Portal:Geography
The Geography Portal
The World is a big (theoretically) round place inhabited by many species of plants, animals and the dreaded Planimals. Many religions have different theories about the creation of the world, from Intelligent Design, to Unintelligent Design. However, the truth is far less dramatic. In actuality, the world was created by God, but He soon regretted this choice. Ownership of the world currently belongs to Great Britain who won the 2 competitions in deciding ownership which were held in 1914 and 1939.
There are rumours of so called "History" from before the period, but these are filthy lies perpetrated by scientists in order to hide their real plan of turning the world into Yoghurt in bitter resentment of their continuing virginity. The Yoghurt is apparently very symbolic, but seeing as you need a PhD in chemistry and 6 years experience in nuclear reactors, it hardly seems worth it. (Full article...)
Geography is a valiant attempt to understand absolutely everything that happens on the Earth's surface. Geographers steal from Geologists, Geophyicists, Economists, Sociologists, Anthropologists, Philosophers, Physicists and Chemists to create pointless spatial analyses. As a result, Geographers know a shitload about many, many things, and fuck all about anything in detail. When being taught as a school subject, geography is known as colouring in for morons. (Full article...)
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| Modern day Assyria. Red airplanes represent all of the places that have been bombed. |
Assyria was one of the greatest empires of Antiquity, situated on the Northeast bank of the Tigris. The word Assyria is derived from mât Aššur, which is the ancient Mesopotamian term for "Land of Assyrius," the flying Minotaur god of Assyria. The western and eastern parts of Assyria consist of two alluvial plains, where irrigation enables agriculture; a vital part of Assyria's economy. The capital of Assyria, which is located between the eastern and western plains at the southern base of the Tigris, is named after the ancient Assyrian god Anuus.
Society and Economy
It is believed that Assyria's civilization resulted from the immigration of a tribe of nomadic goat herders into the area from Middle Earth around 2500 BCE. These people settled in small villages on the wide open plains of Assyria, and then created an intricate system of irrigation that would eventually feed their thriving agriculture.
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| The most destructive civilization to ever walk the earth. |
The Aztecs, long considered as the Mesoamerican equivalent of Spartans, were a collection of ethnic groups well known for perfecting the delicate art of ripping the still beating heart from a man's rib-cage.
Their intricate culture of random violence and ceremonial organ theft became known throughout the West through the chronicles of Spanish explorer Hernando Cortez in which he described the natives as "batshit insane lunatics" and "get me the f**k out of here".
Many of these unique cultural hallmarks stem from the Aztec’s religion which roughly dictates that their pantheon of gods require round-the-clock blood donations to continue functioning or the world would implode on itself.
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Generally speaking, this graphic is actually a very factual viewpoint.
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Geography News
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| Vietnamese currency is called the "Dong". Really. |
SAIGON, Vietnam -- The Americans spend their Dollar. The Britians buy with the Pound. Mexicans employ the Peso, Russians save the Ruble, and Germans parlay the Mark.
Vietnamese use the Dong, and they're not happy about it.
"Why no one tell us?!" said Dien Phat, a store owner in Saigon. "Tourist laugh! Dey say 'How much one soda?' I say 'One Dong!' Tourist laugh! Tourist say 'How much one newspaper?' I say 'Two Dong!' Tourist laugh and laugh! I no know why! Tourist say 'How much for bowl of soup?' I say 'Soup-10 Dongs!' Tourist fall on floor laughing! Tourist say '10 Dong's for one bowl of soup?! So expensive!' I say 'Okay, 7 Dong.' Tourist laugh and laugh more! Say 'You lowering your Dong?!' Tourist pee pants and taken to hospital no breathe! I think 'What going on?! Dis always happen! Happen 6 times last month! Turns out, 'Dong' mean's 'Pee-pee' to tourist! I so angry at Officials!"…
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