Babel:Gv

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Ahoy, me hearty and welcome to Pirateopedia (formally HMS Uncyclopedia), the duty-free encyclopedia that pirates can edit Arghh!


Davey Jones has inspired us to sink and pillage 41,033 ships since we set sail in January 2005.

Before running out your guns, please read the ships charter and the pirates code or you'll be Walking the Plank.
If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then speak to polly(sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight)

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Most Succesful Pirates | LLoyds List's | Other Ships...


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The Autoconspiracy 2000 (more commonly known as the Conspiracy Theory Generator) is a top-secret computer program built by the world's most elite historians and computer scientists for the purpose of expanding historical knowledge beyond that which would normally not be achievable by humans. The goal of the program is to map out and eventually solve every historical uncertainty by "Exploring the Infinite Chronoscape" as the program's metadata puts it.

Early versions of the Autoconspiracy can be traced back to prehistoric times, where archaeological records show evidence of some particularly clever cavemen who had studied the natural patterns of moss and of mud to explain the origins of organic material. More refined methods of discovering hidden truths came later, culminating with the final Autoconspiracy version, Autoconspiracy 2000 c. 2000. (Full article...)

You can vote for your favorite Pirate to be avoid the handmans noose.

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What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!

To live is to suffer

February 25: Gangrene Appreciation Day


Archived doings

What be worrying the Land Lubbers


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He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Filesr/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life

Recent deaths: Brad ArnoldNFL season • Winter OlympicsSome kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny titleJames Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert DuvallKurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse JacksonYouTubeTom NoonanEric DaneMelania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy and snow handling capability • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' MaduroIran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to rememberMexico


Pirate Times


Arghh, I'll wagger you didn't know that...

From Uncyclopedia's roughest captains:

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  • ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
  • ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost?
  • ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
  • ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
  • ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?

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Recent press ganged crew


More Recently press-ganged crew | Most wanted pirates | Requested Keel Haulings | Add to stumps | Marooned with nowt but a pistol and one shot | Help out the land-lubbers

Pirate of the Month and Swabbie of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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