for infinity billion e-dollars.

Tell me, did you know about my article, or is this just eerie coincidence?

--

Sir U.U.

Neither, but a necessary eventuality. I had been reading and watching some WWII subjects and learnt about the Battle of the Bulge being the counter-Market Garden attempt by the Axis forces. The "in my Pants" suffix came to me like the Eiffel Tower made me think "that just looks like a giant penis". I do, however, note the remarkable similarity between the two versions; a teenager wakes up, borne with intention of venturing to school, sexual distractions incurred by a girl disturbed, etc. It could be linked with my situation just last year and your situation in 2007.

By the way, you're talking to someone who doesn't believe in "credit" being "issued" (for reasons including this exact situation betwixt you and me). The least facetious thing I should've done was refraining from voting on the VFH page late on (when vanity struck me aside), before an influx of fresh voters burrowed within. You could go as far as take the whole credit for the article, I'd only ever mention that I contributed towards it - a tactic you could easily effect yourself towards the article in question. --nldr 01:11, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Nach, I noticed you put up a new article named "People Who Like to Fuck Naked". You do know that I have one of the same name on VFH right now, right? I checked you IQ score, and yes, it is submoron, so I can understand why you would see another user has an article named something in plain site on their user page, write an article with that exact name, feature it, all the time being secure in the knowledge that the user has been away from the site for two whole weeks and hence is never coming back. The only problem would be is if the IQ score was wrong, and you have at least a moron level IQ, because anyone with a moron level IQ or above would not do such a thing. And if I would find out that that is the case--and even if you have a normal or, God forbid, an above normal IQ--then if I were in Unknown User's position I would shut the flug up and reason it out, that two great minds can sometimes come up with a fairly obvious name for a page if their attention happened to focus on the same phrase. Geez, there are entire lists of books with the same name. Now I can't spend too much time here, I have a great name for an article, "Chris Rock", but let's not broadcast that. Thanks. Aleister in Chains 21:23 21 3 MMX

My life plan is to complete and fulfil all things fresh and original that remain in the world. This is the only way I can salvage an individual role in a sea of human beings. Once this is done, I won't even take up a pseudonym, because that's been done, but go with my Anglo-French name and call credit for everything not done in the culture of the universe. Once I am done, all other artists will fall into a drab world where everything in the universe has been "discovered" by an egotistical, but intelligent race, despite everything already having been conceived in the mind of the first man to evolve. The money I will earn will be enough to sustain my seventy-year existence in a universe designed to last billions of years. I alone will be immortalised long before my impending death. --nldr 00:45, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Say, I just came up with a completely original idea for a parody encyclopedia called Uncyclopedia! I know that idea's original. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:11, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

I share the same room of birth as many others, but history will write otherwise. --nldr 20:47, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Camera Obscura

News! I emailed the author, and he told me the story of how it was created. He's in a English war reenactment group of some kind (I don't have the email printed out) and asked the group's photographer if he could make some of the pics look old. He then wrote up the page and put it both on their website and on Wikipedia. On the group's website their were big discussions if this was possible, if old obscura "photos" could be real and in the museum. People at wiki were confused to, but the more aware ones there told him to move it to Uncyclopedia, which he did. He was surprised and happy that people here are still aware of it, and I mentioned the VFH, he saw it, and last I heard he'd drop by to vote for it but hasn't as of now. So it does have a long history at various venues, here, wiki, and the devotee's own site. Pretty cool. Al en'chain 1:28 17 3 mmx

Hahahahaha, that's bizarre. He must be the funny one in the group to have thought of making the pictures look old. It's like weathering a modern painting of some historical person and passing it off as genuine. I'm willing to bet that that kind of side-stepping is what will confuse generations to come. --nldr 13:51, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Dood

Nice little start on your article. I'm starting up "ghostwriter" (off the requested list} on my word processor - a little robble robble to the heads of these pens-for-hire and the no-talent hacks that hire them. Except for Sarah Palin, she's far too smart for everyone and would have talked right over America's head so she needed one to dumb it down for the peasants. So anyway, I'm drawing a dull, boring blank on the Van Gogh thing. If there's any interest maybe you/me/Aleister could gang bang it? If not, nobody cares as usual. I've also been toying with various ideas on "Taxi Driver"(occupation) - another requested article. I have some good pics of the American "Cash Cab" guy who's posin' all tough in numerous photos. Travis Bickle time.--    18:58, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

I've hit a solid wall as far as Van Gogh is concerned and my thoughts have transferred since. The idea seems far too much effort, even if it was achievable (to lampoon a book is one thing, but to throw in another gaping topic is another). An article on the taxi driver occupation smells okay. I saw the film just the other week, a lot of themes were expressed with ferrying people from all kinds of backgrounds (a man running for congress who promises many things, a jealous husband who stalks his wife and talks of killing her, a child prostitute who tries to run away, a forlorn object of desire from a previous relationship) who still sit on the very same seat is a great drowner of unbalanced classes. --nldr 19:07, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

You need a picture chopped for that thing or do you have something planned?--    19:51, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

I left ransom demands at RadicalX's Corner. --nldr 20:02, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Vote for Good

The nom for "Talk:Gay Jesus" at Vote for Good is two away from Good, the first time a talk page would be so honored. Since whoring a VFG page is encouraged, there you go, get you and Doc over there and put the mudder over the top. And one your stop please take a look at "Sideboob" and, if you have faith in nature, "Poop throwing monkeys". Ah, poop throwing monkeys. Oh, by the way, Camera Obscura has sunk like a stone, rip. Peacebydobbs 00:50 23 3 mmx

It was just a few more days from going through via the well-there's-nothing-else rule, but oh well. --nldr 02:21, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

You did it! You put the first Talk page to be voted "Vote For Good" over the top!! Uncy History was made, and few people will know it. But your action today has propelled irony and religious persecution to new heights of humour. Yay. And Poop throwing monkeys, what can I say? They greet you with salutes. A humble and bowed servant of the Poop throwing monkeys 2:32 23 3 2mx

It is history to the people who care, that is all that matters. --nldr 02:38, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

Yes Al, a few minutes later

Your new user page article

Here is an item left over from the garage sale. Use it as a bookweight or a doorstop. Thanks for your vote! He will come. I know. We must wait. Aleister in DNA Chains 23:16 28 3 mmx

Standing ovation. Al de'chain 1:57 25 3 mmx

ta. waiting for drstrange now. --nldr 01:59, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

That's like waiting for Godot. I think he's coming. He's almost here. Al, waiting with you 2:04 25 3 mmx

I'm know he's coming. I think I can hear him through the trees. We will wait. Al in Chains 10:20 25 3 mmx

Maybe I was wrong. He may not come. So let's go, let's go. (They do not move)Al en chains

thanks for the nomination. the article exemplifies various capabilities of uncyclopedia that i'm attracted to: application for any writing style, big opportunities for photoshop, a brand of totally exclusive humour, a topic worth doing researching for, availability for one-liners and lists, a satisfying length and word count, a slightly vague title that can cause initial confusion ("is this article going to be funny/worth my time? nothing about the title says anything to me") and biased, godforsaken liberalism, and some other crap. --nldr 18:37, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Did you speak? Oh yes, you are welcome. The article is one of the best on the site due to detail and multi-level data containment. But none of that is relevant. There is really little to delay his arrival. The weather is fair, the animals are lazy today and have relegated their hunting to the gaps in their boredom. We should no longer wait for him to come. We should go. Let's go. (They do not move) AiChange 19:46 26 3 mmx

silent whispers amongst the corporation direct a movement impervious to the forest --nldr 19:49, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Have polished your first paragraph a little, subject to your approval, to lead the reader into the page a little quicker. Yes? No? Fuck you Al? Wonderful job, it makes me cry with wonder? Life is built of such. Al 11:40 27 3 mmx

it's okay --nldr 11:56, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Cool. Thanks. I tried to nom your kaleidoscope rifle image at VFP, per comments on the pages talk page, but kept failing at coding the nom right. If it finds its way there I will vote for it, it's just beyond my mortal abilities to put it there myself. Al, awhile later

It could do with slight mopping just around the edges, where the frame meets the scope itself, but only a total nitpicker would deign to irritate with this fact. --nldr 12:59, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

A thought before its nommed. I am extremely irritated by the inadequacy of the scope's edges, where the frame meets the scope itself. Aleister in Change 13:03 27 3 mmx

Superb, I am more interested in having the picture of a garguantan golf ball greet the side of the WTC gaining featured status instead anyway. --nldr 13:10, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Gay Pubs

Noel Coward would like to buy you a pint

'Ello, Noel Coward 'ere. You voted for my article on gay pubs in VFH, and in my estimation
that means I owe yer a pint.
You may be wonderin' why I ain't buyin' yer some naff cocktail wiv a funny name - troof is, I can't stand the
poxy fings. You may also be wonderin' why I'm talkin' like this - well my son, I'll tell yer. I just put that posh-nosh
gayboy stuff on fer the public, yer see. A man's gotta make a living.
Nah, let's get dahn the boozer and get pissed.

From "Big" Noel Coward.

---

Fuck you and your overlong talk page

I was not kidding when I said I have slow connections. So there I was, clicking on your username for a reason, and got stuck at this blank screen loading for ten minutes, while trying to edit code on another page that takes 5 minutes to load each preview! I hate you!

(Calms down) So... well... I was just wondering if I could get further feedback for my article as I've pretty much completed it. Your one-worded comment was very flattering, I did not expect that as I thought it might be too dry. It's now currently on PEE, and I'd like to hear more about what you think. ~ 12:22, Apr 6, 2010

Length is a quality of my life that does well to exhaust others. Anyway, I liked the concept of the article so I supplanted a single word of praisification, though it would take a PEE review to summarise opinions fully. I'll go dust off my old PEE template then... --nldr 12:30, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Please don't go too hard on me. =( Also, did you know that I stole the code of my sig off your sig? Back then I thought you weren't coming back. I was wrong. =( Are you some sort of otaku as well? ~ 16:48, Apr 6, 2010

Mood swings appear rampant in the userbase here, myself included. I have an interest in manga primarily, mostly as part of my quest to try everything (my only attack against losing interest in specific areas), but there is some really good manga out there. I haven't bought much recently, but GTO is my favourite at the moment. The comedy is superbly applied, plus it's pretty open concerning age-gap sex. --nldr 19:11, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

I like that one too, but I've only read a couple of volumes due to laziness. Oh wait... I remember why I stopped reading them! The plot got extremely repetitive. In the end every plot arch was: new character is introduced, new character tries to undermine the teacher, the problem is solved when the new character is either won over by the teacher's hentai charm, or leaves. Most serialised mangas are not that good at formulating a good ending. ~ 04:05, Apr 7, 2010

Well, thanks for ruining vol.5 for me. I had always wondered what would be so different about vol.28 of Negima or whatever. Genshiken finished up the plot after nine volumes, it wasn't repetitive, it's modern (2003-06 I think) and it's very funny. Initial D is another 90s manga, I don't like the drawing style of the characters, but I've never seen a car drawn so well and so lavishly. Advanced car porn there. I have a few Battle Royale vols, I guess I thought it was pretty hooking, but less said about that, the better... --nldr 12:52, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Genshiken looks interesting. I'll check it out when I want to procrastinate from schoolwork. Boy, people on Uncyc are nerdier than I thought. ~ 13:11, Apr 7, 2010

the review is done - if you want extra comments or whatever, here i am --nldr 17:46, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Moar rewriting

Rejoice, Nachlader! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

Thanks for the long, harsh review, which is like one of my longer reviews plus another one of my shorter ones put together. I'm not really that good at taking criticism, but I know I needed that. There was a concept that I thought was clever of me (though I'm probably wrong), and you either missed, or thought it was completely unfunny and did not warrant mentioning in the review. It's mainly presented in "Towards the Great War", "World War I" and the first paragraph of "Themes", and the concept is that Saki became exactly the sort of person he satirised in his own works. Another one is that although Saki's works contain endorsements to values no longer acceptable today, people (mainly me) still enjoy reading them without feeling guilty, because they are funny (sort of like a lot of articles on Uncyc, in fact). I was probably trying to refer to/satirise this phenomenon. So I guess you've made me see the error of my ways, because now that I think of it, not many people would understand what I'm getting at without a detailed knowledge of Saki.

Just so you don't think I'm somehow obsessed with British gays, all the gay aspects of my article are sort of based upon that when people write about Saki in modern times, they always conclude with great confidence that he's gay, and compare him extensively with Oscar Wilde. I guess this is sort of my over the top way of presenting that, although it would probably go over many people's heads like the lowered air pressure creating lift according to Bernoulli's principle (that one's supposed to go over your head too). In the WWI section, I explained the lack of gay jokes with the picture caption, because that was sincerely how I felt after reading a short paragraph of Saki's description of a really sad battlefield scene. Someday I'll dig it up for you but I can't be bothered right now. But anyway, I guess it's not really an excuse, and there's nothing for me to do but to try harder. Your long interpretation of the Unrest Cure went over my head too, so I think I'll just have brief paragraphs for each short story. The pictures were hard to do also, because Saki looks like he's taken only 4 pictures in his entire life. But really, thanks for spending a huge chunk of your life in reviewing my article. When I posted on your talk page I was actually thinking of more along the lines of your brief opinion summarised in 100 words. Reading back my comment I understand how it could have been taken to mean a pee review request. I would have said something but I just decided to go along with it. Sorry about that. ;) ...Yeah, you have any extra comments to give? ~ 14:22, Apr 8, 2010

Well, god dammit, I certainly wasted my yesterday afternoon not intending to do anything, didn't I? The article was on PEE, so I thought: why not? I lost the first draft of the review, which I remember being a bit more analytical - so I was half-determined, half-pissed at the review I finished with. It is just as well you feel that there were some concepts that were missed out, I could only furnish myself with a few hours worth of research about the guy, and everything that you feel I didn't get is probably what I'd say is a flaw. It's hard enough for me to understand some underlying themes about Saki when the text seems to want me to believe he's just another bonking Wilde on the sexual prowl.

Nonetheless, rereading the review now with less antagonised eyes - I find it unhelpful actually. It reminds me when I used to PEE more often; a lot of articles I got were genuinely un-salvageable wrecks (like this one. I was asked to review it twice or thrice - the author didn't learn a thing - so depressing) or perhaps they were just articles from puzzled writers: "will people get this? can you research and read it for me?" no, to be honest, I can't find many people who will get it. Even my dad doesn't know anything about some of the topics I researched for PEE.

Extra comments; I'm unsure what to say. Just see how you can make it accessible - or just move it and use it as a lesson for future projects. But if you come up with a different version of it, by no means, ask me again if you want (just make the 100 words thing clearer this time - one of my future evenings will entail suicide, and I don't want to have to get my diary out). --nldr 17:05, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

So, do you think if I reduced the gay references, and insert more references to those "concepts", I would be able to bring them out? Or is my article just like the "unsalvageable wreck"? I'll try to rewrite it, because I think it's a travesty that this site doesn't have a(n) (good) article on Saki. I also think this is the most helpful a review can get, actually. More helpful than those that repeatedly tell the writer to "read HTBFANJS". A reviewer can't make a crap article FA, the best they can do is tell the writer what they're doing wrong, and hope that the writer figures out on his own how to correct this. This is not ideal, I know, but this is the truth, more often than not. The "suggestions" that we're supposed to give often end up not fitting the author's original intentions, or are completely not funny to the author, or end up being too general (like read HTBFANJS, goddammit), so in the end, the author still needs to put in a lot of effort and brainstorming. Also, I am too cynical for my own good. ~ 17:57, Apr 8, 2010

Your article is 300% nothing like this one. It's not a "unsalvageable wreck" - I believe I made it clear that your Saki article has space for improvement. When I reviewed this the second (or third) time, I probably made it clear that the author could do with severing his hands for the good of mankind (That's cynicism, and my NotM summary remarked that the offensive nature of my reviews turned away other users, instead of gaining a scholarly reputation.)

Aanyway, I don't want to talk about reviews or reviewing. It's like going to the Louvre and discussing the fineness of frames. I should know. Bear in mind, I think it's a travesty that there is no article on 19th century telegraph poles from the cold streets of Greater Manchester (1845 to 1857 only please), but oh well. --nldr 18:09, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Wow. That's a harsh review if I've ever seen one. You're practically seething and spitting poison. Well, at least they're entertaining to read when it's not your article that's being reviewed. ~ 18:23, Apr 8, 2010

My fingers are in my ears! Na na na na na na na, less reviews, more telegraph poles, na na na na! --nldr 18:26, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Actually, reading this again after a year and a half is actually pretty great. It feels like I'm being proud of an imaginary son. Best part:

Then the final section is... Well, I'd rather talk about the time I got a large splinter in my foot and the gruesome appointment with the doctor (and a scapel) that followed than talk about the third section which appears to be the usual overused stuff. However, this story isn't overused in the least, so I'll talk you through it:

Once, when I was 12, I walked barefoot in this room in our house, however the floor was of pretty old wooden boarding and I was unlucky enough to step on a large splinter. It just slid in and left me with a slight limp. I ignored it. A few weeks later, my limp was becoming more evident, and my teacher at the youth hostel my class were staying in at the time asked me why I was limping. I told her what happened, and she immediately said that I needed to go to hospital to have the large splinter taken out before it became infected, in spite of the time being 11pm. So off we went to the hospital, walking all the way and we had to wait three hours (until 3am) for the doctor to see us. Eventually, the doctor saw me and a scene involving quite a lot of blood, hysterical screaming, some laughing gas that didn't work all followed. I was quite relieved when the doctor got the splinter out, she showed it to me, as if I had just been in labour and the splinter was my newborn baby. She threw it away though. I went back home safely.

Anyway, you see why I don't want to talk about the third section. And then there's the images...

Excellent. I totally ruled at PEE. --nldr 18:37, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

I know. I lol'd at that. Lol'd about 7 or 8 times at other parts (please don't be offended). You should come back and wreck havoc onto the halls of PEE. ~ 18:42, Apr 8, 2010

Eh. I was only lucky that UU is as respectable as a person can be and most users didn't seem to make a big deal out of my potty-mouthed PEEs. I think. Here's another one. --nldr 18:49, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Promoting your past exploits now aren't we? I can't believe the author took it so well. Also if I'm not mistaken, ChiefJusticeDS wasn't here yet, if not, he would have left long messages on your talk page to tell you to cease and desist. He told me my early reviews were harsh, although today I have clearly met the master. ~ 19:17, Apr 8, 2010

I mostly used PEE to test out my reviewing skills because it'll probably be what I'll end up doing in life, I wanted to see what would happen if I did this, or did that, etc. < my response --nldr 21:57, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Holy cow. How on earth did I miss this. Can I nom this for VFH? I mean—wow. That was a thing of beauty. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 21:59, Apr 9 2010

I don't do joke noms. But if you nom it I'd vote for it. ~ 10:50, Apr 10, 2010

I bribed them!

It was a good game, on wotm, and when I sent several "undecided" uncyclopedians play money to vote for me that was the difference. Works every time! Seriously, I would have "won" either way, my nom of you was heartfelt and meant. I hope you get it this month. I can't talk too much about it, sworn to secrecy and all, but you should see the clubhouse! And the secrets they tell you, did you know Chronium was a, damnit, they give you some kind of drug so you can't reveal the secrets, but at the end of May I hope you know them too. And thanks for your vote, appreciated. Al des chain 16:18 May Day MMX

Sorry about that

Someone posing as me answered your post on Ethines site yesterday. I've created this new account and am in the process of scudding the other one. I can only aplogise. Sorry! (but it wasn't me). Did I miss the bridge tournament? --Ohnogodnotagain2 07:02, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

Again, you're overreacting....you don't have to make a new account just because of one incident. —Pelozurian (talk) 07:03, 10 June 2010 (UTC)

What are you talking about? --British Petroleum2 16:50, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

Nach, why is Paizuri following me? He's already told me I don't have to make a new account when I was on Chief's page. Can I hide behind you? He's scary. Oh, and this is really me. Not pseudo-me. I changed my password.--Ohnogodnotagain 18:13, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

I'm hiding behind the president at the moment. --British Petroleum2 19:55, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, I didn't mean to stalk you. It's just...you're so handsome... --Pedozuri 20:45, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

Don't be fooled, it's an illusion. I'm computer-generated and don't exist on a genetic/molecular level.--Ohnogodnotagain 07:37, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

If you're still around

You might be interested to know that I've rewritten Saki. I think it's much better than before, although if you'll find my new jokes funny is another matter. ~ 05:30, Jun 16, 2010

It's nice and that (don't forget to categorise it.) --nldr 16:42, June 16, 2010 (UTC)

Danke

Thanks for taking the time to read HowTo:Be Reverend Zim ulator (or maybe read a few words before recognizing that the article is completely stupid), and bothering to vote on it for VFH. From your comment, I can't discern whether or not you read it in the spirit for which it was written, but that doesn't matter. All feedback reinforces my enthrallment to the hive-mind. If you hated that, you may hate this only slightly less. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:10, June 21, 2010 (UTC)

yeah, but feature? --nldr 00:52, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

No fucking Way! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:44, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

It's alright, but I think that featured articles should have humour that accessible to new readers, rather than the guy that's been our mate for the past seven gap years, who has shared all our good and bad times, hugs n' kisses with. --nldr 21:36, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

Obesity on the plains

Yo dude, what's up homey. I think I may have fixed the lead on that Fast Animals Slow Cousins page of Fattybelly's, is more needed? Geese. Aleister 13:34 30 6 MMX

Pee Queue thing

So yeah, at least one person has bitched in the forums that the queue is getting lengthy - it must be time for action! I'm respectfully requesting that every active peeing member do one or two reviews this week to hammer that sucker right down. You may already have done some, I'm just copy/pasting this message on to your page, so don't feel slighted, just feel I'm lazy - you'll be right. But if you haven't done any, do you think you could rattle a review or two off this week? Let's show 'em what we can do when we can be arsed! (Well, you never know, you might do it). --UU - natter 20:45, Jul 19

ohai

SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 03:34, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

Make that three

As you wish, then. Sir MacMania GUN—[03:44 29 Jul 2010]

Oh, and leaving messages about people leaving doesn't mean I recognise said leaving as big news, you know. I don't suffer from delusions of being the arbiter of significance in anything; I just feel sorry that they don't find the site's up to their standards. Sure, that doesn't make everything perfectly rational and unemotional, but it doesn't mean that what they do/say/whatever should be completely dismissed as whiny etc etc. Sorry for all this self-excusing and whining, by the way. Sir MacMania GUN—[03:53 29 Jul 2010]

You're talking about me as if I'm not in the room. I hate it when you do that. This relationship is over!--HM (T) 04:05, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

Gah! NO! Come back! Sir MacMania GUN—[12:21 29 Jul 2010]

The site, as always, is what people make it. If people don't approve of the "quality" levels there are two things they can do, one is to address it, the other slink off and go do something else... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Yes, exactly. If people clearly feel the site isn't worth the first option, that's a pity ... Sir MacMania GUN—[11:52 29 Jul 2010]

... but as I said, it would not necessarily be completely rational to leave the site altogether. Sir MacMania GUN—[12:18 29 Jul 2010]

Then again, it's their own decision, and it doesn't need to be rational. It's just a pity—and I'm leaving it at that. Sir MacMania GUN—[12:35 29 Jul 2010]

This is for you

	Writer of the Month July 2010

I checked and it isn't a clerical error, enjoy! --ChiefjusticeXBox 15:08, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

dammit --nachlader 15:27, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

Doesn't that make you double dumbass like me now? (Update: apparently not, I thought you won WOM before but it just must have been a feature or something) BTW, I got my favorite conservative(?) kook friend to go off on a rant about "handi-tards" who game the system at every opportunity. Priceless.--    15:31, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

WotM is handed out to so many wonky-cock Shitespeares (apart from your godly self) that I'd rather jizz blood in my own mouth than win it again. Link to your right-wing dickmuncher? --nachlader 16:13, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

No link, it's on somebody else's private FB page. Basically, another old Almaden acquaintance decided to post an urban legend (quote) which is popular with people who don't read books or research anything. ‎"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." ~ Thomas Jefferson. This particular lame swipe at "welfare" originated in the 1980's but has found new life with Obamanutters recently. I just had to be a killjoy and post a link that explained where that bogus quote came from and the page also provided the only thing Jefferson ever said that could even be remotely construed as being close to the alleged quote and naturally there was no basis in fact. Wil shows up and turns his game console to "on". After his first quick spar and affirmation that the phony quote somehow made sense anyways, he came back with this: ‎

"Not everyone deserves a handout, Steve. Like the up to 99 weeks of unemployment benefits for example... what a JOKE. And for the record, I've never received one penny from said program.

Anyhow, I would like to KEEP the majority of what I ear...n, in MY pocket, to care for MY family... not some fucking crack-head who could give a fuck about you, me, or the next person. A lazy handi-tard who won't do a thing for himself... but rather games the system here and there and at every chance that they get.

Yes, I know the type VERY well. Defend them all you want, Steve. A typical liberal you are, yes. One who likes to spend other people's hard earned money in the name of "social equality"... meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi travels the world in private jets, spending millions of dollars that we don't have, and yadda, yadda, yadda ffs.

Brother, can you spare a dollar (cuz I need a pack of smokes and a bottle of cold duck, don't you know...)."

So, I nailed him with the fact that one of our old Almaden friends, who happens to be on both our FB friend's lists, is this lady who has MS and is on disability - she's also conservative minded. Here's Wil, fresh off a week of lengthy diatribes about the evils of social liberalism and how he even hates unemployment insurance (once even calling it unconstitutional) but after goading him with "go give D a hard time, that bitch is faking the MS to swindle you" he gets all offended that I'd stoop so low as to bring D into it. That's when I unloaded on him. His personal page, where the last leg of this incident transpired, went quiet for about a day and a half and nobody came rushing to his defense. He eventually posted a very brief "OK you're right > NEXT!" The guy is amazing!--    21:32, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

And before I forget, this quote comes from a few days ago when I was getting too articulate and attempting to talk about hard nuts details and actualities instead of the sweeping generalizations of the standard laypersons(?) political discussion:

"Keep it simple Steve. Keep it real simple... Your long writes are quite articulate, but too complicated (on many levels) and therefore tiresome. In fact, over complication is the core problem of our government today... far too large, corrupt, entrenched. Dumb it down Steve, or no real fiscal or social progress will ever be made." Awesome stuff....--    23:13, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

He'll be claiming disability benefit soon, but only if your government accepts claims from guys who've had their balls yanked so far, he could hire it out as a trampoline to Olympic hopefuls and earn a living out of it. But at least he was lucky enough to be favoured enough for a salary.

The "keep it simple" quote... classic. I guess his philosophy is fairly basic though "give all the cash to good, churchgoing, hardworking, white families." --nachlader 23:19, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

*sniff*, I've been unfriended on FB. Funny thing, I was so close to simply blocking him from my news feed so I wouldn't be tempted to engage the endless Obama wah wah wah. I guess I did one better, unfriended and no more political rants coming out of him.....for now. I can still see his wall. ;-) --    21:03, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Let's have a party!

So it seems to have picked up a bit round here. Lots of old... er... faces? Anyway, how have you been? Whatcha working on? -^Dame 17:46, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

I've been fine, and yourself? The last thing I worked on seriously was a while ago now, I've been trying to focus any concentration I have now on my OU course. Not that there is any concentration to start with. --nachlader 20:28, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

HI NACHLADER

Hi. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101123 - 20:02 (UTC)

sup --nachlader 22:22, November 23, 2010 (UTC)

Ever going to finish that article? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101123 - 23:01 (UTC)

HAHA is that your new article? --nachlader 13:07, November 24, 2010 (UTC)

What? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101124 - 16:04 (UTC)

oh i thought you were making a joke --nachlader 16:41, November 24, 2010 (UTC)

I dunno; I might have been. I don't recall. Were you? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101124 - 16:55 (UTC)

yeah. i'm unsure i'll write anything on uncyclopedia again any time soon. my attention span is stretched enough as it is --nachlader 17:14, November 24, 2010 (UTC)

Silly attention spans, always... having their way with people... *twitch* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101124 - 17:17 (UTC)

you twitch as well? --nachlader 20:30, November 24, 2010 (UTC)

Apparently. So you do? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101124 - 21:22 (UTC)

no i meant that as in "as well as have ADHD, dyslexia, being-a-woman" not "as well as me." i am especially not a woman --nachlader 02:45, November 25, 2010 (UTC)

Oh... of course, how silly of me. And yes, I suppose I am that pathetic. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 02:59 (UTC)

lol --nachlader 03:28, November 25, 2010 (UTC)

Only 126KB?

Your talkpage isn't that long... really isn't. Also, thanks again for voting for Protagonist. Cheers. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101127 - 03:26 (UTC)

i never get any correspondence :( --nachlader 05:56, November 27, 2010 (UTC)

Well, why not? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101127 - 06:11 (UTC)

inactivity, alienation, unpopularity, coolness, isolationism, whatever. take your pick --nachlader 03:47, November 28, 2010 (UTC)

Coolness? Are you, then? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101128 - 04:00 (UTC)

too cool for some of the mockery on here. i just ignore --nachlader 17:23, November 28, 2010 (UTC)

That doesn't get boring, does it? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101128 - 17:36 (UTC)

i'm lonely as fuck, so sure --nachlader 19:46, November 28, 2010 (UTC)

Fuck is lonely? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101128 - 19:50 (UTC)

sure :( --nachlader 21:55, November 28, 2010 (UTC)

Aww, poor dear. Poor, crazy, hateful, psychotic dear... You'll never guess when I'm writing this. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101128 - 22:27 (UTC)

when? --nachlader 23:08, November 28, 2010 (UTC)

Then. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101128 - 23:28 (UTC)

stop fixing my broken wiki code ;( --nachlader 01:27, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

I'll say hi

From way over here

On the left of

the screen.

Aleister

1:47 29 11

Oh, you wanted it like that? Nevermind, then. And hello, Aleister. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101129 - 01:56 (UTC)

yes well, you started the whispering after all. hello aleister --nachlader 03:53, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

I'm always whispering. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101129 - 04:02 (UTC)

then how does your family hear you during arguments? --nachlader 17:19, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

My family makes a practice of not listening, anyway. Or of using actual arguments. They prefer to just yell at each other. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101129 - 22:04 (UTC)

i've stopped letting my mum trap me into reasons to scold me --nachlader 02:22, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

Eh, I've found ignoring mine to be quite effective. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101130 - 02:24 (UTC)

i kind of feel bad about doing that, eventually --nachlader 06:07, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

Since that's her primary tactic as well (besides yelling, anyway), I don't. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101130 - 11:28 (UTC)

wouldn't you feel bad if she died and you had ignored her most of your life? --nachlader 13:07, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

I do therapy

On the side.

The left side.

Que sera, sera,

Whatever will be,

Will be.

That will be

120 euros please.

Aleister

13:54 30 11

I only ignore her when she's annoying, though... *shifty eyes* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101130 - 17:31 (UTC)

oh, you made it sound like that was always the case --nachlader 17:59, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

It was when I was a teenager. But then again, I suppose that's fairly normal when a nerd falls in love with its first computer, anyhow... ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101130 - 19:55 (UTC)

i don't fall in love with technology; i just use it until it eventually breaks --nachlader 20:13, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

I use it obsessively until I break. *twitch* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101130 - 23:25 (UTC)

and have you? --nachlader 07:23, December 1, 2010 (UTC)

Probably. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101201 - 07:42 (UTC)

;( --nachlader 08:26, December 1, 2010 (UTC)

Forum:Uncyclopedia has far too many users

Edit conflict! I was about to reply with relief at no longer being the slowest on the site to realize that everyone else is joking. But your reply to him is better. Spıke ¬ 23:25 11-Dec-10

hueheuehheueheuheuehueheuheuehueheh --nachlader 23:36, December 11, 2010 (UTC)

Phew! Your move again in the Forum! Spıke ¬ 23:50 11-Dec-10

This is awesome. I love you guys! 1234 ~ 23:54, 11 December, 2010

Now, Lyrithya, don't spoil it; let's see how far Iwillkillyou takes this. Spıke ¬ 23:59 11-Dec-10

Me, spoil it? Unless he actually comes here, I aint doing squat to do so. *huggles you both and runs off* 1234 ~ 00:02, 12 December, 2010

you two do realise you're lighting this controversial talkpage up like a christmas tree in the recent edits log, right? --nachlader 00:22, December 12, 2010 (UTC)

I can't imagine it being otherwise. But not everyone reads RecentChanges. I only started recently. It's depressing, and I usually get sucked into reverting a vandal. Spıke ¬ 00:28 12-Dec-10

Your talkpage

Isn't long enough. We should do something about that. 1234 ~ 08:16, 25 May 2011

I massively hate it when people just attract my attention for this. --nachlader 08:31, May 25, 2011 (UTC)

Sorry. Would you rather I draw your attention to that article we were sort of making? Something about... sewing. Yes. It was coming along nicely... continuing could be nice as well. Except I don't even have time to continue. o__o 1234 ~ 08:42, 25 May 2011

Neither do I, sorry. --nachlader 20:58, May 25, 2011 (UTC)

At least lots of it is in itty-bitty print, so that makes it seem less long. Where ya been, and when ya comin' back? Never mind. Go away now. Aleister 21:05 25-5-'11

p.s. then I was gone for most of six months. Come back, come back, the birds sing. 22:09 8-1-'12

User talk:Nachlader/Pepin the Short