Arkady Ostrovsky

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Arkady Ostrovsky
Arkady Ostrovskij.jpg
Birth Date25 or 12 February 1914
Birth PlaceSyzran, Russia
NationalityRussian, of course
Death Date18 September 1967 (53 years)
Death PlaceeSochi, Russia
OccupationComposer
ReligionJudaism, probably
SpouseMatilda Yefimovna Lurie
Mikhail Ostrovsky (b. 1935)
Websitehttp://a-ostrovskii.narod.ru/ (users can find so many interesting pics here)
"Arkady, what are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking about how sexy you are, Matilda dear."
"Who wants candy! follow me..."

“I think that these songs will be in our hearts and in our memories for a long time.”

~ Eduard Khil on Ostrovsky's compositions, in a video (see notes)[1]

Avraam Il'ich Ostrovsky, better known as Arkady Ostrovsky (Russian: Аркадий (Авраам) Ильич Островский) was a Russian-Jewish composer. Presumably, that is why he used a fake name.[2] He is best remembered for extremely optimistic songs like «Лесорубы», songs full of feels such as «Песня любви», children's songs like «Спят усталые игрушки», and plainly weird ones such as «Круги на воде».

Life[edit | edit source]

Arkady Ostrovsky was born 25 or 12 February 1914. Why does he have two birthdays? Because this was before Russia used the Gregorian calendar. His father Ilya had wanted to be a pianist, but because he lost a finger, he had to kiss that dream goodbye and settle for tuning the pianos instead. Since 1927, Arkady lived in Leningrad. From 1940 to 1947, he worked as a jazz pianist for fellow Jewish musician Leonid Utësov. During this time, Ostrovsky made some of his first compositions, which Utësov performed almost entirely for the lulz.

But then, in 1948, Ostrovsky's big break happened when he met this one guy, the poet Lev Oshanin. They became friends, and together they went on to create many well-loved songs for many years. Possibly the best-known of these was «Пусть всегда будет солнце!» (1962) also known as «Солнечный круг». But outside of Russia we can just call it "Let there always be sunshine!"

Throughout the 1960s, Ostrovsky seems to have had backyards on his mind. He wrote songs with titles like "Not in my backyard, you dirty Jew" and "Why don't we do it in the yard?" These songs (eventually a total of six) were inspired by his amorous misadventures with his wife... in random people's backyards. Needless to say, the neighbors did not approve.[3]

Arkady Ostrovsky's compositions have been performed by such random singers as: Eduard Khil, Joseph Kobzon, Muslim Magomayev, Maia Kristalinskaya, Edita Pieha, Oleg Anofriev, and Leonid Yekimov. So now, let's play a game of... How many of these people do you the readers even know? (Russians may disregard this.)

Joseph Kobzon, who also happens to be a Jew, remembered that Ostrovsky once suggested a pseudonym he could use. Ostrovsky was like, "Hey bro, we're both Jews here, so we both know how that is. What if you changed your name, so that nobody else knows you're Jewish? I'm gonna call you... Yuri Zlatov." To which Kobzon was all, "Nope." Ostrovsky tried again: "Why not? Almost everyone has forgotten that my name used to be Avraam, so would you be a mensch and at least give this some thoughtful consideration?" And still "Nope." Instead, Kobzon decided to join the Communist Party, where somehow he managed to be the least communist out of all of them.

One of Arkady's hobbies was making home-movies of his family and friends. Perhaps nobody had the balls to tell him that he was being a creepy creep. LOL

In September of 1967, the first Festival of the Red Carnation was inaugurated in Sochi. Ostrovsky was invited, but unfortunately by then he was already dying from a gastric ulcer. Nevertheless, he totally wanted to go. But 15 September, the ulcer perforated. Despite all possible efforts, three days later he was no more. When all his fans said goodbye at his funeral, there were so many of them that it was literally impossible to walk down the street! At his tomb, there is a stone engraved with the words "Let there always be sunshine!"

Arkady Ostrovsky had had two goals in life: for people to like his songs, and for his son Mikhail to be significant in the world. And it seems that he had achieved both of these things. He lived long enough to see Mikhail get his Ph.D, his marriage to Raisa, and the birth of his first grandson Sergei. After the composer's death, Mikhail and Raisa had another son. This one (no surprise, dear readers!) was named Arkady.[4]

After Ostrovsky's death, it was discovered that he left behind a few unfinished compositions. One of these was the final "backyard" song, finished by Lev Oshanin and Alexandra Pakhmutova. This one was performed by Joseph Kobzon. Another posthumous song was called «Время» (Time) and was completed by Oscar Feltsman, another Jewish composer. «Время» was first performed by Muslim Magomayev in 1969. Magomayev remarked, "This song is so deep, I almost lost my dog in it."[5]

Family and legacy of trolling[edit | edit source]

Arkady Ostrovsky's wife was Matilda Yefimovna Ostrovskaya Lurie (1907-2000), who had been a ballerina. Other than that, nobody gives a shit. Their aforementioned son, Mikhail (born 1935) is a physiologist, specializing in vision. He has written a few textbooks, which are apparently very popular among Russian physiologists.[6]

In 2010, a 1976 video fragment of his BFF Eduard Khil singing his vocalization "I am very happy because I'm finally returning home" was rediscovered; it became a meme and was quickly renamed "Trololo". (Three years later, the rest of that performance resurfaced... with "Trololo" cut out. Were it not for the efforts of that first uploader, who knows what might have happened? Perhaps our meme would have been lost forever. Millions of trolls might have never known who the one true Rickroll was.)

"Trololo" had been composed in 1966 during an immature disagreement with Lev Oshanin, centered around the fact that Oshanin had written lyrics that were either too pro-American, too naughty, or completely fucking retarded. Why so many conflicting reasons? Nobody remembers. The point is that Ostrovsky thought the lyrics were shit, so Oshanin was all like, "All right. Do what you want! Forget my lyrics! But don't come crying to me when this song totally fails!" So then Ostrovsky was like, "Whatever, fuck you, I can manage without your shitty lyrics!" And so this childish quarrel gave rise to a great act of pwnage. "Trololo", which at that time was simply known as "Vokaliz" (Russian: Вокализ), turned out to be a fan favorite even before the internet. One can surmise that Ostrovsky and Oshanin forgave each other after that...

“You just got pwned, bro! Friends again?”

~ Arkady Ostrovsky on seeking forgiveness, what a nice guy

“Dad would be very happy to know that so many people like his song. He didn't really care about money, the popularity of his songs was more important.”

~ Mikhail on the Trololo meme

Не встретимся[edit | edit source]

As it turns out, Arkady Ostrovsky even did a little bit of singing himself... Here is one of his weirdest compositions, "We won't meet" (lyrics by Inna Kashezheva, primary vocals by Eduard Khil).

Notes[edit | edit source]

This time, we are NOT rickrolling.

  1. This translated quote may be wrong. If so, feel free to correct it.
  2. For those of you who were sleeping in history class, or never got to that part of the book, here is some background. The communists didn't only persecute rich people, dissenters, and Christians; they also killed millions of Jews. So he had a good reason to hide behind a non-Jewish name.
  3. For the literal-minded among us: this entire paragraph was a joke.
  4. For the record, the grandson only inherited the grandfather's false name, surprisingly enough, and thus cannot also be called Avraam.
  5. Dude was a serious dog person, for those of you who didn't get it
  6. no shit!