Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Parallel Parking
Parallel Parking[edit source]
I feel like the ending is incredibly weak. 
Pirate Lord__Sonic80 (Yell • Latest literary excretion) __ 15:32, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | Please excuse any harshness in this review, as I haven't done these for a while.
Right, so, parallel parking, the one thing that defies being tamed by even the best of humankind. And that's what drives quite a bit of this humour; the fact that we learn something so difficult yet esoteric just for the sake of it. Good use of irony, highlighting of absurdity, and hurrah for teenage sexual frustration. You've captured quite a bit about the teen mindset, I feel. Now, why a 6? The concept. |
| Concept: | 6 | Yes, the concept.
What's wrong with it? Well, despite the deceptive title of this article, it seems that the article for the most part does not deal with parallel parking. Parallel parking is just part of the road test, which you chose to be your main focus. It feels like you just squeezed an article about the road test into a stub about parallel parking. Focus more on how parallel parking is a tool for road test instructors, not on the road test itself. Alternatively, rewrite this as an article on the road test (the option I would personally go with, but feel free to ignore), with that central part with the two scenarios following brief explanations of each part (stopping, 3pt turn, parallel parking, etc.), then move it to "Road test". |
| Prose and formatting: | 8 | It's very well written, and I would only check some of your punctuation before/after quotes/dialogue/onomatopoeia. You make good use of italics, bold font for emphasis, although personally I would have bolded as well as italicised the THUD. Also, the reason your ending seems weak is probably because the last section just consists of "Never", a message which you have already conveyed several times.
In addition, links and categories are your friend! Consider having a "see also" section linking to relevant pages, and definitely put something like [[Category:Life]] or [[Category:The universe]] or [[Category:Everything]] at the very end of your page. |
| Images: | 7 | No objections. The sheer obliviousness of that car wreck caption is priceless. Well, I guess the second image could have a better one-liner, but for the most part, the images are adequate at this point. If you want to lengthen the article or change it to "Road test", though, don't forget to adapt accordingly. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | I'm feeling lucky.
No, just kidding, it's just the first four scores averaged and rounded up. |
| Final Score: | 34 | This definitely has promise. It's pretty funny, and could be even more funny with a bit more effort, focus, and content. Proofread, edit, rename if you want to, and definitely persevere! It's all worth it in the end. |
| Reviewer: |                Sir MacMania GUN—[04:13 17 Jul 2010]
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