User:Procopius/Positivity

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Today's slice of a rainbow

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Pandemonium erupted in a South-East Melbourne suburb when a homeless man wearing nothing except a beard ran wild after police attempted to give him a bath.

The man, a local transient, is well known to police as a serial offender, having already been charged multiple times with loitering, affray and creating a public stench without a permit.

The public ordeal, which was captured on video by amateur voyeurs, shows the man running from police after an attempted sanitary-based intervention. After escaping the clutches of local police, he assaulted several on-lookers with his malevolent odour; some of whom suffered bloody noses and required medical attention. Police then attempted to recapture the man, only to lose their tentative grasp on the naked man's soapy body. Futile attempts at spraying the man with a can of deodorant failed to subdue the stink and an observer was seen buckling over in pain after getting the deodorant in his eyes.

After a brief chase, the exposed man fell over and police officers closed in to apply a healthy dose of hygiene with a few swift strikes from their cleaning sticks. However, the man refused to go down without a fight, and police officers could be seen running away from the stinky bum as he continued his dash for freedom. After several minutes of police following the man at a safe distance, the chase came to an end when the man collapsed under the weight of his own intolerable stench. (Full article...)

I didn't know that! Thanks for the contribution!

*... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
  • ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?

Things are marvelous! Thank you!

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Isn't history amazing?

...I'm Humbert Humbert, so European, all over your kids, I keep on peeing / My prose so haute, though you might forget, I'm a dirty old rapist and a piece of shit / I wandered all over, till I shot Hugh Hefner, and my girlfriend's dead 'cus I'm a sex offender / The State of Florida has asked us to disclose our sexual crimes to you...

June 13: Double Entendre Day ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)

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Recent rays of sunshine


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So many happy souls -- how do I pick? OK, here's two!

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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