Portal:Music

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.

By far the most musical portal you will ever find.



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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.

I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music. I hate music. It sounds like my dog farting. Really eggy. I'm more of a cat person.


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Highlighted Article

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OK, so, you're crying because the angel did something that warrants the death penalty. That's deep, Serj...

So you want to write effluvial lyrics like the official Armenian-American Lebanese-born Poet of the Overwrought, Serj Tankian of genre-challenged rock band System of a Down.

The first question to ask yourself up front is, whatever for? Have the countless critical articles about his inability to pull a well-crafted subtle lyrical image out of his ass told you nothing? If so, then this article is for you.…

Archive Article credit: GlobalTourniquet (more…)

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Music in the News

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MIDDLE AMERICA AND/OR CANADA -- Retail monopoly and threat to America, Wal-Mart, has told ultra-lame band Green Day that it will not stock its newest CD, 21st Century Breakdown.
Wal-Mart spokesperson Fred Habbemaster told UnNews today that, "in light of the fact that some of the lyrics are salty, but mostly because Green Day has gone from dreadful to unbelievably lame, we feel it is unconscionable to foist such crap on the American public. I mean, we have a conscience, you know?"


Archive Article credit: Zim ulator (more…)

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Featured Image

Ragtime

A typical Jazz trio jamming out to some ragtime.

Nominate stuff Image credit: The Hedgehog Image archive

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Featured Artist

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Bowie's crooked grimace changes quickly when the Doctor explains that things "won't be working quite the same again"

David "give it here" Bowie (January 23 1889 - August 12 2016) is the pseudonym of former London second-hand car salesman David "Yeah, course it has an MOT" Jones. His chief claim to fame was his portrayal of a bi-sexual Alien in the early seventies.

He has largely continued an unsuccessful career to the present day though bit parts in mediocre films and jumping on the latest bandwagon in Music.…

Archive Article credit: Sycamore (more…)

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Lyric of the Week

“I'm a wizard who uses his wand in a very special way.”

Harry Potter, from the musical: Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical
(more…)

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Featured UnTunes

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UnTunes:Grill on fire
She's just a girl, but she is grilling.

Grill on fire


This song is a promotional piece written and performed by Iron Chef Bobby Flay for Food Network, sung to the melody of Alicia Keys' Girl on Fire.


It's just a grill, but it's on fire

Ready for the coals to set, fish is waiting in the net

I'm cooking with a grill and it's on fire

We can fix you up a steak, have a picnic by the lake


Ohhhh oh oh oh oh

We got some surf and turf now

Let me show you all how

Ohhhh oh oh oh oh

Brush the grate with some lemon

Oh, it smells just like heaven…

Archive Musical credit: Zana Dark (more…)

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Recent Articles in Music

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Musical Articles by Genre

Classical Country Genres of Music Hip Hop / Rap


Jazz Popular / R&B Rock (General) Other Musical Articles

  BAND CLASS
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Accordion - Air Drum - Air Guitar - Bagpipes - Band geeks - Bass - Bass Guitar - Bassoon - Clarinet - Cowbell - Drums - Euphonium - Fiddle - Flute - French Horn - Grand Piano - Guitar - Guitarist - Harp - Harpsichord - Kazoo - Learn Bass! - Learn Guitar! - Lyre - Marching band - Oboe - Ocarina - Piano - Play Guitar - Saxophone - Skin flute - Start a band - Stradivarius - Trombone - Trumpet - Tuba - Violin - Wah Wah Boing Boing - Xylophone
  The Beatles
John Lennon | Paul McCartney | George Harrison | Ringo Starr
The Fifth Beatle | Sir Pete Best
Albums
Thank Thank You (1963) | Without The Beatles (1963) | A Hard Gay's Night (1964) | Beatles For Sail (1964) | Hell!! (1965) | Steel Funk (1965) | Revolter (1966) | Revolver (1966) | Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967) | Ringo Needs Some Money (1967) | Tragical Mystery Tour (1967) | The White Album (1968) | The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones (1968) | Yellow Sub Machine (1969) | Crabby Road (1969) | Let It Be (1970) | Ask Masters (1988)
Related articles
Beatlefication | Beatlemania | Beatles In India | British Invasion | Liverpool | Paul is dead | McCartneyism | The Revolution: A history | Maxwell Edison | BBC | Beatles About | The Beatles Tribute Band | Mark David Chapman | UnNews:John Lennon denied resurrection for fourth time | The Rutles
Notable Songs
Back in the U.S.S.R. | Hey Jude | I Am the Walrus | Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds | Revolution 393 | Why?:Don't we do it in the road? |