Babel:OW

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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 30,696 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

Browse:

Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...


Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

OriginalDeliverance.JPG

According to God's True Word, here are the worst 100* ways to deliver bad news. If you have to tell someone you crashed his car, killed his dog or banged his mum, don't use any of these methods (or at least start at the top).

* God does not care to count this list too closely, and believers are wise not to criticize divine numeration policy. (Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

BOOM!

December 11: - Asian Boom day

  • 1229 - Pope Gregory IX deletes thirty-one days from the Gregorian calendar, during a Florentine siege of Rome that had prevented toiletries from entering the city.
  • 1841 - Oscar Wilde imprisoned for practicing heterosexuality in England without a Royal permit, a capital offense.
  • 1941 - Germany and Italy celebrate for the first and last time "Let's Go To War With Russia Day." Italians and Germans regret this decision by 1945.
  • 1941 - Mao Zedong suggests to rename "Chinese demographic boom" to "Yelow bang". Due to unpopularity of this idea among his generals, all of them were executed.
  • 1953 - Trans-dimensional squirrels attempt a coup on the Kremlin but are driven back after the Soviets break wind in unison, creating a tear in the fabric of the universe into which the invaders are obliterated, nuts and all.
  • 1983 - A passenger airlines goes Boom over the South China Sea. Only the pilots and hostesses survive after they are seen moments before the explosion floating in a rubber dingy thousands of miles below. Thank you for flying AirChina.
  • 2005 - Face of Oscar Wilde is seen in a frozen pizza
  • 2009 - All forms of international combat are banned by the UN. From this point on, international disputes are decided by caged death matches between the leaders of conflicting nations.
  • 2009 - Annual 'Try Communism Day' is celebrated by the people of Lancashire
  • 2010 - Lancashire appoints Ted Dansen as Director of the Communist Party
  • 2011 - President Ted Stevens brutally beats Hu Jintao to death in a cage match, completing his domination and conquest of every country on Earth. Ban of weaponry two years earlier regarded as "a mistake" by most UN officials not already killed by Ted Stevens.
  • 2012 - The Uncyclopedia website announced that it was the 11th November.

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


Jeff Bezos caught stuffing weird old fat dude into trunk of his car


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?


Read on

This Month's Wit

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 30,696 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including OW!:
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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

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