Forum:I know nobody cares
...but if they did and they made some heart-felt plea for me to come back and do this again, I would tell them I can't - I simply can't handle this fiasco. I will return if there is ever a re-uniting. There is no need for two sites. As Commander Kruge said, "I don't care which".
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GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 02:45, 12 April 2013 (UTC)
- I want you back. I want you to love and hold me all night. And I want you to write awesome articles, because you seriously write some of the best on Uncyclopedia. And you also have an esoteric username. And you make life worth living, oh baby. -RAHB 03:11, 12 April 2013 (UTC)
I can hold you all night and all day Sunday. I would and I can. But come back to this or the other site or some third one that springs up the next panty-raid that happens? No. I would do anything for love, RAHB, but I won't do that.
I know I wrote some mildly amusing articles here and there, but I don't claim that the site is a disaster without me. But I do think I helped up the humor level in general. So only in that sense can one perhaps say the site is less than it could be with my contribution, regardless of how much you or anyone else loves and misses me. But I really feel that this turn of events was beyond the pale.
The thing is, both sides were right about what I have come to believe were their main points. Both are true: Wikia's censorship was assinine, and the site's humor didn't rely on whatever it was that Wikia felt needed to be censored. So the right thing to do would have been to do one thing or the other. But now, the site is divided and suffering from the effects of torn synergy: the sum of these two parts is so far below the whole that I can't do it.
Who's in charge of reconstructing this Union? Because I'd advocate an attack on Fort Sumter to make it happen. And I'll fight on the side that is winning. The strength in unity trumps all of your arguments. That's how I feel.
I tried to find video to add to this rant of when Commander Kruge ordered the murder of one of the Enterprise crew, but you'll just have to trust me. He said famously "JiashBe!" Klingon for "I don't care which". Kill one of them. I don't care which. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 03:59, 12 April 2013 (UTC)
- You forgot to link Alfred Hitchcock. -RAHB 04:33, 12 April 2013 (UTC)
- Come back to this site if you ever come back. The other site has a very weak contributor base. The writers here are stronger, the admins are less worse, and some other compelling argument of why this is the better of the two Uncyclopedias. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:52, 14 April 2013 (UTC)
- Just saw this. Number one, as much as I was sad to see Tourni go, I think starting a forum like that was a bit undignified. Teasing people with a comeback is to me the emotional sister of rageleaving. Secondly, the split is what it is. If your goal is to write and read funny stuff, you can do it at one site or both, I don't see the difference it makes. I visit The Onion and The Daily Mash, it wouldn't make much difference to me if they were united or split. Finally, Tourni, one site will not die because a) this one involved some people putting in a lot of time and money which they are not going to simply forget about cos you said so, and b) there are staunch critics of the fork at the Wikia site who will not jump ship. Leverage (talk) 07:45, 19 April 2013 (UTC)
:::I make up excuses for leaving all the time whenever my ideas start running dry or whenever I start taking the place too seriously (mostly they coincide). Starting a forum - I do the same thing myself, so I recognise the symptoms. There's often no way around it, though: it comes with the intensity of character and whatever else there is. If you take something seriously, you want to defend your way of doing it, along with other circumstances related to it. I'm not trying to defend myself or GT. I just want to point that what happens there is mostly a case of a positive thing turning negative. It's fucked up and those who don't have to do it should consider themselves fucking lucky. -- Style Irrelevant. -- Style 
Guide 09:14, 19 April 2013 (UTC) Guide 06:20, 26 April 2013 (UTC)
Hey that's a new one. I'm rage-not-coming-back. I didn't rage-quit, I took a break because I got an exciting actual writing opportunity and Uncyc was a ruthless time-eater. I'm still not done with the job though, so maybe this "undignified" forum really was a thinly veiled rant. Accept my humble apologies, Leverage. And Dexter, perhaps the fact that I only posted it here betrays my agreement with your take. It looks like this is where it's at, for the most part. It is what it is - yes, that's true. I'm going to assume the Rodney King meme has already been invoked regarding this, so I will not melodramatically (not to mention apophasically) plead for us all to just get along. Ah, me. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 17:16, 24 April 2013 (UTC)
- Just to clarify my post - I didn't accuse you of rage quitting. I read your forum post back in the autumn and was sad to see you go. I always found you a positive presence on the UnNews. Nor do I want your apologies, because they're not necessary. I'd be happy to see you back, on either side of the fork in the road. Leverage (talk) 18:26, 24 April 2013 (UTC)