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Designated commemoration day

No! they expect one of us in the wreckage brother.

May 24: Collective Bra Burning Day

  • 1431 - Joan of Arc's sitcom, "That's My Arc", officially cancelled. Riots ensue.
  • 1830 - Mary's Lamb (of nursery rhyme fame) is the perfect ingredient for my Great-Grandmother's pot roast.
  • 1917 - Protesting suffragette accidentally burns her brassiere trying to light up some citronella torches.
  • 1937 - Fred Astaire declares himself to be "bigger than Jesus", angry Christians throw their radio sets in a giant fire.
  • 1980 - After years of searching, archaeologist Baba Ganoush finally finds Elton John's cheese grater.
  • 1998 - The Simpsons is cancelled, replaced by show with identical name, characters, and shitty writing.
  • 2016 - In his final act as President, Barack Obama bans Axe Body Spray, the only bi-partisan bill he's ever managed to pass.

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  • ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?

Do you worry...[edit]

  • ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?

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