Portal:Music

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.

By far the most musical portal you will ever find.



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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.

I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music. I hate music. It sounds like my dog farting. Really eggy. I'm more of a cat person.


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Highlighted Article

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National Treasure John Peel on wonderful Radio Caroline.

"Wugga, wugga and welcome back the Perfumed Garden Psychedelic Special hastily assembled because Dave Lee Travis appears to have fallen overboard and been harpooned by whalers. In the finest traditions of Pirate Radio I'm wearing an eye-patch and cutlass and you may be able to hear my parrot Syd squawking in the background. But tonight's show is brought to you live from my living room at Peel Towers due to car trouble stopping me getting to the ferry out to good old Radio Caroline. Let's hope the rozzers don't nick me! I say car trouble; I mean of course that the inside smells so badly of fish that it's impossible to spend more than a minute inside without gagging - a bit like attending a Peter, Paul and Mary gig. Actually, I'm fairly certain that Tony Blackburn has nailed a mackerel somewhere under the dashboard but that's not going to stop me playing the rather excellent "Arnold Layne" by The Pink Floyd.

Archive Article credit: Funnybony (more…)

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Music in the News

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MIDDLE AMERICA AND/OR CANADA -- Retail monopoly and threat to America, Wal-Mart, has told ultra-lame band Green Day that it will not stock its newest CD, 21st Century Breakdown.
Wal-Mart spokesperson Fred Habbemaster told UnNews today that, "in light of the fact that some of the lyrics are salty, but mostly because Green Day has gone from dreadful to unbelievably lame, we feel it is unconscionable to foist such crap on the American public. I mean, we have a conscience, you know?"


Archive Article credit: Zim ulator (more…)

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Featured Image

Paulrus

If John Lennon was the Walrus, then why is this Paulrus part of the Beatles exhibit at the Museum of Natural Science and History?

Nominate stuff Image credit: Zana Dark Image archive

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Featured Artist

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One of Miles' favourite things: Coltrane playing saxophone

Miles Davis was a jazz musician. He played trumpet. People say he's black, but that's because they're part of the predominantly white establishment who wanted to pigeonhole him into one category. Miles doesn't like categories, and he said himself: "I'm all races at once, baby. That's what fusion was all about, don't you know?" Throughout his long career, Miles also redefined jazz humour, by being the most humourless jazz personality to ever have existed. In effect, Miles taught his proteges that it was fine to ignore the audience while playing, not to announce tunes, and even turn your back to them (to be fair, a lot of audiences turned their backs to Miles when he started playing syrupy pop-jazz in the eighties). You might want to classify Miles' humour as "black comedy".…

Archive Article credit: Knucmo2 (more…)

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Lyric of the Week

“I'm a wizard who uses his wand in a very special way.”

Harry Potter, from the musical: Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical
(more…)

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Featured UnTunes

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UnTunes:No cucumbers
No fuckin' thank you.

No Cucumbers


This is Tom Yorkshire's magnum opus, No Cucumbers, as performed by the band Rad Iohead.


A bar that's full of vegetation

A bunch of different lettuce

Spinach you won't eat

You need a healthy lunch

Bring down your weight a bit

You eat way too much fast food


I'll take a Caesar please

A spring mix, some mesclun maybe

With no croutons or cauliflower

No olives and no tomatoes

No onions and no cucumbers

Salad

Salad…

Archive Musical credit: Zana Dark (more…)

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Musical Articles by Genre

Classical Country Genres of Music Hip Hop / Rap


Jazz Popular / R&B Rock (General) Other Musical Articles

  BAND CLASS
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Accordion - Air Drum - Air Guitar - Bagpipes - Band geeks - Bass - Bass Guitar - Bassoon - Clarinet - Cowbell - Drums - Euphonium - Fiddle - Flute - French Horn - Grand Piano - Guitar - Guitarist - Harp - Harpsichord - Kazoo - Learn Bass! - Learn Guitar! - Lyre - Marching band - Oboe - Ocarina - Piano - Play Guitar - Saxophone - Skin flute - Start a band - Stradivarius - Trombone - Trumpet - Tuba - Violin - Wah Wah Boing Boing - Xylophone
  The Beatles
John Lennon | Paul McCartney | George Harrison | Ringo Starr
The Fifth Beatle | Sir Pete Best
Albums
Thank Thank You (1963) | Without The Beatles (1963) | A Hard Gay's Night (1964) | Beatles For Sail (1964) | Hell!! (1965) | Steel Funk (1965) | Revolter (1966) | Revolver (1966) | Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967) | Ringo Needs Some Money (1967) | Tragical Mystery Tour (1967) | The White Album (1968) | The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones (1968) | Yellow Sub Machine (1969) | Crabby Road (1969) | Let It Be (1970) | Ask Masters (1988)
Related articles
Beatlefication | Beatlemania | Beatles In India | British Invasion | Liverpool | Paul is dead | McCartneyism | The Revolution: A history | Maxwell Edison | BBC | Beatles About | The Beatles Tribute Band | Mark David Chapman | UnNews:John Lennon denied resurrection for fourth time | The Rutles
Notable Songs
Back in the U.S.S.R. | Hey Jude | I Am the Walrus | Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds | Revolution 393 | Why?:Don't we do it in the road? |