Forum:So I have some smarties

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... And a face mask (that looks like a surgical mask) made of toilet paper (unused), because I made a bad job of using the shaving foam method, instead of the usual electric razor, to shave thyself, and irreparably cut myself (on face) numerous times in the process. The mask does a nice job of holding in the blood from all seven cuts. Despite this, my face still looks pretty cool and my hairstyle remains superb.

So anyway, that means I can't eat the smarties I had rustled beforehand. So instead, I segregated them by colour. Overall I have: 3 yellow, 3 pink, 3 red, 4 green, 5 blue, 6 brown, 6 violet (purple?) and 7 orange. I might as well mention that the mini-smarties boxes that they offer now have mini-smarties now, instead of the full sized fizz-fog that formerly dwelled within. This explains why I have 37 smarties overall.

So already, there are a multitude of faults with all this maths. First, I have 37 smarties. This in itself foreshadows bad news - an old number of smarties, meaning that there will be a disruption of fair play regarding the personnel of each of the colours. Naturally, as we all know now, there is a clear misfunction with the arrangement of smarties that my box contained. Most importantly: I have 3 yellow smarties and yet 7 orange smarties. The same may be applied with the orange and pink ensembles, who are similar in quantity as the yellow group, however I can hardly stress enough the importance of the latter colour group having at least more than just 3 smarties. I usually aim for the yellows first when munching into a packet of smarties, and I can not imagine how I could react to running out of yellow smarties already after just 30 seconds worth of smarties enjoyment. They just so happen to be my favourite target.

Who likes yellow anyway? Precisely my point, but imagine in 1930s Europe, if there were only 9 Jewish people and a kosher dog to be found in the whole continent. Hitler would be furious. As I am, in finding out that there are only 3 yellow smarties available in my aforementioned sweet packet. I may not like the colour too much, as it deeply clashes with white paper, but it does hold it's own unique taste. Unlike the 7 orange smarties.

I decided (still wearing the mask) that the best thing to do would be to play 1950s America and force the orange smarties off the blue smarties' bus, because they're Cherokee redskins. The 3 yellow smarties shall be left for last, to sooth equality issues within the packet. Was this the best decision? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 21:54, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Since when did we start putting forum topics in mainspace? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 21:56, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

wtf how did this happen? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 21:59, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

I think you'll find you are mistaken, gentlemen. --UU - natter 22:00, Feb 23

I love edit conflict. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 22:01, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

No, I definitely only have 3 yellow smarties. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:02, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

The only number that matters is that of the orange smarties, which are nicer than the others, tasting, as they do, faintly orangey. The others could be any colour for all I care. Your statistics are therefore irrelevant. --UU - natter 22:05, Feb 23

I love smarties. I might read this forum post. Smarties are my favorite candy. Don't like the yellows much anyways. I don't shave very often. --TPLN 22:07, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Indeed, the orange smarties do possess a certain zest. However, one must persist that 7 is too many when there are so few yellows. I could care less about the rest, partial to green as I am. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:10, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Well, I liek Smarties no matter what flavor they are. S-984 22:11, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Actually, you said "3 orange ... and 7 orange." Does that make 10 orange? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 22:13, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Taking a second look tells me there are 3 red, so I obviously mistook the colours. Rectified. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:16, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

So many bleeding mistakes. No wonder it went into mainspace. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:17, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

When you eat your smarties, you're supposed to eat the red ones last. The order in which you eat the other colours is immaterial, provided that their consumption precedes that of the red smarties. This is because the red ones are carcinogenic. That means "tasty". Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:35, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

That is, if you believe getting cancer is a nice thing to do. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 22:40, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Which it isn't, by the way. My grandfather died of it. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:55, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Personally, I believe in just throwing every last one of them into my mouth and seeing how it tastes. VT 02:13, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

The EXACT same thing happened to me a while back...

There I was, just hanging out with a couple friends at the skate park trying to figure out the right way to go about things. I thought about saving the flavors I liked best for last, which would ultimately leave me with a more satisfactory aftertaste. However, if I were to eat the bad colors first, I'd wind up with a terrible fore-taste, which could wind up dampening the overall experience of eating the good colors later on. So, eventually I settled on alternating between good and bad flavors, starting with bad and finishing with good, and just as I was about to start eating, my friend Josh speaks up.

"Hey James," he says to me. "Did I tell you that this morning I had Reeses for breakfast?"

And I'm like, "Woah. You had CANDY for BREAKFAST?"

He says "Not candy. Reeses Puffs Cereal!"

So I try a bite! SUDDENLY MY TASTE BUDS ARE ROCKING OUT TO A BLAST OF CHOCOLATE AND PEANUT BUTTERY TASTE IN EVERY MOUTHFUL! REESES PUFFS CEREAL! IT'S REESE'S... FOR BREAKFAST! - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 23:53, Feb 23

WOW! Your name's James!? So's mine, dude! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:19, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Dude! /me air guitars. Do you also frequently reminisce about cereal? - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 01:25, Feb 24

Oooh! This is like a Philip K Dick book, like Harold and Kumar in the High Castle or that one about electric sheep, but in this one you spend most of the novel thinking that a single person is named James, then it twists and it turns out that everyone is named James! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:08, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

WE ARE ALL REPLICATORS FROM THE BLADE RUNNER CALLED JAMES ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:31, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Do I!? Once, we only had a little bit left of every cereal box in the cupboard, Corn Flakes, Coco Pops, Rice Krispies, Bran Flakes, Golden Nuggets, Cookie Crisp, Shredded Wheat, Nesquik and porridge. I needed my daily one full SUPER-NOURISHMENT bowl of cereal every morning, so aided with some brandy, I put every little bit of the above cereals in a bowl, splashed milk all over it and ate it all up! I totally threw up until lunchtime.

But then yes, this is the best I can do belonging to a nation with such lack of imagination when it comes to cereal. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:31, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Electric sheep? WHERE?!?!?! VT 01:33, 25 February 2009 (UTC)