User:XDshempXD

XDshempXD

Birth Date	13 January 1998
Nationality	Mexican
Religion	thisclose to Catholic
Spouse	All you need to know is that I belong to a guy.
Box turtle (male, born c. 2000, adopted 25 May 2014)

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Very strange quotes

I'm a lolita, not a child bride. Have a nice day!

“You're so sexy!”

~ boyfriend on me

“Sha-zuuuuuuuu!”

~ Stewie Griffin's European See-and-Say

“Without a good song, there can be neither love nor children. All that remains is naked sex. But that is on the internet.”

~ Eduard Khil on sharing his wisdom (he really did say this)

“My favorite thing in life is sex. My second-favorite thing is ice cream.”

~ actual quote from Roberto Carlos Braga

Some more of Khil's wisdom

In 2010, during a performance in Moscow, full of young fans (he called them "grandchildren"), Eduard Khil posed them a random question. hee hee hee!

Khil: Who here knows when Yuri Gagarin made his flight?
some kid: 1951?
Khil: Close enough, grandson, but you were off by 10 years. So, learning is necessary. Not getting drunk in the club.

About me

I know you don't like to dance but I do! So just calm down for five minutes! haha

“Gringos, what are they good for?”

~ me on gringos

• I am of Aztec, Mayan, and Korean descent.
• I like scrunchies, but they don't always stay in my hair.
• I hate when that happens.
• I'm not that funny, but I do write good set-up.

Articles I've written, with a LOT of help from my friends

The schnauzer is male and his name is Prince. The terrier(?) mix is a female named Pecas. They really like me.

I love you Prince! When will I get to keep you!

The articles are separated into these categories, in the order in which they were written, within their respective categories. If this makes no sense, it is because I am very stupid indeed.

Articles I helped with

• Bing Crosby
• The Three Stooges

Wikipedia would say that this is cruft

• Roberto Carlos Braga
• HowTo:Write incoherently
• UnBooks:Sexually suggestive songs by Roberto Carlos
• UnNews:Roberto Carlos turns 71; awkward things happen
• UnBooks:Rei Roberto Carlos (translated from the Portuguese)
• UnNews:Braga to the women: 'Feliz natal! I have given you a troll!'
• UnNews:RCB's Facebook: "Luciana's second daughter is here"

UnNews

• UnNews:Davy Jones dies, age 66; nobody cared
• UnNews:Spring break not a break for anybody
• UnNews:I am not making this up! The cheetah is extinct
• UnNews:Giants more likely to die, studies say
• UnNews:Big Tex dies; many children rejoice
• UnNews:Hebe Camargo dies
• UnNews:It's NOT Macho Time, nor will it ever be again
• UnNews:Mayans: 'Made ya look!'
• UnNews:Big Tex is reborn! Run for the hills!
• UnNews:Nelson Ned, midget Brazilian singer, dies

Other shitty articles

• Dyscalculia
• Raphael (singer)
• Camilo Sesto
• Carlos Gardel - Failed VFH!
• Robert Wadlow
• Ganbu Style
• Simone Bittencourt de Oliveira - Featured!
• the Veloso siblings
• Ana Gabriel
• Why?:Repeal statutory rape
• Eduard Khil - Failed VFH!
• Arkady Ostrovsky
• MACHOs and WIMPs
• UnScripts:Yes, I'm a lolita - A coming-out story
• UnBooks:Mummy, why is father so old? - This one is recommended for the lolitas who have young children. Sort of to explain why the age difference exists, if a child ever asks. WARNING!: Very inappropriate!
• Muslim Magomayev
• Valery Obodzinsky - I need some help with this one, please

Absurd photos

• 

  Click on the image if you have questions.

• 

  Fuck you!

Userboxes

This user is Mexican, and has crossed el Río Bravo. They don't understand gringo language.

♀

This user is a girl, and is made of sugar, and spice, and everything nice.

♀

This user likes to write biographies of Russian artists; they have lived such fucked-up lives that very little joking is required.

I have dyscalculia, meaning I do not understand the average clock. I make up for it by being very good at writing.

This user is a fan of Roberto Carlos, and wishes they could play with what's left of his hair and give the king a kiss.