This article violates Article 301 of the Turkish Penal Code for "insulting Turkishness" and making fun of the Republic of Turkey.
The Holy Turkish Empire of the Recep Tayyip Erdoğan
Ultimate Khaganate of Recep Tayyip Erdoğan
|Motto: "Let's conquer something!"|
|Anthem: *Barbarian Sounds*|
|Government||Democratic Recep Tayyip Erdoğan|
|National Hero(es)||Genghis Khan, Otto Mann|
|Currency||Turkish delight, Kebab|
|Religion||Tengrism , Shamanism|
|Ethnic groups||50 percent Turks, 25 percent Mongolians, 25 percent hybrid Turco-Mongols (Mongol or Turk what's the difference with no hybridism.)|
Republic of Turkey (Turkish: Turkish Galactic Empire of Recep Tayyip Erdogan), offically The Holy Galactic Turkish Empire of Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, is America's youngest brother in the Middle East and Southeastern Europe, therefore a sibling of Israel. Like other nations with a past hiistory of grandeur, it has allowed this history to get to its head and be an endless burden to its European neighbours without feeling even a slight sense of guilt (see also: Greece). Unlike the Greeks however, who export nothing of note except olive oil and 45 year old men who hit on 19 year old women, the Turkish instead export the almighty kebab which has been adopted as a staple of the drunken Westerner. Additionally they export 45 year old men who hit on 19 year old men. They do not however export turkeys.
Turkey has somewhat extensive wealth, obtained through centuries of pillaging its neighbours of every dime they were worth. This trend continued until, much like the 3 year old who likes to tease the pitbull, they got pwnt. Also similarly to the 3 year old, a lot of crying ensued. Stating such facts will get you jailed in Turkey, and if you think showers in American jails are gay, clearly you've never been to a Turkish bath.
As of the now, the country is currently the property of ISIS. However US president Donald Trump has stated he intends to wipe ISIS out, increasimg speculation that Turkey shall be beheaded, plucked, stuffed, roasted and ready for consumption around Thanksgiving 2017.
Historically, Turkey used to be a beautiful land before the arrival of Turkish people. This was because since antiquity, Greeks were always pwning Trojans, Anatolians and everything else. However this party didn't last forever as Oghuz Turks arrived to Anatolia and conquered the land. From this day Turks became the boss of Anatolia and damaged the name of the Greek nation, ultimately leading them to become the laughing stock of Europe they are today. As Turks became the sole boss of the land, they decided to convert to Islam. Due to this, the Christendom got butthurt and decided to pillage the land and punish the Turkish warlord by going full Crusade mode.
The fighting continued for centuries and even into the present day, one should never underestimate the power of self proclaimed peaceful religions when it comes to inciting violence.
The original Oghuz Turks were a bunch of nomadic orcs and wanted Mongolians that allied with trolls and loved invading the shit out of everywhere else. They destroyed and burned human strongholds, while also slaughtering, capturing and assimiliating humans, and eventually making humans believe they're actually orcs themselves. However today, not even Turks know whether they're European, Middle Eastern or Central Asian. It is assumed by anthropologists that Turks who look like humans are Europeans, those who look like orcs are Central Asians and those who look like trolls are Middle Easterners. It is highly recommended that non-turks never ever call Turks as a Mongolians.
Today there are approximately 7 billion Turks living on earth. 1% of them live in Turkey, whilst the remaining 99% live in the flat above kebab shops strategically located a 30 second drunken walk from local pubs.
Like almost every country not covered within the scope of a first graders atlas, most foods that are commonly known to Westerners must contain the words "turkey" or "turkish" in order to even register with their mind. Notable examples include: Turkish Delight (a bright purple ooze freshly scrapped from the inside of Chernobyl reactor 4) and Turkish bread. However some additional examples include the kebab which has become popular given it has a meat, salt and fat content that puts the big mac to shame and of course hummus which every slightly cultured white girl consumes by the kilo after 1 glass of alcohol free white wine has made them "sooooooo drunk lmao".
|Middle East Countries|
|Bahrain | Cyprus | Egypt | Iraq | Iran | Israel/Palestine | Jordan | Kuwait | Lebanon | Oman | Qatar | Saudi Arabia | Syria | Turkey | United Arab Emirates | Yemen | The United States of Arabia|