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- 40K BC - World population becomes 14½ after strange boulder incident.
- 1204 BC - Space hobos forced back into ocean once and for all, but only after great sacrifice.
- 1932 - Harlem renaissance poet Langston Hughes writes the first Yo momma joke.
- 2003 - The Spirit Rover is sent to Mars after getting banned from all American Airlines flights. (Pictured)
- 2010 - Family Guy renewed for its 47th season.
- 2007 - The second coming of Elvis occurs, his first press announcement: "I was just kidding, uh-huh."
- 2010 - First Koala is sent to the Moon, entire world goes "Awwww".
- 2016 - The sun sets, and nothing changes.