Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Cookie Monster (rw)

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The Cookie Monster[edit source]

Conservation week rewrite, I think I did good Icons-flag-pi.PNG Pirate Lord__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 23:13, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 7 I gave you a seven because this article is average. It's probably way better than the original, but I don't think it stands out as a shining pillar of hilarity on Uncyc. The article seems rather short for my taste. I think the problem with its mediocrity is in the concept, so move down one section please.
Concept: 6.5 The concept of the Cookie monster being a cookie addict is a wonderful idea. Tourette's? Not as great. The tourette's thing is workable, I just don't know why, because without the second pic it makes no sense. And that's all you've got! Just "cookie addict" and "tourette's victim." There is definite room for expansion. Add another aspect to the cookie monster's life. He can't be only about cookies and cussing. Also, the two ideas that you have feel underdeveloped. From the very start, the Cookie monster is addicted, just like that. Add some backstory, make it longer.
Prose and formatting: 8 The prose is decent, but sometimes confusing. "He tried his best to avoid the teachings of Hoots, but in the end found himself unable to." What?
On formatting, my only suggestion is to reduce the size of the 3rd pic.
Images: 7 average. I don't have any suggestions on how to make it better... Oh well.
Miscellaneous: 7.1 Avg'd.
Final Score: 35.6 With more content, this could be feature-worthy.
Reviewer: Necropaxx (T) {~} 16:38, Oct 8