Babel:Te

Welcome to WikiTestament

The free Internet Bible that anyone can edit.

God has written 39,077 Bible stories since opening in AD 1.

Before editing, please check your sources with God, or you will be banished to the wasteland that is Wikipedia.

Browse: Politics - Games - Computers - People - Quaint - Coherent
Most Popular - Alphabetical Index - Other Categories...

THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

We all want to be happy. Nothing is more miserable than feeling miserable - your friends don't want to be around you, it's harder to get a date, and blues music is really annoying. Worse than all this, though, it feels bad to feel sad. Fortunately, there are some very simple tools that can help you be happy. True, when you're happy your friends probably still don't want to be around you, you'll probably still have trouble getting a date, and you still don't have a genre of music to listen to, but at least you can be happy about it all! Positive Psychology experts have completed various studies related to personal happiness. They tend to be extremely boring studies, and not anywhere as near as much fun as the negative psychology experts' studies, but those aren't as significant in what we're doing here at the moment. (Full article...) Recently featured: Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion Cigarette butt Plain Old Elim Garak Mutant Mammoth of Mayhem Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured. Books Genesis More of the best of the Bible edit Selected Anniversaries {{Anniv}}	edit Recent news: Artistic impression of the new tanks. Trump ought to create nazi tanks, with the help of Elon Musk (Pictured) Support our fake album and win a free Palestinian! The Philadelphia Eagles steal the NFL's script and prevent the Kansas City Chiefs from 3‑peating Philadelphia will burn to the ground as a result. Taylor Swift also begins writing her new breakup song for Travis Kelce; it goes something like "Dreamed of a 3‑peat, but you fumbled the play – Lost the Super Bowl and me the same day." Ye has officially lost his fucking mind for the millionth time Donald Trump announces grand opening of the Sierra Gaza Biden announced as new Bond after signing with CAA Trump Taken audition leaked Kendrick Lamar wins five Grammys AND performs Not Like Us at the SuperBowl to over 100 million people, much to Drake's dismay Smokey the Bear revealed to be cause of LA fires NASA headquarters explode as major star goes on break Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • Eagles fans rioting and eating horseshit in celebration, again Recent deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright • The Kansas City Chiefs Dynasty and Patrick Mahomes's legacy • A One Direction reunion Upcoming deaths: Philadelphia • Travis Kelce's sham relationship with Taylor Swift and his career • TikTok, for real this time • Bashar al‑Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse More Recent News edit Did You Know... ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
edit Recent articles Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More recent articles
edit Article request Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about. Art Peak pretentiousness Business Money, money, money! Comedy The science of funny Culinary Food for the soul Film Enter the Matrix Games Recess time Gay A gay ol' time Geography Get lost History Factually wrong Literature Literally illiterate Internet A series of tubes Music Rock on! Politics Politically incorrect People The people's portal Religion Speak of the Devil Science Playing to be God Society We live in one Technology Breaking stuff easier Television Turn your brain off Theatre To be or not to be Video Games Better than sex Zoology Beware of furries Portals Meta-Portal Community The Community Main Page The Uncyclopedia Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs

For God-related chat, see #uncyclopedia @ IRCnet. (If you don't have an IRC client, you can use this link.) Just change the nickname to your Uncyclopedia name and the channel to #uncyclopedia.)

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and Almighty Satan.