Satan vs. Tyson
Satan vs. Tyson, billed as Payback or Mike Tyson Goes to Hell, was a boxing match between Mike Tyson and Satan for the World Heavyweight Championship on Tuesday, June 6, 2006. Widely regarded as the greatest boxing match of all time and one of the most anticipated fights ever, it garnered an estimated 940 million viewers.
 Promotional poster | |||||||||||||||||||
| Date | June 6, 2006 | ||||||||||||||||||
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| Venue | Seventh Circle of Hell | ||||||||||||||||||
| Title(s) on the line | World Heavyweight Championship | ||||||||||||||||||
| Tale of the tape | |||||||||||||||||||
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| Result | |||||||||||||||||||
| Tyson wins by knockout in the seventh round | |||||||||||||||||||
Background
In mid-2005, Satan had started to publicly question and denounce Tyson's recognition as the "Baddest Man on the Planet." When Tyson learned of this via an interview, Tyson grinned at the camera. Soon after this interview, Tyson challenged Satan to a professional boxing match in order to see "who the baddetht man of the planet really ith." Satan accepted and arranged for the fight to happen in Hell.
For Tyson this fight was for all the marbles: lose, and his soul would be damned to Hell; win, and his soul would be taken into the Kingdom of Heaven.
Fight
Ever since the fight was confirmed, a team of scientists and workers dug a massive hole into Hell. On the day of the fight, Tyson jumped into the hole and started falling into Hell. Tyson was in a freefall for approximately six hours, six minutes, and six seconds.
Every soul in Hell was either attending the fight, or watching it via PPV. Dead celebrities who had been damned to Hell were seated ringside.
When the match started, Satan immediately got a point deducted by punching Tyson in the balls. Tyson was given five minutes to recover. Tyson eventually composed himself and started closing the distance between him and Satan, using his footwork to eventually put him in the corner and unleashing a combination of uppercuts and hooks to the head and body. Satan used his head movement to slip Tyson's left hook and counterpunch Tyson's body, which was a brutal left hook to his liver. Tyson went down.
While Tyson was down, Satan pulled down Tyson's trunks and started to violate him. Tyson clenched his ass cheeks, which crushed Satan's fiery red –
A Brief Interlude The continuing verbal description of this event is probably not fit for general audiences. Suffice it to say that both Tyson and the Prince of Darkness continue to up the ante by alternatively perpetrating acts of such lewdness and degradation upon each other that it is far better for everybody concerned if we just simply skip over the remainder of this sordid scene, and rejoin the action in round two.
After the horrific scene that unfolded in round one, the rest of the fight was normal.
From round two to four, Satan looked to be unstoppable. His elite footwork and head movement made it hard for Tyson's dynamite punches to land. Satan also had massive power in his hands too, as Tyson could be seen mildly dazed after some punches from Satan. Satan eventually started tiring himself out with his constant footwork, head movement, and power punches. In the fifth round, Tyson eventually landed a right hook on Satan's jaw that put him to the canvas. Satan barely beat the ten count and was obviously showing signs of fatigue.
In the sixth round, Tyson kept putting pressure on Satan and almost knocked him down when an uppercut wobbled him. In the seventh round, Tyson threw a combination of punches considered to be one of the best of all time. Tyson hit Satan in the body with a nice left uppercut, followed by a straight right punch to the solar plexus. Then a powerful left hook right on Satan's jaw. Satan stumbled back into the corner, and kept getting peppered with power punches. Satan's attempt to block these punches were futile. Satan dropped to the canvas and was completely unconscious after a right uppercut by Tyson.
Tyson was made undisputed heavyweight champion of the world and was sent back to the surface of Earth, courtesy of a defeated and embarrassed Satan.
Legacy
The fight was extremely well received by everybody who watched or attended it. Satan had become disgraced and really fucked up the political situation in Hell, which has since spawned four different civil wars in Hell.
Controversy
The souls in Hell were torn on the fight. Immediately after the knockout, some souls started cheering, and some started booing and getting violent. Soon after, Hell had a circus-like atmosphere. This fight is the reason for the four civil wars that have happened in Hell since then, and still continues today.
Some people thought Tyson had sold his soul. While the contract stated that if Tyson had lost, he would be damned to Hell, Tyson did not sell his soul to win the fight as some claim. Satan has made multiple statements throughout the years that "Tyson had won fair and square", and that "it's a damn shame we won't have him down here when his time is up." After most of his public statements on the fight, Satan would go into another room and start sobbing uncontrollably.
Reception
The fight is regarded to be the greatest boxing match of all time. It had an estimated viewership of 940 million people.
In a list made by ESPN, this fight was ranked number one in their list 50 Greatest Fights Ever.
In a list made by The Ring, this fight ranked number one in their list The Best of Mike Tyson.
In a list made by Sports Illustrated, this fight ranked number one in their list The Greatest Boxing Matches of All Time.
This fight was inducted into the International Boxing Hall of Fame.
Tyson was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
See also
