Babel:Nk

로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 41,071 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution. Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...

Today's Party Column Jangles was a United States soldier and chimpanzee in the Vietnam War. Jangles was found outside of the city of Saigon in late 1967, assumed to have escaped his enclosure at the Saigon Zoo. Soldiers of the 101st Airborne Division took Jangles and cared for him. Eventually, their company commander jokingly sent Jangles off to the United States Army Airborne School, where he graduated at the top of his class. Jangles then served as an infantryman with the 101st Airborne Division, and briefly with the 5th Special Forces Group, earning the Special Forces tab. He fought in numerous battles during the Vietnam War. Jangles was killed in action during the Fall of Saigon, when he attempted to toss away an enemy grenade that had landed near him and other service members. After the city fell, North Vietnamese troops paraded his corpse throughout Saigon and celebrated their victory. (Full article...) Recently featured: Burj Khalifa You Are In Debt Tesco Aragorn Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device edit Our glorious history December 12: Unfunny Joke Day (US) Wooly Animal Molestation Day (Wales) 1594 - Pickle loaf first made with dill dough. 1806 - Napoleon keeps his armies up his sleevies - a French word for chocolates. 1862 - Three baby seals walk into a club. 1900 - A minister, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. 1901 - Not learning their lesson, the same minister, priest and rabbi walk into a bar, knocking their heads. . 1929 - As a year, was really long and hard. That's what she said. 1933 - Hitler ties his shoes with little Nazis. 1945 - Joshua Ben Cohen discovers that finding half a worm in an apple is actually preferable to being a prisoner in Auschwitz. 1957 - Farmer Frank Peters in Kentuckistan leaves his gate open long enough for one of his chickens to cross the road. 1962 - Larry, a dog from Indiana, loses his nose when it is attacked by some drunk teenagers. Disgusted by his dog's hideous injury and not having enough money to pay a vet, the owner releases the injured dog into a forest on the other side of the state. After a few days of being fly-blown and delirous with pain, the dog begins to smell badly. 1964 - Researchers for the American Horror Book Readers Organization discover that many "Ghost Writers" are employed to write tales that involve ghosts. There is much laughter all round at the irony of this fact. 1965 - A boy takes a ruler with him to bed to see how long he slept. When he awakes, Leonid Breznev, the General secretary of the Soviet Communist Party, hits his stopwatch and informs him that he slept for 9 hours and 35 minutes. He also tells the boy that there are easier ways of finding out these facts and to please not call him again. 1966 - Not learning his lesson, the boy takes a saddle to bed, in case he has nightmares. He is sent to a gulag. 1981 - AIDS is unleashed upon the world by Jesus. 1984 - A baker robs a bank because he needed the dough - which he was able to steal from the lunch room which had its own bread maker, owned by a number of staff members who loved to eat fresh bread at lunch time. 1986 - So this guy comes into a bar, AW CRAP, sorry I said that wrong, it was suppose to be a donkey.....So this guy comes into a Donkey. 1987 - 3 men walk into a bar, one of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole joke plays out with a tedious inevitability 2002 - I hold a bukkake party, but nobody comes. 2003 - A man has the left side of his body amputated. He's alright now. 2004 - A clown is removed from a swing by hitting him in the face with an axe. 2005 - Uncyclopedia is created. 2005 the Third - In Soviet Russia, unfunny jokes don't laugh at YOU. 2012 - The month, year and day are the same number for the last time in the century. Complete, fully accessible party archives	Today's hangul word is procrastination Use this word to awe your enemies.
	edit Today in the DPRK Those poor bastards. ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island (Pictured) Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents" Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. • Sheen Estevez • Chet Ubetcha • Doug Dimmadome Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7 • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard Rodong Sinmun, page 2 edit It is an irreputable fact... ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm? You cannot deny... ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]? More wisdom
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Party members of the month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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