Babel:Nk

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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line
The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...


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Today's Party Column


🙈
“Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.”

Oscar Wilde

Click on Oscar Wilde's handsome face to be taken to one of our best articles!
Choose the next front page article. Write something funny. Do something pointless today.

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Our glorious history

October 20: Run out of ideas for Uncyclopedia anniversaries day

This sign was erected on October 20th...no, wait, it was the 21st. Never mind.
  • 1735 - A French pot head trips on the remains of Napoleon, nobody gives a damn.
  • 1846 - Engrish troops invade Minnesota, realize they took a wrong turn on the way to France and turn around. Indians scalp and rape several.
  • 1864 - Abraham Lincoln issues the Emancipation Proclamation as a joke; unfortunately, nobody gets it.
  • 1965 - A flying saucer lands in California, Scientology briefly becomes popular, at least until the government fire bombed all the celebrities.
  • 1969 - Oscar Wilde is discovered painting a mosaic of Islamic extremists with his urine. Extremists eat sacred cows in retaliation. Gandhi is shocked and appalled, the movie Gandhi II is released as a result of real world events.
  • 1974 - End of an Oil embargo crisis: Most OPEC nations end a 5-month oil embargo against the United States, America tells them to fuck off; invents electric vehicles.
  • 1980 - The world was taken over by the governmen- er... um... Hey guys.. how are you? What with those guns pointed at my head?
  • 1982 - Mount St. Helens erupts in Washington, killing several million hikers and causing US$390 trillion in damage. Government cover up of the tragedy includes flying monkeys with super-soakers.
  • 1988 - Two U.S. Army roflcopters collide in Fort Campbell, Kentucky, killing 1337 squirrels.
  • 1990 - China begins plans to hack google and steal information on McDonalds cheeseburger prep.
  • 1990 - South Korean scientists recreate mohammed from cloned DNA of Chihuahua. The world fell into darkness.
  • 1998 - Beer first enters my stomach. Thousands rejoice.
  • 2005 - Screw this, I'm off.
  • π - The US Supreme Court declares that π has just as much of a right to be a year as any other year and declares the next 20 years to be the year π as back pay for this injustice over two millennia old.
  • 2006 - Actually, I think we have enough for today, but the rest of the month is going to be a pain, well, it's time to go "research" events.
  • 2012 - The apocalypse at the end of the world is discovered to have been caused by unyclopedia running out of ideas for anniversaries.

Complete, fully accessible party archives

Today's hangul word is
procrastination
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK


Billboard replaces Michael Myers with Maxine Waters
No such thing as bad publicity.


Rodong Sinmun, page 2


It is an irreputable fact...

  • ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?

You cannot deny...[edit]


More wisdom

Party members of the month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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