User:EricIsOnFire/Archive 2

Your signature (4)

You are now exactly where Aimsplode was a week ago. Go to UN:SIG. Read Section 1.2. Do what it says. That is, put the fancy signature code in a file, not on every user page that you sign, forever. Spıke ¬ 20:51 23-Nov-12

I did. It is a file.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 21:13, November 23, 2012 (UTC)

Then do what it says EXACTLY. The contents of the file (rather than its name) is being copied into every file that you sign. Spıke ¬ 21:17 23-Nov-12

Oh, I guess I don't really know how.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 21:19, November 23, 2012 (UTC)

Winner

	Noob of the Moment November 2012

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 05:43, December 2, 2012 (UTC)

I am honored!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 16:39, December 2, 2012 (UTC)

Hull City AFC

New user Daboywood has written a team article. It is not outstanding, as its themes are mostly the generic ones of bad finances and bad play, but it illustrates what I was saying about a team article written from the standpoint of a fan who has obviously lived through, or studied, multiple eras of hope and despair, as opposed to just trying to pun around with the local terms. Spıke ¬ 15:30 2-Dec-12

Okay, thanks. I'll look into it later and read.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 16:44, December 2, 2012 (UTC)

HowTo:Upset the Gods on VFH

Thank you for retracting that nomination. As for the semantic quibble: I don't doubt that the article is your best. Nominating it on VFH is what was an assertion that it is the website's best. Spıke ¬ 13:09 3-Dec-12

Okay, thanks. SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 20:52, December 3, 2012 (UTC)

I torched your signed football

Also there's this ^^. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Dec 8 '12 11:43 (UTC)

Nutella

I know you are anxious to claim partial credit for this, but I claim we are done. Spıke ¬ 00:08 14-Dec-12

I have uploaded two images. One is on there, one more?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:10, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Where you getting these pix? We have a lot of rationalizations for stealing illustrations, but we ought not to steal humor. Spıke ¬ 00:25 14-Dec-12

Google images. The people who make these images can't claim copyright on them because of the makers of Nutella. I believe. Most images I post here are memes anyway, I don't think these ones are memes, just free use.

Th' fuck, Eric--The ink isn't dry and already you're putting the fricking trophy on your userpage? Spıke ¬ 00:27 14-Dec-12

I'll take it down :(--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:29, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

"Propaganda"

Regarding your professed love of propaganda: If you didn't see propaganda this year in the US election campaign, you weren't paying attention. Republicans vilified Obama, reading too much into everything from his birthplace to his "57 states" gaffe (not to mention all of Biden's). Obama ran a personality cult and his people vilified the pretenders, from Michele Bachmann to Herman Cain, and finally Romney. The "99%" and the "47%" were propaganda ploys, as was morphing Mourdoch's comment that even a baby conceived by rape was God's creation into a supposed endorsement of rape. There is propaganda everywhere.

I suspect what you are saying is that what you love is Nazi/Soviet/Fascist propaganda such as the World War II posters (throw in Rosie the Riveter). They look cheesy now and everyone sees through them. Be careful with this, though. Uncyclopedia went through a phase where many governments were presented as a People's Republic. I cleaned up Massachusetts, Michigan, and Mexico, and was permitted to add text to UN:HTBFANJS stating that comparing something to Sovietism is officially trite. That is, no matter how funny you think this is, it's been tried once too often here. Spıke ¬ 02:58 15-Dec-12

So you mean to say that Uncyclopedia was almost into legal trouble for accused propaganda?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 03:01, December 15, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, and I see you've also added the mispronounciation (or however it is spelled) for Massachusetts as MassiveTwoShits, that's what I always liked to call it!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 03:02, December 15, 2012 (UTC)

I meant to say nothing of the sort. I said "trite," not "sued." It just isn't funny--not even for a state like Massachusetts that so richly merits it (and where a little of the "Soviet" analogy remains). Spıke ¬ 03:04 15-Dec-12

Okay I understand, sorry for misusing the term.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 03:07, December 15, 2012 (UTC)--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 03:07, December 15, 2012 (UTC)

Nice

Hahaha your userpage made my day bro. --POP!GoesTheWeasel 11:03, December 16, 2012 (UTC)

Haha, thanks PGTW! I guess it is what I do. I'm gonna start calling you Papa Weasel.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 17:00, December 16, 2012 (UTC)

And I'll call you Pancake, because why the hell not? --POP!GoesTheWeasel 05:17, December 17, 2012 (UTC)

Yeah, I mean why not?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 12:43, December 17, 2012 (UTC)

Red Sockies

The bit I meant was the paragraph that starts "With the completion of the Green Monster to begin the 2004 season," - that to me is recent history. I think moving the Yankees stuff there is ok. looking like a good start--Leverage (talk) 21:08, December 16, 2012 (UTC)

Yeah, recent history so I don't think I should move it there just yet. Thanks.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 21:20, December 16, 2012 (UTC)

Thankis

Thanks for your vote on the HowTo:Beet off page, appreciated. Claudette Colvin is sad you voted against her, but she just sat down on the floor and won't move, so I dunno when she's going to get up and leave. And your Yellow Turban spork, it's pretty good! Sporks are fun to do (I've done three, one on Todd Palin, one of the Chicago Seven, and with Funnybony on Jack Dempsey). I find that it's good to keep working on them until the original fades almost into the background, and the page is almost all yours. I gave Yellow Turban Reb. a quick read and will read it again, as well as the wikipedia page, it's a historical occurance I know nothing about. Thanks again, and keep on the keeping on thing. Aleister 22:08 16Decembe12

Thanks! I'll look over my vote on the Claudette Colvin page because I wasn't sure. It was weird because before you gave me this message I was reading over the Yellow Turban Rebellion so haha. If you like it then maybe could you... eh? See, I'm starting to feel ashamed for self nominations. But I really like this one and at first I didn't think it was gonna be good but then I went overboard and pushed a quality article. --SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 22:13, December 16, 2012 (UTC)

Oh fuck, I wasn't trying to change your vote. Your vote is like a sacred thing. I'd be happy to discuss it though (Colvin is one of the unsung things to be sung about in movement history). What happened was I just was reading the Yellow Turban page with low expectation because I've been seeing your troubles with other articles, so I was happily surprised it was so good (can't judge a book by its cover, unless it portn and then you pretty much get the same stuff everytime) and wanted to tell you. I'd suggest more polishing only because polishing is soooooo good for a page. People like myself and Funnybony work on some pages for years (literally), and I like to do lots of polishing on mine although once in awhile one comes very quickly (Peacock, and HowTo:Blow a dog come to mind). Got to run to Subway now! Yummmmmmm. Aleister minutes later

Well if it is good, then I guess I'll give it a try. Because I feel like I'm the only one who should. (Because it is like something that only I know, so everyone else can judge). Cheers!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 22:34, December 16, 2012 (UTC)

Mother Monkeys, thanks for the Claudette Colvin vote, totally unexpected. The ghost of Claudette Colvin blesses you (even though she's still alive as far as I know). I saw you put The Turban up for vote, I'll read it again later and likely vote for it (on first semi-read and all it was good). You can still keep writing and polishing it even if it's on VFH, so maybe people will give constructive criticism and/or hate notes on the nom. Thanks again! Aleister signing off and going to Subway for sure now

Okay, I'm work on it sometime soon.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 22:50, December 16, 2012 (UTC)

Template:Weapons list

Must you create a new template? In mainspace? And with a note on your user page that no one else had better muck with it because it's yours? Spıke ¬ 23:18 17-Dec-12

No, you have the wrong idea. People can edit it freely. What I meant was that so much is there that probably anything someone would consider putting on there is probably already there. And I said that if it is something they wish that is nonsense (to put on there), I suggested thinking it over on whether it would actually be a good addition to add there. Why for that? Because there is already much nonsense on there like "Bieber fever", "Swag", and "Mondays".--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 23:21, December 17, 2012 (UTC)

Well, I have the wrong idea because you gave me the wrong idea. If you want to maintain its quality, or the quality of any page, against drive-by edit by Mr. I.P. Anon, just do it and we will all be grateful to you. But no song-and-dance, please, about what the rest of the world should value before they edit it. As though I.P. read your userpage before proceeding.... Spıke ¬ 23:27 17-Dec-12

Wait... what? You worded that in a weird way. I don't understand what you mean.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 23:31, December 17, 2012 (UTC)

Watch your step! It's a steaming-hot pile of UnSignpost

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Dec 19th, 2012 • Issue 179 • YOUR JOKE HERE! Contact management for details.

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We really didn't, but as we have always enjoyed not being frogs, and would prefer to maintain that state, we nodded furiously and thanked our interviewee for his time. Newbies! Protect them, love them, they are our future! Heil Newbies! By: Romartus How often has someone started a forum 'We're Doomed' or 'Where Domed' , and other variations of the announcement 'this website has moved away from my idea of what is funny' ? So what we can do here, but celebrate a clutch of new fully fledged contributors who arrived on our shores, all fresh and well-scrubbed! In recent months, we had Leverage produce articles faster than bindweed, and now he has joined by the likes of MagicBus (an admirer of The Who or a kaftan nostalgic?), news hound Bill Melater, and the ferocious Fakehater, who will rip your arms off if he detects you're a phony. Then there is Murder_Frog, who swears blind he is unrelated to another amphibian. (Evidently the lily pond is big enough for two croakers.) 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User:Kamek98/Fluff (spread)

I took the liberty of tweaking your intro, with two other recommendations in the Change Summary.

I suppose you don't know about the Massachusetts Fluffernutter War. Serious news, and seriously funny. Use it. Spıke ¬ 00:05 20-Dec-12

Thanks, man!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 02:14, December 20, 2012 (UTC)

Car

Automobile LOL --POP!GoesTheWeasel 05:21, December 20, 2012 (UTC)

But honestly, good article on your car thing. I luv it. You're an awesome writer. --POP!GoesTheWeasel 05:22, December 20, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 12:18, December 20, 2012 (UTC)

Fluff

That is what the article taking shape in your userspace is. I gave you some facts to base it on, and Wikipedia could give you more, but instead you give us a meandering, cockamamie story of the Crusades. How much patience do you think the reader has for yet another demonstration of your ability to do free-association and spew forth random ideas?

Look at Grand Rapids, Michigan. I have a thesis--that the city is an economic basket case--and most of the contents are designed either to flog this thesis or to knead in actual facts. (Wikipedia and Google offered up gems, such as that the "Dutch weather babe" works at a TV stations whose call letters are WOOD, or that Newsweek called GR a dying city a year before its print edition died.)

Jim Morrison on VFH you abstained on (and unlike some notorious whores here, I am not calling on you to change your vote) because of its focus on sex and drugs. I don't fault you for not realizing that Morrison was one of the pioneers of "acid rock" when its name was literal. But what you are complaining about, therefore, is the article's attachment to the truth--the exact thing that makes it funny--the exact thing whose absence means that Fluff isn't, yet. As I say on my user page, the best humor "has a seed of truth" (Limbaugh), though the stems and leaves might be total crap. Your reader wants to laugh, to relate to the written product, not to you. So make every sentence serve a purpose. I found one just now, in Sheep, that didn't: The fact that a one-word (Baa) language has no past tense wasn't going anywhere. The following sentence, that the language also had no negatives, fed the joke that sheep are easy lays, which after all is the thesis of the article. So the fluff is gone. Spıke ¬ 23:19 20-Dec-12

Dude. Relax. I get what you mean. I'm working on it. I am writing with what you gave me. A small bit takes place in the Crusades. --SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:07, December 21, 2012 (UTC)

Well we all have our own approaches to writing Spike. I had this issue awhile back with the Battle of Hastings with two writers who created an article with more random than you could shake a stick at. As a historian, the nonsense in that piece got to me and I complained to the authors. They ignored me and then left some testy messages on my talk page. And then they were gone. Lesson I learnt was that there is a fine line between encouraging a writer in a certain direction and trying to push them there instead. I would rather let the nonsense on that Hastings article stand for now until someone else (or me) comes up with a way to improve it. These are early days and if you are young as I think you are Eric, then I understand what you are doing. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:49, December 21, 2012 (UTC)

I'm fourteen.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 12:24, December 21, 2012 (UTC)

Same age as Frosty in Kangaroo Years. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:29, December 21, 2012 (UTC)

It's my fourteenth birthday today (well I live in the East coast, so actually in like a couple hours), though. I was rounding.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:25, December 22, 2012 (UTC)

VFH

We used to have a policy that no writer could self-nominate an article unless it was Pee Reviewed. This didn't stop another contributor nominating your work. But things changed awhile back as fewer people did Pee Reviews (me included) so in the end we have allowed anyone to nominate their words of wisdom. Since I have no knowledge of the Boston Red Sox, I couldn't judge the quality of the article without some research. So what we now have is I think an informal process where one writer asks another for his opinion about their article. That is why some new users request adoption so they can ask questions and advice about how the site works. It will also give any new contributor a 'champion' who can defend them from a ban which may have been more to do with a misunderstanding than disruptive intent.

And...you have a birthday a few days before Christmas. Well that's tough! All is forgiven!! Merry Christmas. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:02, December 23, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks. Could you remove the VFH nomination for the Red Sox? I don't think I made a good choice nominating it.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 14:26, December 23, 2012 (UTC)

Happy Birthday! I see your enthusiasm is running wild on the docks. Nice work, yet like I mentioned it sometimes is better to polish, polish, polish. Some people work for years on a page (years, seriously). It took me almost four months before I got my first feature. So patience is a good thing especially if you really care about your pages and want to make them the best possible. Again, Happy Birthday!!! Aleister 15:06 Festivus

Thanks Al!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 15:10, December 23, 2012 (UTC)

I love old baseball information. Check out Boston Red Sox pitcher Smoky Joe Wood. He had one of the greatest years in pitching history in 1912. Lots of old Red Sox are hall of famers. I hate that they've put up ads on the green monster, ads are the scourge of sports fields and stadiums. Al minutes later

Thanks for the link. I think I read about him once.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 15:36, December 23, 2012 (UTC)

Can you cut back nominating your own articles Eric? A lot of them are distinctly undercooked and need more work. I appreciate your enthusiasm but this isn't a race to feature something as soon as you have finished it. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:47, December 24, 2012 (UTC)

Yes, I'm sorry. I will work on Boston Red Sox and the such soon. But I do have a comment on your against vote and Matt's against vote on my new article. I guess I could elaborate on some parts but the thing is, it isn't suppose to be at one place. They are examples in each sections and that is why it is all over the place.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 18:02, December 24, 2012 (UTC)

Hello

I've noted that you have been asking other users about their opinions on your article. I don't see any harm in doing it, except that it's probably really tedious for you.

So you could try pee review. It's an awesome place where other Uncyclopedia users will rate your article and talk about the pros and cons about it. I think pee review still exists, and it helped me a ton. --POP!GoesTheWeasel 08:07, December 26, 2012 (UTC)

I've tried it, but it is about as dead as the local cemetery.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 17:22, December 26, 2012 (UTC)

What? You say you want to see the local cemetery? Well, here it is! Al I am unsafe for work

Ahhaha.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 23:07, December 26, 2012 (UTC)

Looks like everyone forgot about it with the sheer number of brilliant noobs on the rise. No matter, carry on with what you do best. --POP!GoesTheWeasel 08:50, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

Templates

I noticed you have created a template for a couple of your articles. That template should be in the main space rather than as a subpage so that others can locate it. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:46, December 26, 2012 (UTC)

I've already moved the Three Kingdoms one, which other ones do you mean?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 22:28, December 26, 2012 (UTC)

@Romartus: we already have plenty of templates. If it's a single-use template, it works fine as a subpage—or better yet, none at all. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Dec 26 '12 23:01 (UTC)

One night stand

Hi, I put a comment on the above VFH nomination regarding improvements; suggesting you put it in for pee review to see if that gives you any ideas for improving the article. I'm fairly busy these days and have been neglecting my reviewing duties but if you stick it on Pee Review over the next few days and drop me a message to say that you have done I'll find time to do one for you. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 10:00, December 27, 2012 (UTC)

Shane Victorino

Now please list it on QVFD. We don't need an entry for Shane Victorino, much less one that redirects to a team he may have been on before he was acquired by the Boston Red Sox. The link to Victorino in Red Sox used to be red, and its redness was exactly the point. Spıke ¬ 00:58 28-Dec-12

Oh, what? Sorry, yes I will. Please forgive me. I do recall now he was signed by the Red Sox. And... Philadelphia has no article? That's weird. I never looked over that. I'm sorry.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:59, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

I don't know if I did that right...--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:02, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

Slit his wrists

I've taken this to QVFD. No one is going to type "Slit his wrists" and expect to get taken to Emo. If you're writing an article and this is what you want to happen, just use a piped link: [[Emo|Slit his wrists]]. Spıke ¬ 22:31 28-Dec-12

Okay, thanks. I'm sorry, I should have thought of that.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 22:32, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

The Chief Justice granted my request toute de suite. His Change Summary: "Meh." Spıke ¬ 22:39 28-Dec-12

Weird, I just saw that. Huff log was the last page I visited before I received my fancy new message.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 22:40, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

He also huffed the total output of the capital-letter vandal we've been following. Spıke ¬ 22:44 28-Dec-12

Did you see the stuff he put on User:Frosty's talk page? That was assloads off the "pointless category" I had to delete.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 22:46, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

So you've got Rollbackz

Please use this with unprecedented care. I have it too, and I only use it against Mr. I.P. Anon. I find that anyone with a username almost always deserves an explanation of a revert, unless he responds with an edit-war. Spıke ¬ 13:14 29-Dec-12

It is when I can rollback multiple edits right?--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 16:50, December 29, 2012 (UTC)

That is it exactly. See above. Spıke ¬ 17:15 29-Dec-12

Okie-dokey then.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 18:17, December 29, 2012 (UTC)

User:Lost ESheep/Norwegian Forest Cat

Your nomination on VFD is invalid, as this article is brand new, and it is not bad enough for QVFD. Your suggested outcome on VFD is to userspace the article. If you wanted this done without creation of a redirect, just ask someone. Oh, wait, you have the Rollbackz, you could have done it yourself. With a note to the author--see above--such as the one I have now supplied. If instead what you really wanted was more personal attention, then nominate away. Spıke ¬ 21:37 29-Dec-12

Calm down, dude. I didn't know I could do that.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 22:31, December 29, 2012 (UTC)

At any rate, author has ignored my userspacing and has moved or re-uploaded his article to mainspace, where he is continuing it. As I should have ignored your invalid nomination. Now, don't tell me to "calm down, dude." When you fuck up, the problem is not the other guy's attitude--I don't care what your School Psychologist tells you. Spıke ¬ 22:40 29-Dec-12

I don't see a school psychologist, nor do I plan on making arrangements to see one. I admit I messed up on the invalid nomination, but I didn't mean to do it invalidly. I do not seek personal attention, I could care less if someone easily knows my works or not. Sorry, I guess I used calm down a little loosely.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 23:12, December 29, 2012 (UTC)

Shown: SPIKE on a good day.

Kamek98, let me translate for SPIKE, as he's having a hard time talking with your head in his mouth: don't list new works on VFD. If they're spam or two crappy sentences, list 'em on QVFD; if the user seems to be working on 'em, stick a {{Construction}} tag on 'em. I've never moved anyone's page to userspace, and I would ask them on their user page before doing so myself. Pages with expired construction tags on 'em get huffed. I'm not really sure what to do when someone builds a crappy article and then removes the construction tag; I believe we're supposed to stick {{Fix}} tags on 'em because {{ICU}} scares people off, or something. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Dec 30 '12 2:13 (UTC)

Thank ya

Murder Frog has awarded you a pair of scissors! Now go run around with them.

Thanks for voting for Jim Morrison on VFH! Have a pair of scissors. --Murder Frog ✄ Dull interest wanes. 00:13, December 30, 2012 (UTC)

YAY!--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 00:17, December 30, 2012 (UTC)

Panic at the disco

Okay, to start the collab I did a few minor edits earlier in the article and then added a new section about the actual panic. I hope you think it's good; I like a lot if the stuff you have before, but I just tweaked a few things that I think give it more lulz. Really starting to like the concept! Oh, and please feel free to tweak the section I added as much as you want, if you felt like having it to in a different direction than I thought up. --Murder Frog ✄ Dull interest wanes. 15:32, December 30, 2012 (UTC)

I'll take a look at it real quick! You can change as much as you want to, we're coworkers for this. lulz.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 16:08, December 30, 2012 (UTC)

So I did a few more edits on Panic at the disco, and if you really think its ready for VFH, I would gladly put it up. I was wondering, though, if there would be a better way to format the conversation between narrator and Johnny so that it's easier to read and not one big block of text. Any ideas? I was thinking to make it like a book/story format and separate the lines for each person. --Murder Frog ✄ Dull interest wanes. 03:43, December 31, 2012 (UTC)

We could try.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 03:49, December 31, 2012 (UTC)

UOTY

Sadly you can not vote for multiple people on this one, so I am afraid you are going to have strike one of your votes here. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 08:06, January 1, 2013 (UTC)

Year Awards

I'm using your warm, nooby body for the sake of my own amusement. Hope you don't mind. It's nothing personal. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 08:08, Jan. 1, 2013

Ha.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 01:54, January 2, 2013 (UTC)

Dude! as well as Dude!WTF

Two things. One, thank you your nomination, that was nice of you. I had to strike it out, and explained on the notes, you could only win it once (at least that's how I see it), and I was gone for seven months except for popping in a few hours from time to time. Thanks again. Now, the second thing, WTF are you doing? Voting multiple times on the yearly awards pages after being told that you could only vote once per award. So pick your horse in each category. Lucky you weren't banned, I'd ban you for a few hours for just putting my name up. Thanks again. Aleister 18:45 1-1-'13

I thought it was 1 vote for UOTY?--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 19:23, January 1, 2013 (UTC)

Ah! An honest mistake and my apology. We've had lots of enthusiastic noobies, and some of them made very good. Others crashed and burned. Fly, sparrow, fly. Now go play in traffic (hahahahahahheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehahahahahahha huh? --- I don't know why I like writing that, it's fun each time) Aleister 19:37 1-1-'13

Okay. VFH and Vote for Top 3 articles of Dec are horny and ready to be touched.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 19:38, January 1, 2013 (UTC)

You're very good!

You're very good at making pages! I wish I could be like you. Jk. MagicBus (talk) 01:46, January 2, 2013 (UTC)

Is that a compliment or an insult? I can't tell, really. --Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 01:49, January 2, 2013 (UTC)

Compliment. MagicBus (talk) 01:49, January 2, 2013 (UTC)

Yay. Thanks dude.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 01:50, January 2, 2013 (UTC)

Yup! MagicBus (talk) 01:51, January 2, 2013 (UTC)

Drop your pants and grab the eggnog! It's the UnSignpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

January 2nd, 2013 • Issue 180 • We always do it Manually!

Vote! Or else! By Chief This image has not been altered in any way Is it that time of year again? It's the time when everyone celebrates the people who are the most remarkable amongst us at everything except what matters. It's time for Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year and Useless Gobshite of the Year. These compliment our small selection of awards: WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP. Not forgetting of course to all the userspace awards. Writer of the Year got off to a splendid start when Aleister in Chains nominated Funnybony and SPIKE for the award by writing brief but poignant marriage proposals to both of them. Thank goodness for Aleister, if not for him the wider world might have assumed we weren't all massive girls. Since then Thekillerfroggy nominated Xamralco, who was not able to express his appreciation due to a serious case of not editing the wiki any longer. As always what should be a rigorous heterosexual competition involving manly pursuits like backstabbing, lies, blackmail and threats is being irretrievably compromised by people like Aleister and Shabidoo; people whose sole purpose on the awards pages is to make everybody else feel bad about not noticing other people. Uncyclopedian of the Year is being lead by Romartus, Uncyclopedia's voting-in-chief. Shockingly, he was also nominated by Aleister who, as it turns out, is gayer than Christmas, apparently Romartus makes him "Proud to be an uncyclopedian", he makes "Legendary votes on VFH" and gives "Legendary hand relief". Potatochopper of the Year is a more subdued and manly affair, where absolutely nobody has been nominated at all... it's like reviewer of the month were moved to a different page name. Hopefully Aleister or Shabidoo will nominate someone soon, we here at the UnSignpost have gone to the trouble of writing the nomination for them: "<insert name here> has made many fantastic images, at least two of which I have made love to on at least nineteen occasions. My genitals ache for them every single evening and someday they will make my dreams come true and love me! Also Olipro sucks balls." Olipro was the only nominee for Useless Gobshite of the Year (insert your own joke here), but Zombiebaron quickly joined him in ignominy. Please go vote for both of them so they may end up tied, and share the prize (a year's supply of toilet paper) on their revolving bed built entirely from used condoms and KY bottles. From the desk of the Cabal: 2013 is the year of subservience By Nobody Once again you all stand before us, another year of failure behind you and another year of subjugation ahead of you. The non-existent Cabal would like to wish you all a happy New Year. All workers users are reminded that failure to celebrate the new year with adequate happiness and joy is punishable by enforced time labouring in the non-existent Lime Quarries followed by the immediate cessation of chocolate rations for the remainder of this work quarter. Once again you have failed us, utterly and completely. Last year we advised you all that resistance was utterly unnecessary and, if anything, we have had to tolerate 0.22% more resistance, we have heard you discuss and then decide to leave our kind benefactors, whilst promoting several of your own number to within the cabal in an effort to encourage dissent and democracy within our ranks. We saw you continue to tinker with that which does not concern you whilst simultaneously complaining when people are warned about the indecent images you propagate amongst your number. It seems prudent to remind you that if we delete every single template, every single image and every single forum your freedom will only increase. It is not what some of you have foolishly referred to as "overly deletionist", it is streamlining and it is good for all of you. It is with vague optimism that we note that you continue to strive at a barely satisfactory level, you have certainly earned a small fraction of the baubles and trinkets that have been handed out over the past year. It has not escaped our notice that the Worst 100 Reflections on 2012 only closed on time this year due to Thekillerfroggy skipping sixty of the reflections, we are gratified to note that Roman Dog Bird had practically no input on the list and very few of them regard uncontrolled outbreaks of creativity and morale, such dangerous forces must be carefully rationed and controlled. Cutting of corners and a blatant disregard for regulations do not amuse the Cabal. Now we must inexorably turn our attentions to 2013 and the promise it brings. All users should note that due to several security compromises over the last few months movement throughout the Uncyclopedia complex has been restricted during the hours of darkness. Where major editing is to take place you must ensure that you have faxed the appropriate forms to your divisional liaison officer prior to commencing work, failure to do so will result in an unacceptable breakdown in bureaucracy. Uncyclopedia must prevail, editors must remember that without patient mind numbing work and servitude we can never accomplish our ultimate goal of... well, that need not concern you. That is all citizens, you may now return to your allocated taskings.

Check out these pages! BURN THE WIKI BURN IT TO THE GROUND A long, long, very long forum where nothing was accomplished and everybody eventually just started typing random bullshit. A bad, bad, very bad idea, which the UnSignpost endorses with full vigor. An even worse idea. A page where Kip the Dip takes credit for something bad, very bad. A discussion far more important than any of the preceding links. Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home: 03:48, May 2, 2012 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes ‎ (Hahaha you're not an admin so I can do this and get away with it! Hahaha! (hahahhaha)) 22:44, May 18, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour ‎ (Not cool to use other people's sigs man......*shity eyes*.....) 23:07, July 17, 2012 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Snoopin' around in areas he shouldn't be concerned with) 19:32, October 4, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 44 seconds ‎ (I must block you at least once in order to be more awesome than you.) 03:31, November 17, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Shame on you for hating on Australian films! [DO NOT UNBAN]) 02:11, December 13, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 4 minutes ‎ (User request) 16:11, December 19, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 minutes ‎ (Necessary research into the reasons for no funny bans having happened last week. Do not be alarmed, we are trained professionals, and also very aroused.) 01:29, December 26, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 33 seconds ‎ (Telling me how to be an administrator) Biopic of the Week When we carried our knuckle-dusters and brick-filled socks to the talk page of new user Equilateralperil this past week to interview him, we were amused and perplexed to see him employ the classic defensive stance of a painfully shy, abused opossum. Rolling into the fetal position on the ground with his buttocks in the air, he began to reveal embarrassing personal details in a shrill voice, shouting "Have a field day, you scamps! Yes, mock me harder!", apparently hoping that we would walk away in disgust. However, to assume that reverse psychology would work on Uncyclopedians is to give them credit for having something that they don't, namely, a psychology. Some of the details which he will now regret ever having shared: Equilateral (that's what we call him for short, when we don't call him Bitch) is a 17-year-old schoolboy living in Victoria in Australia, is at the "top of his class" in multiple subjects, and is on his school's debate team. As he is on his school's rock band, jazz band, and "show" band, we are forced to assume that his school, like the one from Glee, is filled to the brim with people wearing matching plaid shirts, bow ties, white vests, and straw skimmers, who are all horrifyingly perky and prone to breaking into song (or dance) for no apparent reason—especially when the occasion does not require it. He claims to have had one girlfriend, who was Japanese and broke his heart. He refused to supply nude pictures of her, so we are forced to conclude that she is imaginary. For Christmas, he claims he received a "charcoal Italian moleskin jacket", which he is apparently wearing at this moment, over his Casper-the-Ghost™ footie pajamas. So there you have it! From our experience, Equilateralperil is most likely his school's Designated Punching Nerd, and spends most of his spare time pulling his poodle-haired head from toilets, when he isn't writing excellent articles for Uncyclopedia. While he's on holiday in Perth or Canberra or someplace, do give them a read. Newsroom UnTune of the Week The Uncyclopedian's Song This space left intentionally penis.

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 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Wed, Jan 2 '13 13:18 (UTC)