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This page is a member of the Uncyclopedia Timeline. If an event isn't listed in the timeline, it most likely happened.
Represented here are the time periods from January to December 1983.
The year of our lord 1983 served as a prequel to the well known Nineteen Eighty-Four and sequel to the obscure 1982. Starting on a Saturday, many children began the year watching Saturday morning cartoons and many Jews began the year resting; things did not get much better for 1983 after that.
1983 in the World[edit | edit source]
1983 is when the Apple computer was released.
February[edit | edit source]
- February 28 - M*A*S*H airs its last episode; out of work, Alan Alda resorts to Scientific American Frontiers to pay the bills.
March[edit | edit source]
- March 23 - Michael Jackson invents the moonwalk; NASA immediately promotes Jackson to full astronaut status.
April[edit | edit source]
- April 3 - Jesus rises from the dead again; nobody pays much attention this time.
- April 15 - Disneyland Tokyo opens; Japanese copyright terms are extended by 100 years.
May[edit | edit source]
- May 4 - The Hitler Diaries are published, revealing the late dictator's "totally huge crush" on Heinrich Himmler
June[edit | edit source]
- June 13 - Pioneer 10 leaves the solar system, transmitting its final message, "So long, suckers!"
- June 18 - Sally Ride becomes the first American Woman in space; men around the world collectively decry the end of the last place they had left to get away from their wives.
July[edit | edit source]
- July 15 - The Nintendo Entertainment System goes on sale in Japan and the world is never the same again.
- July 21 - The lowest temperature on earth is recorded in Vostok Station, Antarctica with −89.2 °C (−128.6 °F), dry ice forms spontaneously and scientists refer to the measurement as, "Really God-damned, fucking cold! I mean, seriously, for fuck's sake it's cold!"
August[edit | edit source]
- August 30 - Guion Bluford becomes the first African-American in space; white men, still reeling from having lost space to women, throw up their arms in defeat before going to their rooms to sulk.
September[edit | edit source]
- September 5 - NBC appoints Tom Brokaw King of Television.
- September 27 - GNU Project founded; Richard Stallman appoints self God-emperor of free software but everyone continues to think of him as a pudgy nerd with poor hygiene.
October[edit | edit source]
- October 21 - At the 17th General Conference on Weights and Measures, scientists finally figure out how long a meter is; the metric system is no longer complete bunk.
- October 25 - Microsoft releases the Word; having regained the Logos, God is able to return to work.
November[edit | edit source]
- November 2 - Ronald Reagan signs the bill making Martin Luther King Day a national holiday, ending racism once and for all.
- November 3 - Jesse Jackson announces his candidacy for President of the United States, reviving racism after its brief death.
- November 14 - Yes releases 90125, the successful sequel to their previous 90124 prog rock albums.
- November 16 - That guy who writes Preserve the 80s is born
December[edit | edit source]
- December 2 - Jeffrey Phillips of Hoboken, New Jersey suddenly understands the big deal about Simon and Garfunkel.
- December 25 - Christians everywhere celebrate Christmas.
- December 27 - A propane explosion in Buffalo, NY kills 5 firefighters and Hank Hill's self-esteem.
- December 31 - Two bombs explode in France; 25 also explode in Lebanon, but nobody cares about muslims.