✈ II II

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Plunger.jpg
This user wields a plunger and can rollback your crap anytime, anywhere, anyhow baby.
Plunger.jpg
SP Colin.JPG

lol i hav a feetur

YOU JUST EDITED![edit source]

YOU JUST EDITED! - [22:07 5 August 2010] TheYetTalk

OR DID I? Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 22:10, Thursday 05 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
YOU DID IT AGAIN! AND AGAIN! I THOUGHT YOU HAD ABANDONED UNCYC? OR NO? HI! - [22:17 5 August 2010] TheYetTalk
AND IT APPEARS I GOT THIS BITCHES' VAGINITY! - [22:18 5 August 2010] TheYetTalk
IN FACT I HAVE NOT ABANDONED UNCYC WHEREVER WOULD YOU GET A SILLY IDEA LIKE THAT? No, seriously, you think I have a life outside this site? <3 Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 22:18, Thursday 05 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
NO I DID NOT THINK YOU HAD A LIFE OUTSIDE OF HERE! JUST THOUGHT YOU HAD GIVEN UP ON THE ONE LIFE YOU HAD! BUT APPARENTLY NOT!!! DO YOU THINK THERE'S A MEME IN THIS CAPITAL THING? LET'S FIND OUT. - [22:20 5 August 2010] TheYetTalk
BENSON LOL Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 22:21, Thursday 05 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
DICKS LOL! HOW ARE YOU?! - [22:23 5 August 2010] TheYetTalk
VERY WARM AS A RESULT OF THE SUMMER CLAUSE IN MY CONTRACT FOR LIVING ON THIS PLANET. HOW ABOUT YOU??? Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 22:25, Thursday 05 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
YOU GOT A CONTRACT? I NEVER GOT A CONTRACT! DAMMIT, I WANT A REFUND. I APPEAR TO BE ENJOYING YOUR CLAUSE, TOO. - [22:28 5 August 2010] TheYetTalk
YOU WERE DRUNK AT THE TIME, OBVIOUSLY. OH WONDERFUL HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU? Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 22:37, Thursday 05 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
WORKING OUT WONDERFULLY, YES. I FEEL THAT EITHER WE SHOULD BE HURLING ABUSE AT EACH OTHER, YOU MOTHAFUCKIN GOOD FOR NOTHING PIECE OF SHIT, OR WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A TWISTER...WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU, YA CUNT. - [22:46 5 August 2010] TheYetTalk
HEY COCKSUCKER, YOU MIGHT WANT TO GATHER YOUR VALUABLES, THERE'S ONE OF THEM THERE TWISTERS OUTSIDE. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 23:04, Thursday 05 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
OH FOR FUCK SAKE. OI, FAG, IS THAT WHY WE'RE SHOUTING? CAUSE YOUR VOICE REALLY SOUNDS FUCKING STUPID WHEN YOU'RE SHOUTING. - [23:07 5 August 2010] TheYetTalk

Hey. So there are a whole bunch of usergroups around at the moment (nazis and a frat). The new bastards. Do you feel like wasting your time at all? Showing them how a real user group works? Yeh, or not, that's cool too. :) - [02:26 6 August 2010] TheYetTalk

Yes! Of course I would love to waste time. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 11:45, Friday 06 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
Excellent! And it appears that Meth is back, at least for a bit. Do you have any ideas how we could make the mafia useful? I was thinking that instead of focusing on rewriting stuff, like all the other usergroups, we focus on the community. So welcoming and helping noobs, trying to somehow dampen any drama that flairs up and trying to ensure general good relationships. Very mafia-like, I know. What do you think? I also suggest that we simplify the mafia, cutting out things like the Russian and Italian special bars, leaving just one. And other complicated things, and getting rid of the pages we never got round to making. Like the golf course. Thoughts? I'm already beginning to feel drunk with power...sick sick power... - [12:51 6 August 2010] TheYetTalk
Yeah, simplifying it might be for the best. It's complications seem to have led to it's demise. And the dampening drama sounds very good. We aren't a mafia, we're "community organizers". Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 16:28, Friday 06 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
Yeh. Just stepping in when drama kicks in and repeatedly leaving joke comments no matter what, so that it becomes impossible for serious drama to take place. I like that idea. I would say death to the overcomplicated money thing, the Russian Members Only Bar, the Italian Members Only Bar, the Rackets Room, the Golf Course and the Shooting Range but keep the donate a dollar thing, just for the sake of it. And maybe less ranks? Maybe we need a 'What We Do Page' too. - [16:33 6 August 2010] TheYetTalk

The what we do page is definitely essential, and joke comments are wonderful things. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 16:41, Friday 06 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

Hey what's up with going back to this side of the page? This side smells funny. Of hobo. Joke comments are, indeed, wonderful. - [17:25 6 August 2010] TheYetTalk
i c wat u did thar Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 18:02, Friday 06 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
Indeed, so are you willing to waste your time helping me waste my time? - [18:50 6 August 2010] TheYetTalk

Not cool[edit source]

Not cool, bro. Aaadddaaammm 19:57, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Hi. I happen to be loitering around this talk page and since Colin has not answered yet: can I help? - [21:09 6 August 2010] TheYetTalk
Dammit, I can see not record of it, but [2] this picture was changed (passive voice) to Goatzee, so it would show up "in the news". I found it disturbing (but strangely alluring), so reverted it and posted a quick note her to say it was me. Aaadddaaammm 21:23, August 7, 2010 (UTC)
He got banned for 2 months for that.--HM (T) 21:28, August 7, 2010 (UTC)
[frigging edit conflict, I will leave the message unchanged however] I had a word with the admin that blocked Colin. They deleted the picture so there wouldn't be a record of it. Colin was blocked for two months. —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:29 7 August 2010]
Your sig looks great against a black background (slight homo) --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 08:32, August 8, 2010 (UTC)
My sig?? —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [12:30 8 August 2010]

That Colin is one crazy bastard. -- boring Ape (untie) (Riot Porn) 22:27, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

hehehe. Yeah... Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 05:30, August 8, 2010 (UTC)
Haha, good stuff. It seems like a bit of overkill, it's actually pretty funny. And very much in the spirit of uncyclopedia eh! Aaadddaaammm 07:18, August 8, 2010 (UTC)
No, it's not in the spirit of Uncyclopedia. We are a humor wiki, not a lulz wiki. If you want Goatse on the front page you can go to ED. --Andorin Kato 07:21, August 8, 2010 (UTC)
Andorin, chill out please. -- boring Ape (untie) (Riot Porn) 13:22, August 8, 2010 (UTC)
It is true though, it doesn't really make me laugh... —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [13:48 8 August 2010]
It made me laugh, and in any case, its not a big deal and takes 5 seconds to revert. I just don't like this distinction between humour and lulz, I think that's the source of a lot of the current tension. Anyway, don't want to have that argument on Colin's talk page particularly. -- boring Ape (untie) (Riot Porn) 13:57, August 8, 2010 (UTC)
I do agree though that maybe the ban was a little harsh, especially since it was apparently an infinite ban to start with. —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [14:02 8 August 2010]
I generally don't laugh at goatse, but when Colin does it... It would upset me more if he didn't, man. Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 22:27, August 8, 2010 (UTC)
Colin has done this before. The rules say goatse gets you banned. Plus, it's not funny. So...yeah.--HM (T) 00:23, August 9, 2010 (UTC)
I don't know previous history so withdraw comments. —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [00:56 9 August 2010]
I think it's funny independent of whether or not Colin should be banned for a while. -- boring Ape (untie) (Riot Porn) 01:17, August 9, 2010 (UTC)
Is that sentence missing a comma or am I just very tired? —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [01:18 9 August 2010]

Dawn Of The Dead (Remake)

Paradise Abridged[edit source]

It's up on VFH. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:53, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

Did you just get unbanned?[edit source]

? —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:22 19 August 2010]

Why yes, yes I did. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 04:15, Friday 20 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
Why hello! —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:29 20 August 2010]
Well, I suppose see this....
Have I whored my newest article to you yet? (And I may not respond to your next response for a while, as it is 5:30 AM here and I'm about to head to sleep.) Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 10:32, Friday 20 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
I'll check it out. Have I whored my this, to you? —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:39 20 August 2010]


Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost[edit source]

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 11:59, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks[edit source]

For that vote on VFH. I 'ppreciate it! —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [17:38 20 August 2010]

Mafia[edit source]

Do pop in, sometime. —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:29 22 August 2010]

Faggit[edit source]

How ya been my nig? -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN21:24, 27 Aug

I've been fairly decent, though I'm going back to public high school, and I'm banned from Freenode. How about you, you big sloppy homosexual you? Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 01:24, Saturday 28 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

Oops[edit source]

Sorry I screwed on you in IRC, I got disconnected accidentally and had to go. Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:02, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, no big, it's fine. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 02:03, Friday 03 September 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

stuff on stuff[edit source]

This list may and be changed, added to, and removed from at any time without prior notice as my current suggestions change and the article changes.

1. shit doesn't randomly explode normally... and with oil there would be lots of investigations and stuff, its not exactly unknown territory to assrape the earth get oil

2. i love where oil disaster links linked :( try to put back in the desert storm reference

3. "Maybe they had just heard about the BP oil spill, and saw how weak it would look? No one can know" wtf does this mean? removed from article

4. "whoever potentially probably did this" doesn't work with the style of rest of the quote. the guy seems of at least moderate intelligence before then, can't just turn him retarded removed from article

5. "Some government analysts see a flaw in this outcome, however" I don't like this sentence. A flaw in this outcum? Wtf is that supposed to mean? I changed it. Along with the order. Before I had no idea as to how this could made sense, much less be funny. If it was some analysts doubting that it was done by terrorists or maybe doubting the specific terrorist chosen! YA THAT ONE! (maybe using 9/11 as a reference (get in your link that way too ;] )) could make the argument that the standard suspects would have done a much better job. maybe it was the egyptian mafia or some such crap. Idk. But the Al Quieda (however the fuck you spell it) would have done a much better job. I think this could add something to the article to make it more than the usual 'blame the terrorists, lol' theme. Theme more of blame the terrorists, but done so shitty we are having trouble figuring out what terrorist could have possibly done it. Could add either as a quote or a note that no terrorist groups have publicly taken credit for this, used as 'proof' that it was done so badly they are ashamed or something (while a sane person, aka the reader, would see it as proof that terrorists didn't do it, but don't mention anything along those lines in the article).

6. "The explosion, which had the chance to kill 13 workers, left none injured." "left none injured" barely brings attention to it, it is really small. It's the whole point of the article in my opinion! Maybe "miracously left none injured" Another thing is you could add that the explosion did almost no damage or something like that? That the terrorists not only failed to hurt anyone, they failed to even damage anything.

7. see my added paragraph. the 13 workers were maybe merely inconvenienced by the 'explosion' or didn't even know it happened until told about it later.

8. i'm sure you know this, but flesh out the suspected terrorism line. without it the news ain't funny.

ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO REVERT MY EDITS I DO TO THE ARTICLE ITSELF. I AM NOT HERE TO STEAL THE ARTICLE FROM YOU.

-- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 06:18, Sep 3

Errr Colin[edit source]

Your sig is becoming quite outrageous -

Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 02:03, Friday 03 September 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shorten it so it matches the Xs please? Thanks. ~Jewriken.GIF 10:10, September 8, 2010 (UTC)

That's because Wikia has disabled the sighidden function, Mordillo. Wikia is Ebil! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 10:18, 8 September 2010
Yeah, what Socky said. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 10:20, September 8, 2010 (UTC)
Dear god, they've disabled?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT ON EARTH!!!?! —JERRY WHORE MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [16:41 8 September 2010]
Ah yes, EBIL WIKIA. Thank god we have them to blame. Sorry Colin, keep doing whatever that you were doing. What were you doing anyway? ~Jewriken.GIF 11:36, September 9, 2010 (UTC)
That's for me to know and the CIA to keep files on. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 20:51, Thursday 09 September 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk[edit source]

MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 12:49, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks![edit source]

You voted in support of antinatalism. The future totalitarian world government will make sure to have you sterilized. Thanks for participating in saving the planet! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 14:05, 13 September 2010

MINDFUCK[edit source]

Icons-flag-pi.PNG Pirate Lord__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 20:56, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

Did I thank you?[edit source]

I think I did... but thank you again for voting for Pursuit of Happiness, love. Although your signature is just annoying. You know the links cannot be accessed if they go over linebreaks, right? ~ Lyrithya sig daji.png Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 17:02 (UTC)

You're most certainly welcome. It's a right funny article. And yes, I know, I just happen to like the jumpy effect is has when you rapidly run your mouse over it. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 22:48, Wednesday 27 October 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
D'oh. What a reason. ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101028 - 00:00 (UTC)
It gets my vote as the best signature on Uncy. A fun one, not a boring one like Aleister 00:30 28 10
It'd be more useful if it came with consistently accessible links to your userpage... you could turn the hammer and sickle into a link. ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101028 - 00:45 (UTC)
Yeah, I'd considered it, but now you've put the image of an increasingly frustrated user trying to click link to my userpage into my mind, and quite frankly, it's very entertaining. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 00:48, Thursday 28 October 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
Actually, I just typed User:Colin into the searchy thingy and you came up just fine. Now there be links elsewhere. But okay. ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101028 - 00:52 (UTC)

Sincere thanks[edit source]

WOTM is the heaviest award ever - just see.

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:17, Nov 1

Ohhh![edit source]

Yummy!

ShowLetter.gif

No not that! I'm about to eat an ice cream pervert! --Dancing dude Jammy Grue Jammy.gif Dance.gif 20:09, November 26, 2010 (UTC)

... Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 20:17, Friday 26 November 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

5th-trimester abortion[edit source]

(Was watching you on RecentChanges) Don't you mean 4th-trimester? Spıke ¬ 04:07 28-Nov-10

Nope, I mean 5th. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 04:31, Sunday 28 November 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

As in 4th through 6th month after birth? Very well. Spıke ¬ 04:32 28-Nov-10

Have to let the fruit ripen before making a pie, you see. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 04:36, Sunday 28 November 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

Thanks![edit source]

And thanks for helping me write it, of course. It could have never been featured without you. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 18:58, 5 December 2010

Instead of doing something productive...[edit source]

I have come to demonstrate what a terrible mistake you made voting for me for UotM last month. Really, I do not understand what you possibly could have been thinking, but what is done is done, and now I suppose I should be gracious and attempt to thank you, or something. As I do not know how to be gracious, however, I will instead give you a carefully chosen line of Madness, for you to keep as your very own:


UotM needs more love this month, of course, but as I am indeed here to be a terribly useless lump, instead of imploring you to vote for a rather wonderful fellow who should have gotten it last month, I'll just end now and sign this with a signature that has, indeed, been confirmed to be... er, against policy, or something. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png Major Pleb Dame LyrithyaAthyriaIsarraHaydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotMUotMRotMPotMUGotM x4 • SotMFFSNOMMotMBFF x2 • GSA x2 • PSFiyCMDTop3 x3 • Top10VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoSTAWHMCPEEINGPRSPCURCΥΣΣICZB -- 21:39, 9 December, 2010 (UTC)

Merry Christmas![edit source]

SantaWTC.png


Kip > Talk Works Sophia It's Peanut Better Jelly Time!!! Carlton2.gif Rotating Rick Astley.gif derp Sexy Snoo.png Knight of the Order USA! 22:39, Dec. 12, 2010

Hey...[edit source]

Thank you. For your indignance on my behalf regarding those illogical against votes. I appreciate it. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya AthyriaIsarraHaydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotMUotMRotMPotMUGotM x4 • SotMFFSNOMMotMBFF x2 • GSA x2 • PSFiyCMDTop3 x3 • Top10VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoSTAWHMCPEEINGPRSPCURCΥΣΣICZB -- 23:04, 4 January, 2011 (UTC)

Any time, fair lady. Undignified behavior in the face of perceived injustice is just one of those things I do. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 23:22, Tuesday 04 January 2011 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

ya[edit source]

Uncyclopedian of the Month Award Uncyclopedian of the Month January 2011

--Roman Dog Bird 02:54, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Hey there..[edit source]

Colin "All your base" Heaney, just popping to let you know that it's your time to shine as the articles are all locked up and ready for judging. Your are Best Illustrated category and you put your results here. Good luck:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:08, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

hey Colin "All your base" Heaney[edit source]

i need a adopter for the adopt a noob program you seem cool will you adopt me and send me a message when you can thanks webby790

Alright, I can dig it. Any questions, right off the bat? Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 00:16, Monday 14 February 2011 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

Could you get round to your judgyfying duties soon?[edit source]

As you need to be done judging for tomorrow:)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:01, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

HAPPY MONKEY COMPETITION MARCH 2nd[edit source]

Happymonkeywinter2011.jpg ¡¡¡ OLÉ !!!  :)

--Shabidoo 10:41, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

Madison[edit source]

Did you make it over to Madison? How was it? I have a page you may appreciate on VFH, the UnNews where a 5-year-old girl talks to the governor. Dexter and MrtheJazz made a great audio for the page. Did you see doggies when you were in Madison? Peace through strength! Aleister 4:00 27-2-'11

It was pretty bitchin'. Also, cold. I caught a glimpse of Michael Moore. I had a sign that said "The Little Boy Who Cried Fascist". And I saw dogs, yes. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 22:30, Tuesday 01 March 2011 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
Doggies! Please run, don't walk, to read my page on VFH and listen to Dexter and mrthejazz's audio. I envy your participation on the street, in the action, and protecting your sandwich from Michael Moore. More, tell me moore, I mean more. Aleister 3:39 2-3-'11
Hello, did you check out the featured article today? It's my 2nd Madison page, the one with the great audio mentioned above. Please let your friends in Madison know. I hope that the Governor or someone on his staff reads the thing. Aleister 1:20 4-3-'11
I've showed multiple people your articles, and gotten positive responses from all of them. They're pretty amazing. And I wish he would, but he'll probably be too busy sending out layoff notices to public employees. Also, is there any possibility of you having a Facebook I could add? Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 01:27, Friday 04 March 2011 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
Wow, thanks. I didn't know if you had seen that featured one yet. No, I don't use Facebook or twitter or the others, not even IRC here. That's one of the reasons it seems like I spend lots of time here (multi-tasking much of that time), it's my choice social site (I do have other sites I look at and sometimes write on, but this one is home base for now). Maybe the Capitol Times would give a mention of that feature. Hmmmm. Aleister 1:31 4-3-'11

Blocked for 3 months[edit source]

You have been blocked for the following reasons;

Disruption and removal of important information.

Date the block will be lifted; August 25th, 2011. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Derecho (talk • contribs)

Oh man, he sure got you good. See you in three months, buddy.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 06:37 May 26, 2011
Dammit, and I was looking forward to some sheep shagging when I got back... - Colin obviously using a proxy to evade his ban.

Hmm...[edit source]

This was your idea, wasn't it?

Also, where'd you wander off to, anyhow? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 15:01, 5 July 2011

I believe it was, if you can count bullshitting on IRC as coming up with the idea. And I am currently in Montana, where I will be until the end of August. The internets just started working here, however, so I should be on a bit more frequently. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 22:19, Thursday 07 July 2011 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

Recent UnNews template[edit source]

Please run your stories by a third party before adding them to the Recent UnNews template. Thanks. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 23:13, 23 July 2011 (UTC)

Lawl. -- boring Ape (untie) (Riot Porn) 23:18, July 23, 2011 (UTC)
That's what I get for using that damn bargain-bin fourth party. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 03:09, Sunday 24 July 2011 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

Cider[edit source]

I love's this article. Can I remove the fire? mAttlobster. (hello) 21:14, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

JFK BLOWN AWAY WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SA - Sure, go for it. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 21:20, Thursday 28 July 2011 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

Vandal's Paradise[edit source]

Hey Colin, I'm sorry to inform you that your article died in the recent conflagration of Forest Fire Week. Instead of just deleting it, I moved it to your userspace (User:Colin "All your base" Heaney/UnTunes: Vandal's Paradise) for posterity. —rc (t) 00:51, August 10, 2011 (UTC)

*poke*[edit source]

This is just a reminder that you offered to judge the PLS, wound up with your name on a section, and still haven't done it. Apparently the deadline for results is October 12th, so... uh, please do so before then, and stuff. Cheers. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 20:22, 8 October 2011

Greetings[edit source]

I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 18:57, 6 January 2012

You sir[edit source]

Are a tremendous faggit. Have a nice day. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN21:42, 11 Aug

Some people just don't understand the deep appreciation I have for Seal. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 02:40, Thursday 16 August 2012 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

Adopt a Noob[edit source]

Hi,

My name is ChinaTownGypsie and I would very much like to become a funny Uncyclopedia editor. I feel I am funny enough but I have no idea how to write and how to make it professional looking. I am not sure how Adopt a Noob works but I would appreciate it greatly if you would adopt me as a Noob. It took me about an hour to work out how to do this so any help would be appreciated.

ChinaTownGypsie

Unsignpost - 20130207013217 gibberish asdf[edit source]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:32, 7 February 2013



It is the day of USP love, Valentine’s Day[edit source]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 01:31, 14 February 2013 (UTC)

Crikey! It’s a rare, wild UnSignpost![edit source]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 00:32, 21 February 2013 (UTC)

IS THAT YOU COLIBN I TOSS YOU INTO A PUPPLE WITH A SMEGM MONKEY and takes you're[edit source]

lunch momey7 -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 18:09, 26 February 2013 (UTC)

Surprise, Motherfucker, USP[edit source]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:47, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

I thought I heard the Imperial March. USP time, everybody![edit source]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 20:33, 7 March 2013 (UTC)

You fuckerman[edit source]

Why not hop on now? User:Multiliteralist/SoS and good time will be had. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 18:31, 8 March 2013 (UTC)

Can I have some salad with my UnSignpost?[edit source]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 11:39, 14 March 2013 (UTC)

People like the UnSignpost because it’s hot! It has the best graphics and everything. Marcus, USP! Step yo’ game up![edit source]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 02:25, 21 March 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost’s BONER TIME![edit source]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 21:51, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

Happy Fun Candy[edit source]

Newcookie.gif Somebody has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

This isn’t an April Fool’s Day Prank! This is the UnSignpost![edit source]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 18:21, 4 April 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost Time, Folks! I repeat, UnSignpost Time![edit source]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 00:33, 11 April 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost, late and lazy![edit source]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 01:33, 19 April 2013 (UTC)

The 2 Days Tardy USP![edit source]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 00:59, 27 April 2013 (UTC)

Week-old news two weeks late: The UnSignpost![edit source]

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Tue, Jun 11 '13 2:30 (UTC)

UnSignpost is back[edit source]

And enjoy the news! Anton (talk) 17:42, 6 July 2013 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: a brilliant new format but less news[edit source]

The UnSignpost
In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!


Anton (talk) 14:13, 8 August 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost: yet another new format but still less news[edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!

– Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 03:56, 5 May 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

HMC[edit source]

Hmc2014.jpg
Your topic for the competition is The unusual hamstring pain fat people get when they sexual role play as babies, and how to cure it

So go create an article on your user space. Contact me (or an admin if I don't respond soon) for any questions. You have two days. Remember:

CREATIVITY, ORIGINALITY and HELARITY. You will be judged on all three of these out of 10 for a score of 30.

HAVE FUN!

--ShabiDOO 18:06, 14 June 2014 (UTC)

You did it! This year is a record for semi-completed and finished articles. I've been blown away by the humour and creativity of the articles I've so far read! Watch as the scores slowly trick in over the next week here. Hope you enjoyed it you stud-cupcake. --ShabiDOO 05:24, 20 June 2014 (UTC)

Dishonourable mention[edit source]

Dishmc2014.jpg
You did it.

Your article The unusual hamstring pain fat people get when they sexual role play as babies, and how to cure it

was good enough to just not make the top 3

which if you had tried just a little harder or bribed the judges it would have happened. Well done! --ShabiDOO 20:30, 29 June 2014 (UTC)

It's back! - The UnSignpost[edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes
~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 08:49, 25 July 2014 (UTC)

Two weeks in a row? A new record! It's the UnSignpost[edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!
~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 22:34, 1 August 2014 (UTC)

Great idear for you[edit source]

It would please me if you got some fish, blended it all up, took all your clothes off, and rubbed the mixture of fish chum and bones all over your naked body, then buy a boat, get your boating license, and drive it out to shark infested waters, and jump in, preferably holding glow sticks.... In fact, forget the boat, boating license, jumping into shark infested waters, and glow sticks! The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  01:58, 5 August 2014 (UTC)

Does this look infected to you? It's the UnSignpost![edit source]

The UnSignpost
Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 8 '14 12:18 (UTC)

Now your talk page is more active![edit source]

SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Mon, Aug 11 '14 7:53 (UTC)

Now your talk page is more active![edit source]

SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Mon, Aug 11 '14 7:54 (UTC)

Now your talk page is more active![edit source]

SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Mon, Aug 11 '14 7:54 (UTC)

Now your talk page is more active![edit source]

SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Mon, Aug 11 '14 7:54 (UTC)

Now your talk page is more active![edit source]

SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Mon, Aug 11 '14 7:54 (UTC)

Now your talk page is more active![edit source]

SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Mon, Aug 11 '14 7:54 (UTC)

Now your talk page is more active![edit source]

SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Mon, Aug 11 '14 7:54 (UTC)

Now your talk page is more active![edit source]

SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Mon, Aug 11 '14 7:54 (UTC)

Now your talk page is more active![edit source]

SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Mon, Aug 11 '14 7:55 (UTC)

Automated request[edit source]

Babysayingaaa.jpg
Please archive your talk page
This default text has been chosen by a jury of its peers as the best on the site
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Mon, Aug 11 '14 8:00 (UTC)

More {{Boner}}s than a ragged Playgirl: It's the UnSignpost![edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 15 '14 20:08 (UTC)

We gave The UnSignpost an enema, so now it's regular![edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 22 '14 2:11 (UTC)

We ever going to do this?[edit source]

this.  Special:Contribs/Sir Peasewhizz Sir Peasewhizz ... Biblio . HOS . Awards 03:47 8.22.14

We ever going to do this?[edit source]

this.  Special:Contribs/Sir Peasewhizz Sir Peasewhizz ... Biblio . HOS . Awards 03:48 8.22.14

OMG! A WILD USP IS ON THE LOOSE![edit source]

The UnSignpost
Just like Grandma used to make!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 02:45, 7 September 2014 (UTC)

Unsignpost delivery attempt numbr hideous implosion[edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!

Brace Yourselves, The UnSignpost is Coming![edit source]

The UnSignpost
Now With 0 Trans Fat!

The USP is coming for you! (and your little dog too)[edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the USP?[edit source]

The UnSignpost
Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

dicks lol: It's UnSignpost time![edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

The UnSignpost is back, baby! (And also a little bit of front)[edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

Vote, Vote, Vote[edit source]

It's that time of the year again! We're going to be showing off our Top Ten Articles of 2014 soon but so far, very few people have voted. It's all up to you to decide what's the best of the best! Go to Forum:Top 10 Articles of 2014 and vote now! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:22, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

Nice One[edit source]

Colin "All your Cocks, Please". 18:22, 6 August 2015 (UTC)

Stop[edit source]

vandalising people's userpages. Thanks! 202.142.129.178 (talk) 23:16, 6 August 2015 (UTC)

Nah...I like what he did on mine. I like it when (very once in a while) someone does something silly on my userpage. It just takes a second to revert it and it adds some life to the place. ShabiDOO 00:18, 7 August 2015 (UTC)
I like what Woody did on mine, but others I hate. MUN MyOwnBadSelf, The BFDI Fan (talk - stalk - block) 00:27, 7 August 2015 (UTC)
i did it all 4 u bb<3 Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 01:47, Friday 07 August 2015 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif

Thank you[edit source]

That means a lot to me. The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  20:44, 13 August 2015 (UTC)

Hopefully 10,000 years will be enough to think about what he did. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat 20:46, Thursday 13 August 2015 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gif Explode fire.gif
Nevermind, you're just an idiot. The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  22:52, 13 August 2015 (UTC)
Vigilance... FU COLIN?! MUN MyOwnBadSelf, The BFDI Fan (talk - stalk - block) 00:49, 14 August 2015 (UTC)
Colin Sux Cox. The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  01:56, 14 August 2015 (UTC)
Agreeable! An 8 decade block will show him! Come back in 2095. MUN MyOwnBadSelf, The BFDI Fan (talk - stalk - block) 03:09, 14 August 2015 (UTC)

I found you![edit source]

Pimps.jpg

--Jinx | Talk | Edits 20:43, 28 September 2015 (UTC)

judgery[edit source]

Hey caybh..competition is over after no one stood up to me with my totally unfair multiple day extension. Go ahead and finish evaluating all the articles and pick a first second and third place. Leave some constructive criticism if you can. ShabiDOO 00:44, 16 December 2015 (UTC)

Merry Xmas, Turkey Day Ball is Over[edit source]

Get to some judgin' already, you are spoiling xmas for children everywhere and making the Baby Jeebus cry... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Judgery[edit source]

Señor, could you please please pretty please finish the judgery super super duper pleasy please!?¿¿?! ShabiDOO 00:53, 28 December 2015 (UTC)

U SARE SI SGAY[edit source]

LIKE A FO XY OUR DUMBY XD I FUNY RUGE?!?! XE YEAH. The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  06:07, 8 February 2016 (UTC) REMEMBER TILDE MI RITE?!?#?

Adopt Me[edit source]

I have been browsing this horrible ... I mean awesome website for years.

However, I didn't have an idea for an article until now.

It might be tough to pull off on my own and I feel that Being Adopted is the best way to create it.

Moonlight Shadows 18:50, 4 August 2016 (UTC)

I'd imagine that you'll have him at "pull off on my own".... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Useless Gobeshite Lifetime Achievement Award[edit source]

Useless Gobshite Lifetime Achievement Award Nominated from Sepetember 2015 - March 2017; Useless Gobeshite Lifetime Achievement Award Congrats on being the first ever winner of this new wonderful award. -- The Zombiebaron 00:42, 23 March 2017 (UTC)

I'm so sorry I only got around to congratulating you on this esteemed honour only now. I've been busy jerking off my pet hedgehogs while choking on frozen cookie dough. Congratulations though!!! ShabiDOO 00:13, 6 October 2020 (UTC)

Happy Monkey Competition 2021[edit source]

HMC2021logo.png

Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:29, 10 February 2021 (UTC)

UnSignpost Home Delivery for May 1st, 2021[edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!

Poo Lit Surprise is back![edit source]

The 15th Poo Lit Surprise contest is here! This multifaceted competition, with four distinct and open categories, is open between June 1st and June 21st. Five $10 prizes, as well as a bonus $5 prize, are up in the air! Here are the open categories this year:

  • Best Mainspace Article - for articles in the traditional sense.
  • Best Alternate Namespace Article - for stuff like UnNews or even UnTunes!
  • Best File - replacing Best Potatochop, all self-made files are allowed here (with a few exceptions)!
  • Best Rewrite - for the best already-existing articles rewritten from scratch.
  • Best Template - A brand new category this year: the best template wins!

To register, please consult Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise, add your name to the table in the category you wish to join, and link your entry once you are ready. Everyone is welcome, regardless of seniority!

Judges may enlist at User:Cassie/PLS/Scoring. Judges may not participate in the category or categories they enlist in, but are free to participate in other categories!

Good luck folks!  Cassandra  (talk02:32pm  May 31, 2021

Poo LIt Surprise due date coming up[edit source]

Hey all! You have three (3) more days to submit something to the Poo Lit Surprise contest if you wish to do so.

Good luck with your creations!  Cassandra  (talk) 23:28, 18 June 2021 (UTC)

It's beginning to look a lot like…[edit source]

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021

Santakitty.gif

Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?
Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  – Zana Dark  talk to me  AJTA (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 13:22, 13 December 2021

Merry Christmas and all that jazz[edit source]

Santa Baby…

I heard that you were single again, well then—we should hook up real soon. Santa baby, Facebook me and give me some likes.


Santa cutie, Snapchat me and send me some pix, not dicks—but if you want, I don't mind. Santa cutie, favorite me on Instagram.
Slide into my chat DMs—add me to your list and we'll be more than friends. I'll follow you on Twitter too, and this Christmas won't be quite so blue.
Santa baby, I saw you had a Tinder and I swiped right—found your Bumble account. Santa baby, Match with me so we can Meetup.

Santa honey, if you call me up on the phone—we'll bone. I won't play hard to get. Santa baby, do you have white hair down there?


Santa baby, you don't have to wear a condom, come on—we can play 'Just the Tip'. Santa baby, even if it's just for one night.
I haven't been with lots of men—but last time I got laid he said I was a ten. I'm sure that we could have some fun—if you work out and don't weigh a ton.
Santa baby, don't forget the presents this year—like beer, or perhaps some good wine. Santa baby— let's get drunk, Netflix and chill…Here's a hundred dollar bill?..I'm on the pill…

 – Zana Dark  talk to me  AJTA (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 19:29, 24 December 2021