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White people (also delicately called Crackas, Caucasians, Europoids and Honkies) are pasty, melanin-deficient humans who have been sprinkled throughout the planet to exploit its resources and boss around everyone of more humble colors. White people are allegedly smart (in ways that don't really matter) and complain about stupid stuff, even though they have it better than every other race. Despite having more privilege than can fit in a human body, they don't believe this is the case and in fact, feel entitled to even more and want to you know this all the time. In fact, whites love to hear themselves talk so much that they assemble entire collections of their own words (known as books) which are mostly about them.

Whites discriminate against everyone else. Non-whites, by comparison, don't discriminate against whites, because they don't have majority power, so it isn't discrimination even if they do. This means that even if a Chinese person said the most outrageous sounding racist thing against a cracker, it wouldn't be racist (see logic in previous sentence). If you don't get it, then you're racist. (Full article...)

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


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To be completely honest,
I didn't get those awards.