Babel:Te

Welcome to WikiTestament

The free Internet Bible that anyone can edit.

God has written 40,970 Bible stories since opening in AD 1.

Before editing, please check your sources with God, or you will be banished to the wasteland that is Wikipedia.

Browse: Politics - Games - Computers - People - Quaint - Coherent
Most Popular - Alphabetical Index - Other Categories...

THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Mario Kart is a CIA-assisted conspiracy project driving simulator franchise developed by the power-hungry Japanese corporation-from-hell known as Nintendo. It has went on to become one of the company's best-selling franchises since its beginning in God-knows-when. Various characters from Nintendo's Super Mario franchise are placed into a massive friendship-destroying hellhole to drive go-carts and annihilate each other with various weapons of mass destruction. While its well-known origins as a coordinated attempt by the paranoid American Central Intelligence Agency to sever bonds between youth in order to reduce the possibilities of juvenile uprisings around the U.S.A. (and the rest of the world) still have influence over the development of modern Mario Kart games, the main driving force nowadays is Nintendo's endless lust and greed. (Full article...) Recently featured: Presidential Wrestling Classic HowTo:Eat an orange UnNews:A dingo ate my baby Morning Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured. Books Genesis More of the best of the Bible edit Selected Anniversaries {{Anniv}}	edit Recent news: Free bus passes and shawarma for everyone! Until the money runs out.. United Kingdom sends Royal Airforce “specialists” to Belgium to fight Russian drones “invading” airports A new candidate enters the upcoming 2028 presidential race US government shitdown inundates over 1000 flights with shit Democrats finally cave and end the shitdown New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor (Pictured) Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball Dingo eats a woman's baby Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star. Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years The US government shits itself Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Republicans and rich people fleeing NYC Recent deaths: Charlie Kirk • Robert Redford • Jane Goodall • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career • Coral reefs • The economy of Capitalism in NYC • Bills Mafia's livers and kidneys after losing to the Miami Dolphins More Recent News edit Did You Know... ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
edit Recent articles Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More recent articles
edit Article request Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about. Art Peak pretentiousness Business Money, money, money! Comedy The science of funny Culinary Food for the soul Film Enter the Matrix Games Recess time Gay A gay ol' time Geography Get lost History Factually wrong Literature Literally illiterate Internet A series of tubes Music Rock on! Politics Politically incorrect People The people's portal Religion Speak of the Devil Science Playing to be God Society We live in one Technology Breaking stuff easier Television Turn your brain off Theatre To be or not to be Video Games Better than sex Zoology Beware of furries Portals Meta-Portal Community The Community Main Page The Uncyclopedia Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs

For God-related chat, see #uncyclopedia @ IRCnet. (If you don't have an IRC client, you can use this link.) Just change the nickname to your Uncyclopedia name and the channel to #uncyclopedia.)

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and Almighty Satan.