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Lord Sauron, 1st Earl of Hertfordshire, KG, GCMG, PC ( BC – 28 May 1896), known as The Dark Lord of Mordor before 1861, was an English Conservative politician who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom in the mid-19th century. He is well remembered in the United Kingdom as the first Prime Minister to exist solely as a manifestation of pure evil, a tradition that has since been continued by subsequent Conservative politicians.

Details of Lord Sauron's past are sketchy at best, it was rumoured that he served as an officer in the Crimean War, where he would famously hurl Cossacks 20ft in the air with a giant iron mace, but these feats are likely fictionalised, as there is no reputable evidence that Cossacks actually exist. Sauron first arrived on the British mainland in 1861. He was drawn to the island, so the legend goes, because he mistook the inhabitant's unusual facial characteristics for that of the orcs of his homeland. (Full article...)

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On this day

Nothing's gonna change my world, nothing's gonna change my world.

April 26: Hyperbole Day!

  • 1764 - Hyperbole day founded in the most spectacular ceremony since the dawn of time.
  • 1834 - The best day in all of history! There'll never ever be another day like it! It's amazing! Not like I'd tell you, though.
  • 1901 - President Teddy Roosevelt mounts his wife: BULLY!
  • 1965 - The mildest day in the history of the universe. No other day was as mild. Ever. Aside from the racism.
  • 1983 - The worst day in the history of the universe, God himself mourns. (Pictured)
  • 1986 - Ronald Reagan stays awake for an entire cabinet meeting! Good job, Mr. President! Let the void take you!
  • 2016 - The best night I've ever had. Ever! It felt so good! Say goodbye to cats!

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Looking for protection for your stallion? Safe sex whilst getting your oats? Look no further than Trojan Horse condoms. For the serious rider. Available in "Large", "Extra Large" and "Ouch!".

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