Portal:Music

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.

By far the most musical portal you will ever find.



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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.

I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music. I hate music. It sounds like my dog farting. Really eggy. I'm more of a cat person.


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Highlighted Article

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If you make a band, you can be as cool as these guys!

Bored during your holidays? Can't get the girls? Got a lot of money? Are you standing around in an empty garage with a bunch of other people all of whom are looking at you as if wondering what you're going to do next? Well then...

Why don't you start a Band?

Yeah, you won't be very good, but it stops you from being bored, it will waste your money (better than spending it on drugs), and you'll have a 1% increase of getting a girl (but only if you play a tuned instrument.)…

Archive Article credit: Braydie (more…)

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Music in the News

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"What?"

VIENNA, Austria -- At a dinner party planned by his live-in girlfriend and attended, for the most part, by her friends, Ludwig van Beethoven admitted to the one friend he was allowed to invite that he hears just fine, thank you very much.

"Feigning a state of deafness is the only way I can get time to myself to make music." he said, between sips of brandy from his favorite pewter mug, "Before, it was all 'Blah, blah, blah. Wiggy, you need to listen to me. Blah, blah, blah'. I'd just get through the 'Dah-dah-dah dum' and she'd come clomping into the room to unburden herself of a lengthy monologue about my abysmal taste in personal attire, or about how she saw the most wonderful material for new curtains during her latest foray into town. Now I can get some peace, at least. I'm up to 'Dah-dah-dah, dum. Dah-dah-dah dum' now...it's a work in progress"

Archive Article credit: Modusoperandi (more…)

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Featured Image

Ragtime

A typical Jazz trio jamming out to some ragtime.

Nominate stuff Image credit: The Hedgehog Image archive

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Featured Artist

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One of Miles' favourite things: Coltrane playing saxophone

Miles Davis was a jazz musician. He played trumpet. People say he's black, but that's because they're part of the predominantly white establishment who wanted to pigeonhole him into one category. Miles doesn't like categories, and he said himself: "I'm all races at once, baby. That's what fusion was all about, don't you know?" Throughout his long career, Miles also redefined jazz humour, by being the most humourless jazz personality to ever have existed. In effect, Miles taught his proteges that it was fine to ignore the audience while playing, not to announce tunes, and even turn your back to them (to be fair, a lot of audiences turned their backs to Miles when he started playing syrupy pop-jazz in the eighties). You might want to classify Miles' humour as "black comedy".…

Archive Article credit: Knucmo2 (more…)

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Lyric of the Week

“No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!”

From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)
(more…)

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Featured UnTunes

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UnTunes:Grill on fire
She's just a girl, but she is grilling.

Grill on fire


This song is a promotional piece written and performed by Iron Chef Bobby Flay for Food Network, sung to the melody of Alicia Keys' Girl on Fire.


It's just a grill, but it's on fire

Ready for the coals to set, fish is waiting in the net

I'm cooking with a grill and it's on fire

We can fix you up a steak, have a picnic by the lake


Ohhhh oh oh oh oh

We got some surf and turf now

Let me show you all how

Ohhhh oh oh oh oh

Brush the grate with some lemon

Oh, it smells just like heaven…

Archive Musical credit: Zana Dark (more…)

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Musical Articles by Genre

Classical Country Genres of Music Hip Hop / Rap


Jazz Popular / R&B Rock (General) Other Musical Articles

  BAND CLASS
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Accordion - Air Drum - Air Guitar - Bagpipes - Band geeks - Bass - Bass Guitar - Bassoon - Clarinet - Cowbell - Drums - Euphonium - Fiddle - Flute - French Horn - Grand Piano - Guitar - Guitarist - Harp - Harpsichord - Kazoo - Learn Bass! - Learn Guitar! - Lyre - Marching band - Oboe - Ocarina - Piano - Play Guitar - Saxophone - Skin flute - Start a band - Stradivarius - Trombone - Trumpet - Tuba - Violin - Wah Wah Boing Boing - Xylophone
  The Beatles
John Lennon | Paul McCartney | George Harrison | Ringo Starr
The Fifth Beatle | Sir Pete Best
Albums
Thank Thank You (1963) | Without The Beatles (1963) | A Hard Gay's Night (1964) | Beatles For Sail (1964) | Hell!! (1965) | Steel Funk (1965) | Revolter (1966) | Revolver (1966) | Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967) | Ringo Needs Some Money (1967) | Tragical Mystery Tour (1967) | The White Album (1968) | The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones (1968) | Yellow Sub Machine (1969) | Crabby Road (1969) | Let It Be (1970) | Ask Masters (1988)
Related articles
Beatlefication | Beatlemania | Beatles In India | British Invasion | Liverpool | Paul is dead | McCartneyism | The Revolution: A history | Maxwell Edison | BBC | Beatles About | The Beatles Tribute Band | Mark David Chapman | UnNews:John Lennon denied resurrection for fourth time | The Rutles
Notable Songs
Back in the U.S.S.R. | Hey Jude | I Am the Walrus | Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds | Revolution 393 | Why?:Don't we do it in the road? |