Babel:1337

Moses was a Hebrewian fiction writer, actor and lawgiver. He was perhaps best known for writing the first five volumes of the best-selling book, The Bible and for being the actor who played himself in the film version of The Bible, "The Bible: The Musical", and "The Bible II: Electric Boogaloo". Obsessed with letting his people go, he later exposed them to God and trapped them in the laws of religion for the rest of their lives. Moses was born into a Hebrew family, but was put up for adoption because laws against the bearing of male children had been passed after the Pharaoh had seen people washing their babies in the River Nile. (He thought that it was disgusting and wondered why they didn't use royal baths like he did.) Baby Moses was sent to an adoption centre but didn't take to his new life. After years of causing much trouble at the adoption centre, he was finally adopted by a rich Egyptian family who thought that they could turn this young tearaway into a well-mannered young man. (Full article...) Recently featured: Kurt Vonnegut · UnNews:Flat earthers 'do not exist' · Niggers Archive · Vote for featured articles Featured today, a long long time ago Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.1.1: Warning: No results. UnBooks:My Summer Vacation in Saudi Arabia, featured on 8 September 2013: Featured version DID Y0U KN0W... ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured) ... that this is why we can't have nice things? ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish? ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once? ... and if you haven't before you just did now? ... the muffin man?

IN 7H3 N3W5 Photo credit: Fox News UnNews remembers Burt Reynolds (Pictured) Trump blows up the outside world in Soundgarden tribute Supreme Court says Mississippi River is too gay, renames it to Mistersippi Louis C.K. goes outside in George Michael tribute John McCain dies at 81 Metal Machine Music overtakes Chris Gaines as worst selling album of all time Fox News: 9 out of 10 Aretha Franklins are Patti LaBelle Halloween soundtrack arrives in October Madonna is 60. Feel old yet? UnNews remembers Aretha Franklin TV's Mrs. Garrett dies at 92 Lordy, there are tapes! Trump would/wouldn't flip changes US history The Dark Knight: Ten years later Chevy Chase, Maryland to change name to Bill Murray Donald Trump farts A Saucerful of Secrets is 50 years old! Also Michael Jackson 0N 7HI5 D4Y... September 8: International Precision Day Sometime Someone invents like counting or something. 1, 2:05:32 PM: Counting is invented by a female human named Digits Counting, 1.745 meters tall, after 4 hours, 8 minutes and 16 seconds of thinking about the problem of shortening sales reports. 70, 6:12:55 AM - 11:03:44 PM Roman legions under the command of Titus sack Jerusalem. 1930 - 3M begins marketing Scotch transparent tape, which sells better than Scotch transparent crayon. 1950: The world's first sit-on lawnmower goes on display in Paris. Rioting ensues. 1962: Segregation is repealed. 1986: Plurals Plural banned in the Netherland (formerly known as the Netherlands). 1992: Woman finds baby in dumpster. Declares her a daughter. 2000 - No one cares 2001 - They still don't care 2002 - Hey look!...nah, don't care 2003 - People start to care after free booze is supplied to them via the Red Cross.

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{{Votevfp.dpl|image=IWinAd.png |name=iWin |size=300px |caption=Even the power of an iPod is no match for the common gun. |credit=Llama-Llover |scoretext=justifiable homicides |nom= |fornumber=30.5 |for= Self Nom and For - spent a while working on this, and it's completely original too, so no complaining. --The Llama Llover!!! 01:20, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For, because I STILL haven't gotten tired of iHumor, even after the fad, the reskin, and the two wars.--<<>> 03:15, 19 December 2006 (UTC)d For. I agree with Brad - # of Featured Pictures involoving Star Wars: 8; # of FPs involving Jesus: 5; # of FPs involving Hitler: 3; # of FPs involving Apple Computer: 1 (and just barely).   t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 03:30, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For - not bad, but the iPod looks a little weird --Another 05:27, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For. Right, I don't care what anyone says, this is very good. I couldn't care less if it was an Apfel joke, it ought to be featured. Good work. -- Hindleyite Converse • ?pedia 13:03, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For--Kenmcfa 20:09, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For --Poltergeist 20:15, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For --Jedravent 00:52, 20 December 2006 (UTC) iFor Good 'un--Witt, of UNion Entertain me* 05:47, 21 December 2006 (UTC) For - still a good and more importantly funny image (even IF Llama-Lover changed his mind on MY image....) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me) 18:54, 21 December 2006 (UTC) Comment - point taken.... but I still don't understand your picture- maybe if you could, say, explain it? --The Llama Llover!!! 20:27, 21 December 2006 (UTC) For. -- Sir C  Holla | CUN 23:02, 21 December 2006 (UTC) For--GAMESPOT=666 02:46, 22 December 2006 (UTC) iAgainst iHate the iMeme. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 08:55, 23 December 2006 (UTC) For changed my mind. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 20:37, 3 January 2007 (UTC) For --Xsine diff For Nice pic, awful caption (luckily this is VFP, rather than VFC).--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:55, 23 December 2006 (UTC) For - David Gerard 01:54, 25 December 2006 (UTC) for - jack mort | cunt | talk - 20:13, 26 December 2006 (UTC) For Blah Blah Blah 23:09, 29 December 2006 (UTC) For It seems more like a repudiation of the aforementioned cliche than a perpetuation of it - the guy with the ipod getting capped by the guy with the .45! --» His Majesty King George VI (the boxes) 09:12, 2 January 2007 (UTC) Strong For. It's funny to me. I hate iPods.--Procopius 20:46, 2 January 2007 (UTC) For --Nodobot 04:21, 3 January 2007 (UTC) For iLike it. Hmm, sorry. 20:31, 3 January 2007 (UTC) For Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 22:26, 3 January 2007 (UTC) For JoshGads 00:32, 4 January 2007 (UTC) For Yay, iWin! ...What do iWin? --General Insineratehymn 02:51, 4 January 2007 (UTC) Comment - A Heavy Lourde dropped on top of you. --AAA! (AAAA) 06:53, 4 January 2007 (UTC) For It's funny because it's true!Triple-Quadruple 04:57, 5 January 2007 (UTC) You can no longer vote on this image. Use PFP instead. --AAA! (AAAA) 07:42, 5 January 2007 (UTC) Cs1987 Marco Raimey Feureau goshzilla 212.158.245.101 Martinultima Martinultima ForestAngel Aykaramba |againstnumber=12 |against= Against. Can I complain that it's really not all that funny? --Sir Tripod2282 cun vfp talk Active ~01:59, 19 December 2006 (UTC) Against Errr...I can see you put effort into this...sure. Its just that it doens't make sense, and neither does the caption. Oh, and iJokes are so November 2005. --Sir Zombiebaron 02:43, 19 December 2006 (UTC) Against any more Apple jokes. - Sikon 11:51, 19 December 2006 (UTC) Against. --Uncyclon - Do we still link to BENSON? 21:05, 19 December 2006 (UTC) Against - I'm not really enthused about it. --Alksub 08:37, 21 December 2006 (UTC) Against iHate the iMeme. no, yuo chat 14:49, 21 December 2006 (UTC) Naah. Overused, overrated. --The Rt. Hon. BarryC MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 16:42, 23 December 2006 (UTC) Against--J. Fuckin Kyle (talk) 20:22, 25 December 2006 (UTC) uLose (or Against) --AAA! (AAAA) 23:11, 25 December 2006 (UTC) Todd Lyons Zerotrousers Kaizer the Bjorn |comments=Featured —rc (t) 06:22, 4 January 2007 (UTC) |%PAGE%=Uncyclopedia:VFP/IWinAd.png|%TITLE%=VFP/IWinAd.png|%DATE%=|%USER%=|%ARGS%=§image=IWinAd.png §name=iWin §size=300px §caption=Even the power of an iPod is no match for the common gun. §credit=Llama-Llover §scoretext=justifiable homicides §nom= §fornumber=30.5 §for= Self Nom and For - spent a while working on this, and it's completely original too, so no complaining. --{User:Llama-Llover/sig} 01:20, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For, because I STILL haven't gotten tired of iHumor, even after the fad, the reskin, and the two wars.--{User:Bradaphraser/sig} 03:15, 19 December 2006 (UTC)d For. I agree with Brad - # of Featured Pictures involoving Star Wars: 8; # of FPs involving Jesus: 5; # of FPs involving Hitler: 3; # of FPs involving Apple Computer: 1 (and Image:Ipod floppy.jpg§just barely). {User:Tompkins/sig} 03:30, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For - not bad, but the iPod looks a little weird --{User:Another/sig} 05:27, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For. Right, I don't care what anyone says, this is very good. I couldn't care less if it was an Apfel joke, it ought to be featured. Good work. -- {User:Hindleyite/sig} 13:03, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For--User:Kenmcfa§Kenmcfa 20:09, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For --User:Poltergeist§Poltergeist 20:15, 19 December 2006 (UTC) For --User:Jedravent§Jedravent 00:52, 20 December 2006 (UTC) iFor Good 'un--{User:Witt E,/sig} 05:47, 21 December 2006 (UTC) For - still a good and more importantly funny image (even IF Llama-Lover changed his mind on MY image....) -- {User:Mhaille/sig} 18:54, 21 December 2006 (UTC) Comment - point taken.... but I still don't understand your picture- maybe if you could, say, explain it? --{User:Llama-Llover/sig} 20:27, 21 December 2006 (UTC) For. --{User:Sir Cornbread/sig} 23:02, 21 December 2006 (UTC) For--User:GAMESPOT=666§GAMESPOT=666 02:46, 22 December 2006 (UTC) iAgainst iHate the iMeme. {User:§ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ/sig} 08:55, 23 December 2006 (UTC) For changed my mind. {User:§ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ/sig} 20:37, 3 January 2007 (UTC) For --Xsine diff For Nice pic, awful caption (luckily this is VFP, rather than VFC).--{User:Modusoperandi/sig} 23:55, 23 December 2006 (UTC) For - User:David Gerard§David Gerard 01:54, 25 December 2006 (UTC) for {User:Jack_mort/sig} 20:13, 26 December 2006 (UTC) For User:Blah Blah Blah§Blah Blah Blah 23:09, 29 December 2006 (UTC) For It seems more like a repudiation of the aforementioned cliche than a perpetuation of it - the guy with the ipod getting capped by the guy with the .45! --{User:George_VI/sig} 09:12, 2 January 2007 (UTC) Strong For. It's funny to me. I hate iPods.--User:Procopius§Procopius 20:46, 2 January 2007 (UTC) For --User:Nodobot§Nodobot 04:21, 3 January 2007 (UTC) For iLike it. Hmm, sorry. {User:FreeMorpheme/sig} 20:31, 3 January 2007 (UTC) For {User:Prettiestpretty/sig} 22:26, 3 January 2007 (UTC) For User:JoshGads§JoshGads 00:32, 4 January 2007 (UTC) For Yay, iWin! ...What do iWin? --{User:Insineratehymn/sig} 02:51, 4 January 2007 (UTC) Comment - A hrwiki:Heavy Lourde§Heavy Lourde dropped on top of you. --{User:AAA!/sig} 06:53, 4 January 2007 (UTC) For It's funny because it's true!User:Triple-Quadruple§Triple-Quadruple 04:57, 5 January 2007 (UTC) You can no longer vote on this image. Use PFP instead. --{User:AAA!/sig} 07:42, 5 January 2007 (UTC) {u§Cs1987} {u§Marco Raimey} {u§Feureau} {u§goshzilla} {u§212.158.245.101} {u§Martinultima} {u§Martinultima} {u§ForestAngel} {u§Aykaramba} §againstnumber=12 §against= Against. Can I complain that it's really not all that funny? --{User:Tripod2282/sig}01:59, 19 December 2006 (UTC) Against Errr...I can see you put effort into this...sure. Its just that it doens't make sense, and neither does the caption. Oh, and iJokes are so November 2005. --{User:Zombiebaron/sig3} 02:43, 19 December 2006 (UTC) Against any more Apple jokes. - {User:Sikon/sig} 11:51, 19 December 2006 (UTC) Against. --{User:OsirisX/sig} 21:05, 19 December 2006 (UTC) Against - I'm not really enthused about it. --User:Alksub§Alksub 08:37, 21 December 2006 (UTC) Against iHate the iMeme. {User:No, yuo/sig} 14:49, 21 December 2006 (UTC) Naah. Overused, overrated. --{User:02barryc/Signature} 16:42, 23 December 2006 (UTC) Against--{User:J. Fuckin Kyle/signature} 20:22, 25 December 2006 (UTC) uLose (or Against) --{User:AAA!/sig} 23:11, 25 December 2006 (UTC) {u§Todd Lyons} {u§Zerotrousers} {u§Kaizer the Bjorn} §comments=Featured {user:Rcmurphy/sig} 06:22, 4 January 2007 (UTC) }}

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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