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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature Are you the kind of person who is interested in telling other people what to do? Easily swayed by religious texts? Have an itchy trigger finger and a fondness for big red buttons? Do you have a pulse? If you answered yes to any of these questions then you might be the kind of person who'd enjoy being President of the United States! It's true, just about anybody can be President. The guy pictured on the right is no more qualified than your milkman or some random guy on the street, yet he made it to President and is having the time of his life. That could be you! Becoming President will not be easy though, so this handy guide is here to help you every step of the way. (Full article...) Recently featured: HowTo:Become the President of the United States Rachel Zegler Terraforming Tenet (film) Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote because of article of your taste which should become the feature. More being best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Desktop of Google edit Designated commemoration day May 6: No Pants Day 1527 - Spanish and German troops sack Rome, ending the Renaissance and the Era of Poofy Pants in one stroke. 1536 - King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church, along with wooden crucifixes and stores of holy water, in efforts to stave off vampire invasions. 1866 - Oscar Wilde's short story A House of Pomegranates makes the first use of pie charts in known literature. 1882 - The United States Congress passes the Chinese Exclusion Act, followed shortly by the Colored Folk Rights Denial Bill. 1954 - Roger Bannister becomes the first human to run the mile in less than four minutes and also pass the subsequent tests for drug use and being a robot. 2001 - During a trip to Syria, Pope John Paul II becomes the first pope to run naked inside a mosque. 2007 - Queen Elizabeth stands in line with the great unwashed to place a bet on a bobtail nag running in the Kentuckistan Derby. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of day Your content probably contains one or more equal signs (=), use |1=. edit News Clearly not Deion Sanders vouching for his son Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big." Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank PBS and NPR to lose funding Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide (Pictured) Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!) Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church Trump Administration prepares to deport everybody except Native Americans New Easter Bunny is a fascist Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers Recent deaths: Jay North • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Linkin • Gawr Gura • Toxicity • Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom Advice of necessity? Ask Cthulhu! Current events of UnNews news edit Did you knew... Ali sadaka ...that I'm better than this person in particular? Do you worry... ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience? Read Many
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