Invisia

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The Noble Nation of Invisaland, commonly known only as Invisia, is a tiny nation off the coast of Argentina that is most noted for being entirely see-through. It is considered remarkable by some people, though others regard it as either boring or non-existent. The popularity of Invisia has risen drastically as modern technology had made it more able to be found. Before radar, the common axiom for finding Invisia was "Put something important on a ship and send it to Argentina: The survivors will have found Invisia."

The small invisible nation of Invisia is sometimees mistaken for a rather large piece of ocean.


Tourism[edit]

The axiom was, in most respects, very true. The only way to find Invisia was to simply run aground on its many invisble beaches. For centuries English nobility would spend fortunes competing in an annual competition to find Invisia. Once there, the winners would be rewarded with the world's smallest violin. Only a few of these small violins have survived to this day, and even fewer World's Smallest Violin Virtuosos. There are, however, many people who claim not only to be in possession of one of these violins, but also that they are able to play it, at which point they will rub their thumb and forefinger together, pretending to pout. Do not be fooled, for actual World's Smallest violins actually have a rather distinct and powerful sound which resembles nothing like skin rubbing together.

Tourism to Invisia increased greatly after modern inventions such as the Find-O-Meter, Locate-a-tron, and Find-O-Meter Mini made it easier to pinpoint on a map where exactly it is. And that place would be just off the coast of Argentina, 36°63'83.74" N and 53°42'73.83" S. If one is skeptical, then they are invited to go to fly over that exact spot, parachute down to it with a pocket full of nickels (as is required), land, and proceed to stomp around a bit shouting "I am most definitely not drowning right now!" This will endear you to the native people, who you cannot see, but can see you.

There is much to do in Invisia. There are many nightclubs, dance studios, waterparks, and other miscellaneous bits of fun. However, the problem is of course finding these invisible places. To get anywhere in Invisia, you must simple yell loudly "I would like to get to the nearest brothel!" at the top of your lungs. Yell this for a few minutes and soon you will feel a tug at your arm; an Inivisan has heard your request and is now guiding you to the establishment you have requested. You must trust that he will take you where you want to go, and he will, as he knows that when he does he will be paid with one of the nickels in your pocket. Yes, this is indeed how most Invisians make their living, transporting Tourists for nickels. (The Invisian dollar, or Hernon, is very weak and only a few nickels will feed an average Invisian family for a day.)


Invisia's Natural Resources[edit]

Invisia's natural resources are used anytime where something should not be seen. The chief export of Invisia had at one time been Invisian Shale, which was used to decorate homes and businesses, until a syhtetic method of producing it was invented involving sand.

Now the main export of Invisia is slave children. Parents will purchase these slaves, always at a young age, and give them to their children, who are able to see them thanks to the power of IMAGINATION. The invisian child will keep his servant occupied and busy while his parents relax, free of their parental resposnsibilities. As the child grows, watching television with its captive invisian friend, the rays of the TV rot its imagination until it can no longer see the companion, who then wanders off free. However, the rays have a similar effect on the Invisian child, who can no longer see himself or his homeland.

The forsaken Invisian, now fully grown, will wander its alien country for the rest of its lifetime, passing the days by performing cruel tricks, such as stealing your keys and putting them somewhere, or pretending to be a ghost, or other mischevous little things.

War[edit]

While the Invisians are often regarded as having a major superiority complex, they are not without honor, and are willing to defend it. However, it is part of the Invisian code of Decency never to engage in a sneak attack against another nation. They must always be warned first that they are coming. In 1945 Invisia attempted an aerial assault on France. As they were flying in, head General Moam Trye radioed the French army and warned them "you are about to be attacked!"

"No we aren't, where are you?" asked a French general.

"We're right here! Can't you see us?" Asked Moam.

"No, you're invisible." replied the French General again.

"Oh," Moam sighed, "sorry then."

And then they flew back home.

The French assault was entirely defensive and not in the interest of conquering land, as France is unfortunately visible to the naked eye. Invisia could only steal land form other invisible countries, which theoretically could exist, though we are not sure. We cannot say then if Invisia has much a war history, but it is worth note that on occasion an American tourist in Invisia will find one of the few visible things in Invisia: statues of horses, above which one can feel an invisible stone general.


Politics and Customs[edit]

This flag was able to be recreated thanks to some very brilliant work with a common device you can find in your own home.

Not an awful lot is known about Invisian politics or customs. While one might assume that the nation would have a formal government, there is no evidence to suggest it. Oddly enough, political cartoons are extremely popular among Invisians, though we cannot reprint any for the fact that they are both extremely invisible and intensely vulgar. One cartoon, satirizing an Invisian king (though, once again, Invisia has no formal ruler), shows a bearded invisible man anally fisting a small visible girl; in turn fisting an even smaller, invisble, girl. To non-natives of Invisia, the cartoon looks simply like a small girl bending over, punching the air in front of her.

The Invisia flag smacks of superiority, with their national slogan being "Quripe Desto: Domina Est." This is strange considering all Invisians speak English, and a rough translation pegs the phrase as meaning "Those dumbasses can't see our flag to know that we're calling them dumbasses."