Babel:1337

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Medieval poop art1.png

Such woe, my bladder filled right to the brim,
If but perchance I sought to take a leak
Yet now my pantaloons now stainèd swim
In urine which now dribbles down my feet!
If only to the loo I'd gone posthaste,
Such musings are the act of lesser men;
My fav'rite pair of leggings would not waste,
But truth be told, I'll piss my pants again.
I never learned to listen to 'ol Blad
My colon wretches yet I never poo
Now brown and yellow mix with tidings glad,
Instead of me relaxing on the loo.
(Full article...)

DID Y0U KN0W...

150x150 BETbooty.gif
  • ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)

IN 7H3 N3W5

Foreshadowing.png
Well, that says a lot...

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys

Recent deaths: Ozzy OsbourneChuck MangioneHulk HoganResident AlienDown syndromeTom LehrerThe systemFUBARCartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence StampThe Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) • Trump's pet slothJoe Burrow's toe • Robert Redford

Upcoming deaths: DEIR. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger (in jail) • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan BergmanDallas Cowboys' and Cincinnati Bengals' seasons • MSNBCLil Nas XDonald TrumpWindows 10

0N 7HI5 D4Y...

Hornytoad.jpg

September 17: Horny Day, Hypnotic Sex Change Day

  • 1803 - Freud hypnotizes a patient into believing she is a Swiss milk maid who has married him. Nine months later, she inexplicably gives birth to a basketball.
  • 1900 - The world's 1,000,000,000,000th human orgasm (but only the 84,379th female orgasm) occurs in Plovdiv, Bulgaria.
  • 1932 - New state phallic symbols capitol buildings are dedicated in Nebraska, Louisiana.
  • 1954 - Drive-in gay porn theatre debuts in San Francisco; Joseph McCarthy hosts ribbon-cutting ceremony.
  • 1975 - The world's tallest free-standing phallic symbol, the CN Tower, is completed in Toronto.
  • End of Time - The Infinite Number of Monkeys with Typewriters experiment concludes, havign produced all literature that has been or ever will be, plus four poems about the flinging of feces.

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Lost
The elusive sign to the Stairway to Heaven.

Image credit: Codeine
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images


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Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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