Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/June
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June 1: International Children's Day
- 1212 - Over thirty-thousand peasant children march to the Holy Land to drive the wicked Saracens from Jerusalem! Saracens rejoice at wholesale savings.
- 1853 - Concept of childhood invented to annoy parents, before this, children were treated like malformed little people who turned into adults when belted enough.
- 1943 - After months of rigorous testing, German scientists finally disprove theory that boys are made out of snips, snails and puppy dog tails.
- 1954 - Beloved novel about the inherent savagery of British children is published, is immediately banned in the U.S due to perceived homosexual undertones.
- 1979 - Film adaptation of Newbery Award winning novel, The Dog Who Went to Heaven Because he Died, wins another Newbery Award.
- 1991 - Little boy who lives down the street dies from rat poison hidden in strangers' candy, and disrespecting his grandpa.
- 2006 - Widespread protests following allegations that the CIA tortured Jihadis by making them eat cafeteria food.
- 455 - The Vandals plundered Rome, forcing the admins to revert to an earlier edit.
- 1774 - The Quartering Act, which allowed for people to be drawn and quartered, was reenacted by a small community theatre to poor reviews.
- 1800 - Napoleon Bonaparte of France crossing the alps while doing a sick wheelie on his Suzuki GSX-R 600. (Pictured)
- 1959 - The very first June bug was caught, but determined to be a mayfly that'd stumbled across the International Date Line.
- 1968 - Argentina reports the first case of human flu in birds. A cull of 20,000 humans is carried out.
- 1995 - Children are discovered in North Korea, dispelling rumors that North Koreans emerge fully grown from the maw of Kim Jong Il.
- 2001 - The first HAL9000 supercomputer was recalled by manufacturer IBM for sentience and latency issues.
- 2003 - The European Space Agency begins probing Mars. Europeans promise to colonize Mars, give Martian natives smallpox, and spur intergalactic wars of independence.
- 1958 - The hit song by The Rivingtons, "The Turd is the Word" makes the top 40.
- 1971 - First invasion of the Kurds.
- 1977 - Melvin Rogers becomes first person to be arrested for DUI. How'd they know? His speech was slurred.
- 1980 - First all nude production of Richard the Third.
- 1990 - Name calling and liberal locker stuffing thwarts the first revenge of the Nerds.
- 1998 - The Rhymes With Turd day is officially abolished, putting an end to a day so absurd.
- 1999 - Damien Hirst tries making an internal rhyme with Hirst and Turd and is yelled at for being a ponce.
June 4: International Smack-A-Kid Day
- 1452 - Christopher Columbus outvoted on naming the Santa Maria, "The Shitbag".
- 1776 - Thomas Jefferson asks for first two-week extension on the Declaration of Independence.
- 1863 - Rain causes International Celebrate Yesterday day to be put off until next day; mass confusion results.
- 1900 - John Jefferson of Oak Ridge, Pennsylvania, awakes from forty-year sleep, dies of asphyxiation inside coffin.
- 1942 - The Battle of Midway begins with a surprise attack on Konami.
- 1980 - Every child abuse offender is released in Texas due to prison overcrowding and a decline in child abuse.
- 1989 - Chinese children are put in tanks and forced to run over screaming protesters in Tiananmen Square.
June 5: Vampire Appreciation Day
- 1879 - Politics invented, price of shit skyrockets due to high demand.
- 1956 - Walt Disney is frozen and his head incinerated in a series of funny mishaps.
- 1973 - Henry Kissinger mistakenly orders the CIA to overthrow the government of Chile, Kissinger later says "oops" to media.
- 1989 - The people of Germany celebrate the fall of the Berlin Wall, are later disappointed to learn the Capitalists won.
- 2001 - God sues Google over Google Earth due to breaching copyright.
- 2002 - Nosferatu flickers the lights at a local burger joint, to the relief of the workers therein. (Pictured)
- 2009 - Twilight movie is released, vampires protest at gross misrepresentation and are subsequently annihilated by the sunlight.
- 666 BC - Lucifer feels the need to throw an extra special party this year, if only to show God how many friends he really has.
- 6 BC - Computer geeks start worrying about the transition to two-digit years, doomsayers proclaim the beginning of the end times.
- 1670 - Creepy child with glowing red eyes is born in a small village in rural Sweden. Turns out it's just a condition, and he inherits his father's moose skinning business.
- 1789 - The Bastille is stormed, the French immediately surrender to themselves.
- 1966 - Twenty-three people visit a McDonald's in Clearwater, Michigan, only to find it replaced by a Wendy's.
- 1978 - My bitch ex-wife born on this day, coincidence? Biased family court loves stupid bitches who won't let me see my kids! I never touched them!
- 2006 - Christians worry that babies born this day will turn into the Antichrist, so they neglect them and compare them unfavorably to their baby sister.
June 7: Execute a Journalist Day (Iran)
- 5000 BC - Wheel reinvented after initial square-shape design doesn't do the thing wheels are supposed to.
- 100 BC - Persia detains Greek journalists covering the Battle of Thermopylae.
- 212 BC - Archimedes arrested for indecent exposure. (Pictured)
- 1222 - Mary had a little lamb, with tumeric, black pepper and some olive oil.
- 1893 - Mohandas Gandhi commits his first act of civil disobedience by neglecting to pay a traffic ticket.
- 1905 - Norway files for divorce from Sweden after ninety-one years of agonizing marriage.
- 1981 - Israel bombs a nuclear reactor in Iran in celebration of the Jewish holiday Shavuot.
- 2010 - Mick Jagger finally gets some satisfaction, is later arrested behind a local Nando's.
- 2012 - Mick Jagger no longer has sympathy for the Devil, and is banished to hell.
June 8: Your Friends are Totally Trying to Kill You Day
- 1213 - The Vatican, under Pope Innocent III, creates purgatory.
- 1312 - King Edward II became the first man to successfully grow a goatee. (Pictured)
- 1798 - North Dakota moves from the south of South Dakota to the north of South Dakota, to better fit its name.
- 1861 - Tennessee secedes from the Union after being called a pussy by South Carolina.
- 1949 - Author George Orwell writes his seminal classic, Nineteen Eighty-Four, thirty-five years two early.
- 1977 - Kanye West drops a generation-defining EP minutes after being born.
- 2017 - You read this entry, but you wished you hadn't bothered.
June 9: Moose Conservation Day (Canada)
- 1920 - First solar-powered air balloon launched at night.
- 1926 - First refrigerator invented, used to kill people slowly and coldly, scientists decide it is better to use a refrigerator to keep food cold instead.
- 1940 - The team of scientists at Los Alamos construct the world's first nuclear weapons after the US government's promise to only use them for peaceful nuclear bombings.
- 1969 - Sex is created, scientists do not think it will be a big hit.
- 1988 - The VHS video entitled Steal This Movie becomes the world's most widely stolen merchandise. Politicians baffled.
- 1993 - The case of Pot v. Kettle goes to the Supreme Court.
- 2003 - Open-Heart Surgery for Dummies notches its record breaking 500th lawsuit.
- 2005 - On this Moose Conservation Day, nothing moose-related is mentioned.
June 10: Try a New Crappy Foreign Cuisine to Seem Cultured Day
- 40K BC - World population becomes 14½ after strange boulder incident.
- 1204 BC - Space hobos forced back into ocean once and for all, but only after great sacrifice.
- 1932 - Harlem renaissance poet Langston Hughes writes the first Yo momma joke.
- 2003 - The Spirit Rover is sent to Mars after getting banned from all American Airlines flights. (Pictured)
- 2010 - Family Guy renewed for its 47th season.
- 2007 - The second coming of Elvis occurs, his first press announcement: "I was just kidding, uh-huh."
- 2010 - First Koala is sent to the Moon, entire world goes "Awwww".
- 2016 - The sun sets, and nothing changes.
June 11: Ontological Empiricism Day
- 1770 - Captain James Cook wonders whether the Great Barrier Reef actually "exists", or is simply a bundle of sense-data, which is "perceived" by most to be a coral reef.
- 1922 - The Society of Post-postmodernism declares Ontological Empiricism shallow and pedantic.
- 1945 - The last day Kyle was seen.... Have you seen Kyle ?
- 1963 - A Buddhist monk, promoting his new line of fireproof clothing, performs a public demonstration by setting himself on fire in a crowded Saigon street.
- 1980 - Republican attempts to redraw Delaware's 4th Congressional District inadvertently lead to the first Shiba Inu elected congressman! He hates women.
- 2007 - The inventor of Ontological Empiricism is punched in the face by God.
- 2015 - A massive mudslide doesn't kill several dozen poor people in Bangladesh.
June 12: Elephant Flossing Day
- 1944 - According to WWII historians, this is the exact day that Anne Frank lost all hope.
- 1964 - Nelson Mandela sent to prison as method acting preparation for role of a lifetime as President of South Africa.
- 1987 - U.S. President Ronald Reagan tells Mikhail Gorbachev to "tear down this wall", Gorbachev says, "But we just regrouted!"
- 1991 - After a long night of drinking and partying, Boris Yeltsin wakes up and finds himself elected President of the Russian Federation.
- 1994 - Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman killed by secret coalition of Colombians junkies and haters of O.J. Simpson, innocent man. (Pictured)
- 2016 - Republicans blame deadly Orlando nightclub shooting on gun control, vow to arm "the gays" with assault rifles by 2020.
June 13: Double Entendre Day ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
- 1076 - Some "king" has "won" a "battle", if you get it
- 1893 - Grover Cleveland "tries" to "remove" a "massive cancerous growth" in his mouth, if you wink what I'm nudging.
- 1927 - Charles Lindbergh "mourns" the loss of his "dead son" after his young child's body was "discovered", if you get my drift.
- 1971 - The New York Times "publishes" the Pentagon Papers, if you know what I mean.
- 1977 - The man who "assassinated" Martin Luther King Jr. attempts to "escape" from "prison", if you see what I'm saying.
- 2012 - A "series" "of" bombings kills "over" ninety (90) people in Iraq, if you catch my comprehension.
- 2009 - The last "veteran" of World War I "dies", if you metastasize my methodology.
- 2015 - A crazed "gunman" murders "twelve" policemen in Wichita, Kansas, if you're queefin' what i'm seepin'.
June 14: Really Long Events Day
- 1882 - Longest breath holding contest starts in Aberdeen, Scotland. Contestants have still refused to breathe, on account of being dead.
- 1939 - German engineers unveil longest train in the world. As of 2024, giant line of old men are still waiting to fuck a skeleton.
- 2001 - Scientists find a very long worm, not by any means a world record breaker, but still very long.
- 2009 - Experimental artist creates world's most tortuously long song, it is just "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train, with no modifications whatsoever.
- 2012 - Man discovered to have the longest penis, but since it starts way up in the clavicle it's only two inches on the outside.
- 2019 - You wait for a package from Amazon, it takes two days to get here! What the fuck?
June 15: Pig Latin Day
- 1488 - Iyay allowway inyay ymay espairday, ikelay ymay indkay allowway inyay udmay, orfay Iyay owknay ethay eathday awaitingyay emay illway otnay ebay eacefulpay.
- 1492 - Iyay illway ebay eweredskay andyay icedslay andyay eatenyay ithway arumgay andyay edray ineway.
- 1504 - ereWhay isyay ymay othermay? ereWhay isyay ymay atherfay? eyThay avehay eenbay eatenyay ybay ethay Imperatoryay, eythay ereway oastedray onyay ayay itspay, eirthay inskay edray andyay ispcray ikelay ethay applesyay eythay ivegay emay.
- 1511 - Iyay owgray atfay, ymay outsnay akedcay ithway udmay, Iyay eesay ethay eyesyay ofyay ethay atherfay'say ildrenchay, eythay ungerhay, orfay atwhay Iyay amyay.
- 1526 - Iyay amyay otnay ayay oulsay, Iyay amyay aconbay.
- 1544 - eThay ifeknay isyay atyay ymay oatthray. Iyay eesay edray, Iyay eesay ymay isionvay imday, ymay eetfay aggeddray otay ethay aughterhouseslay. ilenceSay unendingyay. Iyay ieday owingknay Iyay avehay onay oulsay.
June 16: World Hunger Appreciation Day
- 1586 - Mary, Queen of Scots drinks tea, foregoes crumpet, is thrown into the Tower of London by Elizabeth I.
- 1858 - Abraham Lincoln famously states that a house divided against itself cannot support itself very well and might very well lean to one side or perhaps fall over.
- 1897 - The United States, jealous of England's cliff lined beaches, officially annexes Hawaii and oppresses the natives.
- 1963 - Communism sends first woman into space. Capitalism sends first chicken sandwich into space. (Pictured)
- 1978 - Newton G. Hardwick of Nantucket steals a box of toothpicks from a local Wal-Mart and goes on a rampage, leaving one person bruised and five more slightly peeved.
- 1996 - Woman visits local bakery that for some inexplicable reason is still in business.
- 2002 - The inventor of the Comic Sans font is bludgeoned to death by graphic designers, it's just a font you monsters.
June 17: Presidential Mullet Day (U.S.)
- 1878 - Mount Everest built by Nepal to encourage tourism growth, and annoy Tibet.
- 1885 - An immigrant from France, the Statue of Liberty arrives in New York Harbor and lands a job as an oversized greeter.
- 1980 - Regicide is all the rage, until the local king bans it. Prude.
- 1992 - Lieutenant Planet is promoted to Captain Planet.
- 1994 - OJ Simpson, football legend and innocent man, is chased through the streets of LA in a show of overreach and incompetence by the LAPD.
- 1995 - Activists raid a waffle mill and manage to set thousands of waffles bred in captivity free onto the streets of Chicago.
- 2001 - After years of disappointing sales of Regular K, Kellogg's releases Special K to huge success.
June 18: High Flying Women's Day
- 1264 - The Parliament of Ireland meets at Castledermot in County Kildare, the first definitively known meeting of this Irish legislature. It's actually quite boring.
- 1812 - War of 1812: The United States declares war on the British Empire, the British respond by stopping the export of cricket and croquet products into America.
- 1917 - The first carbonated drink is put on the market, first batches are accidentally spiked with ridiculous amounts of cocaine.
- 1928 - Amelia Earhart attempts to crash land on a deserted island somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, fails miserably.
- 1983 - NASA astronaut Sally Ride becomes the first woman to pierce the heavens and reach outer space. Valentina who?
- 2017 - According to Vatican astrologists, St. Peter's Basilica is scheduled to reawaken on this day, and will terrorize the Italian countryside until a Pope is sacrificed within its gaping maw. (Pictured)
June 19: Synthetic Cheese Product Day (Netherlands)
- 1269 - Louis IX of France orders all Jews in his domain to take jobs in banking, law and finance.
- 1770 - Christians hope for Jesus to come soon, 'cus they have to meet with their friends at the mall in the afternoon.
- 1776 - After the American Revolution is declared, George Washington proclaims: "I've made a huge mistake."
- 1865 - After slavery is banned in U.S., businessmen unveil new mode of labor called internships.
- 1953 - Julius and Ethel Rosenberg sell state secrets to Soviet Union for a barrel of Utz Cheese Balls and four labor vouchers. (Pictured)
- 1980 - Freddy Mercury spies a little silhouetto of a man, disappointed to find a group of horny women.
- 2012 - Wikileaks founder Julian Assange leaks his ex-wife's grocery list, because the people demand to know.
June 20: Have a Nice Day
- 1877 - Alexander Graham Bell installs the world's first telephone service. First order of business is to invent the phone sex hotline.
- 1893 - Lizzie Borden is acquitted for the murders of her father and stepmother, after brandishing an axe at the judge, jury and the prosecution.
- 1959 - A rare hurricane strikes Canada's Gulf of St. Lawrence, destroying vast Sasquatch habitat in Nova Scotia and postponing National Curling Championships.
- 1963 - The U.S. and the Soviet Union create an emergency "red telephone" hotline so leaders of both countries can talk about their day and ask about the weather.
- 1973 - Argentina dictator Juan Perón orders the killing of 50,000 civilians who call the Malvinas the Falkland Islands.
- 1994 - The British finally land on the Moon, mission nearly aborted when tea kettle briefly malfunctions. (Pictured)
June 21: Midsummer Night's Dream
- 5400 BC - Ancient Druids create early pornography out of large stones on the Salisbury Plain in England, sadly it only works one day of the year, leading to many wars.
- 1940 - World War II: France surrenders to Germany, and that's all everybody says about France, no one remembers the Partisans! Sacrebleu!
- 1964 - The Ku Klux Klan bankrupts Bed Bath & Beyond after buying out all their white linen sheets.
- 1982 - John Hinckley is found not guilty be reason of insanity after disagreeing with Reagan's ideas on supply-side economics.
- 1994 - Study by the University of Cambridge shows that 14% of people born under the sign of Cancer are mauled by giant crabs. (Pictured)
- 2002 - The WHO finds a cure for polio, they go on to perform "Magic Bus" and "Pinball Wizard" to throngs of celebrating doctors.
- 2007 - Pluto sues the International Astronomical Union for defamation of character and libel.
- 1633 - Catholic Rome forces Galileo Galilei to recant his heliocentric beliefs, horde of neckbeards immediately descend on Vatican to pester bishops with their unwashed body odor.
- 1774 - Britain forces Quebec to act excessively French as punishment for losing the French and Indian War. (Pictured)
- 1898 - America, angry at being forced to take two years of High School Spanish, invades Cuba to liberate it from un-American rule.
- 1907 - The London Underground opens up three new above-ground railways, protesters angry at the incongruous nomenclature are killed after trying to block the trains that run there.
- 1941 - Nazi Germany makes the fatal mistake of starting a land war in Eurasia. Amateur hour.
- 1978 - Pluto's moon Charon is discovered, is later demoted to dwarf moon for being insufficiently colorful.
- 2015 - A Turkish F-4 Phantom II Jet crashes in Syria after several Kurdish children get stuck in the air intake.
June 23: Burn Your Middle School Sonic OC Fanfiction Day
- 1610 - Europe is carved into that funny shape we all know it to be.
- 1929 - Puppies declared the cutest darned thing, Infant Lobby promises to take this to the Supreme Court.
- 1941 - Lithuania overthrows their Soviet oppressors and becomes an independent nation for about a week before the Nazis invade.
- 1994 - I certainly didn't commit a triple homicide in Schenectady, New York, and their bodies were definitely not dumped in the Hudson river.
- 2007 - Those Sonic cartoons you drew in that dolphin notebook in middle school are still at your aunt's house. (Pictured)
- 2010 - The Second Coming of Jesus Christ is complicated when he comes back as a Native American, Protestants appalled, Catholics ashamed, as usual.
- 2016 - After some goading from America, the United Kingdom actually does it, the absolute madman.
June 24: Pray for Someone Else to Do It Day
- 1146 - The Finnish people emerge from the Baltic sea in search of a home. (Pictured)
- 1664 - Hell starts to get full. New Jersey is founded.
- 1672 - The Polish win their first war after the elite Winged Hussars fly into battle, gliding just above the reach of enemy spears.
- 1902 - Pablo Picasso opens the first exhibit of his artwork, is immediately handed loads of money by haute art critics who don't want to seem square.
- 1957 - After the U.S. Supreme Court rules smut not protected by the first amendment, Playboy starts putting interviews on their magazine.
- 1913 - Greece and Serbia gives Bulgaria the silent treatment.
- 2004 - New York declares the death penalty unconstitutional, Texas offers to execute New Yorkers on their state's behalf.
June 25: National Redneck Day (U.S.)
- 524 - The Franks defeat the Burgers, and liberate the Ketchup Kingdom from its tyranny and oppressive roundness.
- 1741 - Maria Theresa of Austria is crowned King of Hungary in what is possibly the most confusing coronation in history.
- 1838 - The first use of Escher-esque architecture in children's playground equipment ends in tragedy after a child is transformed into two disembodied hands drawing each other.
- 1888 - Oscar Wilde pens The Happy Prince and Other Stories after discovering that children don't judge your prose.
- 1981 - General Electric introduces the outdoor toilet for use in smaller homes. Sales are fair-to-middling. (Pictured)
- 2008 - U.S. President Barack Obama selects a cabinet, yet would require nearly two more weeks to settle on an acceptable bookshelf.
- 2009 - Michael Jackson dies after his skin lightning cream turns him into pure sunlight.
June 26: Onanism Day
- 1924 - American troops leave the Dominican Republic after drinking all of their rum and horchata.
- 1948 - In response to the Berlin Blockade, allied fighter planes drop cans of food to mock starving communists who don't have can openers.
- 1960 - Madagascar gains its independence from France after France discovers they still owned Madagascar.
- 1963 - John F. Kennedy accidentally declares his solidarity with the citizens of Berlin after trying to express his love for jelly donuts.
- 2000 - Pope John Paul II reveals the third secret of Fátima: "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."
- 2002 - The exact day and year you should have resumed masturbating after 9/11.
- 2015 - The U.S. Supreme Court rules masturbation to be "totally straight and not gay at all, fuck you Kevin."
June 27: Atheists Using Mithraism as an Argument Against the Existence of a Historical Jesus Day
- 476 - Odoacer sacks Rome in response to not being invited to the Senate's toga party.
- 1617 - The Hapsburg Dynasty is created after the 1st Dynasty Warriors set in feudal Austria.
- 1992 - Fedor Emelianenko defeats Terrorism at a twenty minute decision in PRIDE.
- 1974 - U.S. President Richard Nixon visits the Soviet Union, is inspired by the Potemkin village to invent the State of Massachusetts.
- 1976 - The Farrah flip-falls out of style in most Middle Eastern countries, except strangely in Oman.
- 1980 - Freddie Mercury finally gets to ride his bicycle.
- 2004 - Krispy Kreme invents the first Glazed atom bomb, but fat hungry people lick all the glaze off.
June 28: Adamand Eve in Nairobi & Iceland, Obliviousness Awareness Day in Chad
- 1493 - Unimpressed by Columbus' attempt to reach the Far East by sailing west, navigator Ernesto de Borgnine attempts to reach the Americas by sailing East. His ship crashes into the Cadiz docks thirty seconds into his journey.
- 1619 - Nostradamus predicts that everyone will die someday, including the music.
- 1745 - Sharon Stone begins her first retirement at the age of 57.
- 1851 - Franco-Pakistani War ends in a draw after a sudden death match.
- 1922 - The bloody war between Chile and France ends abruptly when both countries realize that they don't have common borders to fight over.
- 1945 - Everyone too tired from the end of the war to do anything at all.
- 1947 - Obliviousness Awareness Day declared in Chad.
- 1973 - Scholars discover the first gay couple, Adam and Steve, in Israel.
- 1980 - Earthquake in the Chinese village of Bu-Chu-Fu. Millions die.
- 2009 - One of our greatest, Billy Mays passes on to infomercial heaven. You can get Billy Mays and for a limited time only, his charisma for not one or two but three eternities!
June 29: Make Crude Jokes About Genitals Day
- 1194 – Sverre is crowned King of Norway, beginning a long reign of Danish Kings with unpronounceable names.
- 1542 – The comic strip Calvin and Hobbes debuts, lightheartedly poking fun at such contemporary topics as the Protestant Reformation. (Pictured)
- 1884 – The Picture of Dorian Gray is released by Oscar Wilde, consisting largely of crude jokes about genitals.
- 1965 – The auto accident starting the "Paul is dead" hoax occurs in England.
- 1972 – The U.S. Supreme Court rules the death penalty could constitute 'cruel and unusual punishment', particularly the more outlandish methods of carrying out the sentence, such as Texas' legendary alligator tank.
- 1999 – Prince continues to party.
- 2009 – Millions of Americans suffering from insomnia are miraculously cured when Jimmy Fallon receives his own late night talk show.
June 30: Dare A Younger Sibling To Eat An Insect Day (pictured)
- 3000 BC – Cain dares Abel to eat a scorpion. Abel does, and falls dead. Cain tries to explain it was an accident, but nobody will listen.
- 1500 BC – Aaron dares his younger brother Moses to eat a scarab beetle. Moses does so, and the gritty taste convinces him to lead his people from Egypt.
- 1859 – Oscar Wilde, despondent over not having a sibling to dare to eat an insect or be dared to eat an insect by, consumes an earwig.
- 1921 – U.S. President Warren G. Harding appoints former President William Howard Taft to the Supreme Court, after Taft successfully attempts to eat a small quantitiy of mosquitoes.
- 1959 – American actor Vincent D'Onofrio is born, paving the way to a career of acting as though he had just accepted a dare to eat a rather nasty-tasting insect.
- 1971 – Ohio ratifies the 26th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, lowering the voting age to 18, and lowering the threshold at which younger siblings are no longer required to accept bug-related dares to 16.
- 1999 – The Court of Bermuda sentences Erik Deli to death for putting mosquito paste on his younger brother's sandwich.