User:EricIsOnFire/Archive 6
It said Talk or Die, and I don't want to die![edit | edit source]
So hai dere! I herd u leik animu! --The Shield of Azunai DSA510 Insight into the mind of an aspergian: 02:10, 2 July 2013 (UTC)
- What the fuck is animu?
02:11 7.02.13
- Anime --The Shield of Azunai DSA510 Insight into the mind of an aspergian: 02:13, 2 July 2013 (UTC)
- Oh yeah sure I watched some Yu-Gi-Oh! back in my day. If you consider 7 years ago my day. But that doesn't qualify as the real deal, does it? 02:14 7.02.13
- Oh yeah sure I watched some Yu-Gi-Oh! back in my day. If you consider 7 years ago my day. But that doesn't qualify as the real deal, does it?
- Anime --The Shield of Azunai DSA510 Insight into the mind of an aspergian: 02:13, 2 July 2013 (UTC)
- What the fuck is animu?
Hello[edit | edit source]
Hello, Sir! Could you, please, tell me if I should consider the request for a Pee Review for the article Phone sex or not, as it has been featured? Anton (talk) 14:09, 4 July 2013 (UTC)
- I always thought pee review requests that weren't ever done and the article ended up FA before anyone did the pee review was just suppose to be ignored or something, I have no clue really i guess 19:11 7.04.13
- I always thought pee review requests that weren't ever done and the article ended up FA before anyone did the pee review was just suppose to be ignored or something, I have no clue really i guess
- Well, if it's already featured, then I bet we should remove it. Do you want me to do it?
- By the way, I have reviewed Puppy. I am afraid I was too harsh but I just tried to give as many suggestions as possible. Anton (talk) 20:02, 4 July 2013 (UTC)
UnSignpost is back[edit | edit source]
Now with 20% more ninjas!
July 7th, 2013 • Issue 199 • Still fashionably late.
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The PLS results
The thirteenth edition of the PLS was held a while ago (in May). If you would like to know the result, we (me) decided to make life easier for you and give you the result of the contest, so you don't have to go all the way to the PLS page (one click). Just to remind you, all in all there were 4 categories and, therefore, there were supposed to be 4 people who got the first place and other 4 who got the second. However, this was not exactly what happened, as there are 6 writers who And so, here are the results! We (everyone) congratulate Zombiebaron for writing the Best PLS article "The Uncyclopedia's Owner Manual" and IFYMB! for his second best article "UnScripts:The Treaty of Minaj-Black" (these two articles got featured after)! We also congratulate the winners of all the other categories: RedHot ("My Dinner"; the best noob article), TheMillionRabbit ("Hold Your Wii For A Wee contest; the second best noob article) and Tmchale ("Searching for Topological Degeneracy in the Hubbard Model with Quantum Monte Carlo"; the secon second best noob article), Zana Dark ("Disturbed"; the best rewrite), Tmchale again ("Ludwig Wittgenstein"; the second best rewrite) and IFYMB! again again ("Opposite Day"; the second second best rewrite), Zombiebaron again ("The Last Unicorn in Vinnitsa"; the best potatochop) and finally Dexter111344 ("Ghost in the Trench"; the second best potatochop)! Thanks to all the participators and judges! The Uncyclopedia App
There has recently (a certain amount of time before the latest UnSignpost issue) been a lot of talk about creating an Uncyclopedia App as well as an Uncyclospecies. The idea consists in producing and selling the app which will transform all the human beings who use them into Uncyclopedians. The majority of the users (about 50% of those two who really participated) found this idea great (think that it is funny to talk about) and maybe even began working on it (asked someone else to think about it). Nothing else is known about them, as they disappeared soon after the first experiments were held. The main problem this project has is that, in fact, nobody knows how to create an app. In addition to this, there is no money, as most of it was spent on Ferraris, that were supposed to bring more money but didn't. Finally, some people think that it might be harmful for the environment (nobody cares). The project is currently being discussed (some users still post random spam on the forum) and with a certain probability the app is going to be created in nearby future (it is never going be to created but some people do think about it). Anton (talk) 12:51, 6 July 2013 (UTC)
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| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | |||||||||
Enjoy! IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 10:19 7 July 2013
- Sexy... 01:29 7.08.13
- Sexy...
The UnSignpost: a brilliant new format but less news[edit | edit source]
In a genius financial maneuver called "eat only Ramen for nine months", Uncyclopedia administrator Isarra has paid for Uncyclopedia's servers until September with what little student loan money she had left.
The remaining three months of 2013 were paid for with money raised from donations, merchandise sales, and advertising on the Uncyclomedia Shop. It cost $277.80 of the site's whopping $307.51, leaving the rest of the admins with barely enough money for their Ferrari gas tanks and an Uncyclopedia Android app.
However, this makes it obvious that the site is not yet financially self-sustaining and that other methods of generating revenue and/or more exposure to Uncyclopedia are needed if the site will do better in 2014. Ideas proposed on IRC include advertising, finding a generous sugar daddy, playing the lottery, and selling synthetic marijuana. Also worth considering is that even though raising awareness of the site through word of mouth and Operation Infamous is embarrassing and socially isolating, it will attract more people who will (hopefully) put money in our cup. And clicking on the ads in our e-store helps a bit too.
Count to a million fiasco
On July 29th, 2013; the infamous Count to a million thread which is popular for it's time wasting appeal was locked by Frosty in what could be said as "an action of gay gay gay proportions." Several Just three users took to the streets to protest this decision, angry that their only source of time wasting has been taken by one gay snowman; of course, they didn't protest or anything so nothing notable happened.
When we asked Frosty about this, he responded "This is to make sure people edit in the mainspace like they're supposed to, for so long very few edits have taken place in mainspace and it seems like the most popular thing here is that blasted thread. I feel like I've made the perfect choice." However, TheHappySpaceman and co-partner in crime Kırby think otherwise; claiming that "This is just so Frosty can get the "gayest person in the world" award; we've made attempts to make the thread viable by contributing comics and other stuff and to mock all of our attempts, that's gay indeed. Even gayer than Mr. Winkler's F."
Everybody else is oddly not disturbed by this recent conundrum; knowing full well that the thread will be open in a week. "It's nice that we have a motivation to edit mainspace, I was getting tired posting numbers in an attempt to reach a million. Hey, maybe I'll make a featured article in a week." said a random Uncyclopedian. Okay, so it's not much of a fiasco as we portrayed it to be but two people are pissed off and that at least has to make it a mini-fiasco right? As of writing, TheHappySpaceman and Matthlock are currently planning to write a mainspace article, presumably with lots of gay jokes.
UnDroid
For eons, an Uncyclopedia Android app was only a pipe dream. Maybe like two weeks ago. Thankfully, it's now a reality. The app, developed by some guy you've never heard of named Jude Pereira, can be found here. It's free in exchange for money and referring your friends to download the app. The app also has many exciting features such as AutoTypo 1.0, which shrinks the keypad and allows you
to create typos faster than ever before, and Zoom 0.8, an innovative feature allowing you to make large things small and small things large. It's truly revolutionary technology, and it's completely free. So download it, use it, and be somebody.
Biopic
In this Biopic we examine the trials and tribulations of Fakehater who, with a few uploads under his belt (however that works), is taking audio requests in the Village Dump. He says he enjoys proofreading, doing audio, and based on his userpage, The Goonies. He is also into older women but, like most UnNews reporters, he has little to offer any dignified, diabetic septuagenarian. Embarrassingly, his IRC nickname is "arsenic_x", which we're pretty sure is what created the Powerpuff Girls.
• 20:53, July 19, 2013 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Lemonpie (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Infinite (just fuck off pls)
• 17:13, July 19, 2013 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of -3600 seconds (how many dicks could a dick sucker suck if a dick sucker could suck dick?)
• 11:41, July 1, 2013 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 31 millennia, 6 centuries, 8 decades, 8 years, 269 days, 17 hours, 37 minutes and 3 seconds (Better number of nines)
Top VFH Competitors
• UnNews:Army launches new recruiting ad campaign (8/0.5)
• UnScripts:Your Guide to Notable Literature: Abridged (6.5/0)
• Constantine II (5.5/0)
VFH Highlight Of The Week
Katy Perry hit generator (10/0)
From The Forums
• Remember a time when Uncyclopedia didn't suck
• Hey! This looks like an important thing!
• I can't hear you!
• The day the music was born again and accepted Christ
UnSignpost News
You are probably noticing that the UnSignpost looks a little bit different. That's because it is. If you don't like it then that's just, like, your opinion and stuff man.
IRC Quote
[13:35] <DogTheColourful> I WILL FUCK YOUR HOUSE AND BURN YOUR MOTHER DOWN
Anton (talk) 13:24, 8 August 2013 (UTC)
VOTE. YES. NOW.[edit | edit source]
DO IT FAGGOT! Forum:Forest Fire Week 3.14: Reloaded. -- 20:04, 14 August 2013 (UTC)
I have a question that due to my eccentricity, I will ask in the spammiest way possible...[edit | edit source]
I got the image from Rule 34, which doesn't allow that type of imagery. And I don't recall that cartoons can be considered underage pornography. Only real people. 
16:44 8.21.13
hello again[edit | edit source]
First to say hi again. I feel special. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 
09:51, 1 December 2013 (UTC)
- You should. Haha. 22:48 12.01.13
- You should. Haha.
Top 3 Of The Month[edit | edit source]
- FYI we decided to stop running Top 3 Of The Month. -- The Zombiebaron 20:20, 8 December 2013 (UTC)
- How are we suppose to do Top 10 of the year then? 20:25 12.08.13
- Here is the discussion we had. -- The Zombiebaron 20:47, 8 December 2013 (UTC)
- We could at least finish this year of the Top 3 system. I'll run it... um... still kinda :/ yeah is that alright with you or no? 21:19 12.08.13
- Yeah ok. We should probably also start discussing an actual new system for next year. -- The Zombiebaron 21:25, 8 December 2013 (UTC)
- For each month, maybe we can just take the 3 articles that had the highest score and highest health at the time of its feature and then 2 or 3 honorable mentions for that month get chosen and could be voted for as top 10. (Like the ones that are obviously top 10 of the year worthy that didn't get much attention during its VFH run) 21:29 12.08.13
- For each month, maybe we can just take the 3 articles that had the highest score and highest health at the time of its feature and then 2 or 3 honorable mentions for that month get chosen and could be voted for as top 10. (Like the ones that are obviously top 10 of the year worthy that didn't get much attention during its VFH run)
- Yeah ok. We should probably also start discussing an actual new system for next year. -- The Zombiebaron 21:25, 8 December 2013 (UTC)
- We could at least finish this year of the Top 3 system. I'll run it... um... still kinda :/ yeah is that alright with you or no?
- Here is the discussion we had. -- The Zombiebaron 20:47, 8 December 2013 (UTC)
- How are we suppose to do Top 10 of the year then?
Hello, and favors!!![edit | edit source]
Hello, and yoú'be gone too long. All goes well I hope, and I see you are busy building up the top three of the past few months, thanks for this extra work beyond the ken. A favor if you would. Upload is not working for me, and there are two picture files I loaded on other-uncy that I can't bring here. Can you give it a try?? Thanks!!!!!???!!! The two pictures, on this page http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/James_Bevel%27s_face_in_a_cloud/Guidebook_to_the_faces , are the ones with a cloud and a red circle indicating a face, and a white cloud with some black stuff in the lower right hand corner. They are the two pictures underneath the main picture (the main picture is repeated in miniature again later, so that's not needed, got that one already). Thanks, and if you can do this, feel no pressure to get it done within the next 30 seconds. Aleister 22:14 8-12-13
- Done. They are named cloudface1.jpg and cloudface2.jpg 22:28 12.08.13
- You are a God that walks like a man! Thanks. I'll grab the new edits on the page over yonder and make sure they come here pronto. Aleister 22:34 8-12-13
- Done. They are named cloudface1.jpg and cloudface2.jpg
Denza Spampost(tm)(c)(r) -- 06:07, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
- Why does a speech impediment affect the cripple old ladies walking? (says the straight man to the comic) Aleister 14:55 9-12-13
- Well when I think of a funny way to respond to that...I will respond the next chance I have to log on to uncyclopedia and type out that response and then sign it and click save! --ShabiDOO 22:56, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
- I just though of the most perfectly helarious response. But it's been too long now and it's not really funny anymore. So...I'm sorry Aleister and Sir Peasewhizz. Sorry. --ShabiDOO 00:27, 12 December 2013 (UTC)
- What? No, no, it's just a couple of inches above there. Shabidoo, why does a speech impediment affect the crippled old ladies walking? Aleister 1:00 12-12-13
- I just though of the most perfectly helarious response. But it's been too long now and it's not really funny anymore. So...I'm sorry Aleister and Sir Peasewhizz. Sorry. --ShabiDOO 00:27, 12 December 2013 (UTC)
- Well when I think of a funny way to respond to that...I will respond the next chance I have to log on to uncyclopedia and type out that response and then sign it and click save! --ShabiDOO 22:56, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
- Why does a speech impediment affect the cripple old ladies walking? (says the straight man to the comic) Aleister 14:55 9-12-13
Uncyclopedia:AAN/Adopters[edit | edit source]
Hi, just letting you know that since you don't seem to be active these days I've moved you from the list of active adopters to the list of inactive ones. If you should become active again, you may want to move your name back to the active list. Hope to see you around. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 19:37, 16 Mar 2014
Gggggggg[edit | edit source]
Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggay. --ShabiDOO 15:01, 16 July 2014 (UTC)
- gayyy 06:27 7.25.14
- gayyy
HOLY SHIT[edit | edit source]
HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE BACK (OR PRETENDING TO BE) ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 06:29, 25 July 2014 (UTC)
- If I had a computer I would be back and active again but I'm too cheap bwaha im on my iphone | 06:32 7.25.14
- If I had a computer I would be back and active again but I'm too cheap bwaha im on my iphone |
It's back! - The UnSignpost[edit | edit source]
Uncyclopedia is like a moldy pile of kelp right now. Not a lot of fun is happening right now. Or is it? Well probably not, but the UnSignpost is back! You know that newspaper that occasionally makes appearances on your talkpage that you also totally read. More than ever this newspaper will be uninformative, filled with articles that seem to endlessly ramble on about nothing in particular just to serve as filler and most importantly it will be the newspaper written by barely literate drunks.
Of course, you must ask, will this project actually be happening on any regular basis? You bet! Certain people who are extremely vain, as proven by the writing himself into the article will try and deliver you an UnSignpost every single Friday! That is of course, unless he gets devoured by a moldy pile of kelp. Then it might not happen. Other writers may also take part in this wonderful franchise, but let's face it, it's more likely that you read this entire article through to the end, than people actually write for this place anymore.------------
New admin time
By Frosty
Once again we find ourselves in that horrible, horrible mode of electing new administrators for Uncyclopedia. A process that never fails to see at least three users permanently quit the site because of "hurt feelings". But apparently, this time will be different. Although we say that every time, we truly mean it this time. Every drama stirrer will win an all expenses paid trip to RAHB's secret rape dungeon where they will have their anus mercilessly pounded with a stick coated in pieces of broken glass, and to top it off, the glass pieces will have been soaked in the HIV virus before hand.
Serious candidates include Kip the Dip, Mr-ex777 and Leverage; and not so serious candidates include RAHB, vandals from 2008 and DungeonSiegeAddict510 (let's face it, who'd vote for him?). And although newspapers are supposed to be non-bias and non-speculative, if you don't vote for Kip, Mr-ex or Leverage you are a loser. Plain and simple.
Users are all encouraged to vote, because unlike with the presidential election, your vote counts! Further more, not every single candidate is a loser, most of them are, but not all of them. Voting commences on August 1, so get ready for some old fashion in your face comedy tragedy!
Biopic
For the first time in 2014, we actually have a biopic! This week's biopic is Banzaikitten, who, is one of the very few new comers of 2014 to not bugger off within 7 days of signing up. We would like to thank SPIKE for his contribution in bringing Banzaikitten closer to us through his "take no prisoners" banning style on Wikia. If it wasn't for this, Banzaikitten would never have quit Wikia and joined us at the chosen Uncyclopedia. Please take a moment to thank Banzaikitten for being one of the very, very, VERY few users to join in recent times.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week You Are Gay (13/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News If you've read the UnSignpost all the way to this point, you need help. Seriously.
Chat Quote [17:12] You have been disconnected. Attempting to reconnect for you...
~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 09:38, 25 July 2014 (UTC)
Two weeks in a row? A new record! It's the UnSignpost[edit | edit source]
Predictably (and because let's face it, nothing else is happening on the site), the admin election takes the lead story. For those of you living under a rock and those that are just plain slow, Kip the Dip is leading the race by far (+19) and should win be a few lengths, this is definitely because of how hard his jockey is riding him. Cat the Colourful is trailing at second with +13, followed by Leverage at +8 and Banzaikitten at +6. Other notable mentions include Aleister, Mr-ex777, Lost Labyrinth Mattsnow and DungeonSiegeAddict510 who have all succeeded in avoiding the highly embarrassing score of getting +1 or less. Feel free to message the losers with negative scores and point and laugh a lot hahaha.
It shuld be no surprise that the page has been mercilessly trolled with other complete joke nominations including The Chief of AIDS and The Zombie of AIDS.
If you haven't been to the forum yet to cast your vote, do it today! Uncyclopedia admin elections: Twice the drama, half the fat!------------
VFH smells
By Frosty
This story is nothing short of a PSA, circle-jerking with traces of vote whoring in as well. If you are reading this, you should vote on VFH. VFH voting takes very effort and makes it, at the very least appear, that we have active users. So get down there some time today and vote on all the articles. Some might say you need to actually read them first, well this is (probably) a good idea, but do bear in mind that we don't actually know if you've read it or not. And unlike, when you didn't read Hamlet in your 9th grade English class there is not going to be a surprise test on the matter.[citation needed]
You should also go vote on Frosty's article(s) currently on VFH, it's the least you could do after he SINGLE HANDEDLY wrote this terrible newspaper for you. If you don't, the length of his e-penis will decrease considerably all because he didn't get another feature on a website with a userbase smaller than an Eastern Siberian village.
Biopic This week's biopic is the user named TheRealSexyFluttershy, which just goes to show how desperate we are for biopics that we are willing to write about literally anyone who shows a vague interest or presence in the site. TheRealSexyFluttershy can be found on The Internet Relay Chats discussing things that have relevance to ponies and poopdick on a disturbingly regular basis. However, he does occasionally make the odd presence on the Wiki and even more occasionally he makes useful edits to some page or another.
If you appreciate him go to his talk page and thank him for his noble contributions in the field of poopdick, if you don't appreciate him please feel free to spam his page with poopdick (although he may start furiously masturbating).
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week You Are Gay (14/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Frosty thinks all the other administrators are highly useless. Yeah, sorry guys but you are.
Chat Quote [21:19] <sleeptyper> RAHB dislikes niggers
~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 23:47, 1 August 2014 (UTC)
Does this look infected to you? It's the UnSignpost![edit | edit source]
Not that much over a year ago, TKF left us with the classic "I'm quitting forever in a highly obnoxious and auto-fellating manor". For about 66 seconds Uncyclopedians everywhere were sad, we all fapped in sadness at the loss of our beloved TKF and things were never going to be quite the same again. Then we all thought to ourselves "good riddance, I hope he contracts Anthrax and dies."
No surprise, but he has come back under the highly illusive nickname "Argylesocks" which is obviously not somebodies sockpuppet because it contains the word socks in it. I mean, if you were a sockpuppet would you give it away so easily? Flawless logic! He can also be found on IRC chatting casually under the "dcik", showing his support for "The Dyslexia Support Foundation".
Head over to his user page and talk page to find out details about his awesome "Uncyclopedia Retrospect project" which is probably some grand social experiment documenting the life and times of hopeless losers on the internet, but hey it SOUNDED COOL.------------
Forum dramaz
By Frosty
Uncyclopedia has recently had an infestation. An infestation of drama. Drama is bad mmkay? Aside from the obvious fact users get banned, users quit and people proceed to hate each other to the point where you would rub hot English Mustard into their prolapsed anus if you ever saw them in the street, drama distracts you from writing. As does reading the UnSignpost. But reading the UnSignpost is more constructive as the constant not so subliminal messaging telling you to write articles is plastered everywhere. WRITE ARTICLES.
But drama can be entertaining when coupled with cheap scotch and buttered popcorn to the humble obverser. But mainly it's bad, so stop it. No matter how funny you think your drama mongering will never compete with Asperger's Syndrome is no laughing matter... ...and the sequel rest of the trilogy.
Biopic
This week's biopic is Chaoarren, which if you haven't meet him yet... You suck basically. He can be found on IRC, occasionally editing the Wiki and frequently reporting established users to Ban patrol because "they made fun of him in his pink skirt" or "he smells funny". Chaoarren has also done the highly laughable feat of running dead last in the most vote rigged admin election in history, where losers like Kip the Dip and Colin actually stand a chance of winning losing.
He's also a noob that hasn't buggered off yet. I wish more of them were like you Chaoarren... I really do...
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week What's-his-name off that thing (12/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Confucius say "Shut the fuck up and edit an article".
Chat Quote [20:17] <James_T> My dick is large
~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) 
~ Fri, Aug 8 '14 12:21 (UTC)