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Moses was a Hebrewian fiction writer, actor and lawgiver. He was perhaps best known for writing the first five volumes of the best-selling book, The Bible and for being the actor who played himself in the film version of The Bible, "The Bible: The Musical", and "The Bible II: Electric Boogaloo". Obsessed with letting his people go, he later exposed them to God and trapped them in the laws of religion for the rest of their lives.

Moses was born into a Hebrew family, but was put up for adoption because laws against the bearing of male children had been passed after the Pharaoh had seen people washing their babies in the River Nile. (He thought that it was disgusting and wondered why they didn't use royal baths like he did.)

Baby Moses was sent to an adoption centre but didn't take to his new life. After years of causing much trouble at the adoption centre, he was finally adopted by a rich Egyptian family who thought that they could turn this young tearaway into a well-mannered young man. (Full article...)

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Designated commemoration day

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September 9: Day of the Truffles Triffids

  • 9 Cirno is born.
  • 1000 - During the Battle of Svolder, King Olaf I of Norway falls overboard and disappears into the Baltic Sea. He is not seen again until Olaf II: Electric Boogaloo is released on video later that year.
  • 1087 - William the Conqueror dies. About time, too.
  • 1312 - Paracelsus invents redundancy.
  • 1313 - Paracelsus invents redundancy.
  • 1405 - The world's first soda siphon goes on display in Paris. Rioting ensues.
  • 1828 - Leo Tolstoy is born. How boring is that?
  • 1839 - John Herschel takes the first glass plate photograph. Later photographs are of a glass cup, glass saucer, and a glass eye.
  • 1850 - California is admitted into the USA.
  • 1944 - Bulgaria is occupied liberated by Soviet troops.
  • 1967 - The spork is invented.
  • 1969 - No rioting in Paris. Rioting ensues.
  • 1976 - Mao Tse Tung passes away; sadly his dream of murdering more of his own people than Stalin is left unrealized.
  • 1988 - In the most intense fighting of the GI Joe-Transformers War, the Autobot-Joe Alliance and Union of Decepticon and Cobra Forces see heavy casualties in the Battle of the Backyard.
  • 2009 - Being the 9/9/09, and upside down Satan appeared, only to shorty die of spinal injuries.

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  • ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?

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  • ... that Osama bin Laden is actually alive and well and hiding in your closet?

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