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- 524 - The Franks defeat the Burgers, and liberate the Ketchup Kingdom from its tyranny and oppressive roundness.
- 1741 - Maria Theresa of Austria is crowned King of Hungary in what is possibly the most confusing coronation in history.
- 1838 - The first use of Escher-esque architecture in children's playground equipment ends in tragedy after a child is transformed into two disembodied hands drawing each other.
- 1888 - Oscar Wilde pens The Happy Prince and Other Stories after discovering that children don't judge your prose.
- 1981 - General Electric introduces the outdoor toilet for use in smaller homes. Sales are fair-to-middling. (Pictured)
- 2008 - U.S. President Barack Obama selects a cabinet, yet would require nearly two more weeks to settle on an acceptable bookshelf.
- 2009 - Michael Jackson dies after his skin lightning cream turns him into pure sunlight.