Babel:Spam

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Finger Cancer is a leading cause of premature death among people who die of hand related diseases. Finger Cancer is prevalent in the entire animal kingdom. The dinosaurs got Finger Cancer all the time and even mushrooms suffer the disease (especially in winter). Right now, at least one human being has Finger Cancer this very moment right now. Victims are always young healthy men who dress well and know how to smile for the camera. Finger Cancer is a silent cancer meaning the cancer is unable to communicate verbally; instead it interacts with the host by infecting the skin of the finger with toxic carcinogens instead of having an open dialogue and a sincere conversation.

There is no cure for Finger Cancer, though some traditional healers claim that rubbing cayenne into one's eyeballs while chugging Frog Semen® helped cure at least one cancer patient according to a Mexican soap-opera. The only proven treatment for Finger Cancer is amputation. All fingers and toes have to go whether they are infected or not – it's either every digit lobbed from the body or the frog semen. (Full article...)

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Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza War, now with Iran! • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • NBA finals and Stanley CupAaron Rodgers finally signing with a team • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass

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From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?


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Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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