Babel:1337

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Featured today, a long long time ago

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DID Y0U KN0W...

06052009.jpg
  • ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
  • ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
  • ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
  • ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
  • ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
  • ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
  • …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?

IN 7H3 N3W5

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Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and DeltaruneEurovisionRussian InvasionIsrael-Palestine conflictDOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft MovieTrump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park LinkinGawr GuraToxicityGirl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill SobuleRuth BuzziLeBron James' playoff run • Night CourtLopez vs Lopez

Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi MangioneKate MiddletonLaura PalmerDEIGoogle's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom

0N 7HI5 D4Y...

It is said by ancient Vedic scholars that the world is suspended on the molars of two hungry, hungry hippos, locked in permanent battle.

May 10: Step-Mothers-in-Law Day

  • 1497 - Amerigo Vespucci invents the trendy Vespa scooter, rides it across the Atlantic in search of idyllic cobblestone streets to glide across.
  • 1979 - The tiny Federated States of Micronesia is accidentally squashed by a hippo. (Pictured)
  • 1985 - Live Aid Concerts announced, starving Africans rejoice knowing that in twenty years time poverty will be eradicated.
  • 2004 - Cheap Christmas trees on sale spotted in IKEA.
  • 2006 - "National Step-Mothers-in-Law Day in the USA" organised by The Association for Most Ignored Relatives, founders of "National Younger Half-Brother Day", and "National Grandpa's-26-Year-Old-Girlfriend Day."
  • 2006 - Africa on a diet, pop stars have saved the world!
  • 2016 - Pokémon Sun and Moon comes out for the 3DS. Buy that shit nigga.
  • 2037 - Young MC turns 70, the irony threatens Earth's existence.

70D4Y'5 F347UR3D PIC7UR3

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Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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