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The Edit Wars Saga

Episode I: The Phantom Stub
Episode II: Attack of the Anonymous
Episode III: Revenge of the Admins
Episode IV: A New Drama
Episode V: The Community Strikes Back
Episode VI: Return of the Featured Article

Featured article

Garlic bread adventure!

You feel an emptiness inside you, a deep pit in your soul that nothing man-made can fill. How many years has it been since you felt her hair running through your fingers?

None of that matters. The only thing that makes you happy now is garlic bread. You know it’s bad for your health, and you know it smells like the underpants of a sweaty Gondola rower, but you can’t help yourself.

Play game? →

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Holonet Live

World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured)
Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize
Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed

Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? • Chuck Norris doesn't fuckin' die, the hospital survived Chuck Norris • Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller

Upcoming deaths: Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name

Did you know...

From Ewokpedia's wisest Jedi:

... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)

... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?
... that this sentence is incomple
... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?

Is it in the Archives...

... that there's only one way to party? (Pictured)

... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
... that you should invest in chicken stock?
... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?
... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?