User:Sonic80

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Welcome to Sonic80: UnNews Correspondent extraordinaire.
Currently finishing off old Articles I didn't quite abandon (see this and this).
UnNewses will recommence when they are finished.

May 13, 2019 18:39 UTC

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In one month, Snooki has become the single most effective form of birth control legally available.

Population of men who identify as gay up nearly 200% in month following leak of Snooki nudes

MARLBORO, New York -- Pregnant Jersey Shore star, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, has once again grabbed headlines in the last month, becoming the most recent pop culture star to have intimate photographs leaked from their cellphone. In the month since their release, the LGBT community has announced a massive increase in new membership among recently out of the closet males, many of whom had never exhibited homosexual tendencies prior to viewing the photos.
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Latest news reports:

Whats this? Sonic80 is writing News again? Apparently... But what happened to all the old news articles you wrote Sonic80? Have no fear! They have been nicely collected HERE!

2012

2011

July 2010

June 2010


BEST OF Sonic80:

An early problem faced by the producers was portraying the actors as ridiculous two-dimensional comic book characters. They finally achieved success just in time for the 'Spider-Man' closing night.

'Spider-Man' Broadway show opens without a hitch; closes while on top

NEW YORK, New York -- The brand new, mixed-review Broadway show, Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark finally opened today after a series of performance related injuries, technical errors, and a general inability to complete the two-act musical in under four and a half hours delayed its original release date by several months. The cast and crew were pleased to say that the show "opened without a hitch," which was new for them. The opening night of the $65 million show went so well, according to director Julie Taymor, that "tonight's show marks the closing of Turn off the Dark."
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Sonic80's non-UnNews Articles