Libya

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Libya
Former Kingdom of Gaddafistan
Hillary libya.png Movie-the-dictator.jpg
(He watches us from Heaven)
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: Now this is pod-racing!
Anthem: Libya, Libya, Libya (Another way to say "blah, blah, blah" in Libyan)
Libyafromspace.png
Libya as seen from space
CapitalTripoli
Largest cityQuadrupoli
Official language(s)Italiarabic
GovernmentMultiple
‑ ETERNAL DADDYMUMMAR FUCKING GADDAFI
‑ Queen, Liberator and Crime MinisterHillary Clinton
‑ Leader of the recognized Gogurt of National AccordIam ur-Baghdadi
National Hero(es)Muammar Gaddafi
CurrencyPetrol dollars
ReligionGod-daffyism
Major exportsItalian corpses
Major importsInvasions
National animalMad Dog of Africa

Libya, previously known as Greenland, and now known by the United States as Benghazi, is a piece of desert in North Africa where law and order is so shitty that not even its three entire governments combined can assert any form of governance. Historically, Libyans have been obsessed with the number "3". It has three cities in its capital (sort of), three regions, three heads of state, an anthem that says its name three times probably to swear allegiance to its three governments, and even once had an awesome leader who was so manly he had three balls. This man's name was Muammar Gaddafi, who during his reign was considered to be the most perfectly sane autocratically-elected leader of all time, as well as the most manly of all time since he had entire armies of women following him around everywhere he went. During his reign, Libya was the best country in the whole world, and they demonstrated that violently by kicking over sandcastles in Chad and setting off a few bombs in Europe. So utopian was Gaddafi's Libya that they even had the justification to bomb the shit out of Switzerland in the name of jihad as to liberate its people from its comparatively pathetic human development and the lack of rights to see Gaddafi's beautiful face all over the place. As the Arab Winter ended and the Arab Spring started, Gaddafi did the Saddam Hussein by being suspected to have nuclear weapons by Uncle Sam, after which a rifle was shoved up his buttocks and he was shot into space by Hillary Clinton. He now takes residence on Uranus alone with no friends.

Today, Libya is now divided among Islamist militias, ISIS, ExxonMobil, the Clinton Foundation and a Scottish football team.

Geography[edit | edit source]

Libya is located in North Africa, a continent north of Africa but south of Mediterranea. The southern part of Libya is part of the Sahara Desert, and the other northern two thirds of the country are also desert. As a result, the place is so arid it rains oil and bombs instead of water.

Wildlife[edit | edit source]

Libya's tremendous biodiversity consists of weird-looking two-humped giraffes, tuscan raiders, jawas, and a rare subspecies of fungi known as the mushroom cloud which is notable for its very explosive growth spurt and short life expectancy and also almost always planted from metallic birds in the sky.