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Davey Jones has inspired us to sink and pillage 30,159 ships since we set sail in January 2005.

Before running out your guns, please read the ships charter and the pirates code or you'll be Walking the Plank.
If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then speak to polly(sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight)

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What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!

February 25: 1337 d4y (133714)

  • 1966 - Palestinians informed that they are not the Chosen People. Jews celebrate, only to be told that they, also, are not the Chosen People.
  • 1337 - 1337 15 c0mm0n.
    • 1337 - Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Albert Einstein are born. The world almost explodes. They said they'd kill me if this was done in 1337.
  • 1338 - 1337 mysteriously falls out of usage. Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Albert Einstein put into cryogenic freeze until the 20th century.
  • 1980 - Al Gore creates the year 1980
  • 1997 - Space is invented.
  • 3137 - 173471041nrnn 1337 4494nrm 4dy.
  • 7331 - 5dr4wkc4b 51 7331.
  • π - F**k it, no one can read it anyway.
  • 7331337 - In Soviet Russia, 1337 can't f**king read YOU!!
  • ... - AFK day.
  • N00B - WTFWJDFAKBZOMGLM AOROTFLOLZOMGBBQHAXNOOB13 37KAMSABP11!!111 !!1!1(WHAT THE F **K WOULD JESUS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR ZOH MY GOD LAUGHING MY A SS OFF ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUG HING OUT LOUD ZOH MY GOD BA RBECUE HACKS NOOB LEET KOOL-AID MAN SAUSAGE AN D BACON POUTINE11!!111!!1!1)
  • 1985 - Bill Gates invents Glass and pwns everyone on his computer
  • 2005 - Man finds God then loses him again
  • 2011 - A Trouser Snake named Sherlock beats IBM super computer Watson in a game of Cluedo.
  • 2012 - George W. Bush replaces Tony Blair as Middle-East Peace Envoy, Sauron said to be looking forward to talks.

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What be worrying the Land Lubbers



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Arghh, I'll wagger you didn't know that...

From Uncyclopedia's roughest captains:

  • ...that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?


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More Recently press-ganged crew | Most wanted pirates | Requested Keel Haulings | Add to stumps | Marooned with nowt but a pistol and one shot | Help out the land-lubbers

Pirate of the Month and Swabbie of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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