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CHeaP Original SoftWare According to God's True Word, here are the worst 100* ways to deliver bad news. If you have to tell someone you crashed his car, killed his dog or banged his mum, don't use any of these methods (or at least start at the top). * God does not care to count this list too closely, and believers are wise not to criticize divine numeration policy. (Full article...) Recently featured: I ACCIDENTELATY CREATED A MEME · UnNews:New documentary challenges Simpsons aliens · Al Gore Archive · Vote for featured articles Send This mail to 1000000 contacts, or the universe will explode. Send this mail to 999999 contacts edit Special Offerts!! December 11: - Asian Boom day 1229 - Pope Gregory IX deletes thirty-one days from the Gregorian calendar, during a Florentine siege of Rome that had prevented toiletries from entering the city. 1841 - Oscar Wilde imprisoned for practicing heterosexuality in England without a Royal permit, a capital offense. 1941 - Germany and Italy celebrate for the first and last time "Let's Go To War With Russia Day." Italians and Germans regret this decision by 1945. 1941 - Mao Zedong suggests to rename "Chinese demographic boom" to "Yelow bang". Due to unpopularity of this idea among his generals, all of them were executed. 1953 - Trans-dimensional squirrels attempt a coup on the Kremlin but are driven back after the Soviets break wind in unison, creating a tear in the fabric of the universe into which the invaders are obliterated, nuts and all. 1983 - A passenger airlines goes Boom over the South China Sea. Only the pilots and hostesses survive after they are seen moments before the explosion floating in a rubber dingy thousands of miles below. Thank you for flying AirChina. 2005 - Face of Oscar Wilde is seen in a frozen pizza 2009 - All forms of international combat are banned by the UN. From this point on, international disputes are decided by caged death matches between the leaders of conflicting nations. 2009 - Annual 'Try Communism Day' is celebrated by the people of Lancashire 2010 - Lancashire appoints Ted Dansen as Director of the Communist Party 2011 - President Ted Stevens brutally beats Hu Jintao to death in a cage match, completing his domination and conquest of every country on Earth. Ban of weaponry two years earlier regarded as "a mistake" by most UN officials not already killed by Ted Stevens. 2012 - The Uncyclopedia website announced that it was the 11th November. Featured Cheap Items!	edit News on cheap electronic deviceS!!:. Santa Claus now "probably about a four" on the Kinsey scale Whirlpool Galaxy files restraining order against Neil deGrasse Tyson Jeff Bezos caught stuffing old fat dude into his trunk (Pictured) Trump releases abhorrent holiday stimulus package George H.W. Bush dies: Best and worst of his life Murphy Brown revival not cancelled, (Dan Quayle joke withheld in light of recent events) Solipsist suicide bomber "not true solipsist" says solipsist community Book finally sells after 27 years, now Hollywood's calling UnNews remembers Stan Lee How would Ye sound as a metal band? Vote your ass off Kang and Kodos offensive, claims documentary RWNJ vandalizes Halloween billboard ad It looks like your ad blocker is on UnNews remembers Burt Reynolds Trump blows up the outside world in Soundgarden tribute Supreme Court says Mississippi River is too gay, renames it to Mistersippi Louis C.K. goes outside in George Michael tribute John McCain dies at 81 Metal Machine Music overtakes Chris Gaines as worst selling album of all time Fox News: 9 out of 10 Aretha Franklins are Patti LaBelle Halloween soundtrack arrives in October Madonna is 60. Feel old yet? UnNews remembers Aretha Franklin TV's Mrs. Garrett dies at 92 Lordy, there are tapes! Trump would/wouldn't flip changes US history The Dark Knight: Ten years later Chevy Chase, Maryland to change name to Bill Murray Donald Trump farts A Saucerful of Secrets is 50 years old! Also Michael Jackson BUY THIS AT BUYBUYBUY.COM edit This is a great teaching from your doctor. From Uncyclopedia's playwrights: ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time? GET MORE INFORMATION
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YOU ARE THE 100000!! VISITOR OF THIS PAGE!!! YOU WON!! HERE ARE ANOTHER WINENRS Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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