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CaseOh (Celestial Anomaly of Stellar Enormity and Omnivorous Hunger) is a supermassive celestial object of indeterminate classification, predominantly suspected to be either a rogue star or a cluster of galaxies—or just maybe the interdimensional vortex first caught wind of in May 1998. Physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer famously theorised CaseOh to be supplied entirely by AC/DC (agglomerated/devoured comestible) power several months prior to his death in 2023, although other hypotheses regarding its increasing mass are widespread. CaseOh's exact mass is approximated to exceed 247 ronnagrams, and "clairvoyant" astrophysicists at NASA presume a supermassive black hole to thence manifest within succeeding decades. (Full article...)

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Holonet Live

He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America

Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter
Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
So.. about that Super Bowl..
- Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day
Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life

Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico

Did you know...

From Ewokpedia's wisest Jedi:

... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)

... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
... that you've just lost the game?
... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
... that sheep shrink when it rains?

Is it in the Archives...

... that the Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament was founded by the Duke of York? (Pictured)

... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
... that Iran is all set to invade itself?