User:Procopius

	Writer of the Month October 2006

	Foolitzer Prize Winner November 2006

Uncyclopedia:Babel This user is an Apprentice in the Potatochoppers' Guild, and has earned a modest amount of respect.

This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.

This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians)

This user is a reporter for UnNews because they couldn't get a job at a real newspaper.

This user is hereby nominated an HONORARY JEW, and is entitled to all honors and persecutions as such.

I accept full blame for these articles:

• Bold -- Featured; Italics -- Quasi-Featured
• Louis XVI
• HowTo: Criticize the Media
• Game:Choose Your Own Adventure (but for God's sake, improve it)
• William Gladstone
• Dark Ages

Two! Two monks! Ah ah ah.

• Battle of Gettysburg -- Tenth best article of 2006!
• Blackbeard Catering Company
• Antiques Road Rage Show
• Washington and Lafayette
• The white guy in All-4-One
• HowTo:Write A Cover Letter (P. Lit entry, August 2006 -- winnah!)
• Erraticus (P. Lit entry)
• Sarai
• Edward the Gibbon
• Begging the question
• Third Epistle to the Thessalonians
• Hays Code
• Mae Zedong
• Defender of the Clown
• Church of God the Wholly Incompetent
• New Hampshire Merchant Cat
• Positivity (reskin?)
• Political advertising
• Sexual harassment
• Mystery Science Theater 3000 (re-imagining)
• Joe Namath
• Assassins from the future
• H. L. Mencken (rewrite)
• User:Procopius/Bunson's blunder (under construction)
• Misquoting Jesus
• Democrazy
• User:Procopius/Blonde in tight jeans and a haltertop (under construction)

As well as these UnNews stories:

Diogenes is happy to see people feature UnNews. Seriously. He doesn't look like it, but he's jumping for joy on the inside.

• UnNews:U.S., military locked in codependent relationship
• UnNews:Congress approves trade pact with MRS SANI ABACHA
• UnNews:Pirates looking forward to Steelers' training camp
• UnNews:Pyongyang destroyed by huge sea reptile
• UnNews:Congress renews Voting Wrongs Act
• UnNews:Fed chairman likes big bucks
• UnNews:Diogenes searches world for honest mechanic
• UnNews:Antiques dealer gives daughter low appraisal
• UnNews:U.N. calls for Bono-brokered ceasefire
• UnNews:Queen regrets the colonies that got away
• UnNews:GoBots theme fails to leave Bush's head
• UnNews:Baby not taking baptism well
• UnNews:Miami celebrates Castro's replacement with Castro
• UnNews:EU vows to end Mideast strife with "Children's Crusade"
• UnNews:Freemasons hold fundraiser; refuse to say why

UnNews:John Mark Karr confesses to Lindbergh baby kidnapping

• UnNews:Minister just making up history as he goes
• UnNews:Vogons: Earth no longer a planet
• UnNews:Instapundit on Katrina lessons: "Blame the media"
• UnNews:"Jesus vs. Palpatine" debate rages over Internet
• UnNews:LBJ elevated into Holy Trinity
• UnNews:SI's Tom Verducci loses interest in non-Yankees baseball
• UnNews:Militant atheist decides her car keys never existed
• UnNews:Toby Keith acknowledges sexual relationship with truck
• UnNews:Wikipedia: No stupid dogs exist
• UnNews:Iraq celebrates Saddam Hussein verdict with sectarian violence
• UnNews:Nancy Pelosi to be paid 50 percent less than Dennis Hastert
• UnNews:Milton Friedman demands free-market afterlife
• UnNews:Wikipedia defends featuring "History of hard-core fucking" article
• UnNews:Oprah Winfrey opens South African starfucking academy
• UnNews:IPhone big hit among wealthy, stupid
• UnNews:New England Patriots sign five-year extension with Satan
• UnNews:U.N. translators channel job frustration through soybean summit
• UnNews:Retailers gearing up for Black History Month
• UnNews:God denies connection with Colts' owner
• UnNews:Dissolute border collie has no boundaries
• UnNews:Phoenix Lander discovers dirt on Mars
• UnNews:John McCain dazzles fundraiser with "Tribute to Phil Ochs"

I accept 99.9 percent of the blame for:

• Snopes (Rewrite, reformat)

I accept 75 percent of the blame for:

• War of 1812

I accept blame for the top half of:

• American Civil War

I made inconsequential changes to:

• PBS
• Your mom
• Crimes inspired by video games
• Mel Gibson

I urge you to read:

Arr, get ye to the Blackbeard Catering Company fer lifelong memories!

Strive to increase the double entendres for Glorious Chairwoman Mae Zedong!

• Martin Van Buren
• The Incredible Hulk
• Redundancy
• I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle
• Timeline of the big bang
• Humosexual
• Ug's Club v. Thog's Head
• Grue's Clues
• New and Improved
• Disco Jesus
• UnBooks:Uncyclopedia for Dummies
• John Seigenthaler Sr.
• Gay Pride
• U.S. Presidential Election, 1840
• Mickey Mouse the Great
• Total Fucking Asshole Server 2006
• Wall Street Crash of 1929