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Portal:Politics

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The Politics Portal

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Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (Full article...)


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It's right if you don't think about it.

Communism is the perfect form of government, although many capitalist organizations such as Corporate America portray it as an evil and exploitative regime.

Communism has never existed, anywhere in the world. It is a mistake to call the USSR, its gulags, China, North Korea, Vietnam, hippie communes, kibbutzim, or Cuba communist, but that's what a lot of uninformed idiots do. You idiots!

Sadly, all currently existing communist organizations (which are not really communist organizations really, er...) must be feeling pretty pissed off that they are not protected from being destroyed by imperialist groups, many of which, like the United States, are totally stupid.

Communist philosophy can be traced back to the ancient writings of Proletariat...…

Archive Article credit: Tom mayfair (more…)



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Donald Rumsfeld

Donald Rumsfeld demonstrates his penchant for papercraft.

Nominate stuff Image credit: OG loc Image archive


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Highlighted Biography

Blagojevich.jpg
Come on man, let's sit down and chat.

Psst. You. Yeah, you. Come on, don't stare at me like that. Listen, I got a little offer for you. Something really useful for you. What? No, don't look at me like that.

What are you getting at?

Come on now, "getting at" is such a harsh term. I've got this fucking valuable thing, and I can't just give it away for nothing. A good old colored friend of mine is giving up a position in power. I'm supposed to "appoint" his replacement. That's where you come in.

You want me to bribe you?

What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I would never consider bribing. Let's just say it's empty, and I've got to fill it in. Let's also say, with a little push, you might have an "influence" on my decision.…

Archive Article credit: Terrakyte (more...)


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This Day in Politics

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Quote of the Day

“I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. ”

— Margaret Thatcher
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Did You Know...

  • ...that the original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.
  • ...that former enemies, United States and Russia now have a great deal in common - they both have the highest incarceration rates.
  • ...that not everything you read is true, especially when politics are concerned..
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Notable Politicians

Below is a list of remarkable politicians without whom the world would not be what it is today:

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