User:TheMillionRabbit/Hold Your Wii For A Wee contest
“In Soviet Russia, wiis hold YOU for a wee!”
The Hold Your Wii For A Wee Contest was a contest held by the radio station WTFU-FM in which a group of penisless man avoided playing with their Wii in order to get a new penis.
It sparked a major controversy as one of the contestants commited suicide after losing the contest.
Rules[edit | edit source]
A few weeks before the recording of the show, WTFU-FM added a subscription form to their website. People had to rate their video game addiction on a scale of 1 to 10 and to say if they had a penis. The show’s host picked the ten, most addicted, penisless, men to participate. They then had to travel to the rooftop studios of WTFU-FM.
As stated live at the beginning of the contest:
“Huff huff huff huff, now, let me explain the rules. Huff huff huff. Let me take your Wiis, here (takes the Wiis and places them behind a curtain). Behind this curtain is a, huff huff huff huff, a glass panel. Behind the glass panel are some men with, huff huff huff huff, bombs, acid balloons, exploding trees, cats with guns and stuff(the contestants panick and scream while tearing the curtain the curtain apart). Huff huff huff! Calm down everybody! When one of you touches the glass panel, you lose and get your Wii back. Once nine of you have touched it, the last remaining contestant wins a new penis! Huff huff huff. I will then pour boiling hot water on it to make sure it doesn’t, huff huff huff huff, fall off. However, five of you have already touched the glass, so we are down to five. The contest starts NOW!! Huff huff huff huff...”
Over the course of two hours, three of the contestants touched the glass panel, leaving only a dude and a gay homosexual. The dude then took a chainsaw and aimed it at the gay homosexual. To avoid the chainsaw, the gay homosexual began to run and hit the glass panel, losing the contest.
“AND THE DUDE IS THE WINNER!!! Huff huff huff huff. CONGRATULATIONS!!!”
Meanwhile, the gay homosexual took a brick and swallowed it, falling off the building and dying in the process.
Aftermath[edit | edit source]
The gay homosexual’s family, most of the station’s listeners and Captain Obvious thought that the contest was horrible due to the death of the gay homosexual and wanted an instant, permanent shutdown of the station. Chuck, however, was not interested and just wanted to play his favorite game.
Meanwhile, the gay homosexual hit the ground, causing something deadly that, mixed the Chuck’s game, caused something even worse, that destroyed the WTFU-FM studios and caused the instant, permanent shutdown of the station.
And oh, by the way, the dude’s penis fell off in the process.