User:DrStrange/PracticePage

Featured Article: HowTo:Pick The Perfect Turkey

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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Goober

Fucking Hippie

TOP SECRET

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Where's the sense of peril?

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WARNING! This pathetic userpage was created by some noob!!

You should only view this page after watching several hours of quality online porn

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It's Naked Barbie Time! Times are tough out there but Barbie™ and all of her friends sure know how to show their appreciation for your generous vote to feature Economic Collapse Barbie™ They'll be seeing you in the bathtub later on tonight!

Thanks For Being Groovy! I am both deeply humbled and appreciative of your vote to promote me to Knight Grand Cross of the Order and shall send the magic van round to your flat with virtual contraband

Thanks For Buying Our Book! Me and Elmo take bodily functions seriously and If you enjoyed Menstruation: A Guide For Men, be sure to check out these other books in our series: Why Is There Blood In My Toilet? BOOGER! (With Oscar The Grouch)

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'PARTY LIKE IT'S SATURNALIA!'

Io, Saturnalia!- Eat, drink and treat your masters with disrespect!

Happy Hedonism from the Saturnalicius Princeps
NOW START DRINKING JAGERMEISTER WHILE WEARING UGLY SWEATERS AND SILLY HATS

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WELCOME TO VORTEX 102 The first semester will cover the entire spectrum of human biological vortices, with the first quarter focusing exclusively on the colonic vortex. In this animated simulation, the event horizon (colon) can be clearly distinguished. Unlike the hydraulic, atmospheric and gravitational vortex, the biological vortices aren't open ended systems with dubious conclusions as to where the crap goes in and comes out. Since biological systems are easily identifiable and make for an easy study, we'll be spending a lot of time on them. By understanding the biological vortices, we may glean insight into the larger picture. The foundation of all knowledge starts with the colonic vortex so study this animated gif for no less than an hour a day for the next week. Thank You! Dr S

'THANKS FOR YOUR APPROVAL!'

As a Commander of the Order I shall uphold the sacred duty to be funny, not just stupid and to make Codeine's Mum proud.

As your NOTM for December 08' I am deeply humbled
I APPRECIATE YOUR VOTE AND SHALL UPHOLD MY RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A TOTAL GENIUS FOR CHOOSING MY CARNIVAL FREAK SHOW

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I Told Her Thanks For Voting To Feature Private Eye ....but she looked at me like I was wearing orange in the St Patrick's Day parade. I wasn't sure if that was fog behind me or if my favorite place for take-out Chinese food had just went up in flames but I knew that I'd better make this quick either way. "You were great, kid" I told her but her facial expression never changed. She kicked off her heels and proceeded to put on a pair of roller skates but she looked about as comfortable as a woodpecker in the petrified forest. She rolled away into the night, leaving me standing there like a wide screen TV on layaway. I took another sniff of the air and now I was sure, Chang's Wok Inn was definitely on fire and it looked like it was going to be another night of hamburger helper and "Juggs" magazine.......................

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELL!! Your vote of confidence is crucial for our continued efforts to realize the galactic potential of Judgment Inc. Teamwork will be essential in the pursuit of our goals and we appreciate your patience during this transitional phase of our growing company and it's subsidiaries. I can assure you that your sacrifices are being noted and the management team suggests that you to read the book of Job as many times as possible in order to make your life seem more like paradise by comparison. Don't forget that first born males are due by the end of the fiscal year so don't delay submitting your offering. Thanks!

STOMPING THROUGH THE FABRIC OF YOUR SOCIETY Seriously though, where would you be without me? Would drama ever be the same again? It's so very simple. The great monster rises from the water and pauses dramatically while shimmering in the moonlight. He slowly looks into the camera and utters a deep resonating scream that encompasses all our deepest fears. Spotlights search the dark horizon to find his massive hulk of reptilian glory a mere kilometer from the heart of the great industrial city. Slowly, the great beast steps onto dry land and his rein of terror begins. Buildings crumble before him as he appears to be endlessly searching for something. Something to appease unknown demonic desires as yet to be defined. Of course, it's really just an act. The confused searching thing gets em' all nervous, that's for sure. The bottom line is simple. Please don't use atomic weapons, OK? Your vote for Godzilla vs. Vaginus is a step in the right direction and hopefully some measure of your mammalian guilt will be relieved. Thank you so much. ;-) xxx Gojira

Hey Look! It's only filled with happy sand guys!! I swear to god, we're going to lose this war if Hitler keeps sending me on these ridiculous wild goose chases. We wasted a whole year running around Europe to look for the Spear of Destiny and all we found was a bunch of people who claimed to own it. We must have killed fifty people and all we have is a truck full of worthless, rusty spear heads and rotting wooden poles to show for it! Now it looks like we'll be spending 1942 finding out how many people have an Ark of the Covenant and collecting a pile of dusty, acacia wood furniture for the Fuhrer in the process. This is not why I became a Nazi. The bling with all the swastikas is nice but I look like Black Leather Jacket Dork when I'm standing here in this dark, musty craphole with the likes of Captain Doofus and Towel Head Priest Guy!

Thank You For Finally Taking Out The Trash Unfortunately, the situation in the kitchen has not changed. I made it a point to not create a single dirty dish in this sink for the very purpose of demonstrating to you that the mess in the kitchen is not somehow our problem but is, in fact, your problem. Technically, that makes it my problem as well but said problem is one of inconvenience as opposed to the complete negligence inherent in your failure to clean up after yourself. It's also come to my attention that you and your friends have been urinating in the kitchen sink, despite the fact that it's full of dirty dishes. while your reluctance to touch the dishes is understandable it does not form a basis for me to empathize with you. While I shouldn't be bargaining with you again, I'll agree to clear a path to the bathroom sink so that everyone will have a place to urinate. All you need to do is simply dispose of the dirty dishes. We'll buy more at the flea market.

Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome To Violence ...the word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favorite mantle still remains... sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled. Yet violence doesn't only destroy, it creates and molds as well. Let's examine closely then this dangerously evil creation, this new breed encased and contained within the supple skin of woman. The softness is there, the unmistakable smell of female, the surface shiny and silken, the body yielding yet wanton. But a word of caution: handle with care and don't drop your guard. This rapacious new breed prowls both alone and in packs, operating at any level, any time, anywhere, and with anybody. Who are they? One might be your secretary, your doctor's receptionist... or a dancer in a go-go club!....................................................

DON'T FORGET TO STUDY THESE MOVIES TOO!

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BUY MY BOOK! Uncyclopedia:VFH/Youth NEW EDITS!

Buy My Book!

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Chicken Soup Of Death

The Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything

1. 1The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog
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Dr.Strange Dr.Strange

		lol i vandel ur paige

Types of trucks

Small calvin pee stickers

Medium

Large

Types of truck people

Rednecks: Hemi?

Hillbilly

Jocks

Posers

Homeless

Let's Dance

Let's dance
Put on your red shoes and dance the blues
Let's dance
To the shit they're playing on the radio
Let's swing
Wild bullshit lights up my mind
Let's swing
Swaying through the supermarket to the checkout line

And if you say dance, I'll dance with you
And if you say buy, I'll buy
Because my love for you, degrades me through and through
If you should spit
Into my face
It tastes like Big Gulp!™

Let's dance
Do you feel like a whore?
Let's dance
Do you think that's all I'm good for?
Let's swing
Look, deep into your wallet
Let's swing
Under the billboard, the ridiculous billboard

And if you say work, I'll work for you
And if you say free, I'm free
Because my love for you, degrades me through and through
If you should screw
Me in the ass
It still feels like Charmin™!

Put on your red shoes and dance the blues
To the shit they're playing
To the shit they're playing on the radio
Under the billboard
The ridiculous billboard
Let's shop!
Let's spend!

Store

By Product Type Shirts Hats Mugs Software Misc.

Poo Lit

The 7th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise has come to a close! This installment of Uncyclopedia's bi-annual competition featured an interesting amount of tie scores given directly by individual judges as well as being present in the overall scores. Recent competitions have featured much more decisive scoring but this time around the points were more evenly distributed amongst the entries. As the winning and co-winning entries hit VFH, we're seeing levels of voting that haven't been seen in awhile. The first article nominated to VFH from the competition also came with a bold prediction by one numbskull, who questioned his existence if Karl Lagerfeld did not receive 20  For. votes. At 03:57, 11 April 2009 the 20th For vote was cast by Thekillerfroggy and it's safe to say that the author of this instant Uncyclopedia classic should be considered the overall champion with his three entries garnering him two first place articles and one second place finish. Unscrupulous Unsignpost reporters stalked found Modusoperandi while he was receiving longevity treatments in a Côte d'Azur country club and asked him the following softball question: "Who was your favorite character in the 70's hit sitcom Barney Miller?" to which he answered "While each member of the cast had appeal, as each represented part of America's "Melting Pot", I found the comparatively minor character of Inspector Frank Luger (far right), with his high state of partly-sober curmudgeonitude, to be especially charming."

One of our winners was not only a perfect 1/1 by winning the best rewrite category with Money but Sycamore also received the vaunted Writer of the Month trophy for March 2009!
Another plink user that fared well with plink his outright victory in the best plink mainspace article category was GlobalTourniquet, plink who wrote an article titled with a plink name that is difficult plink to recollect at the moment plonk. He also had two other entries that received 1st runner-up status, so it was a good showing for the artist formerly known as Thomas Pynchon's left Nut.

A user that happens to wander in and write us an offering on occasion claimed a share of first place in the alternative namespace category with the UnNews article Obama unveils education reform plans. Monika should drop in more often!

Marvel Comic Editing Example

• Several full pages were scanned in (using my $30 scanner). They all had to be rotated and cropped.

• The pages were then chopped up into relevant sections (all of the "Red Skull" origin frames have been removed) and a story board was created. You'll notice that not all the scan shadows and sections stuck together have been totally polished, you can still see the join lines and shading on the edges. These original frames were hand drawn so the geometry got tricky when attempting to join panels together that weren't intended to be.

• Using the cloning tool on my image editor (Compositor for Mac, cheap) sections of blank space are "cloned" over the text to remove it and still look like the original comic. The page numbers were left alone but could have been removed. The trickiest clone work was on the last panel with the crude blue screen at the end. My years in the printing industry helped me on this project.

• The text was all added in "on the fly". I really didn't know precisely where this was going beyond what was stated on the first page. I went frame by frame and just "wrote it". I couldn't pre-write because I didn't know if I'd have space for anything pre-produced in the available spaces. It just kinda happened. Choosing fonts and sizes was a difficult process. The difference between their emphasis font and casual font, hand draw, was tough to duplicate. I stuck with almost all comic sans fonts that varied in extended, condensed, size, etc. The outline/shadow effect on my Compositor sucks. I could have done a better job of emoting certain words but constantly ran into space constraints and the limitations of my tools.

It's not as much work as a researched, lengthy article but attempting to throw something like this together is treacherous and could end up looking like a lame MST3K job with people farting, etc etc. I almost didn't attempt to do this for that very issue. It was a daunting task that required a lot of concentration. The story had to be focused and relevant and not randomly "reactionary" to what's been drawn in the panels.